Iranians in Psychotherapy

The older-age children (nine to twelve year olds) show greatly enhanced capacity not only to understand the reality but also to employ more advanced coping skills to deal with the stress associated with their parents' separation and divorce.  They percieve the realities of therir family's disruption with startling soberness and clarity, particularly when compared with the younger children.  This group of kids try to cope by denial of marital rupture, reaching out to others for help, and engaging in new and exciting activities.  Despite therir success in many cases the family disruption and its consequences manifest itself in a decline in academic performance and and delinquent behaviors.  Somatic symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches and alignment with one parent against the other are common.

 The adolescents (thirteen to eighteen year olds) respond to family rupture with feelings of grief, anger, fear of failure (especially wtih regards to their own future relationships), loneliness and depression.  Many feel caught between the parents.  Some report that the toppling of the family structure has limited or entirely removed the family as a safe base and feel hurried and pressed to acheive independence quickly. The strategies that are most commonly used are either increased involvement and helpfulness or withdrawl and detachment from the family.

In summary the family rupture has negative effects on all children.  However there are many factors that can either mediate or intensify the imapct of separation/divorce.  Younger children are more vulnerable than older children,  a good relationship between the parents is positively associated with better adjustment, the maturity nad emotional well being of custodial parent enable the children to better cope with the crisis, the financial security and strong social support are helpful to children dealing with therir emotional difficulties.