Polygamy; Iranian Style - in North America

by Sophie

I just got off the phone. It has happened again! It's not new anymore and I am not surprised! She dumped him since she decided she doesn't want to share him with another woman! Tough decision though as she likes him very much!It seems like a trend these days: Iranian men have lost their place, they don't have the role of a provider anymore, they don't have the power of a family man. They have lost their place in the society! Iranian men are confused! Those with money have found a way out: polygamy - Iranian Style! They make women confused on what they really want from them. I assume they try to be nice! But they have learned there are things to obtain out of this chaos! They can have two, three, four women to "hang out" with! Normally one is used as the most formal and the rest for different occasions and different groups of friends. One as the main and others for "rooze mabaadaa"! Of course they don't live with any of them to keep their space for all those divorcees, widows, or even still married who are looking for a rush! These guys have both "khodaa" and "khormaa", the new and the old, the good and the bad, the sophisticated and the trash! Is it the "insecurity" or just a good "eshtehaa"? Desperate women accept this phenomenon; Those more radical and proud, reject it all together! And I am confused what the answer is for those who suffer the consequences. How is it going to change the future for our kids? And is there anything we can do?



Recently by SophieCommentsDate
She doubts!
Sep 17, 2007
Sep 01, 2007
more from Sophie

Good men are married or are

by relax1 (not verified) on

Good men are married or are gays! Those available out there, or those who don't want to get married, are looking for more! especially if they have money. the poor ones are good until they are poor!


What kind of loser women

by khashmgin1 on

What kind of loser women are you anyway? It seems that all of you were either so desperate or had such bad taste and poor sense of judgement about men, that you all ended up with a bunch of guys worst than yourselves.


Go get a life. There are many good Iranian men out there. Lucky for them they didn't ended up with losers like you.


I may not have self-respect

by Atash (not verified) on

I may not have self-respect but at least I don't suffer by having my man cheating on me. I destroy him if I find out. It's better for him to behave or he has to accept the result.
I leash my man in a good way: I make him busy by planning parties and traveling or camping. Anything that keeps him away from me or close to other women.
If he strays, I sray too! This for that!


I admire your perspective of

by Reza21 (not verified) on

I admire your perspective of life, and where all our crap is going,,,wish there were five people like you around


NAA ba ba

by Pilot (not verified) on

Iranian men is a complete generalization which no one should make. Stereotypes have some truth however they do not apply to all.

You simply have to admit that many women irroooni or not are not necessarily the smartest of the bunch when it comes to making decsions about a partner. However many irooni women if they are highly attractive are simply looking for money. They are in essence high class prostitues. Doctors, lawyers or engineers are the ony type of men they will date and or pursue, this in itself is a huge ethical flaw in any rational person's mind.
I can only speak for my self however, I have found that many Canadian women I have met simply want me for me, for my personality and looks and sex not because of my standard of living.

There is no logic or reason when it comes to issues of Sexuality.


If man astrays, you

by calyx (not verified) on

If man astrays, you shouldn't want him in the first place. He is not worthy of you if you have any self-respect. Iranian men are mostly fixated on their adolescent and some are highly insecure and narcissitic and would not understand what having a meaningful and loving relationship means if it looked them straight in the face. They are mostly incapable of loving others because they are so much in love with themselves. It is actually Iranian mothers fault for raising their sons to become self-centered and self-obsorbed.

No self-respecting woman will ever put up with that kind of a man.


Sit! Roll over, now!

by Mark on

I have my man on the leash and he is behaving well.<<


Have you had him neutered too? How 'bout his shots? Are they up-to-date? Seems like he's already signed up for perpetual obedience school. Good boy.


we women must leash our men

by Atash (not verified) on

we women must leash our men and keep them busy enough not to get distracted by other women. If they have enough money and free time, they go astray.
I have my man on the leash and he is behaving well. It's a lot of time and effort from my side but for the sake of keeping him, I do whatever possible. It is my role. Don't complain it on others if your man strays. It's your fault.


I honestly believe that most

by Girl Next Door (not verified) on

I honestly believe that most of the Iranian guys are extremely insecure. They have self-confidence issues. Being with different women makes them feel good about themselves. So unless they work on their insecurities, this situation will not get any better.


It will only get worse

by 3-cents (not verified) on

During sixties and early seventies, the American Association of Psychiatrists had officially described homosexuality as a "serious disorder" which needs treatment in hospital. Today, we have openly gay priests. It is cool to be gay. Just in 30 years.

In mid-eighties, British parliament voted against a proposal to legalise sex between fathers and their own daughters. Sick, you may lament. You bet, given enough time, one day this law will also pass.

A friend of mine once showed me a porn maganize from 50s and I thought he was joking. The cover page of the average gossip/fashion magazine today is far more exotic.

Many of our mothers and fathers married via formal "Khastegari", which is looked upon as backward today, widely without any previous sexual experience, and still managed to build successful and well-functioning families. Many of these parents were highly educated and productive individuals.

Once upon a time, "dress" was something that could supposedly cover, at least partially, the bodies. Look at today "modern" dress. Half of girls underwear must be exposed from their low-cut jeans, otherwise it is not cool.

Men, Iranian or otherwise, have lost their place. Women, Iranian or otherwise, have lost their place even more. Children have lost their place even more. The whole society has lost its place. The whole family has lost its place.

Once upon a time, it was a viture to stay virgin to marry. Today, it is backward. Waiting is out, condom is in. Let's be cool. Children should be free to experiment. Islam/Christianity/Judaism are oppressive. These children are men and women of tomorrow, we often forget.

Men are exposed, on a daily basis, to Brad Pitt and horizontal hanky-panky. Women are exposed, on a daily basis, to desperate housewives, Angelina Jolie, and feminism.

Men want sex, but not commitment. They want to have a family, but not responsibility.

Women want a good provider, but they also want to be the boss. They want to have a family, but also to be free to explore the world and themselves.

We are in a self-destructive path, and all the troubles we see, is merely the tip of the iceberg.