Recently I have made many mistakes that a sixteen year old with a bright future such as myself has no business making, but it wasn't until this past week that I learned you have to let it go. I got arrested for stealing alcohol, my parents found out I was a party girl and a thief, I felt I'd hit rock bottom.
All the intricate lies I had made to hide the fact that I was participating in what had killed my best friend and would get me in deep shit quickly came crashing down. I hated myself because I realized the seriousness of what I was engaging in. Not much longer after that did I get busted at school for smoking weed and having prescription pills on me(that weren't exactly prescribed to me...).
Yeah, I know, I'm a slow learner. I had broken into the rock bottom I was at and somehow managed to get to the core of the earth, in my mind. I had absolutely no trust from my parents anymore, and worst of all they were disappointed in me beyond comprehension. I hated myself more. They found out that not only was I a party girl, but I was a pothead as well. I had been arrested. I had been busted for drugs. I was nothing but a drug addict and a criminal in my mind.
I became very depressed. Then I talked to a neighbor of mine whose daughter, and one of my closest friends, had recently passed away from substance abuse. She taught me to MOVE ON and forgive myself. What I did was done and over with and all I can do is work with it from now on. I am not a bad person, I've just made some bonehead choices. As long as I get my life back on track, I can laugh about this later. Now I have gone from hitting rock bottom, to entering the core of the earth, to somehow making it to the other side of earth with a new perspective on everything and a new start.
And whatever you're going through, it will end. "This, too, shall pass." Remember that. The change has to come from within you, but if you keep dwelling on the past, you will never be able to move on.
"To get something you never had, you must do something you've never done." Give yourself a break! You can't take back what you've done, so work with it. And remember, you're not a bad person. Unless you've killed somebody on purpose. Then you might be.
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