The beauty of grace.


by lelakoopal

These past few years I have made some of the dumbest, most stupid, and biggest mistakes I have ever made, and I have no doubt that I will either repeat them or make dumber and bigger mistakes in the future.  Luckily, as said in Ephesians 4:7. "But each of us was given grace... "  This is my favorite quote ever.  It tells me that yes, humans are a corrupt species, its our nature to make mistakes!  But its the grace of God, or whatever you as the reader believes in, not to erase those mistakes, but not let them define us.

I know from experience how it feels to have the cold glare of your peers boring through you, knowing they are judging and knowing they see you as that one person who did whatever.  Take me for example.  (I am about to share a life experience that no, I am not proud of, but it has become a part of me and I have learned and grown from it.  I am putting my faith in you as the reader to not judge me.  You have no right to point your finger unless your own hand is clean.)  Last year I got invited to a party- no, not an innocent birthday party sadly.  A drinking, dangerous, frowned upon party.  Being naive, I thought I could go, completely avoid peer pressure with no sweat, and come home the next day without my parents knowing a thing.  Unfortunately, I broke under the pressure and drank.  Even more unfortunate at the time, the house was on a corner and the cops got wind of it.  They knew my step dad personally since he had been a cop, and instantly called him the moment they saw me.  What I didn't realize at the time, was that was a huge favor to me- my parents helped me through every moment of it.  Yes, I was grounded- my mother was furious!  They couldn't look at me the next few days, I was completely and utterly mortified, and with good reason!  I had been a complete idiot.  The next few weeks at school were also a living hell.  When I walked down the hallways, my former friends turned away.  They were ashamed to know me.  The other students whispered.  I had gone from having many friends and people who respected me, to losing it all because of one party.  It took a few weeks to blow over, but people still haven't forgotten.  It wasn't until I met someone very special to me that I realized, its not the hand you were dealt that defines who you are- its how you deal with it.  And even if you make a few mistakes, as long as you learn and grow from them they won't define you either.  They will always be there- it wouldn't be right for them to be forgotten, they help you grow- but they are forgiven, and that's the beauty of grace.  Don't you wish high school students knew about it? lol.

In essence, although we may all have made some DUMB decisions, we cannot let them run our lives.  If I only though of myself as "the girl who got picked up by some cops at a high school party", where would I be?  I wouldn't think of myself as any better than that because I wouldn't know how to forgive myself.  So forgive yourself!  Grace allows it, no matter what you did, seek forgiveness from those you hurt, and ultimately, forgive yourselves.  You deserve a break.




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Those were good and as you

by Javad the Plumber (not verified) on

Those were good and as you said you probably don't remember much of them because you use them subconsciously (not unconciously ;-). Perhaps when you get a chance you can write a blog about things you hear high school kids say. Others will probably help you to add more or jug your memory. That could be your calling card and you can write more as you go on and notice more of this stuff. You can be our lingo advisor!

Whatever! As if! OMG!


Haha Javad, here is what we

by lelakoopal on

Haha Javad, here is what we say:

Cool, awesome for good things.

If someone is a little promiscuous or we don't like them and they happen to be dating a friend of ours.. we normally say, "how's your ho?"

We make fun of gangsters all the time yet we use words describing them in good ways..

thuggin, sucha g, etc..

Thizzin is really slang for ecstasy.. but we have a certain face we associate with it.. its supposed to be cool.... thats one slang word i never really understood. whats cool about drugs?

those are really the only ones i can think of, although im sure there are millions of others i use daily, unconcious of using them because im so accustomed to it. lol.


Well we all make mistakes.

by Javad the plumber (not verified) on

Well we all make mistakes. While this was a dumb mistake I was expecting a less serious mistake. It is good that you learned from this mistake and you will not make it again.

But what would you say was a lighter and less serious mistake that you could share with us and bring a smile to us?! What is hip these days in high school? Are you guys still like OMG, Kevin told Kaitlin to tell Tyler to tell Sandy that he is such a dufus for going steady with Sarah?!

I don't mean to sound like making fun of anything I'm just thinking high school lingo is fun and it keeps changing with the new blood all the time. And some of those lingo come from kids making dumb mistakes. So say you what?!



by Dena (not verified) on

You are brave you are strong and you have grace. I am proud of you and your honesty in writing about your mishap. Listen! I am a lot older than you and I started messing up when I was younger than you and I haven't stopped yet! I messed up last year and I suffered for it.I messed up again last month, and again only last week! I think I finally did some right things this week, but I can't be sure of that either! And I'm not as brave as you are, I keep most of my mishaps to myself. Whatever belief helps you overcome your difficulties and to go on with your head held high is the right belief. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.You are a very special young woman and your family loves you. That's really very special Lela. Peace


Kurush, I have to admit..

by lelakoopal on

Kurush, I have to admit you've made a good argument, but I press on that there is grace.  Maybe there is not grace in you, and maybe there is not grace in our peers, but as long as you forgive yourself and get on with your life, you are giving yourself grace.  Basically its getting cut some slack- maybe you're a straightlaced person who doesn't believe in getting cut some slack.  Maybe you're perfect and don't need it.  In that case who am I to judge?  But are you saying that everybody needs to dwell on their mistakes and always live in the past, never get on with their lives, and always, always define themselves as someone who once made a mistake?  In that case, who are you?


Forgiveness and shame...

by alborz on

... in many of the religous traditions of the past, go hand in hand.  Shame, as you experienced it, was in response to the perceptions of people from whom you seek approval, love and association.   For as long as such shame is perceived as a deterent, then unseemly behavior is regulated by external elements from which forgiveness and acceptance is sought.  This force is at the root of confessionals and repentance that is practiced in various forms amongs the followers of past religious traditions.

I invite you to ask a simple question.  Are the people, whose acceptance and forgiveness you seek, free from failures in judgement?  The Baha'i perspective on this is a simple one whereby the individual has to hold themselves accountable against a standard that recognizes its true station.  This station, in past religious traditions is that of a "sinner" and a "base creature".

In Baha'i Writings Man is referenced to an exalted station from which it has the potentilal for decline.  In the Hidden Words of Baha'u'llah, the counsel is very clear and

With the hands of power I made thee and with the fingers of strength I created thee; and within thee have I placed the essence of My light. Be thou content with it and seek naught else, for My work is perfect and My command is binding. Question it not, nor have a doubt thereof.

Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself. Rise then unto that for which thou wast created.

Repeatedly, we are reminded of our station and to bring ourselves to account. No confessions to anyone and no forgiveness from anyone.  There are no breaks, just personal responsibility.  How we fare in the face of life's challenges and tests will be a measure of our spiritual evolution.  

Bring thyself to account each day ere thou art summoned to a reckoning; for death, unheralded, shall come upon thee and thou shalt be called to give account for thy deeds.

We are also reminded that we are not to judge others.

How couldst thou forget thine own faults and busy thyself with the faults of others? Whoso doeth this is accursed of Me.




The beauty of Grace

by kurush (not verified) on

Yours is a Chrisitian theologic worldview. Not everyone subscribes to the humbug therein. The Greeks might have approximated to the existential truth much better than the Christian worldview does, although ironically, the ancient Greeks, as well as the ancient Jews, were instrumental in moulding the Christian theology. For the Greek Tragedians, the human psychology is deeply structured by the cultural milieu and cultural identifications. Quoting from the Bible is a cultural identification. In the pagan culture you would worship Dionysus and identify with the pagan oracles. The truth has nothing to do with it all, in fact being truthful is the sure way of getting anathematized by the community. The Tragedians believed that one is de-structured, unravelled, by the cultural shock of the truth, in a brutal way. This unravelling, unhinged, bordering on madness, occures in a precise process: one makes a choice ( an error?) in highly unsettling, exigent, uncertain, murky circumstances in which no clearly 'good' choice exists. The choice which is obliquely prescribed by the cultural milieu(identifications) once made is irreversible with deeply troubling discoveries (anagnorosis), that bring about a radical change (peripeteia), wholly unforseen and unimaginable, and, through pity and fear catharsis is obtained-one becomes a different person due to the severity of the shock. Oedipus gouges his eyes and catharsis is gained-he is now free from self-pity and fear. But the person who has thus gained precious nugget of knowledge is not a better or happier person than the one before the choice. There is no grace in this worldview. One can not go back to undo the damage done. He or she must live with the dire consequences of the choice-wiser but brutalized nonetheless. Aristotle ridicules those who criticized Euripides for bringing misfortune to his character:"Those critics are therefore wrong who charge Euripides with doing this in his tragedies, and say that many of his end in misfortune." [The Poetics]. There is no grace. Sorry.