Curious Joe
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Confessions of a Grand Pa
13-Sep-2010
I am 67 years old. My one and only child, a daughter called Sakineh, is 32 years old. She got married in her mid 20s and now has a beautiful daughter, called Roghieh, who is 3 years old – having just started to speak.
My wife had a phone call from Sakineh today. Here is what my wife reported to me after her telephone conversation with our daughter:
[Sakineh called today. Apparently Roghieh told her “Mummy, sometimes I don’t like you”. Sakineh responded ”That hurts Mummy’s feelings. You should apologize”. Of course, Roghieh does not yet know the concept of “hurting someone’s feelings”, let alone the concept of “apology”. So, apparently Roghieh runs to her room without an apology and gets on playing with her toys. Having heard the conversation, Sakineh’s husband (i.e. Roghieh’s father = our son-in-law) tells Roghieh to go and tell her mother “I am sorry” – which she dutifully does. But that “I am sorry” statement did not seem sincere enough to Sakineh. Sakineh said: How can that “little s#*t” tell me “Mummy, sometimes I don’t like you?” after all I have done and doing for her]
After some laughter with my wife about “growing up pains” and remembering what Sakineh herself was like when she was only 3 years old, I told my wife: If I was Sakineh, I would have told Roghieh “honey, you have a right to free speech, but if you are in a cinema watching your cartoons, and suddenly you shout FIRE!, when there is no fire, then you will be arrested and taken to prison”. I think Sakineh responded based on her emotion and bruised ego rather than using logic to educate the child. By her reaction, Sakineh just created a sense of “guilt” which is the genetic stuff of some religions – Oh Lord, we are all sinners.
“What are you talking about” said my wife. “at age 3 you expect the poor little Roghieh to be educated in the first amendment of the US Constitution/Bill of Rights?! For peat’s sake. she is only 3 yeas old”.
“That is how brainwashing starts” I responded calmly. “As a pair of staunch atheist parents, we sent Sakineh to a special school where she had to read the Bible in French, read the Torah in Hebrew, read the Qoran in Arabic, and read the Buddhist manifesto in English – and pass exams in all of them. We did that so that Sakineh can grow up and make up her own mind/choice, rather than merely/blindly following her parent’s secular/atheistic beliefs. I told her that as a Persian, looking across the past 4,000 years of human brain evolution and genetic inheritance, we tried our best not to bring up a brainwashed girl into this world. After the appearance of Moses, Jesus, Mohammad and the Arab invasion of Persia some 1400 years ago (which is lasting through today), I suppose we could not control the passing of the of stone-age-mentality genes.
At that point, my wife gave up, without rolling up her eyes – which she normally does -- implying that I am merely a ranting, grumpy old man.
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Sakineh"s Respone
by Curious Joe on Sun Sep 26, 2010 02:51 AM PDTbibyter:
Here is how my daughter, Sakineh, responded to the fictional article:
Hi Dad:
LOL… I am sure everyone wants to know where Sakineh went to school!
Yes, this is certainly a fictional story. I have yet to meet someone who wasn’t, in one way or another influenced by the religious persuasions/brainwashing of their parents. In their adult years, they either decide it all made sense or their parents were full of s***.
I love the objective wisdom of this fictional Grandpa… indeed, all crises with children are teachable moments. That said, I have yet to meet a parent who can consistently “remove themselves from the situation” and rationally approach their child’s tantrum/outburst/crisis as a teachable moment. I don’t think Sakineh has met one either. ;-) But it makes for a good story!
Thanks for sharing…
Love you,
Sakineh !
I'm not 67 years of age.
by bibytr on Tue Sep 21, 2010 07:56 AM PDTA cute story.
It speaks as much, however, to the brainwashing of the grandparent in question as it does to the mother by her over-reaction to the child’s innocent question. Just as the Roman Catholics and the Southern Baptists are brainwashed, so, I believe, is a “staunch atheist”. Would you ever consider yourself to be a “staunch” anumismatist? A “staunch” aphilatelist?
As there is no evidence – nothing – to substantiate a supernatural being that listens telepathically to every imprecation of each member of each of the myriad faiths, even when facing an icon or a buried steel girder encased in concrete that happens to be in front of one when facing somewhat easterly. It is incumbent, upon me, therefore, to focus my albeit limited intelligence on that for which there is at least a modicum or hint of reality. And that precludes rabid (staunch) atheism. How can I be a staunch believer in a negatively posited proposition?
The mother on the other hand ought to have better understood her studies (Bible, Torah, Koran and a Buddhist manifesto. Wow. Too much, dude!). Perhaps it was you, Grand-Pa, that enabled her brainwashing by subjecting her unformed mind to such disparate views on the world (OK – discuss among yourselves the disparities between organized religions beginning with the Great Flood. One so-called book of god says it was in Persia, another the Mediterranean; Perhaps it was the Three Gorges in Confucius’ China? How can you believe any of this nonsense? Oh and overlook the similarities as they will only be cause for peace, understanding and possible harmony between the various sects. Definitely NOT something we want. What WOULD religion be without contradiction?) Perhaps it was overly confusing and unnecessarily broad and deep and her own ability to rationalize and objectively conclude was drowned in the whirlpool that enveloped her? You enabled her brainwashing maybe leading to her concluding it’s all too much to comprehend and therefore becoming agnostic and confused.
Much as maybe the little girl of three years of age needed only to be asked to explain why she didn’t like her mommy at that point. It needed only to be accepted and respected simply by accepting it No need to analyze mom or daughter. It is a natural reaction of every animal to dislike certain things. She doesn’t need brainwashing in the US constitution and its attendant Bill of Rights (not that it is in any way perfect, regardless). She most certainly ought not be punished and forced into an apology but a simple explanation of rudimentary diplomacy (we used to consider it “manners” or” etiquette” when I was a child) would suffice, a hug and a kiss (unconditional love without question or toll) and send her on her way with the little bit of information that her three year old brain is able to process and assimilate would be far more efficacious. And Mom? Grow up for heaven’s sakes! Brainwashing is insidious but one needn’t be so eager to succumb.
However, as has been said before: ‘Resistance is futile’. Maybe. Even for grumpy, ranting old farts like (me and) him! (You, Grand-pa, inferred correctly from your dear wife and mine would concur with respect to my own good self).
And finally, a couple of questions. How is being a Persian any different than Anglo Saxon or ___ (fill in the blank) when casting one’s eye back across the past four millennia? Would a modern Englishman be considered mentally rational were he to bemoan the continued invasion of England by the reviled Frenchies that started one thousand years ago? Hmmmm. Don’t think so! Anymore than a “staunch atheist” would admit to “the appearance of Moses, Hay-zus, Mohammed” etc. ad nauseum.
I’m Curious, Joe!
;-)
Cheers!
Sakineh needs to ask rather than demand
by Abarmard on Tue Sep 14, 2010 01:20 PM PDTShe could have asked why dear? what did I do? I always love you, how come you don't?
And you will have your answer.
cute read
by Niloufar Parsi on Mon Sep 13, 2010 05:00 AM PDTpersonally, i like it if my kids tell me something negative about me. it's one of those rare moments of honest feedback with no hidden agendas (usually, that is!) that i truly cherish.
children are amazing judges of character :)