STORY

Look!

I am not as Literally educated and well-versed as many of us here, But i just find it very hard to see anything "masterful' and Brilliant (not to undermine the writer's skills here) about this type of writing. It could be that when one gets bored of all the old subjects that have been written about millions of times, One thinks about all this "alternatives"!! 

ALL people do things in private that can cause embarrassement. But they are real. They happen every day, in someone's life, somewhere on this planet. If a writer does not recreate them, who will? If a writer brings them out, she or he is doing us a service. Humanity and human nature is a mixed bag. I want to see everything in there. Everything

JJ jan

Why should we recreate them or expect someone to do it for us anyway? What joy is there in finding out about such things? That is why they are called private matters after all. aren't day? I mean, if one has a overactive Imagination, Then hey,,, By all means one should knock oneself out, But as for the rest of us...? As a matter of fact, when one puts the power of Imagination to work:) that is where you get to see eeeverything, I mean EEEverything:))) more than any author, contemporary or not can ever magnify things for you

This sentence has literary merit:

 دوست دارم اینقدر با هم تو حموم بمونیم تا پوست کف دست و پامون چروک بخوره و پیر شه

It shows Zarei can write. Many readers forgive or even enjoy taboo breaking if overwhelmed by the writer's brilliance, which makes this kind of literature very hard to write. Divaneh's point suggests a truth; it takes a literary master to attempt ultra-intimate spaces successfully. Meanwhile Zarei's writing should be gauged on a difficulty curve. Not Iraj Mirza yet, but I will be watching this talented writer with interest.

On Creativity: I second Divaneh

I liked the other stories posted here by MS Zarei and like some of the friends, I didn't like this one, butI didn't want to comment about it.

But talking about the creativity of this story is somehow odd!

While Divaneh has brought good example of the same topics written by the male writers, I second him to mention that this kind of subjects have been offered to the public long ago, not by the recent ones like "sex & the city" style but some 40 years ago by Francoise Sagan and other women. So.....sorry, you can't sell it to me as a creative story.

Eroticism is good, Porn is bad.
Sorry Ms Zarei, no disrespect is intended. I hope we will be reading more of your best stories again.

Revised: I just removed the part of this comment which I found offensive. Sorry Ms Zarei, I shouldn't say that.

The good behavior of the people, warms our heart and make us thankful.....  And the bad ones, just make us to recognize and appreciate the good ones!

سعدی شیرازی میفرماید

شکم زندان باد است،‌ای خردمند

ندارد هیچ عاقل باد در بند

چو باد اندر شکم پیچد، فرو هل

که باد اندر شکم، باریست بر دل‌

You are as much to blame JJ

Taste? Creativity? Give me a break. If I was in your place, I would ask the writer to reconsider the publication of this article, and I think you are as much to blame. Do you think it's the first time that people write such nonsense? These have existed since there has been writing. Saadi, Zakani, Sanaai, Vahshi, ... they all have given it a try and some of them not so badly. But none of these great poets and writers is known for those cheap writings nor has anyone considered those work as creative or of good taste. There must have also been those who just wrote that type of rubbish and were ignored by readers. Writing provocatively is courageous but not necessarily creative, intelligent or of any literary value.

خوش نویس، بنویس

پس از تحمل چه بگو و چه ننویس حاکم بر سرزمین گل و بلبل که آفت خلاقیب و خوره جان روح خلاق است، حالا که در سرزمین آزاد هستید، به شکرانۀ آزادی:

 هیچ آداب و ترتیبی مجو هر چه میخواهد دل تنگت بگو

 بسیار خوش می نویسی ، بنویس

صمیمیت

در فضای صمیمیت مردم خیلی‌ حرفها میزنند و خیلی‌ کارها میکنند. لازمه نزدیکی‌ همینه. در خلوت شخصی‌ هم همینطور. تو مغز هزار جور فکر میچرخه که ممکنه فرد یک صدمش رو هم به معشوقش علناً نگه. نوشته معلومه که صحبت خیالاتی قهرمان داستان با معشوقشه (ویا گفتگوی واقعی‌ با او).  شخصا برام جالب و با مزه بود.

در صفحه‌هات iranian.com کمتر پیش آمده که زن نویسنده‌ای به این راحتی‌، صراحت و روانی‌ مقاله‌های جور و‌ا جور ارائه داده باشه.

دستت درد نکنه.

Taste, courage & creativity

It's a matter of taste if one is turned off or on by reading about bodily organs and functions as well as what people might do with them in their own privacy.

Fatemeh Zarei is showing a lot of courage, creativity and wit in expressing such intimate/private moments. This is what makes her stand out. At the risk of being called gross and obscene, she chooses to describe moments that others would rather hide.

ALL people do things in private that can cause embarrassement. But they are real. They happen every day, in someone's life, somewhere on this planet. If a writer does not recreate them, who will? If a writer brings them out, she or he is doing us a service. Humanity and human nature is a mixed bag. I want to see everything in there. Everything!

Thank you Fatemeh. You're unique in your honesty and fearless in your art.

هر دم از این باغ بری می رسد

ما گناهش را می اندازیم به گردن کیبورد. سابق بر این قلم بود و قلم حرمت خودش را نگاه می داشت، اما این کیبورد لامصب نه حرمت خودش را نگه می دارد و نه حرمت خواننده را و از همین دست اراجیف صادر میکند. ما که از خواندنش هم خجالت کشیدیم.

سخت است که انسان باور کند نویسنده این سطور همان کسی است که آن تصورات زیبا را در جوراب و دستکش بهاره به قلم کشیده. این یکی را به جمال آن یکی بخشیدیم.

What does an oldie know about the doodool stuff?

You will not be able to break the barrier, as long as you mind it. Remember, your destination is beyond the barrier. No writer should stop writing, change her style, or even pause for a moment because of a bunch of intellectually freeloader pseudo-critics who can't do any better but trying to undermine her giant leap.

You don't have to explain your piece to anyone, Fatemeh. Go back now, and I hope you will come back with more. 

Never increase, beyond what is necessary, the number of entities required to explain anything.

ببین یه چیزی بگم؟ نه نمی گم خجالت می کشم بگم. ولی می گم

The patented Iranian girly talk.

sorry to say it but a huge turn off.  It may work more for the dad, but not for the significant other.

Mehrdad

I couldn't read after the 4th line

I couldn't go farther than the 4th line...I think I was generous today..:-)

Dear Ms. Zarei, you bring up an excellent point

Dear Ms. Zarei, thanks for your explanation. I like you mentioning creation of fazaye aasheghane. Ajab fazaee een faza. I was also trying to create a fazaye aasheghane in this poem which I am inserting the link for

//iranian.com/main/blog/anahid-hojjati-96 

I think when fazaye aasheghane that writer/poet creates is radically different than one which the reader would create, that is when readers like me object harshly. However, everyone should be entitled to creating their rown fazaye aasheghane.

Cheers!

دوستان سوء تفاهم شده

دوستان قصد من فقط بکار بردن حرف بد نبوده. فقط خواستم شما رو به فضای خصوصی آدما ببرم بدون اشاره به همچ حرف عاشقانه ای یک فضای عاشقانه درست کنم، نزدیک و قابل باور. تو رو خدا به تمام مقاصد داستان توجه کنید شاید چیز با ارزشی هم توش بود حالا به جز یه کلمه دول

Ms. Zarei, sorry to be brutally honest

Dear Ms.Zarei, I have read several of your other stories and articles and I believe I liked them all. However, I don't see any value in this one. I was going to blog about Art but i have limted time. Art is creative expression,. I don't see any creative expresion in what you have written here.

 For instance, you write:

 می گم دودولتو بده من باهاش جیش کنم. یعنی من بگیرمش تو جیش کنی. پسر چه باحال می شه. اگه من دودول

I am sorry but what you have written is "mobtazal" and I am surprised why after the great stories and articles, you wrote this one? If I remember correctly, you are the one who wrote how you speak less now that you have to speak in English, it was about kamzaban shodan. That was a good article and it was titled: 

 I believe all your other work that I read on IC was either good or great with exception of this one.

Normally, I would not comment (or when I do, heavenly creatures get upset with me) but since I consider you a good writer, I want to let you know that as a reader, I did not care for this one.

very cute

Affarin! : ))

Actually, Bitter Divorced Man - You are incorrect

that is , if  you are referring to "jeesh" here:

 Those who exchange bacteria, live longer!

Jeesh is totally free of bacteria.  It's sterile when it comes out of the body, unless, of course, one has a urinary track infection.   

آره، ولی‌ خمیرم تموم شده

فکر می‌کنم طرف کارش تمومه و خودش خبر نداره، ایشالا به پای هم پیر
شین. راجع به اون گوز زیر لحافم زیاد فکر نکن، یه روزی میرسه که از توی اون
یکی‌ اتاق میشنوه که شما موقع همزدن قورمه سبزی هم باد توی دلت نیگر
نمیداری. جرات جیک زدن که نخواهد داشت، هیچی‌؛ به‌‌ به‌‌ و چه چه هم
می‌کنه. خدارم چی‌ دیدی، شایدم بتونی‌ بهش بگی‌ :"غلط کردی، غذا میخوای
کوفت کنی‌، اون یخچال، اونم اجاق. مگه کلفت آوردی؟ مرتیکه بی‌عرضه، بی‌
دندون"...

Never increase, beyond what is necessary, the number of entities required to explain anything.

Non-sense

In a culture where "Los angelesi music" is art, of course you have to praise this piece of crap... 

Cute

رو راستی و بی پروایی رمز دلنشین بودن این داستان بود

Those who jeesh together, stay together!

Those who exchange bacteria, live longer!

That was a perfect story!

You made my night, dear Fatemeh.

I was in such a bad mode tonight and you put a big smile on my face. Thank you :)))

عالی‌ بود.

کلی‌ خندیدم مخصوصاً اون آخرش. معلومه که هنوز زن طرف نشدی. باد معده از بالا و پایین جزو هدایای بعد شب عروسیه. :)