She's not dead

She's not dead
by Jahanshah Javid

She's dead? She's not dead.


I'm trying to understand the death of a very dear friend. Maryam Afshar. She lived in Puerto Rico with her young son Darius -- and a pack of adopted dogs. She was the yearbook editor at a local school. We became email friends several years ago when she was battling breast cancer. She won that battle. But earlier this year doctors discovered tumors in her brain. She didn't show any fear. She was always hopeful and full of life.


After undergoing radiation:

from: Maryam Afshar <>
to: Jahanshah Javid
date: Sun, Mar 28, 2010 at 5:56 PM

Yesterday my hair started falling off. I mean falling off! This morning (thanks to my friend who had warned me about it) I'd say half of it was a goner in the shower! It was really freaky! I had planned a nice brunch out, so I put my baseball cap on and had a delightful brunch with a bottle of Veuve-Cliquot, came home, had more visitors, and kept brooming my floor! When everyone left, I sent Darius to his Dad's house the last two days, and called my neighbour who has one of those machines to come and shave my head :) I got tired of brooming it off the floor and it was putting me in a bad mood.

I look weird :)



Last words:

from: Maryam Afshar <>
to: Jahanshah Javid
date: Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 5:44 AM
subject Re: Hey you

Salam JJ,

Finally I have time to breathe a little and relax. My yearbook was finished on time even though I've started a very aggressive chemo treatment. Knocks me out for days...


Today a mutual friend emailed to say Maryam had died. I don't understand. What does that mean?


I never met Maryam. I never heard her voice. Yet I felt she was one of my closest and dearest friends. I will always cherish memories of her kindness, wisdom and humanity.

She's not dead.


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lost without maryam

by kfravon on

...I'm another admirer of Maryam who never met her.

I did meet her virtually through Vafa Animal Shelter, as she adopted one of the 3-legged residents of Vafa, named Golpar.

We just posted the announcement on Vafa Shelter website:

For those of you who asked, here's the information on the Memorial Service being held this coming Sunday July 18th at 4pm:


Funeraria Del Angel
Intersection Trujillo Alto Expresso/Rd. 181
San uan,
Puerto Rico

In lieu of flowers contributions may be sent to a
charity of choice or VAFA Animal Shelter thru //
Choose send
money option, and enter:
as recipient and
enter amount.

R.I.P Maryam e Nazaneen.....



by rsaidi on

Maryam jan, thankyou.  Thankyou for introducing me to Nina Simone, thankyou for wearing red red lipstick all the time, thankyou for your devotion to creatures large and small, and thankyou for the spirit that made brought you to me and Arthur.  I think of you and miss you every time I look into our children's eyes.  You live.  Sepas gozar-am.


Maryam Afshar


My condolences to you and her family for her sudden death.  Your sadness shall go away knowing there are many here that care. 

Zan Amrikai

Stealing Life

by Zan Amrikai on

JJ, I hear you--your not having met her, but nevertheless realizing that she has a place in your heart and mind and exists as a dear friend.  And now, she is gone and you are reeling.

I am sorry your friend is gone.  May her son especially and those who loved her very much find courage and strength and peace and grace.  

Life is so short in certain ways; it is so imperative to get out living by loving. 

Masoud Kazemzadeh


by Masoud Kazemzadeh on

my condolences to her family and friends

my condolences to JJ for losing a friend



by Souri on

Sorry for your loss.

maziar 58


by maziar 58 on


next time I'm in Memhis,tn..........

P S:  jj are you related to her ?     Maziar


مرده آنست كه نامش به نكويى نبرند



Those who have made a difference in other people's lives will never die

Or as Sa'di said

سعدى يا مرد ِ نكونام نميرد هرگز
مرده آنست كه نامش به نكويى نبرند


My condolences to you and Maryam's family



My condolences

by divaneh on

Sorry to hear about your friend Maryam, but death is not always a bad thing. It is a relief when one suffers.

Azadeh Azad


by Azadeh Azad on

My condolences to Afshar family and you.


Nazy Kaviani

My condolences to Lily Afshar and her family

by Nazy Kaviani on

Ey daad o bidaad. I am so sorry for the loss of a woman who so obviously loved life and faced it with courage and humor. She will soon find her wings and turn into the angel that she will be from now on, watching over her son, Lily, and the rest of her family. That's what I think happens to good people who die. Jahanshah, I think she may even look after you and her Iran Zamin classmates.

bajenaghe naghi

JJ Jan

by bajenaghe naghi on

I am very sorry for your loss.  

May she rest in peace.  


My condolensces to her family and friends

by acopier101 on

May she rest in peace.


End of one cycle and start of another

by oktaby on

غم آخرت باشه




Didnt know she was Lily Afshar's (guitarist) sister

by Anonymouse on

My condolensces. 

Everything is sacred

Jahanshah Javid

From sister, Lily Afshar

by Jahanshah Javid on

To: Iranzamin Classes of 1977 & 1978:

It is with great sadness that I give you the news of my dear sister’s passing. Maryam Afshar, class of 1977 passed away this morning from an illness in Puerto Rico. I know Maryam had many friends at Iranzamin and that she will be greatly missed. May her happy and kind spirit live on with all her friends.

Lily Afshar

Link to Maryam's Profile page:

Link to Lily Afshar's Profile page:

The song below is dedicated to Maryam Afshar on behalf of Lily Afshar. Lily had indicated that this song has been very soothing for her and believes that it will also be soothing for her friends too.


Visit Classes of 1977 & 1978 at:

Red Wine


by Red Wine on

So sorry JJ jan, R I P .


Sorry JJJ

by Anonymouse on

May her good memory live on and one day they find a cure for cancer that has taken so many good people from their loved ones.  It makes people go through so many things that they've heard about but never prepared for.  They become symbols of perseverance and humility and leave behind lessons for everyone to learn and prepare for the day that they too may become affected.  

Everything is sacred

Darius Kadivar

Tasliat JJ Jaan ...

by Darius Kadivar on

So Sorry to hear this.

That is such a blow especially for a young child to lose a mother.

May Her Family and her Son Darius overcome their grief.

I hope this is not cliche or repetitive for It is the only song that comes to my mind eachtime I hear of someone's death or a family's grief. I read this poem at my own Father's Funeral ... So ...

In Tribute to Maryam and your Unique mutual Cyber Friendship ...





My condolences

by benross on

My condolences


Sorry for your loss,

by Monda on

Accepting Maryam's death is hard enough JJ jan, even if you two never actually met.

Flying Solo


by Flying Solo on