Who would have thought? Marylou is in love! The queen of mean, the whistleblower of the year, the spy who hates me, she is in love. The woman, that people would re-route their path in the maze of the office cubicle isles just to avoid crossing her path, is in love. How do I know? Her teeth are whiter, her eyes are brighter, her cheeks are blusher, her lips are more vermilion, and her sagging breasts are perkier. Last week I figured out why there was so much change in her. She was talking to Joe, and I recognized her giggle over the partitions that separate my cubicle from the people who residing on the next isle. No one has ever heard her giggle before as long as anyone can remember. But, the giggle was unmistakably hers, a mimic of her voice, which sounds like a tree slamming into a house on a stormy night.
My immediate neighbor on the other side is an oriental guy who slurps his fish soup, especially when he has it for breakfast. The guy to my right on the other side is the one who is always missing, and has earned the nickname of Absent Imam. Joe sits on the other side to my left. He is the one who is always sick. He is constantly on the phone talking to car insurance accident claim agents. After he is finished with the agents, he gets on the phone with his medical provider and yaks about his medical bills almost every day. Then he is making doctor and physical therapy appointments, and afterward he is on the phone talking to his ex-wife. Maybe one day I’ll give you all the details about his divorce. It’s not a secret around here. Everyone within fifteen feet of his cube knows about it, except Absent Imam since he is hardly present.
Joe is only four feet away from me, separated by a thin partition, so I hear everything. We don’t see each other but that doesn’t mean his whiney voice would not carry over the wall. His ex-wife is a nagger, just like Joe. Two naggers cannot make it together for too long. He talks about his medical problems, she talks about hers and that’s enough to make anyone around him crazy. Marylou on the other hand is a strong domineering bitch, and that makes their union a match made in heaven. If he ever nags in her presence I’m sure she’ll chew him up.
When lab rats are released in experimental mazes sooner or later they find their way to the cheese, and Marylou has found herself the stinkiest cheese there is in the office. Today I saw them in the hallway by the bathroom. She was leaning against the wall, one foot firmly set on the ground, her other foot crossed and erect on her toes. Her hands in her white pants, but only four fingers of each hand, with her thumbs sticking out. Just like a teenager. She was looking directly into his eyes, and didn’t even notice that I was in a hurry to make it to the bathroom.
When I came back the other way I noticed he was leaning on the wall too, almost like mirror images of each other, with him looking directly into her eyes too. He has completely lost his brain. There is no more hope for him. All the telling is in the eyes. They were so into leaning against the partition that I thought soon it will tilt over. He is tall, taller than the partitions. She is tall also, but shorter than him. If they had not passed the age of menopause, I’d say they would soon be having tall children who’d love to lean on walls.
Comes to tell you, love knows no boundary, or partition.
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