Missing Lynzee Jean Ferrell


by lelakoopal

So I'm pretty stoked I'm lucky enough to get to go to South America.. but I am really really scared!! The one thing I'm the most upset about though is the one person I want to share this all with and go through it with isn't here :( It really really really hurts that she's gone and although I know she's always with me in my heart, it's not the same. I'll never be able to hang out with her again, I can't have long talks with her about everything or nothing, and I'll never be able to laugh at my little midget anymore! This past year without Lynz has been so very, very difficult, and when I'm having the best time of my life it's so hard to not think of how much better it would be if she was here.

The night she died, it broke a piece of my heart off that will never, ever be returned. Lynzee had a special place in my life and nothing, not even another her, could ever replace it. She touched my life in a way that it had never been touched before, and taught me many, many life lessons. Honestly, because of her, I am a better person. I wish that I could have become a better person without her having to die, though. If I had the chance to go back in time to when she was sick again, I would. I would redo everything; how I handled it, not visiting her, and I would talk to her even more (even though I spoke with her every day).

What's really hard is the day I'm leaving for LA, the day I should be so excited I should be sneezing rainbows, I won't be able to help but think of her since June 5th was the day she passed away. And as much as I want to just accept that she's gone and move on, I can't. She was too dear to my heart. Lately, she's been even more important as well.

Now that I'm in high school, I'm thinking of how she will never, ever get to do the things I will. She will never get to attend either of the proms, she won't be able to graduate, she'll never get married or have children, she won't ever fall in love, etc. It hurts more than anything knowing that I will get to do all of those, but I won't get to do them with her.


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So Sorry for your loss.

by Monda on

Lynzee sounds like a true gem of a friend to have.  And by the way so do YOU! It must have been so very difficult to make sense of such tragedy! How can anyone make sense of death at such young age? Heck, it's so damn hard to make sense of death at any age! I still can't make sense of my friend Angela's death last summer when she was only 47! 

I don't know what anyone can say about your loss to make it easier, somehow I don't think you're even looking for that. I can only suggest that you imagine the reversed situation: if YOU were the friend who had passed away, would you wish your surviving friends to go on living their lives, the way you would have if you were alive? without any guilt about living their lives? I know I would. What other choice does anyone have really?! Life goes on until something happens to US. Until then, my choice is to learn the most out of it and enjoy the moments with my family, friends and pets. 

It is great that you're writing about Lynzee here. This is one Creative way to keep her memory alive; now the whole iranian.com community knows Lynzee! Have FUN on your trip... share some photos with us if you'd like.




Look up to the sky and see the blue

by Feshangi on

Losing a friend, specially a young friend, is very difficult.  Young people are not supposed to die.  They have all their future in front of them.  They are so full of energy and life.  But the reality is that young people also die.  Please try to remember not the bad parts of your relationship, not what could have been, but all the good things that you shared with your friend.  All the laughter and fun you had with her.  Try and remember those precious moments and you'll see that she lives and laughs with you.....as long as you decide her to be with you, which I hope it is forever.  



I hear You & She can too!

by samsam1111 on

I wish I could learn the art of crying...I don,t but if You do..use it to heal yourself....God bless!!