I never waited for inspiration

Conversation with Barzin (Part 2)


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I never waited for inspiration
by Parham
13-Feb-2008
 

The following is a multimedia article. The links therein will lead you either to song files, websites, or videos. To be able to see and download the songs that are mentioned in the article, you can go to this page. The mp3 files on the page are there for you to download and keep should you wish to do so.

***

If you haven't read part 1 of this article, perhaps you should! In the previous part, I introduced Barzin and his music. Our conversation picks up where it was left last time.

***

Parham

What was it that attracted you towards wanting to try your hand at becoming a musician, or even trying to play a musical instrument at first?

Barzin

I think like a lot of teenagers, I began playing music because my friends started getting into it. It was a social thing. But later on, when I discovered my interest in songwriting, I felt a deeper and more real connection to it. It had nothing to do with my friends. I felt I had found a way of expressing myself that allowed me to connect with a truer side of myself. And that is why I have been doing it until now.
Also, songwriting gave me the opportunity to bring together my two greatest passions: music and literature. I finally found a way to combine these two things. When I was playing guitar or drums for bands, I wasn't able to bring these two together. But through songwriting I was able to achieve this union.

Parham

Do you read a lot?

Barzin

I used to think I read a lot until I met someone who made me realize what it means to read. So, now I would call myself an average reader. But I try and read as much as I can. Currently I am reading a book called, "The Gospel According to Jesus Christ." It is a very interesting book about Jesus. It was written by Jose Saramago.

Parham

What do you usually read? Is that a typical book in your library?

Barzin

For someone who is an atheist, I tend to read quite a lot about religion. Maybe I am really a believer who is in denial. Not really sure. For the past year I've been reading mostly fiction. Let's see, here is shortlist of what I have read lately:

Blood Meridian by Cormac Mccarthy
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
Varieties of Disturbance by Lydia Davis
Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl

I seem to always be trying to catch up on all the greats, so from time to time I'll pick up a classic. I am quite fond of reading poetry as well. Actually for 2 years I read nothing but poetry. That was a strange and rewarding experience. And I also find myself reading quite a bit of books that I guess you would call "psychology books." I am very much intrigued by the self. It never ceases to draw me.

Parham

How much would you say what you read influences the lyrics you make? Do you qualify your lyrics as poetry or as just plain lyrics?

Barzin

When it comes to lyrics, I draw a lot from the poetry I read. I can't say the same thing about fiction, but poetry definitely inspires me and helps me greatly with my lyrics.

I wouldn't call my lyrics poems; I think they are just lyrics. I don't necessarily think lyrics make good poems. And a lot of the time it is very difficult to turn a poem into a song. I've know very good poets who have tried their hand at writing lyrics, but they weren't able to create anything worthwhile.

Parham

Why would you say that is?

Barzin

I think if one is speaking in technical sense, than yes, lyrics can pass for poetry. Lyrics most often follow the laws —meter, rhyme, etc.-- that poems follow. But my comment is more about whether or not these lyrics are good enough to be considered poems. Of course you can argue that if it looks like a poem and if it talks like a poem, than it must be a poem. But I don't really believe that. I take the art of poetry very seriously, and I don't believe that most songwriters who write songs are poets.

Their lyrics might have the structure of poems and might sound poetic, but most times those lyrics cannot pass for poems on their own. If you strip away the music from most of the lyrics written, I would argue that what you get is bad poetry. And I don't think bad poetry is necessarily poetry. I know I am sounding elitist and pompous, but I am arguing all of this just to give credit to poets who spend years and years studying and writing poetry. I think that they deserve more credit. Not everyone who writes poems is a poet. I don't consider myself a poet, and I've been writing music for many years now. I also write poetry on regular basis, and have studied poetry at university. But I still don't feel that what I write qualifies as poetry. Or if it does, then it's third-rate poetry!

There are a few exceptions, however. I think that Leonard Cohen's lyrics can stand on their own and be considered as poetry. But he is an anomaly. He started out as a writer. He had published several books of poetry before he turned to music. He studied poetry for years at university and had a great control over it. Dylan is another example, though I would argue that his command of words is nowhere as great as Cohen. But there are few songs that Dylan has written that can survive alone on the page.

Parham

Like which ones?

Barzin

Visions of Johanna, for example.

Parham

Getting to your music, I noticed that you had a slightly different style before your last album...

Barzin

Yes, the first album was much more sparse and straight ahead. I wanted to try something slightly different for the last album. I guess you can say it was my "experimental" album.

But I think I've gotten all of that experimenting out of my system. For my next album, I think I'll go back to the basics again. Just keep it simple.

Parham

So you mean you liked the outcome of the first better than the second?

Barzin

No. I actually can't really listen to the 1st album anymore. The mix feels all wrong to me. I am happy the way the 2nd one turned out.
For the next album, I am going to go for a more band sound, similar to the first album. But I am going to try and capture a different mix.

Parham

What type of a "different mix"?
What brought you to this style in the first place anyway? What made you explore the "quiet side of pop"? Did you always write and perform this way, or did you start with a different style?

Barzin

I've been enjoying the more "roomy" sounding recordings. And by this I mean that you can hear the different instruments all within the room. This is different than the overdub style of recording where everything is recorded separately in different rooms. They are much more isolated. The end result is a very clean and pristine sound. Most of the major label recordings are usually done this way. That's how they are able to get that really clean sound.

To answer your second question-- I've always felt more comfortable writing in the style I do. And most of the stuff I listen to tend to have similar mood and feel. So, I guess I am just trying to recreate what feels right for me.

I think I've always written in this style. When I started out, I was little more folk-oriented. But that might have been because I was performing solo back then. But the sound became less folkie when I started playing with a band. I guess it is still pretty folkie though if you strip away most of the stuff.

Parham

Are your band’s members permanent, or do you change musicians often?

Barzin

For the longest time I would change players based on people's availability. Most of the people that play with me have their own musical projects, so sometimes they are on tour or are recording an album to come on the road with you. So, I am always juggling players around.
Over the past year, I've been playing with the same group of people. They are all great musicians, and we get along well. So, I can't ask for anything better.

Parham

I've noticed through your MySpace page that you actually have a lot of listeners. However, they mostly seem to be non-Iranians, while you remain practically unknown to the Iranian crowd. How do you explain that? Did you target a non-Iranian audience on purpose from the beginning?

Barzin

To be honest, it's a mystery to me why my music is listened to more by a non-Iranian audience. I am not sure why that is the case. I've never specifically targeted one audience over another. Maybe it's because I sing in English, or maybe it's because the type of music I play does not sound like "typical" Iranian music. I am not sure though?

As I had mentioned earlier, I've always been on the periphery of the Iranian community. I had always thought that the Iranian community both in Canada and in other countries listened to "typical" Iranian music. I didn't think an Iranian "underground" music scene really existed. It wasn't until I met the drummer of Kiosk, Shahrouz Molaei, that I began learning about the underground music scene in Iran. That was a very surprising revelation to me. I was very much taken back by the fact that Iranian people were open to bands who don't necessarily sound like most of the Iranian artists coming out of Los Angeles today.

Parham

How did the idea of playing alongside Kiosk come? The music is very different...

Barzin

Yes, the music is definitely very different. I learned about Kiosk through meeting Shahrouz Molaei, who is the drummer for the band. I ran into him couple of times at social gatherings, and then one day he just called me up and asked if I was interested in playing the show with Kiosk. I must admit that I had my reservations about the whole idea, and I did tell him that I wasn't sure if my music would be suitable for such a show. But he didn't really think it would be a problem. So, I basically put my trust in his judgment. And I am glad that I went through with the concert. It was lots of fun. There was such a festive feel to the whole night, and it was really nice to be part of it. And plus, it is a very nice experience to be playing in front of an Iranian crowd. It's hard to explain it, but it feels very different than playing on front of a non-Iranian crowd. I am glad I got to experience that.

Parham

How was it different?

Barzin

I don't think I'll be able to explain it properly because it's such a new experience for me. But when I say "different" I don't mean that an Iranian crowd responds to what I do differently than a non-Iranian crowd. That's not what I meant. I think I was referring to a more personal reaction than anything else. I guess you can say that I felt much more self conscious in front of this crowd. I kept seeing myself through their eyes. I kept trying to know what it was that was going through their head. What does it feel to see another Iranian on stage playing music that is not at all Iranian, and singing in a language that is not Farsi? Do they like it? Do they frown upon it? Are they proud? Are they disappointed? Do they see me as that "guy" who they think has become too westernized? I guess a lot of such thoughts went through my head during that show. And that is what I meant by feeling much more self conscious than other shows. It was such a novel experience. It was......... different.

Parham

And how do you think they saw it?

Barzin

I really couldn't answer this question. I wish I knew how I was received, but I don't. Maybe it's best that it remains a mystery.

Parham

Let's talk about your songs.
What's "Just More Drugs" about (both song/EP)?
Is that part of the first set that you released, or was there another album/EP before this one?

Barzin

Just when I think I've passed that point of having to get anymore personal about my music, you pull me further in :-) But that's alright Mr. Parham. I'll give away all my secrets. The theme of my last album was disillusionment with the arts. In many ways I lost faith in music when it failed to bring into my life the sort of meaning I had sought after for many years in areas such as religion, family, friends, etc.... What I felt as a result of this loss was a sort of vacuum or emptiness, and "Just more drugs" was my attempt to try and talk about the various things (seeking out a friend, shopping, drugs ) I would consider doing in order to deal with this sense of emptiness. The other theme of the album is "escape," Just more drugs seems also to touch upon this theme. What better way to escape than through drugs.

Parham

Were you afraid at all, when you were writing the songs for the EP, that you'd get criticized for bringing up such a theme?

Barzin

Honesty is more important to me than getting criticized. I felt that I owed it to myself to talk about my feelings about music in an honest and open way, even if it meant not winning people's sympathy.

Parham

I personally admire that.
"Let's go driving". Tell me about it.

Barzin

I feel I need to answer this question by first talking about how I've approached the creative process. Every songwriter, artist, etc. has their own method when it comes to creating. Some people wait for inspiration to hit them, some take drugs to feel compelled to create; each person has their own way that best suits them.

I approached music and songwriting like work. I never waited for inspiration, and I could never write under the influence of drugs. The only way I was able to create was to get up in the morning, go to my room and just start composing/writing. It was like a 9 to 5 job. There were days when I was productive, and there were days where nothing was produced.

But there is fine line between work and creativity, and if it starts to become work, then I think you are in the danger of killing the love and passion you had for your art. And I think that is what happened with me. I became too regimented, I began treating it too much like work. And I think I killed the muse. And in the end, all I was left with was me sitting in a room day in and day out trying to compose. That was all I did. It sort of sucked the life out of my life.

"Let's go driving" is really about that. I tried to talk about how my life had turned into spending all of my time inside a room, desperately trying to create. I wanted to convey in this song the fatigue I felt from the constant self-analysis, and the negative effect it had on my state of being. The song is also about the desire to not want to continue doing this thing that I had devoted my life to. It's about wanting something simpler; It's about the need to leave behind and get away from those rooms I felt trapped in.

Parham

So then how did you compose it? Did you leave the "routine" for a while and it came as an inspiration, or was it a look back at what you were doing previously?

Barzin

No, I didn't leave the routine; I continued with it. I learned that even though my approach to songwriting had taken the form of a 9 to 5 job, it would eventually lead to moments of inspiration. So, I just learned to be patient and to wait through the moments of non-productivity until the inspiration came. I guess that's the difference between me and other songwriters. For example, I was spending some time with a friend, who is a songwriter. And we were together at a friend's studio. I can't remember what we were doing, but we weren't really doing anything important; we were just hanging out and being casual. And then all of sudden my friend picked up her guitar and began working on a song. And she sat there for 2 hours straight until she had finished both the melody and the lyrics to a song. It was quite something. I watched the whole process take place, and I was amazed by it. I could never do that. But watching my friend just reminded me how differently people approach their art. I wish I could just wait around until inspiration hit me, but I've learned that I don't work that way. If I wait until inspiration comes, I probably wouldn't write one single song. I am the type that needs to force inspiration to come to me.

Parham

Tell me about "Queen Jane".

Barzin

"Queen Jane" is about writer's block. I got the title from Dylan's song "Queen Jane Aproximately" The Queen Jane that I evoke in my song is linked to Dylan's Queen Jane. I guess you can say this is my way of tipping my hat to Dylan, It's one way of showing the great respect I hold for him.

Parham

"My Life In Rooms". Please delve!

Barzin

I think unconsciously I was trying to avoid this question. It's a hard one to answer. But here it goes:

I am going to begin by quoting a passage from Chekhov's play "The Seagull." It's not a short passage, and apologize if I am taking up a lot of space by adding such a large text to this conversation, but I figured that since this is an online thing it might be permissible. This passage is from a scene in the play that takes place between a writer and a girl who has romantic views of artists. The writer, in this passage, is basically telling the girl that his life as a writer is anything but glamorous or exciting:

"Let us discuss this bright and beautiful life of mine... Day and night I am held in the grip of one besetting thought, to write, write, write! Hardly have I finished one book then something urges me to write another, and then a third, and then a fourth—I write ceaselessly. I am, as it were, on a treadmill. I hurry forever from one story to another, and can't help myself. Do you see anything bright and beautiful in that? Oh, it is a wild life! Even now, thrilled as I am by talking to you, I do not forget for an instant that an unfinished story is awaiting me. My eye falls on that cloud there, which has the shape of a grand piano; I instantly make a mental note that I must remember to mention in my story a cloud floating by that looked like a grand piano. I smell heliotrope; I mutter to myself: a sickly smell, the color worn by widows; I must remember that in writing my next description of a summer evening. I catch an idea in every sentence of yours or of my own, and hasten to lock all these treasures in my literary storeroom, thinking that some day they may be useful to me. As soon as I stop working I rush off to the theatre or go fishing, in the hope that I may find oblivion there, but no! Some new subject for a story is sure to come rolling through my brain like an iron cannonball. I hear my desk calling, and have to go back to it and begin to write, write, write, once more. And so it goes for everlasting. I cannot escape myself, though I feel that I am consuming my life. To prepare the honey I feed to unknown crowds, I am doomed to brush the bloom from my dearest flowers, to tear them from their stems, and trample the roots that bore them under foot. Am I not a madman? Should I not be treated by those who know me as one mentally diseased? The best years of my youth were made one continual agony for me by my writing."

The reason I've included this passage is because I feel it captures perfectly the relationship I came to have with songwriting. I moved from one song to the next. When the song was done, I moved on to rehearsing, and when rehearsing was over, I would go and perform. I basically trapped myself in a never-ending musical cycle. And there is nothing wrong with that, as long as you can derive enjoyment from it. But I lost sight of that. I no longer knew how to get the happiness I once got from music. I became a prisoner of my own art. It began to take over my life and started dictating my actions. My emotions became dependant on whether or not I had written a good song that week.

When I had written a song that I thought was good, I was ecstatic. But the feeling would wear off quickly, and in order to feel happy again I had to keep writing. I was sort of like a junkie: the high from finishing a song wore off really fast, and I needed another fix quickly. And on top of that, I became obsessed with perfection, which I think is a very common thing for people in the arts to become pre-occupied with. And so I spent almost all of my time in-doors trying to perfect my art. My life, literally, was spent inside my tiny room that I used for writing. So, this album is about that. I desperately wanted music to bring into my life the meaning that I always believed art was capable of brining into one's life. I wanted art to take the place of everything else in my life. But I think I went about the wrong way.

Parham

Based on your response there, and with a step back looking at your album, what is your favorite song of your own then, and why?

Barzin

If we are speaking lyrically, than I would have to choose "My Life In Rooms." In terms of recording quality, I would have to choose either "Pale Blue Eyes" or "Let's Go Driving."

Parham

Tell me more about Pale Blue Eyes. That's an interesting song, actually.
And what do you mean by "recording quality"?

Barzin

By "recording quality" I was referring to the way the song was recorded and mixed. I won't bore you too much with technical details, but I'll answer it this way.

In "Pale Blue Eyes" you can hear that the drums and the guitar for example are quite up in the mix. This has to do with the positioning of the microphones and the way it was mixed.

Also, when you listen to the song you feel like you are listening to a band play, and that everyone is playing at the same time in one room. But if you listen to my next album, the sound of the instruments is quite different. The instruments are not closely mic for a lot of the songs. As well, the songs are mixed differently, especially the vocals. The vocals sound less natural than the first album.

About the theme of "Pale Blue Eyes"--- That's a hard one. I guess I would say that I've always been drawn to people who are very self-contained. You can see these people around you. I noticed them all the time. They seem to be completely unaware of their surrounding. They are usually in their own world. They almost seem like they have no self-consciousness. When they are in the room they might be absorbed in a task, to the point that they aren't aware of anything else. I equate innocence with such a quality, because I think children are very much like that.

The person that "Pale Blue Eyes" is about had such a quality. She was very elusive. And I basically wanted to break past her barriers and learn more about her. But I also knew that in some ways it was impossible, not because she wouldn't allow it, but because she was incapable of letting someone else enter her life. I always do wonder what became of her. I wonder if she is still the same, or whether she has turned into someone more social and open. But it's probably for the best I don't know this, because she has become in some ways a symbol for me that represents a certain type of person.

Parham

Here's a question I ask everyone:
What's playing on your gramophone right now? :-)

Barzin

1. “Boxer” by The National
2. “No Never Alone” by Justin Rutledge
3. “And Now That I'm In Your Shadow” by Damien Jurado
4. “Regarding The Shortness Of Your Breath” by BD Harrington
5. I am currently in the studio recording my new album, so I've been listening to the rough mixes of the songs trying to figure out what they need.
I’ll add two more that I forgot to mention:
“In Rainbows” by Radiohead (sample song)
“Party Girl” by China Girl

Parham

Great! Thanks.
If you wanted to be ONE artist among all those you listen to, who would it be?

Barzin

Ha. You are putting me in a tight spot here. Well, I personally know 5 out of 6 of the artists on that list. The only ones I don't know personally are the Radiohead boys. So, I guess I am curious to know what it would be like to walk in the shoes. And plus, they know how to write good, catchy songs.

Parham

Your favorite song by Radiohead?

Barzin

Right now, I would have to say it's "Weird fishes/Arpeggi." That's a great song.

Parham

On another note: Do you tour often? If so, where do you tour? I hear you come to Europe sometimes too...

Barzin

I tend to tour more around the time when a new album of mine is being released. That's when I usually go out and do shows. But that's very common. Usually, most bands tend to tour around the time of their release; more attention is often paid to them because of the reviews that come out around that time, as well as the buzz that has been generated by the PR company that is working to promote their album.

But I do have musician friends who tour constantly. It seems like they are on the road all year round. I admire them for that. They just don't stop, they keep going. I am thinking of giving that a try for my next album. Over the past few years, I seem to have done more shows and tours in Europe than in North America. The reason for this is because my label, Monotreme Records, has been able to organize really good and consistent tours in Europe.

Parham

Thanks Barzin, it's been wonderful having this conversation with you. I think among most of the people I've talked with, your answers have been very thoughtful and I appreciate that.
Is there anything you would like to add to our dialogue, or shall we call it quits here?

Barzin

I too have enjoyed out conversation very much. Thank you again for taking the time to do this. As I mentioned before, I think you've covered all the basics with your questions, and I can't think of anything else that I can add to our conversation. So, I will try and bow out of here with some semblance of grace before I stumble and make a fool out of myself by saying the wrong thing.


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more from Parham
 
Parham

Gisoo, Asita and Shahriar

by Parham on

Gisoo and Asita
Thank you very much indeed. Glad you enjoyed!

Shahriar
That's perceptive of you. In fact, the songs on the Kiosk download page are not all mentioned in the articles either. I've tried to assemble a bunch of songs that together, create a mood for the article and a feel for Barzin's music. If you put them all on one CD, together with a couple of songs from Barzin himself, you'll get a decent compilation of songs in the same style and a feel for what the genre is.
In this case, Barzin and I actually talked about a few of the songs on the page, but that was outside the material that was going to be published. Also, some of the tracks on the download page are Barzin's own favorites (like "How To Fight Loneliness" and "Yumeji's Theme"), or some of the bands are representative of who he was listening to while he was composing his "My Life In Rooms" album (like Mojave 3, Sparklehorse and Tram, for example). The rest has been mostly added by yours truly.


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Great Job !

by Gisoo (not verified) on

I did not know Barzin until now. However the very unique way of introducing his works in your article gave me a clear view of his music which seems to be interesting and fresh to Iranian society.
thanks and I will pass it on to my other friends as well.


Shahriar

Great Article!

by Shahriar on

Parham, "Barzin downloads" doesn't seem to be related to the songs that are mentioned in the article,..., or am I missing something?

Is there any local place (in Toronto) that Barzin performs out of? Just wondering...

Looking forward to hearing his new album soon.


Asita

Thanks Parham!

by Asita on

Thanks Parham jan, I really enjoyed reading this piece.


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