Somebody, please adopt me...

I'm tired of the smell of bull shit that surrounds me wrapped in politics


Somebody, please adopt me...
by hamidbak

I am a citizen of two countries. Or is it "I am citizens of two countries?" Never the less, in one hand I hold the passport of United States of America, in another Islamic Republic of Iran. Well, they're not in my hands actually; they're in a file cabinet.

I have two countries, two citizenships, and yessssss, two leaders. Holly shit I have two leaders. One says, in a public forum, in front of faculty and students of one of the most prestigious universities in the US, if not the world, "we don't have homosexuality in Iran like you do here in America". Did he not sit next to anyone peculiar in the bus in Iran? Was there no one in his school with extra wrist and hand motions while talking?

According to Mahmood joon, we're a country filled with "macho" men, where no man has ever thought about the touch of another man. He went on saying that women are respected and loved beyond our imagination in America, where the question was about women rights in Iran and not the level of respect.

Hold on George, I'm getting to you in a minute. Ahmadinejad defended the rights of Palestanians and the atrocities against them in the past 60 years and Iran's right to have nuclear energy. Neither, which I disagree with, totally not to mention how difficult it is not to disagree with him.

My other choice is US and it's highly intelligent president, George W. He's the one that just the other day said, "Nelson Mandela is dead". He also said in the same speech that the Iraqi people asked our help for democracy and freedom. They did? Maybe your Arabic translator didn't get the message across correctly; in fact there was no message.

Who writes the speeches for these brilliant men of history? †How can they come to the podium, rehearsed or unrehearsed, and say the crap they do?

Stuck between the two highly intelligent and brilliant speeches in the past few days from both of my "presidents", I couldn't help but thinking am I stupid? Are they stupid or do they think that we are all stupid?

The answer was none of the above. I know I'm not stupid, jury still out on Mahmood and W, dumb and dumber, and I'm sure they don't think we're all dumb. What the hell is it then?

Why are they saying what they are saying? Country of 70million, 85% educated, according to National Geographic research, Iran has no one checking this guy's speech? No one tells him, hey "yaboo" you can't get up on the world stage and say that the Holocaust did not happen. You cannot claim that homosexuality does not exist in Iran.

And, Georgie babe, don't go claiming that people like Nelson Mandela are dead. Axis of Evil means an alliance of two or more nations to coordinate their foreign and military policies. It is not the pleural form of an ax as in a tool to cut a tree.

So people, countries of the world, could I please have a different nationality? May I please have a third passport so I won't be embarrassed by what my countries are doing and what my leaders are saying?

Maybe Tibet, they're not in the news. Perhaps Egypt, so when I show my passport or tell people where I'm from, they'll ahh and ooohhhh and relate me to the Pyramids or the Nile instead of terrorism and bullism. Any takers?

I don't know what to do. All I know is that I don't want to listen to the news any more, not even NPR. I'm tired of the smell of bull shit that surrounds me wrapped in politics. I don't understand this big game they're playing, and sure don't know how it's played. All I know is that I bet on it and I'm losing.

It's as if someone sits up there and tells leaders to say specific things to piss the other nation(s) off and tells this other guy to add more flame to the fire by dishing out lies and crap. It seems all surreal.

Maybe Norway, now that's a quite country and no one gives her citizens a look at any airport.


Recently by hamidbakCommentsDate
افسانه من
Aug 18, 2012
Worker lost
Mar 30, 2012
ریحان بنفش
Aug 11, 2010
more from hamidbak

Mexico vs Canada

by Sasha (not verified) on

Mexico and Canada are closer to adopt you. However, I am tired of the bull from the Mexican political system myself. All countries have issues. I agree with Donyazdi in that we need to take responsibility. We need to have our voices heard in the US political system. Leaders can be put into place and taken out of their positions by the people they govern.



by jacklyn (not verified) on




by hamidbak on

I actually do have a cat, William and do sift through it's turd every day. At least evey day until my wife gets back from her trip!!

I must say that except the stink, they are very different. I know what the cat eats and know what his turd is like, how much it is, and pretty much what I'm gonna find. Politics, I don't know what kind of shit I'm going to deal with. All I know is that it is "shit", as I mentioned, it smells like bull shit and looks like bull shit, it's got to be it.

Thanks for reading


No director no good movie

by Kamangir on

To understand what's going on in Iran and what will happen from now on we should accept and understand a reality. That reality we call 'revolution' that took place in 1979. But those who really made it happen, those who brought the nasty islamists to power in Iran. do not regard the own job as a revolution (obviouly!!) Only when we really see the international conspiracies that shape the world we can clearlr start seeing the hidden hand behind the events. Things started to become noisy, when the product the hidden powers once implemented in iran, simply expired. From that moment on, they were left on their own, nobody told how to behave or what to do and then they (the arabo muslim mafia in iran) started acting on its own and the result: well you and everyone else on the planet can see it now, by looking at ahmadinejad and others in Iran. They are not Arabs, they not Persian eitherm so what are they? They seem to be an artificial temporary patch, product or item, too worn out to perform properly and their masters and owners have decided to replace the entire item as opposed to the ussual 'temporary patch'



american grammatical expert:unusual rhetoric and cat turds

by william warden (not verified) on

sifting through political jargon can be a lot like scooping cat turds, huh? seems as though whenever our country makes a stink about 'terrorism' or about, well...any other nation there is always alteriar motives. as far as not making headlines and keeping your head in the sand to avoid the glare of global economics, you simply can't avoid all the cat turds. i think we put iran in a media spotlight because we like to fuss'n fued whenever we don't get our way or don't understand something. which means that you don't need anything from us, and we can't directly make a killing(lot of money) off of iran and it is unsettling for our leaders and their agenda. and in america, the media spotlight has blinded us all,so now all we see are blotches of bright colors set against pitch 'real' light at the end of this tunnel. we simply don't see the globe glare and the U.S. with balt dismay. though we still smell our own cat turds...ok, i guess i just rambled myself out of energy. hello from Alaska!


Taking Responsibility

by donyazdi on

I understand your frustration, and many of us do feel it. But the proper response is not shirking your identity and running away. We should take responsibility for the political future(s) of our twin societies. Why? Because our access to both the Iranian and American cultures makes us uniquely situated to play a constuctive role in imporving US-Iran relations, standing up to American foreign policy, and fighting to improve Human Rights in Iran. We can make a positive difference, which means we should.


Besides, being an Iranian + American isn't all political. It's about our culture, our values and our sense of history. I feel proud to sing the poetry of Hafez, Rumi, and Etessami in one instant...and celebrate the works of Frost, Poe, and Dickinson in the next. I am proud to count both Mossadegh and Jefferson as a part of my political heritage. And the list goes on...

Yet I also feel a sence of responsibility to my family and country both here in America and back home in Iran.  We should view the Iranian-American impass as a challenge to be met, not a nuisance to be avoided.



Haven't we all begun to feel that way?

by Beaux510 (not verified) on

It's an old cliche, but it's an apt one when identifying the relationship between the government and the governed: "The citizenry are like mushrooms, feed them shit and keep them in the dark".

I recently questioned a very close acquaintance about this very same subject. He's a person with an intimate knowledge of the inner workings and reality of the US administration and the workings of world governments in general. I asked how and even if we will ever get to a place where there is at least the appearance of peace and cooperation in the general international community, his answer was a very solid "no, it's not good for business". Not for the US, Iran, The UK or whoever. That sadly, chaos, war and enmity were the fuel that keeps the world's governments in business and they will do or say anything to keep the status quo, no matter how seemingly ridiculous, ill-conceived or even "evil".

At 40, I hate feeling naive because I consider myself a learned realist and pragmatist, but I felt it then and have had a hard time shaking it even a month later.

It's not that they consider all of us stupid, they just consider a large enough percentage of us stupid enough to buy whatever they're selling and provide the smokescreen for their true motives which of course is profit and the propagation of their power.



by Shoobie (not verified) on

I'm not exactly sure if there was a point to your writing & in some parts, perhaps because of poor grammar, i had trouble understanding what you were trying to say. Nonetheless, just like you, i am SICK and tired of hearing about Ahmadinejad and Bush. Even worse, im sick and tired of people arguing and so-called debating over it all. How dull. All these opinions dont change what is happening in the world, and dont do anything other than generate more words and comments from people who also just want to bitch and moan. Discussing politics and having a proper debate is completely normal, but writing stupid comments about what is happening in politics is just annoying, and a total dilution of all the GOOD and INTERESTING things that actually has to offer!


Amen brother, Amen. Most of

by shovenist pig but (not verified) on

Amen brother, Amen. Most of us feel the same.