ADULTERY

ooops

double posting.

but i'd also like to add that my husband himself said that sometimes he doesn't read the whole article but just the comments.

is there a problem with that?

This has been such an interesting thread...

at many levels.

I am a married woman, and i have to confess that there have been times where i have found myself fantasizing. After four dacaded of being married, lets face it; things can get a bit boring; or overwhelming.

I remember years ago, after having a rough patch with my hubby; which left me very depressed and helpless, i found myself getting really turned on by watching some 20 year old kid performing karate acts!! First,i was really shocked by my own reaction;and then, i found it amusing, and finally i realized it is indeed because i am a human, and that i have emotions;and that i can both be at the giving and the receiving end. That episode, in fact, helped me to get through a serious deprerssion that i was going through.

I liked this piece; i looked at it as a fantasy. I, personally, could not go with actual cheating on my husband. But, i had fantasized being with others! Is that cheating? I dont know...My fantasies have helped me through tough times. And, every time that i got turned on by a man, i was reminded of my womanness; and in turn, that has helped me to approach my hubby with a more confident view; which has led to better communication, and therefore better sex!

So, i am scratching my head here; I am not sure i hate this piece...I look at it as a well told fantasy...

D

dude... chill out.  why so hostile?  i think everyone knows i don't read farsi.  i think i implied that myself. 

is there not a discussion of adultery in this thread?  i commented on that.

is there not a discussion of the use of the "k" word in this thread?  i commented on that.

did JJ and flying solo NOT use the term "hole" when it comes to women?  i commented on that.

am i not married to an iranian and know what the word "k--s" and "k-r" means.  i commented on that.

what part of this is unintelligent to you?

Response to Ari and nobody else - so spare me guys

Ari:

My turn to demonstrate to you the Passive Aggression and Victim mentality

She does not discuss the issue with her husband.

She is cold from the get go - first night. Would rather wash hair.

She turns her sadness to anger.

She takes him back over and over again with resentment. Kind of keeping a secret score probably.  She stays with him after his betrayal.

She maintains a 6 month emotional affair without letting out a peep at home.

She has it off with a married man - (safe option to ensure no attachment),

She does not reciprocate sex with married lover, she merely takes. And when it kind of gets sticky, ditches him. 

She divorces husband again with no discussion - just up and gone.  

She would have the reader believe that despite her 'finesse' at work - she is an 'innocent' one in bed.  To which I say 'pshaar'.   

Intelligent women pulling in a paycheck don't hang around men who treat them like toilets - not inside of a marriage and not outside of it.  Now conniving ones - yes - possibly - until they see a better deal on the horizon and to those I say - you get what you deserve.  :)

Souri

personally, i think it was a LOT of misunderstanding and mislead information. 

i may be liberated and all that good stuff...but this is just something i feel very very strongly about.  maybe the religion... maybe old fashioned parents and upbringing.  i prefer to think of it as my parents instilling a sense of honor in me.  whatever...:-)

Anonymous Fish: You

Anonymous Fish:

You wrote:"as i understand it, this article is also about the use of "k" words. maybe it's a difference of interpretation, but i can tell you 100% that i'd rather someone use the word "k..s" than the term "hole". one is simply the common term for a vagina. "hole" is vulgar. in my opinion."

You are so funny! You can't read Farsi, can you?!

Pretty good 'guess work' on what the topic of discussion is, but no cigar. You understood wrong.

Though I give you some credit for your courage, tell me whatever made you think you can make an intelligent comment on a blog you can't read and understand? I'm really curious to know the answer!

azad & fish

you are right "Cheating is cheating".
would be so ulgy and too low to put beautiful name "love" on it.

But question is: in this story woman react to her husband acts and cheat!! to me, after a husband cheats, there is no WOW anymore to respect!!!
contract is OVER!!! and wife has all the rights to do whatever she wants to do....
In this story i dont think that lack of sex in her life forced her to cheat.. that is revenge..so it wont be counted Cheat.

besides, why iranian women tend to kill herself to satisfy thier GOD and keep thier GOD happy by ignoring their rights.. and allowing their men to
treat them like a dirt...!!!! GROW

AF....

surprisingly, I see that we two have more in common than I previously thought :O))

I do totally agree with you (the first paragraph) especially here:

" cheating her... cheating yourself.   it's a matter of honor.  you dishonor yourself when you disregard the vows of marriage. "

Marriage is a contract (personal and social) and like in any other contract, it seems disloyl and degrading to me, if I cheat, once I'm engaged. Why those people don' get divorce ? I believe some people get more pleasure when they cheat rather than having sex in a loyal context :-)

...

اگر جهانشاه ميگه نويسنده خانم هست، من قبول ميكنم .منتهي من چند بار داستان رو خوندم و با تجربيات خودم كه از زنان ايروني در قديم داشتم مقايسه ميكنم ، هيچ شباهتي پيدا نميكنم.

كاشكي همه خانمهاي ايروني اينطوري بودند.

Azad

don't blame "liberation" on feminists in terms of adultery.  i'm pretty liberated and i consider adultery cheating. period. you can put a pretty name on it and it doesn't change a thing.  cheating is cheating.  and to justify cheating because a partner leaves you "unfullfilled"?  plain old bullshit.  if you're unfullfilled... talk to your partner.  again and again and again.  and if you're still "unfullfilled", get a divorce.  that's assuming she doesn't care if you cheat on her.  cheating her... cheating yourself.   it's a matter of honor.  you dishonor yourself when you disregard the vows of marriage.  i don't care WHAT spin you put on it. 

this is just a curious question.  both JJ and flying solo referred to the term "women as holes".  as i understand it, this article is also about the use of "k" words.  maybe it's a difference of interpretation, but i can tell you 100% that i'd rather someone use the word "k..s" than the term "hole".  one is simply the common term for a vagina.  "hole" is vulgar.  in my opinion.

The TheMrs

"Why does she have to explore herself as a result of a negative experience?...I mean this could be her true story and it does happen. But Iranian women can't be reduced to JUST this."

"Explore herself"??!! "Reduced"?!! Do you mean that a woman who cheats on her husband just for the heck of it or to "explore herself" is somehow MORE liberated than a woman who does it as a result of a negative experience?

Really. This inferiority complex of Iranian women in this forum and their morbid obsession with power, is really sickening.

abarmard jaan

if a loyal, honest, respectful man does not get what he desire from his wife after informing her of his needs, then get it somewhere else with someone else, we WONT call him a pig "assuming that story is real.."

but if a womanizer married man write this story I would call him ho...pig....or whatever that he deserve...

The worst negative impact of betraying your wife is ruining her soul and destroying her... and that is exactly what has happend to Parinaz "if her story is real"

Orang Gholikhani

Iranian man writes like this? Would be called a pig!

TheMrs.

Here dime a dozen! Sorry don't mean to be insensitive.

//iranian.com/main/blog/maryam-baaji/best...

or sexual heelings

//iranian.com/main/node/53295

You asked for it, now do you have time to read all that? Hopefully you have already read them.

Why did she wrote what she wrote? I don't know you'll have to ask her. I suspect she likes writing this way, cheshm baste gheyb goftam!

Why do people are having a hard time believing she is a woman? Because some people (wink wink) encourage them to believe that by saying repeatedly that she is a woman!

Good woman bad woman is in the eye of the beholder like everything else. No such thing as good girl bad girl. There is such a thing as good life and bad life.

If you're happy but have to bite your tongue and don't use the K word then don't. If you are miserable and are constantly using the K word, K word isn't going to be your salvation. If you're happy and K word slips off your tongue like Samantha then that's cool too. Whatever makes you happy.

stop cheering the decadence

She is toxic to herself, her family and ultimately to the society. For those who cheer this woman and supporting her immoral behavior, please stop copying the other cultures and be you and let them copy you. We are Iranian and with a sophisticated culture with deep and highest ethical values when it comes to family and marriage.

Sherlock Souri

To D

I'm talking about stories specifically about Iranian women and their bodies. Especially written by Iranian women. Any recommendations?

Why do you think it's so hard for people to believe this is from a woman? And why do you think it's so hard for people to accept her language? Because it's perceived as some anomaly. And that stereotype is further reinforced each time a "liberated" woman is finally reduced to some victim status. AHA! that's why she refers to her body in this way because her husband cheated with zanayeh bad bad. AHA! she was in a crappy relationship and she was so frustrated she did something terrible. "GOOD" women NEEEEVVER talk that way! Only bad bad bad men do.

Couldn't she have come from a regular relationship that ended like so many others do? Why does she have to explore herself as a result of a negative experience? Why does there have to be a big bad mean Iranian dude invovlved? Can an Iranian woman not exist as an individual?

I'm beginning to think this is a generational thing. Older people just cannot accept younger people use a different language. Kind of like the Iranian obsession with ghamo ghosseh. Someone has to ALWAYS be hurt. A man has to always be there to abuse a helpless 18 year old. I mean this could be her true story and it does happen. But Iranian women can't be reduced to JUST this.

so all this waste of time

so all this waste of time for a lesbian?
do you all have jobs?

bravo capt_a for last

bravo capt_a for last paragraph and also Mrs. excellent points by both of you.

Orang

That's not true. If a man had written a story about his mistress and threw in few K words here and there we'd be having the same conversation. If you don't believe me write a similar story and publish it and see for yourself.

My 2 cents

First:

I don't understand what's all this fuss about the gender of this writer. Man or woman, what does it change? I do believe she is a woman as JJ says. Not only this, I do believe that I know who she is. She is a writer/poet who already expressed herself here in this site with her own real name. She is a woman, but not a married woman, she is a lesbian. Look at this

معشوق من برای اولین بار در سکس با مرد مرا به ارگاسم معرفی کرد

What heterosexuel woman express herself in this way?

Second:

As Nazy jan rightfully said, If this writer tries to write a romantic story or a novel this is a total fail. There's not romanticism neither a nice writing skill or flaw in this story

If she wanted only to express one of the "woman problem" from a "feminist" position, this is acceptable. But again, nothing new nor original. Actually I could take it like a friend, a neigbor, or a colleague "dard o del" nothing extra ordinary here

This is not a particularly "Iranian woman" problem. The only particularity here is that, it is posted in "Farsi" and in an Iranian website, with a lot of Iranian men!! readers who always take things very personally

Not wort all this observation, but however it is interesting to read all the different opinion 

What If

I'm sure if an Iranian man has wrote the same story, I mean a man having a mistresse, we wont have any commenst and here people are uncomfortable when it is a women telling this story.

It makes me very sad seeing our cultural poorness  !

Solo

She has been told she belongs to her husband and her physical pleasure is unimportant or shameful. She dares to disagree (verve #1).

 She is angry, insulted, indignant and in no mood for one-way maturity (verve #2)

She has sex with someone she chooses and enjoys herself  (verve #3).

I'm running out of verves here, but I refer you to Tahmineh Milani's "Two Women" to see what sort of husband I am imagining here. The wife is much brighter and more educated than the husband. She tries to help him into better behavior, but the beast just won't fit on a therapist's couch.

It is amazing that Iranian

It is amazing that Iranian men think that women that actually think or have sexual desires are not women but a "Sibil Koloft" , I really would like to know why she is a "Sibili Koloft" ? seriously???

A husband is not caring, attentive to his woman's needs. The wife lives in America , works with all these hot men and gets all this attention from these men and is not satisfied with the very little her husband is willing to offer her. One day, the wife wakes up and realizes that she won't be young forever and she refuses to allow some man to take away her dreams and happiness. While she is on a business trip as usual which is probably part of her work routine , she takes the chances and gets the first orgasm of her life and damn, it feels great. Why is this article not realistic? why? just because some women in this forum are not capable or willing to overstep boundaries , does not mean everybody else is not. And yes, the female organ can be perfectly described as just a hole for some inconsiderate men just as the male organ can be easily replaced by a good vibrator. I like vibrators but I like intimacy more. Some immature men or women do not value intimacy as much as they should. Any woman can get an orgasm by watching some of her favorite porn, fantasizing about her man, and utilizing a vibrator. However, I believe the author of this piece is looking for intimacy. It is not just women lusting for intimacy, men do that too. Prostitutes are cheap compared to real girlfriends but most men opt for real girlfriends because of the intimacy they can have with them as opposed to hard and plain sex with a prostitute.

Shadooneh

Dear shadooneh,

Do not take my comment as being scientific. When we deal with emotions, particularly as profound as love many factors come to play. What I said is a general statement about the biology of man and woman.

Let me give an example. If a man catches his wife/girl friend in act of disloyalty, the very first question he would ask her is [Did you sleep with him]. Women on the other hand will ask[Do you love her?]. What does this tell us is that fundamentally, this is how our brains are wired to perceive this strong emotion called love. Men do tend to mix up sex and love, since both create extreme feelings and sensations.

To answer to your final question, I can't be judge of your masculinity nor femininity [jk] 

-YT

Baleh, zaneh

May I emphasize, again, that the author IS a woman. That's right, nevisandeh zaneh. I know the author. Chand baar begam?

Many gentlemen don't want to accept that women know about sex and experience sex much the same way as men do. Who do you think men sleep with? WOMEN! So why do you think that they are "innocent" and ignorant about sexual matters. Why can't you accept that the desire for sexual ecstasy exists in both men and women? Women want to enjoy it just as much as men.

This idea that women are innocent about sex reminds me of that famous joke, where the seemingly innocent wife shocks her husband by telling him the difference between a "doodool" and a "keer".

Women in general still know less about sex compared to men, but that's just because they have not had the opportunity. They have functioned in male-dominated cultures for ages.

But things are changing -- fast! Even in the ultra-conservative Islamic Republic, women in large cities are sexually active outside and inside marriage. And I have no doubt that they are NOT going tolerate men who don't satisfy. Why should they?!

So wake up guys! Stop being surprised that a woman could write about sex in such a fashion.

khanomi and The Mrs

"Just read the story and enjoy it HALA KE BA KE CHEKAR MIKONEH , fiction or nonfiction it's interesting to read."

I agree. Exactly. I actually like what she writes. Not only I'd like to encourage her to continue writing but I'd also like to ask other writers, such as Flying Solo and Ari (perhaps even myself) to write these type of writings. Throw in few K word here and there and there you go! Perhaps some can even translate Penthouse Letters ;-)

This is a good diversion from other political writings that smell of ghorme sabzi and nonsense.

My problem is that some people like Jahanshah Javid try to extrapolate sexual revolution from this type of writings in Farsi, in English no less! Sexual revolution has already happened. Time to wake up. Even Mullahs have Frequently Asked Questions section about sex, here's a link:

//www.emamrohani.net/estefta/ans.php?stfid=10...

TheMrs in the same token Mr. Javid is trying to feed us this as sexual revolution you shouldn't think that writings about women in good light are rare. Just do a search in this very website and there are many good stories.

Everything in its place. Erotica and selfesteem they each have their own place.

Flying Solo and Ari: yawn...

Parinaz is exactly the opposite of you, which is boring and wordy (at least on the topic of sex!). And pseudo-intellectual. Bottom line: it is fun to read her and not you.

And Flying Solo, I agree with the commentator who said part of your problem is that your Farsi is not very good. Parinaz makes it very clear that she knows what she felt for her colleague was not "love." She is very aware that what she was feeling was purely physical with some circumstantial feelings attached.

I have a feeling the writer is going to eventually treat us to exploring pleasure with women as well. She has put in a little aside to that effect!

This is a fiction

I guarantee you not only this is a fiction, no woman has written this.
Writer is a man putting his fantasies on paper.
But saying that, it is still interesting.
Ramin

Couragous and Spirited!

Regardless of whether this is a work of fiction or it reflects the reality, I enjoyed the piece quite a bit. I ought to mention, however, that in my opinion the explicit use of some words (and you know what I mean) has perhaps diminished the overall elegance and beauty of the piece.