Who Says You Can't Have it All?

Interview with Alaleh Kamran

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Who Says You Can't Have it All?
by Sue Siami
15-Jun-2012
 

Alaleh Kamran, is an example of having it all and doing it all... successfully. She is a criminal defense attorney, who for the last 20 years has dedicated her practice to the defense of the constitution, humanitarian causes, and fighting for the defenseless through grassroots community efforts. She is a frequent lecturer to high schools, colleges & non-profit organizations on the subject of juvenile crimes and domestic violence. She has been a legal analyst on radio and TV programs such as E! Entertainment, Access Hollywood and NBC news, and has her own monthly radio program dealing with crimes and constitutional issues. She is a successful business owner, a mother of two, a wife, a humanitarian and last but not least an inspiration to so many, including myself. Recently I had the good fortune of connecting with Ms. Kamran and was afforded the opportunity to gain quite a few invaluable gems of knowledge and inspiration. I hope you enjoy the interview as much as I did.

Q: I had come across a riveting article that you had composed for Iranian.com back in 1999. In the article you poignantly portrayed the tragic world of a heroine addict who was your former client. The article makes one realize that the work of criminal defense is certainly not for the faint of heart. How do you deal with the horrible things you witness on a daily basis?

A. It is difficult to not bring home the tragedies. I have lost sleep, appetite, and a part of my soul dealing with the heart-wrenching cases, such as murders. I have also become a lot more spiritual over the years, where I have learned to see the cosmic gifts that the cases bring me. My career is first and foremost a “practice”, and NOT a “business”. Therefore I give all that I can with “LOVE”, and I believe that over the last 20 years, I have harvested love and appreciation.

Q. What motivates you and keeps you going on a daily basis?

A. The facts of each case are exciting. The human drama is intriguing. The real story behind the “police report” becomes like a puzzle to be cracked. I love the psychology that’s involved. On the one hand, I have to get inside my client’s head to understand how we ended up in this situation. Then, I have to play the legal / psychological / evidentiary game with the prosecution, which in and of itself, becomes like a chess game - only that the rules and the pawns are ever changing. Then, and the most fascinating part about my career is that my heavy duty cases, have found a way to plug me into the “metaphysical universe” in an “Alice in Wonderland” type of way. Sometimes, my cases pit me in the center of personal dilemmas, which in turn become great spiritual catalysts, often resulting in huge epiphanies. For example, I learned to let go of my “ego” in the midst of a murder case where my client was “actually and factually” innocent. I learned to trust my “spiritual self” in the midst of a huge tax case in North Carolina. I had one of my major spiritual awakenings on the real meaning of “Justice” in the middle of an opium case in Texas.

Q. What do you see as the biggest challenge for women and particularly Iranian-American women in the legal profession?

A. The only real challenges that I have seen are the self-imposed ones. In the legal profession today, we have several Iranian-American women judges either on the state or on the federal level, and we still don’t have male Iranian-American judges. We have women who have risen to corporate legal management, political management, etc. So, the challenges consist of carefully balancing the cultural dictates of “home-making and having children” against the professional requirements of absolute dedication to the career. I don’t believe one needs to give one up for the other. It can be done, but it is extremely difficult, and requires tremendous sacrifice, discipline and patience.

Q. Who inspired you when you were younger and who inspires you today?

A. I don’t know that I’ve ever had “persona” or “heroes” to emulate- partly because my mom always encouraged me to forge my own path. I have admired Homa Sarshar’s courage in expressing uncensored opinions. She has been one of my mom’s close friends and I have picked up “career tips” from her over the years and in the process of heated discussions. However, at the risk of sounding really, really corny, my mom and dad have been my life long inspirations, and to this day, when standing at crossroads, the first person that I’d consult with is my mom.

Q. What do you know today that you wish you had known when you were first starting out your career?

A. Let go of the fears, trust your instincts, and remain true to your inner self.

Q. If you weren’t a lawyer, what else would you be?

A. A journalist.

Q. What made you establish your own law offices?

A. Oh, that! …. That’s a book by itself. I ended up getting hired to work for a firm, where it later turned out that my boss, not only was not an attorney, but he was a Federal Convicted Felon on Federal Parole posing as an attorney! My father at the time had a furniture store, with an extra office across the hall from his office. One day, right after I had left the firm, I went there to visit my parents, and he handed me a box of business cards which said “Law Offices of Alaleh Kamran”. He had set up my own phone and fax lines, and had mounted the letter “A” on the door of the extra office, hence geographically making my office as “Suite A”!

Q. In an interview you conducted in 2011- //iranian.com/main/2011/jul/alaleh-kamran... you mentioned how women’s empowerment is important to you, especially as it relates to your current and future plans. What advice do you have for women who are contemplating starting their own businesses?

A. Make sure you educate yourself in your desired field. Gather as much knowledge as you can. Surround yourself with competent advisers. Have a plan, have a back up plan, and then have the strength, fortitude and stamina to accept and learn from failure. Study those who came before you and failed. Find out why they failed. Document your thoughts. Write down your inspirations, your fears, your goals; and most importantly, follow your gut instinct. And in the process of doing the whole thing, do not forget that you are a woman. Honor yourself.

Q. As women of the 21st century we are told that we can have it all. Do you think this is true and can you simultaneously attain fulfillment and success in multiple arenas of life?

A. I always tell my kids that the phrase “I can NOT” does not exist. You may choose not to want to do something. That’s acceptable. However, the self-defeatist attitude of “i CAN NOT” is for losers. Don’t even attempt, if that’s how you think. There is an old Cherokee tale that says: an elder Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too", he added. The Grandchildren thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old Cherokee simply replied... "The one you feed." So the question is not whether I can have it all, but “what am I willing to DO for that which I chose to have?” which takes us right into your next question.

Q. How do you juggle the roles of law practitioner, mother, wife, business owner, philanthropist?

A. As best as I can, understanding that there are days that I am going to be deficient in one department, and maybe great in another. I have learned over the years that I am not supposed to be perfect in every department. I have accepted that it is ok to fail here and there. It is ok to not achieve high marks. However, it is NOT ok to NOT try. I have also learned to ask for help. My mom, my sister, my brothers, my husband, my in-laws and my girlfriends, the whole village has pitched in to help me with my kids, when I needed help. In my career, I have learned to surround my self with winners. I look to their work ethics, to their work habits, to their mantras. I will gladly learn from them, and sit second chair to them just for the opportunity to learn. In my personal life, I have learned to let go of the unnecessary and superfluous friends, and appreciate the real and genuine ones. I have learned to prioritize my needs and desires. I have eliminated negative people from my life, and have chosen to surround my work, home and family with those things that bring me life, zest and happiness.

Q. If there was someone dead or alive that you would want to meet who would it be and what would you say to them?

A. There are many, I can’t even focus on one! Forough Farrokhzad, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Alexander the Great, Kourosh-e-Kabir, Molana, Gandhi, my grand-pa on my mom’s side,, Empress Theodora of the Byzantine Empire [she was a feminist… one of the very first in Western civilization] and Artemis, [Xerxes’ general]. What would I say to them? OH MY GOD... I would ask them to tell me their story, in their own words, tell me about their fears, their unfulfilled ambitions and their greatest motivator.

Q. Where did your philanthropic motivations stem from?

A. My father is a great philanthropist. He taught me the art of doing it for the sheer pleasure of doing it, as opposed to doing good for the sake of public acknowledgement. My father is and has been a great believer in doing anonymous charity, and not allowing the recipient to know where the charity came from.

Q. Everyone defines success differently. How does Alaleh Kamran define success?

A. Success means having accomplished that which you wanted to do, with the best that you had, to the best of your capability, with the best of your intentions, without any regrets while accepting that you are not perfect.

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Jahanshah Javid

Right on

by Jahanshah Javid on

Good luck to Ms. Kamran. We can all learn from your success.


Demo

Oh, no!

by Demo on

Anybody except this lady! Not even worth of this comment!


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