من شب عروسیم باکره بودم. هجده سالم بود. شوهرم که از من هفت هشت سال بزرگتر بود، چند باری با فاحشه ها خوابیده بود و همین. فکر می کنم همدیگر رو دوست داشتیم اما امروز دیگه یادم نمیاد هجده ساله ها چی از عشق می دانند. چند سالی زندگی معمولیی داشتیم. بعدش هم اختلافاتمان شروع شد و دامه پیدا کرد تا جدا شدیم.
ازش هیچی راجع به سکس یاد نگرفتم. از شب اولش که خسته بودم و پاهام درد می کرد و دلم می خواست صورت و مو هامو بشورم و برم بخوابم، اما طاقت نداشت و صبر نکرد تا تمام سالهایی که با زن جوانش مدل حاجی ها با سرعت و بی دقت نزدیکی کرد، هیچ خاطره’ دل انگیزی از سکس باهاش ندارم. می دونم بعضی شبها وقتی خواب بودم، یکهو میامد می چسبید به من از پشت و من از حرارت و سفتی کیرش که به پشتم می مالید بیدار می شدم. همیشه پیش خودم فکر می کردم این چطوری و کی بدون من اینطوری تحریک شده؟ چرا زودتر بیدارم نکرد تا با هم تحریک بشیم؟ چندصد بار هم کیرش فقط تحریک و داغ نبود، بلکه خیس هم بود. معلوم بود تا لحظه’ آخر صبر کرده و بعد آمده سراغ من.
وای که چقدر حالم بد میشد. به حرکاتی که بعدش انجام میشد نمیشد بگویم عشقبازی. چون نه عشقی درش بود و نه بازی. وقتی اینطور بیدارم میکرد، فقط یکی دو دقیقه از آمدن فاصله داشت. چندین بار قبل از اینکه کیرش وارد کسم بشه آبش آمد. اول ها فکر می کردم سکس همینه. بعدا هر بار این اتفاق می افتاد خجالت می کشیدم. بعد از این هربار اینطور می شد غمگین می شدم. تا اینکه بالاخره از این ماجرا عصبانی می شدم. بالاخره فهمیده بودم که من برای شوهرم چیزی بیش از یک سوراخ نیستم، یک سطل آشغال، یک کاسه’ توالت. چیزی به اسم نوازش و بوسیدن و مالیدن و ناز کردن و تحریک کردن قبل از سکس برای ما وجود نداشت.
بدترین نتیجه’ این ارتباط این بود که من چون از سکس با شوهرم بدم میامد، برای مدت طولانی فکر می کردم که من اصولا سرد مزاجم، که من از سکس بدم میاد و مشکل خیلی بزرگی در این زمینه دارم. نمیدانستم باید به کی بگم و چه کار بکنم. می دانستم داشتن ارگاسم برای زنها در انتهای عشقبازی با یک مرد چیز مهمیه و خیلی دلم می خواست من هم بدانم که چه احساسیه، اما نمی دانستم باید چکار کنم.
حداقل سه بار متوجه شدم که بهم خیانت کرده، اما چون فکر می کردم من سردمزاجم، بعد از قهر و آشتی های وحشتناک بعدش، بخشیدمش و باهاش زندگی می کردم.
تا اینکه با مردی سر کارم آشنا شدم و نمیدانم چطور شد که عاشقش شدم. او هم زن داشت. شش ماهی کاری نمی کردیم بجز اینکه تمام روزمان را با هم سرکار بگذرانیم. عصر ها هم می رفتیم سر زندگی های خودمان و هیچوقت با هم تماس نمی گرفتیم. با او بود که می فهمیدم واکنش هایم به او فرق دارد. برای اولین بار توی زندگیم با حرف زدن با یک مرد، با یک نگاه، با یک شوخی، نهر کوچک و گرمی لای پاهام راه میفتاد، پستونهام سفت میشد و بی قرار می شدم.
کشف این تحولات جدید در خودم و در بدنم برای من به مثابه’ تائید زنیتم، تائید جنسیتم، و تائید سلامتیم بود. مثل اینکه با کشف این احساسات در خودم تازه داشتم مطمئن می شدم که من چیزیم نیست. دوستش داشتم.. اگر امروز می دیدمش امکان نداشت عاشقش بشوم، اما آن موقع، در جایی که در زندگیم بودم، حضورش معنا و اهمیت بسیار مهمی داشت و وقتی مردی برایت حضوری با معنا و مهم داشته باشد، عاشق شدن کار آسانی است.
تا اینکه یک روز با هم رفتیم یک ماموریت کاری.
وقتی با هم توی لابی هتل نشسته بودیم و حرف میزدیم، دستشو آورد و با انگشتاش روی صورتم خطوط ابرو، بینی و لبمو لمس کرد. همین. وقتی دستهاشو آورد پایین و به من گفت "میخوای بریم توی اتاق من؟" من بدون حرف دنبالش رفتم.
از توی آسانسور شروع کردیم به بوسیدن همدیگر. وقتی رسیدیم توی اتاق، نفهمیدم لباسهامونو چطوری در آوردیم و چطوری افتادیم توی بغل همدیگر توی تخت. منو می بوسید و لمس می کرد و من هم پاسخ می دادم. برای اولین بار توی زندگیم اون روز، کسمو خورد. از ترس و خجالت نمی تونستم نفس بکشم. با خودم می خندیدم که دارم به شوهرم خیانت می کنم و هنوز دست از ترس و خجالت بر نداشته ام. بعد از کمی تقلا می فهمیدم که حس عجیبی، رعشه’ ناشناسی، حرارت غیر قابل توصیفی، داره توی پایین تنه ام اتفاق میفته و از آنجا یک چیزی مثل رعد و برق به باقی بدنم متصاعد میشه.
اینجا بود که خودم را رها کردم. رها. دلم می خواهد این کلمه’ رها را چند بار بنویسم تا بتوانم احساسی را که آن روز در آن لحظه داشتم خوب بیان کنم.
برای اولین بار در زندگیم احساس رخوت و هیجان جنسی را توام تجربه می کردم. با این وجود آن بار اول که او با دهانش مرا لیسید و مکید، من نیامدم. طول کشید تا در برابر این پدیده به اندازه’ کافی آرام و پذیرا باشم تا بتواند مرا به اوج رسیدن ببرد.. اما نکته’ مهم دیگری که حس می کردم این بود که خیسم، خیس خیس.. وقتی بالاخره بعد از مدت طولانی، یا لا اقل در آن زمان برای من مدت طولانی حس می شد، روی من قرار گرفت و کیرش وارد کسم شد، از این که لیز می خورد و با حرکاتش موجهای لذت در من ایجاد می کرد متعجب و خوشحال شده بودم. چقدر احساس خوب و متفاوتی بود. معشوق من برای اولین بار در سکس با مرد مرا به ارگاسم معرفی کرد.
از سفر که برگشتیم زندگی سخت تر شد. برای دستهایش و بدنش و آغوشش بی تاب می شدم و این نمی گذاشت درست فکر کنم، درست تصمیم بگیرم. باهاش به هم زدم. ارتباط بین مرد زن دار و زن شوهر دار مجموعه’ پیچیده ای است که سراسر راهش پر از برنامه ریزی همراه با دروغ و احساس گناه است، چه مسلمان باشی و چه گبرو چه لادین. چه ایرانی و چه خارجی. از خودم بدم میامد و احساس عجز می کردم. وقتی باهاش به هم زدم راحت شدم. برگشتم سر زندگی خودم، نه برای ادامه اش، بلکه برای طلاق. طلاق نه برای مرد دیگری، بلکه برای خودم. باقیش باشد یه وقت دیگر.
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ok mr capt_.. you cheat on
by truthfulness (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 01:16 PM PSTok mr capt_.. you cheat on your wife fine, but i have to tell you she cheats on you too perhaps but maybe your score is 4 to 2 in your favor. you are right.
truthfullness
by capt_ayhab on Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:50 PM PSTActually dude, you have it backwards. It is men who statistically cheat more than women. This trend is almost universal.
-YT
Anonymous<<>>
by capt_ayhab on Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:44 PM PSTAge has nothing to do with ability of a man in satisfying a woman or the other way around. Even in USA, more and more young women in their 20's are attracted to older men in their 40's or even 50's. When asked about the age gap, these young women cite men's maturity, tenderness, established life, and [knowing what to do with a woman].
Biologically, men peak their sexual ability at age 18-22, where women peak at 35-40. Do not dispute this statement without researching it.
Another issue to consider is that, relatively speaking sex for men is more of a physical interaction, where for women is more of emotional. Proof of this is in the way men and women achieve orgasm. For men there must be penetration, where as for women, simple touch and tenderness can achieve it. Another proof is woman's ability to have multiple orgasm, where as men have ONE.
With all that said, culturally Iranian men see their wives copy of their mothers. as a result it becomes close to impossible for a healthy Iranian women to express her desires, fantasies and even fetishes[if any]. When a woman dares to say anything[case example., the essay] she is called a [jendeh].
Same men who are masalan [gheyrati] about these issues, joke with their own male friends by calling each other[khar kosteh, madar jendeh] and such. But when a woman talks or writes in a manor that is sexually explicit, these type of men scream[GHEYRAT] and morality. However the same men pay for a few minutes with a prostitute. This my friend is called hypocrisy, because no decent men is supposed to BUY sex, right?
TheMrs.
Firstly thanks for your explanation. Just between you and me, I am a bit [KHENG] .... ;-)
Secondly this gentleman say: [Those young girls who were auctioned off to older men with money will never find out their womanhood until after their first marriage or through having an affair.]
Didn't I say that before you know it somebody is going to connect a simple[bokon bokon] story to IR and Islam.
Regards
-YT
persian W
by Souri on Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:26 PM PSTVery great comment! Especially this part :
1- I’m not a literary critic by any means, but this seems to me as too dry and mechanical , as if every other components of the story than the sexuality, are reduced to a redundant and useless matter. I assume It would be tasteless to talk about sexuality out of an emotional context particularly for women whom their sexuality less likely to emerge without a stronger emotional pretext .
You got it all.
This is what make me to think that the writer has no "real experience in this domain!! I mean, all these stories are based on fantasies and not real (which is nothing wrong) but lack the needed emotional context. That's what I was talking about, when I said:
If this writer tries to write a romantic story or a novel this is a
total fail. There's not romanticism neither a nice writing skill or
flaw in this story
to Arash78
by facts (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:21 PM PSTArash78,
Will you be virgin to your wife? Are you willing to hold on your sexual desire until you marry? or you will carry baggages and enforce your past experince to your future wife? don't you beleive that only a virgin is good for another virgin?
do you know that all Iranain girls/women wants to be the only intimate partner for their husband, regardless if they are virgin or not?
the truth is that most women
by truthfulness (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:03 PM PSTthe truth is that most women cheat on their husbands specially living in the west.
the husbands who are so busy with work whether it is a chelo kababi or high tech jobs they never find out. the women smile and say to the man so happy you come home. he goes to sleep early being tired the woman dreams about another man and smiles how dumb her husband is.
so this is a reality check message for you men who think are happy marrying the most beautiful one you could find.
just don't cry
To "69"
by Arash78 (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:58 AM PSTVirginity before marriage is not an "archaic" tradition but a choice. I am personally much much more comfortable to marry a girl who has had no prior experience than one who carries a heavy baggage of past relationships, sexual experiences, emotional history...etc I also like to feel the exclusivity of being the only one who has slept with my wife and not to share this intimacy with a bunch of other guys in her past.
This is a personal choice I make and it has nothing to do with traditions. I was raised in the West and I am NOT from a conservative family.
And Iranian women have to understand and except this very fundamental need of men. One of the main reasons why a great number of Iranian men just refuse to get married nowadays, is that women are confusing real life with "Sex and the City"! If women go back to their more traditional, natural, decent, innocent ways, there will be much less problems in and outside marriages. Don't you think so "Mrs 69"?!
Argaith
by facts (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:35 AM PSTto Argaith,
You are intellignet & really underestanding..
lucky your wife..
what you said is true, if iranian men could underestand it, they could enhance their life in every aspect of it...
What I find interesting
by persian w (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:23 AM PSTWhat I find interesting about this story / writing:
1- It is ground-breaking in terms of using a language which has been a taboo for Farsi literature
2- It is ground-breaking in terms of talking about a subject which always has been a taboo (even for men’s sexuality I don’t recall any example of a descriptive depiction of sexuality out of the context of ‘hajv’)( My dictionary is out of reach).
What I dislike about this story/writing:
1- I’m not a literary critic by any means, but this seems to me as too dry and mechanical , as if every other components of the story than the sexuality, are reduced to a redundant and useless matter. I assume It would be tasteless to talk about sexuality out of an emotional context particularly for women whom their sexuality less likely to emerge without a stronger emotional pretext .
2- I haven’t read all the previous writings from Parinaz, but for the few that I did I feel a bad sense towards men, even the ones whom the main character fell in ‘love’ with. They almost look like the “dastmale masraf shode” for sexual satisfaction of other party. They’re dumped.
3- premature ejaculation syndrome is treatable if that was the case. but if she really didn't like the guy, its a different story and why beat around the bush by sexual dissatisfaction excuse?
So what! time's change women are wanted same thing men wanted...
by Babe from West (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 09:08 AM PSTUsually can be life style changed but depend on us;
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZTa4CwDxfk
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZogOjKdV7Y
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHQG-ykxdD4
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ual8Hbuk92Y
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkqRbeUdmg0
Is it just me?!!
by Anonymous Observer on Thu Feb 26, 2009 09:01 AM PSTI don't know...but somehow reading porn in Farsi feels wrong...
Parinaz story is more than
by Anonymous<<>> (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 07:17 AM PSTParinaz story is more than common either in USA or in Iran.
Most Iranian men who marry young girls should know that their wives desire someone their own age and equally attractive as their sexual partner. Those young girls who were auctioned off to older men with money will never find out their womanhood until after their first marriage or through having an affair.
An 18 year old girl's libido is equal to an 18 year old not a 35 year old, less-than attractive fart.
It happens all the time whether we like or not.
archaic virginiy culture
by 69 (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 07:11 AM PSTActually I consider myself loyal, decent, with family values. It is unnatural, and quite unfair to impose virginity on girls. If prior to my first marriage, I was involved with a boyfriend, then perhaps I had a better idea of carefully, and more knowledgebaly choosing someone, and decreasing the chances of a failed marriage. I am not just talking about sex, it is the whole relationship package. The mental cheating was temporary, and it lost it novelty after a while, and with my sexual frustations, along with other issues, I had to get out.
I betrayed!!!
by Argaith (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 06:15 AM PSTI would like to congratulate to Parinaz for this work. Either this is a short story based on a real experience or only a piece of writing (perhaps based on fantacies), I admire her bravery as a woman who talks about women feelings so openly.
I am a man and I must admit that a lot us men don't know any thing about mutual pleasure during sex. I have come across a lot of women who seemed to hate sex mainly due to the experiences of other women who have not enjoyed it all.
As for us Iranians lot, I think our very traditional culture and the influence of religion have a great role in this, especially when it comes to a matter like this.
I wish Parinaz all the best and hope to read more of her work.
Argaith
Pleeeaase, keep backward eastern morality to yourselve(s).
by D- (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 05:53 AM PSTJavadagha you preach your morality, I preach mine. You find your followings and I'll find mine. Don't ask what you don't want others to ask of you.
As an Iranian-American of course I value western morality and want to preach it to Iranians (and Americans). Same way I preach my eastern morality to both Iranians and Americans.
Not that Iranians (inside and outside Iran) really need me though. In Iran you can go and see for yourself or read tons of articles about young and old Iranians who are so western oriented and like all things western. All the rantings and sermons of Ahmadinejad and company has not been able to put a dent in it.
One of the western moralities is to tell you to; you do what you do and I do what I do. Some versions of eastern moralities, such as the backwards one which you refer to, like to tell others what to do despite what they do themselves. That I do not preach.
We have sunk so low
by Arash78 (not verified) on Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:22 AM PSTJavadagha is right. I am also sick and tired of all this promotion of immorality by the name of liberation, emancipation, modernity...etc
Look how low we have sunk. We have reached a point where an Iranian woman, perhaps a mother, writes a garbage like this, filled with vulgarity and obscenity in a public forum and we applaud her for her courage and for "liberating" us from our "morals" and "values"!!
Then there are other women in this forum boasting about fantasizing about other men while sleeping with their husband and proudly stating that they divorced their spouse because sex was "boring"!!What happened to family values, loyalty, decency, shame?!!!!!
We have turned into a nation with no substance, no character, no identity, no values. Just a bunch of cheap imitations of others. So weak and yet so pretentious.
Pleeeaase, keep western morality to yourselve(s).
by Javadagha on Wed Feb 25, 2009 09:33 PM PSTAri jaan; thanks for your search/comment. When I was a researcher, we used to have fun proving or disproving many theories. We have learned most of what we know or technological advancements from the behavior of the creatures which you mentioned.
I am enjoying living in backward countries where morality is not about sleeping around or fantasizing as if there is nothing more important than sex. Please do not judge backward countries by extreme examples or viewing Fox channel, I lived in the West, so pleeeaaase, keep western morality to yourselves.
Javad
Javadagha, careful using nature as moral guide
by Ari Siletz on Wed Feb 25, 2009 09:07 PM PSTHere's the full article. Since DNA tests became cheap a few years ago, there's been lot's of data busting supposedly monogamous critters.
mental cheating
by 69 (not verified) on Wed Feb 25, 2009 09:04 PM PSTWhen I was first married, I used to fatasize about other men, while sleeping with my hubby. I eventually got divorced, because sexually he bored me, but I never actually cheated on him, or even flirted with anyone. Next time around getting married, I knew what I wanted, and have not mentally cheated on my 2nd hubby. Looking back, I feel fine with it. I was a virgin when I got married first, and never experienced relationship with anyone, or knew what I wanted. I think only backward cultures demand virginity, it is like their world revolves around a tiny tissue, no wonder ALL those countries are so backwards.
Even animals have decency . . .
by Javadagha on Wed Feb 25, 2009 08:06 PM PSTI did not read the entire article, but enough to say that it did not come across as original. My thinking is that this type of behavior is not normal. By cheating, the guilt will outweigh the joy (if the person has an iota of conscious). There are young people who might read this sort of articles; JJ should consider, some sort of access for articles which promotes promiscuity.
Yes to talk about it, try to solve it, or get the hell out of relationship without ruining the value of human decency. Even animals act better.
A true story:
When we were kids (7-8 years old), we used to have many creatures in our complex or our neighborhood in Sari. Two pigeons were in love and always together. This went on for 5 years (a long time for pigeons). A neighborhood kid was wondering why the female never laid any eggs to have young pigeons. So in his mind he came up with a solution. He went and stole an egg from another nest and placed it in the nest of loving birds. The female sat on it for a couple of hours, but when the male pigeon saw the egg, he flew away . . . never be seen again … even animals have decency.
.
by Flying Solo on Mon Sep 28, 2009 09:20 AM PDT.
Take a break :o)
by Jahanshah Javid on Wed Feb 25, 2009 07:25 PM PSTSolo, my turn to cry "ouch"
by Ari Siletz on Wed Feb 25, 2009 07:16 PM PSTD
by Majid on Wed Feb 25, 2009 07:03 PM PSTDo you ALWAS read comments this carefully before you fly off the handle? or is it a chip on your shoulder?
Anon. fish says:
"my husband himself said that sometimes he doesn't read the whole article but just the comments."
And....your careful interpretion:
"Anonymous Fish: I suppose if your husband told you to do it this way, it must be OK!"
I hope you understand the difference.
O Captain my captain and Azad
by TheMrs on Wed Feb 25, 2009 05:47 PM PSTI wasn't talking about liberation and I wasn't even talking about cheating. I think I didn't express myself adequately, so here is the second try.
This is an erotic peice. Whether it's well written or not, fact or fiction, by a man or woman are all secondary points.
My comment was that I don't understand why erotic material from the point of view of an iranian woman seems to be mostly fom a negative view.
Why can't there be an erotic story or one about physical relationships where the woman isn't a victim? I named the few I've read here before, there's always something wrong with these woman. Can't we have a normal woman in an erotic peice.
To Fariba09
by Azad99 (not verified) on Wed Feb 25, 2009 05:34 PM PSTYou said: "And, every time that i got turned on by a man, i was reminded of my womanness; and in turn, that has helped me to approach my hubby with a more confident view; which has led to better communication, and therefore better sex!"
What you're saying is extremely insulting and humiliating to your husband. You would never accept a similar reasoning by your husband if he stated that he goes to strip clubs or fantasizes about young girls to "communicate" better with you! What's wrong with you Iranian women?!!! Lust is lust and to fantasize about other people when you're married, is destructive and dishonorable. If you can not control it, at least don't sugarcoat it as something good and positive.
D
by anonymous fish on Wed Feb 25, 2009 04:48 PM PSTmy husband doesn't TELL me to do anything. i simply stated that he doesn't always read the whole article. it's not justifying anything. why would that preclude you from answering MY questions.
again, why the hostility?
why does where i come from matter? i'm american if that's what you're asking. what does that have to do with anything?
Solo Jan
by capt_ayhab on Wed Feb 25, 2009 04:44 PM PSTAlthough you told us all to shut up, But I have to hand to you. You nailed the issue.
Perfectly put. I tell you one thing, we would be reading the same story even IF she was happy with her marriage.
because the key is NOT to giving in into the temptation.
-YT
All Due Respect
by capt_ayhab on Wed Feb 25, 2009 04:33 PM PSTFor all of you ladies and gentlemen who see this story as story of a woman in pursuit of self exploration and liberation I have only one thing to say.
One does not liberate her/himself by sleeping with another MARRIED person. One liberates him/herself by coming in terms with ones sexuality, desires and wants.
TheMrs.
This thing has nothing to do with generational gap[bullcrap]. If the writer want to use sensationalism[kos, kon kir, wet dry etc etc] to attract attention to poorly written LUST story fine with me. But do not sit there and analyze the crap out a half-ass porn story and call it LIBERATION of oppressed Iranian women.
Agha jan........... Cheating on your spouse is the most inhumane [najavan mardaneh] act that a person could ever possibly do to his/her partner. The trauma that this act leaves on the cheated never, ever, under no circumstance goes away.
Lets just read the poorly written porn story and have fun with it. If not, before you know it, someone somehow is going to link this [bokon bokon] to IR and Islam ;-)
-YT
Anonymous Fish: I suppose if
by D (not verified) on Wed Feb 25, 2009 04:32 PM PSTAnonymous Fish: I suppose if your husband told you to do it this way, it must be OK! So, I won't need to answer your questions from the other comment.
And you said you are from where, again?!