Capt Ayhab

Kaveh strikes again

ناتاليا

"So I will ask you one more

"So I will ask you one more time to refrain from childish remarks and belligerent attitudes you have been demostrating."

Screw you. Is that "belligerant" enough for you?

"Ina dige kian???"

Ina mesl shoma tokh-mo tarakay-e Qajar nistan.

Derakhshandeh

You were asked nicely to stay with the subject. It is utter stupidity to distract the subject and disrespect rest of the ladies and gentlemen.

If you do not like the subject matter, or you have problem with the opinions of the ladies and gentlemen of the commentators, there are plenty of threads that will suite your childish and unprofessional attitude.

I am not here to personally get involved with arrogant and ignorant people who like to think of themselves as [know it all]. So I will ask you one more time to refrain from childish remarks and belligerent attitudes you have been demostrating.

Do we understand each other?

Ina dige kian???

-YT

Grammar and spelling critique?

Who called me?  :-)

Derakhshandeh

surely you're not inviting a grammar and spelling critique...:-)))

Sexual Harrassment in US is not as bad as 20 years ago

Anonymous fish is correct where she says that sexual harrassment is not as bad as 20-30 years ago.  I do not know about 30 years ago but I believe after the confirmation hearing for Clarence Thomas and as result of Anita Hill allegations in 1991, sexual harrassmnet got much needed attention.  After that, gradually situation has improved for working women.  The problem still exists but the situation has improved immensely compared to 1980s and before then.  Some readers in this thread have rightly commented that not  every interest in a coworker is harrassment.

Belligerant? Little one? Is

Belligerant? Little one? Is that you normal day to day standard operating procedure? Try it on those who care.

PS it is manners, not manors.

of course it isn't good.

i'm just saying that it's not like life and death. i think it's wrong but i equally think it's been abused.  and i mean from the accusation side.  do you really think women don't use it to their advantage?  you know they do.  it's obvious sexual harassment isn't nearly as big a problem as it was 20-30 years ago. 

Derakhshandeh

Don't get belligerent now little one,and watch your manors.

-YT

Harrasment does not equal a

Harrasment does not equal a one-time proposition. Continue to proposition after being told no becomes harrasment and harrasment isn't good.

Derakhshandeh

i think you're overreacting somewhat.  captain isn't asking how you feel about rape.  there would be several reactions to sexual harassment.  i personally would have a very mild response.  maybe a tad bit of flattery and then you make it clear you're not interested.  all sexual harassment is NOT about advancement.  sometimes it's just an attaction to a co-worker.  it becomes harassment when it's pursued past your comfort level.  my comfort level might be different than yours.  if my boss were to pursue inappropriate sexual advance, i would, again, be pretty calm about making MY position clear.  some people would go calling an attorney immediately.  so his question really isn't out of line. 

captain.  as far as legalizing prostitution, i can't imagine it ever happening.  at least not in our lifetime.  probably for the same reasons as legalizing weed.  but i think it's a subject worth discussing.

anon77.  that is a SERI ASS negative approach to marriage.  lol

Marriage as legalized prostitution?

Anonymous 77, don't you think that it is a little too far fetched?

How do you arrive at such a conclusion? I am really interested to hear this explanation.

Capitan why are you trying

Capitan why are you trying so hard to be hard-headed? Haa? Your question to women is just silly, it is like asking what do you feel if I kick you in the shin? What do you feel if I stick a pencil in your ear? What do you feel if I put your hair on fire? Get it? Or you want to go on?

I suppose you want to go on but the more you go on the sillier it gets and the further you go. Perhaps working in a fashion industry has gotten into your head and you think others are fashionable too. But you go on. You lost credibility with me in this blog, regardless of whatever else you've said or may say.

Q!

Q!  is that a sense of humor i see?  albeit misguided of course and a wee bit sarcastic... but i actually chuckled!  damet garm.

a brief side trip off the subject since you brought up my favorite subject!  my best friend works in the endowment office of duke and her husband is tenured at NCS.  oh, we can get duke home football tickets front and center every time, but a ticket to Cameron indoor?  NOT. the only time i get to see duke is at clemson and the last time i did was in 1992, the year they went back-to-back... laettner, hurley (my hero),  grant hill, davis and the upcoming parks.  it was the COOLEST!

more on harassment later.  damn the tarheels.

Legalized Prostitution

I have noticed that issue of legalization or decriminalization of prostitution has been brought up by some of the ladies and gentlemen of the readers. Allow me to fuel the issue by presenting both sides of the argument for further discussion. Although the issue by itself might need a blog of its own:

Opponent of Legalization or decriminalization of prostitution argue that:

1. Legalization/decriminalization of prostitution is a gift to pimps, traffickers and the sex industry.
2. It promotes sex trafficking.
3. It does not control the sex industry.It expands it.
4. It increases clandestine, hidden, illegal and street prostitution.
5. It increases child prostitution.
6. It does not protect the women in prostitution.
7. It increases the demand for prostitution.
8. It boosts the motivation of men to buy women for sex in a much wider and more permissible range of socially acceptable settings.
9. It does not promote women's health.
10. It does not enhance women's choice.
Women in systems of Prostitution do not want the sex industry legalized or decriminalized.
Proponent of legalization or decriminalization on the other hand argue that would not necessarily increase sex trafficking? 
"By their logic, the state of Nevada should be awash in foreign sex slaves, leading one to wonder what steps the Justice Department is taking to free them," writer David Feingold noted dryly in Foreign Policy in 2005. Countries in which prostitution is legal—Australia, Germany,
the Netherlands—aren't cesspools. On the other hand, they haven't seen the demand for prostitution drop off, either, and sometimes it rises.

In 1999, Sweden made it legal to sell sex but illegal to buy it—only the johns and the traffickers can be prosecuted. This is the only
approach to prostitution that's based on "sex equality," argues University of Michigan law professor Catharine MacKinnon. It treats prostitution as a social evil but views the women who do it as the victims of sexual exploitation who "should not be victimized again by the state by being made into criminals," as MacKinnon put it to me in an e-mail. It's the men who use the women, she continued, who are "sexual predators" and should be punished as such.

Martha Nussbaum, a law and philosophy professor at the University of Chicago, argues that lots of work involves the sale of bodily services and that lots of the work that poor women do involves bad working conditions. For her, it's all about context—there's a big difference between a street worker controlled by a pimp and a high-end call girl who picks her own clients, and the real question is how to increase poor women's access to decent and safe work in general. Legalizing
prostitution she argues that "is likely to make things a little better for women who
have too few options to begin with,"

Source: //www.slate.com/id/2186243

-YT

Derakhshandeh

I am assuming you are a woman, since you presume only women are harassed in the job place, am I correct?

What if the person being harassed is a man?

Although I might say that some men might take this harassment issue as a sign of flattering, but I can assure you not all the men do feel that way. I personally have not had such an experience so that is why i presented the question to all.

Does it still sound silly to you?

-YT

Ari

[In the particular case of your question my tendency would be to resist calling someone a prostitute until the act is proved to be endemic and damaging to society as a whole. To start calling business sex a form of
prostitution, I place the burdern of proof on the collective by asking, "Is there really an social emergency here?"]

To begin with my intentions has not been labeling these kind of acts as prostitution per se, rather delve into its social implications.

As a working person we spend 1/3 of our daily life in work place. We work to live and not to live to work. Asides form the fact that romantic relationships can and does occur between the co-workers, but not every man or woman goes to workplace in pursuit of sex and romance. 

Hard and honest work should produce monetary and social rewards, IF the game is played fairly.  It is fairness of the game that is in question here. For someone to find it necessary to to [sleep his/her] way to the top takes the fairness away from they other players, i.e. single mothers, honorable young ladies/men who have just joined the GAME in the hope of fair advancement and fair compensation.

If in an environment[company] this opportunity is not give to every worker, so they can demonstrate their full ability and ingenuity in work place, the whole economy and society as a whole suffers.

Society suffers by allowing unqualified but pretty and sexy people to advance, yet the homely and average looking, but brilliant people left behind.

If one can not call this a social emergency, then what qualifies as one?

Regards

-YT

remember

"marriage is legalised prostitution."

When in Rome do as the Romans do?

I'm sure many have heard of this concept. In my business ethics class in university, we discussed how U.S. businesses conducting business abroad would do what was necessary to be competitive.

Many in the class said it was unethical and they would never do such a thing. Well, we had a major project to do in teams. My team decided to incorporate this concept into our game.

Well, let me tell you they not only took the bribes but offered some of their own. At the conclusion of the game, I pointed out how easily it was to fall for this unethical behavior. They were stunned to realize how easily it was to fall.

They even offered sexual favors in return for a competitive edge. (Of course it was only a game in a classroom but it sure makes one think about the HUMAN CONDITION).

Fishi Jun

[but i have to ask this... captain, if it's your take that these flirtations, late night dinner/drinks, etc. are a form of
prostitution... what about the "guy's only" saturday afternoon golf game ... or the 50 yard line tickets to the clemson-carolina game?  is that not prostitution or bribery as well?  is it only because a woman
is offering a "physical" form of enticement that makes it prostitution? ]

This is an interesting point, and being perfectly honest I hadn't thought of that in this context.

FYI, which I am certain that you know this already, many companies REQUIRE employees particularly the buyers to report any and all GIFTS, monetary or otherwise[i.e. football tickets, day at golf course, etc.] if it is over a certain $ amount. 

These types rather may fall into the category of bribe[under the table] compensation. Philosophy behind it is that they do want to have fair bidding in any purchase. This also applies to government agencies. Prime example is the Ted Stevens guy from Alaska and Rod Blagojevich guy.

Bribery falls under different ethical issues for which I am going to present a dilemma little later on this blog. You shall find it interesting.

-YT

Natalia

  You misread my comment:"More open societies such as Northen European countrieshave less of such problems than societies that are legally less open about sex including USA and Iran!"

I did NOT say" " U.S. is not more sexually open than Iran?" 

Nor did not compare the two countries at all but said the specific problem exists in both of them. There is a big difference between what I said and what you presumed.

cheers 

Yes, MiNeum71

You have made it clear that you believe the way things are done in the U.S. are absurd and don't measure up to the European way of life.

Lucky that you don't live in the U.S,

:o)

Dear "capt_ayhab",

I would also say that prostituation is in the eye of the beholder. And, isn´t the whole life a kind of prostitution?  ;)

Persian Westender

Thank you for your kind words. If my speaking of my ordeal helps but one individual then it was worth sharing.

To be honest, I have never shared this with anyone before. My family does not know of this.

Natalia

I only would like to express my admiration and respect to you for talking about your personal experiences on sexual harassment when you were asked by the blogger(and i hope its not ignored by him and others). It could be such a sensitive topic and to do this in public with a real name, definitely takes a great deal of courage and open-mindedness.

David ET

You really think that the U.S. is not more sexually open than Iran?

In the U.S. people do have sex outside marriage without being punished by the government.

Actually, some married people do have affairs without being punished by the U.S. government which would be punishable by death in Iran.

I'm confused on this part of your comment.

Clarifications

  Just to avoid misunderstanding

- I am not calling a person who is providing sexual favor for promotion or other gains a professional proostitute but the act of exchanging sex for vlaue is similar and also depends on what our definition of the word is.

- By suggesting legalizing prostitution I am not condoing or promoting it but verifying the fact that it exists and making it illegal does not change anything as it never has but actually increases the dangers and abuse to women and society. The correct approach is economic and job improvements and education of individuals and families . In fact same logic goes with legalizing marijuana.. 

My Take

- When two consenting adults voluntarily for any reason (promotion included) engage in flirtation or sex, that is NOT sexual harassment. 

- The offer of sex for promotion is not limited to the ones in higher positions but also by those who seek to gain promotion so one can not point finger at one and not the other when its consentual.

- Is it wrong or unethical to promote one , or attempt to be promoted at the cost of sacrificing the chance of someone who is truly qualified? Yes.

- Is the act of providing some sort of sexual favor in return for a monetary value or power or job similar to prostitution? Yes, except that one is open about it and other is not.

As I said before this does not only limit to work force but to many other aspects of society including relationships.

More open societies such as Northen European countrieshave less of such problems than societies that are legally less open about sex including USA and Iran!

In fact legalizing prostitution and removing the legal taboo from this oldest profession will help reduce such behaviors which are partially due to sexual tensions! This is probably another subject for another time and another place.

Marge has a point that this has been the case for thousands of years and still goes on but in different ways and somewhat more discrete. We just label them and judge them somewhat differently. 

Capitan you asked "what did

Capitan you asked "what did you feel about it?" What do you think someone feels whe s/he is harrassed? Bad? Good? No one feels good for being "harrased". That is what I mean by silly.

I knew it was only matter of time.........

 My money is on the Irish

:o)

ناتاليا