Writing about love


Writing about love
by Tahirih

One hot summer day, to be precise, one Friday the thirteenth of August, at about a quarter to three in the afternoon, I experienced the ultimate love , love of a sick mother.

My mother used to spend 6 months of the year with me , here in exile.Since her only daughter could not travel to Iran. Last time that I was pushing her wheelchair to the Gate of her flight she told me, don't cry  Tahirih, I will come back even if I have to crawl to your city.

She left and within couple of months had a stroke that left her with speech problem and memory loss.Last week on that hot summer day , to be precise Augest 13th at 3 in afternoon , she told me in her new style of talking , that she has decided not to come back to live with me. My heart sank, I was speechless, not able to find anything to say. She filled the silence with her stutter, and said I am happy in my home and country, I want to stay.

I had endless nights of crying and despair , why? why she does not want to see me, or die  in my house? have I been a bad daughter? Nothing made sense.

But couple of days ago as I was sitting on her bed, in her empty room in my house which is filled with her memory and presence,  the answer came to me. She had denied herself dying at her only daughter's house , the daughter that God gave her after  four sons, the daughter that she longed to have ,so her daughter is relieved from stress of care giving when she is alone without  the help of her siblings.

She has always loved me differently and now she has shown it once more by sacrificing herself again.

I will love her every waking moment of my life and to the end of time. I know that we will be united in another place , where there will be no more borders, prejudices, or pain.



Recently by TahirihCommentsDate
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Jan 08, 2009
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Dec 09, 2008
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more from Tahirih

To finish this tread on the subject of love:

by Tahirih on

On Children
 Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.




by Zulfiqar110 on

You asked what Baha'i has to be with this blog: my answer is absolutely everything! Mazlum-Nama'i, feigning victim-hood and pretending to innocence, as a strategic tactic and way to gratuitously garner and solicit sympathy, is one of the oldest (dirty) tricks in the bag of Baha'i propagandists -- or propagandists in general.


This woman's love for her mother is not the issue. I don't question it. Everyone love's their mother since love of mother is the foundation of all subsequent forms of love, from human to divine. What I do question are the real underlying motives behind posting this blog as a sort of whitewash effort by this woman to deflect attention from the valid criticisms being directed at her creed, and the utterly abusive and hateful responses being directed at such critics whenever they appear, which this woman herself has been prominently party to here.


Note that Sima came and posted a story about her experience with the fanatical lunacy of her husband's family only to have this woman here completely lambast the story with venomous drivel adding more insult to injury in the process. Given this, it is here where the issue of integrity comes to the fore revealing the blatant hypocrisy behind the motives of this blog where earlier not a modicum or iota of love and respect was forthcoming or extended to Sima who sincerely shared her story only to have to be faced with this woman's own fanatical lunacy and enranged lynch mob-inspired, sectarian pitch fork! And such sectarian lynch-mobism as displayed by this woman goes to the very heart of the behavior of almost anyone active online amongst her creed. Why? Because it is a typical manifestion of the Baha'i Orwellian group-think in the face of people with genuine concerns and criticism. "No one fights dirtier than they when they discover a voice they cannot silence and cannot refute,


Says Juan Cole. So who is this woman to preach about love to anyone?

Note that the Islamic Republic also regularly deflects attention from its problems and generally hypocritical nature with total blather and sugar-coated BS. Tune into IRIB sometime.


Suri, what else can one expect of you. 



by sophia on

Tahirih, what you said to SinaKhanum was outrageous and the depth to which you disrespected her story and sentiments in blind defense of your belief system is something that was quite rightly pointed out to you by her in the context of this discussion on the subject of love. Maybe it hurts being brought up in this context, but I hope you realize the impact of your statements to her. Your mother sounds like a woman of great sacrifice, and may blessings be upon her memory and your love for her. 


Pay attention to what I said exactly:

by Souri on

Dear Rosie

Sorry, I got back here just now and saw all (or part of the discussion)

Really, I don't know what did make you so angry :)

My response to Sinakhanum was only about the subject of "love" and what Tahirih has stated on this matter. Nothing else!

Read here please:

"But what Tahirih stated to you, about love, is the absolute truth!" :

(It must be hard loving someone and hating
the core of their being!

That's all!

My apologies to Sinakhanum and all others, if I have offended them.

rosie is roxy is roshan

The blog is about your mother, my first post titled

by rosie is roxy is roshan on

'Ignore Zulfiquar, Please 'Focus on Tahirihs' Story' (post still intact), apparently successfully ended a conversaton between a newcomer and Zulfiqar which was about to gobble up your blog, as his usually do. You didn't notice this, all you said to me was that everyone knows who Zulfiqar is. The newcomer did not know. I did that for your blog. Having 'exposed him in this way, I acutally owed it to him, and to myself, to find out why you said the things to that woman about not loving, and in a way hating her husband, for tellng a story whose veracity you did not doubt, about a Bahai family and group trying to destroy her marriage. I did owe it, because to ignore it would've been hypocritical. I asked you nicely, you said you didn't have to answer.

Out of respect to Nazy, I'm ending it here. Anyone who wants to contact me can do so privately.


Rosie ,dear:

by Tahirih on

I will pretend that I have never seen the not so kind personal mail that you sent me on my account, and instead I sincerely want to ask you to take couple of deep breaths, go out for a walk , meditate and calm yourself down.It does you good, and  also it gives my mother's blog the dignity that it deserves.

This blog is about my mother and I will not, answer anything else.

you know Rosie , the spot light should not be on us all the time , sometimes it is good to be observant and in the background, I do that most of the time.

have a good walk ,and this is my last response to you in this tread.



Some more thanks.

by Tahirih on

Dear Abarmard, thank you  for reading my blog and your response.

Lance, dear , thanks.





by LanceRaheem on

With all the white horses charging in, one has to tread carefully though your latest post lest one step in horse manure. You asked whether I read SinaKhanum's blog. As a matter of fact, I did read it.  Personally, I did not read anything in it that would have lead me to write what Tahirih wrote, but who am I to scold her for expressing her opinion.  These ladies clearly have differing personal experiences with the Bahai faith.  I do not express an opinion on it, for I know nothing about it. Perhaps, Tahirih could have been and should have been more diplomatic in expressing her opinion and I can easily see how SinaKhanum took offence to what was written.

Having said this, my personal opinion, which I cannot impose upon anyone, least of all you, is that this blog is an inappropriate forum to try to thrash out the difference of opinion these women obviously have.  This blog was a tribute to Tahirih's mother.  Common decency would dictate that it be hands off.  I'm sorry if I offended you because that was never my intent.



by Abarmard on

Very nice. Thanks


Thank you :

by Tahirih on

Dear Bahram, your really fair and just.

Dear Lance raheem, thanks for reading my blog and your kind comment.

Dear Anonymouse, thank you for the kind words, your right I will cherish her memory forever, and also will try to be as selfless as she was with my children.

Most tender regards for all ,


rosie is roxy is roshan

Lance, (re-written)

by rosie is roxy is roshan on

exing out my posts is not to hide anything from anyone and certainly not a gesture that you are right, Lance. It is a gesture of protest that they were POINTLESS. The brief summary (which I'm ONLY giving because your post remains, Lance, otherwise I wouldn't) is: the usual Bahai bashing starts right awy, I stopped it by showing a newcomer it's pointless to debate with Zulfiqar, here's why,-that post stands, could not edit out, he stops. Another newcomer , Sina,c ame with the post Tahirih had written on her blog about her marriage saying not only she doesn't love but in some way HATES her husband (did you read the linked blog and post Lance, you know so much that's 'obvious' about 'these two ladies'--a TOTAL newcomer. to the site..),

Souri comes charging in on her white horse to say, Tahirih is right about you, newcomer, you don't love your husband, and now that I've said so, no one else say anything, I ask Souri and Tahirih (having read both the newcomer's blog and Tahirih's charming post very carefully) nicely on what they base this claim that Sina doesn't love her husband. I tell Zulfiqar I'll talk to him elsewhere since he'd answered me (what should I do, I STOPPED his Bahai-bashing here and now this? what should I do, pretend to him I didn't see all this?) Tahirih comes charging in on her white horse saying I said Sina does not love her husband because I said it, I say that's not right, and it's NOT THE BAHAI TEACHINGS, you Lance come charging in on your white horse to tell me I'm stirring up the blog and other things you know because you say you know them (did you even read Sina's blog and Tahriih's whole comment? Rhetorical question). Now whoever wants to, repeat after me...love love love.. one two three...750! There! I "wrote love" in 750 words.

I said it below before...this series 'Writing Love' should be about what love really is, can be, should be, and what it's not. Tahirih did not want to discuss it. She said Sina does not love her husband because she said it, I have no right to ask, love love love, 750 words.


Touching story

by Anonymouse on

Touching story Tahirih.  One truly can't understand the pain of a parent and child(ren) during late stages of life when the parent becomes really sick.

However your parent leaves you, you'll always cherish their memories.  These memories guide us through life and more often than not we don't know it until we're truly on our own looking for ways to move forward, love and be loved, even how to handle yourself later in life. 

Everything is sacred.



by LanceRaheem on

Obviously, there is something going on between these two ladies.  Maybe it's a bit of bad blood, but I don't understand one thing.  In all humility, what's it to you?  It sure seems like you are trying to stir the pot here.  This was a nice blog.  Why can't you enjoy it for what it is instead of trying to turn it into something ugly.





rosie is roxy is roshan


by rosie is roxy is roshan on



rosie is roxy is roshan


by rosie is roxy is roshan on



Thank you dear Yolanda:

by Tahirih on

For your kind words, and your right everything is political to some!

Thank you Natalia jan, with your sweet farsi writing,I enjoyed your blog a lot too.

Sourie jan , thanks for your reply about my comment to sinakhanom.

Rosie dear I am done , and do not desire or want to explain my response to sinakhanom  or to anyone, what I said is what it meant.

and as for you sinakhanom =nur=zolfaghar , my response is=== silence! please respect the sanctity of my relation with my mother, and leave this tread alone unless you have something to say about your mother, or love! 




by B A H R A M on

Agha, kojaee in blog rajebeh Bahai cheeze neveshteh, man ke 4 dafeh in ra khondam az Bahai cheeze nadidan. yeke lotfan be man begeh ke in Zollie110 az koja fahmideh in khanom rajebeh Bahai dar harf mezaneh?. merci

rosie is roxy is roshan


by rosie is roxy is roshan on


Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez

Thank you for your story..........

by Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez on





by Souri on


I don't want to get into the detail...

But what Tahirih stated to you, about love, is the absolute truth!

What is wrong with this?

What is that you didn't like?

PS Nur : The subject of this blog is "love"....Not Tahirih, and Not the Bahai religion!

Please everybody, respect this space.



An example of Tahirih's loving writing to me

by SinaKhanum on

This was my first and so far only blog here


Harassed and punished for non-Baha'i marriage


And this is the 'loving' Baha'i response I got as comment from Tahirih

"I have tried to find a loving
flexible statement in your blog and to be honest with you there is
none. Dear I have to say that I do not sense any love coming from you
towards your husband either. It must be hard loving someone and hating
the core of their being!"
Enough said!





by Zulfiqar110 on

Offensive or not, you make wild unsubstantiated accusations without an iota of evidence, you will be put in your place as I put you in your place.


Ignore all you want. Your Bahaim friends are agitated nontheless.


A deeply touching story!

by yolanda on

A super kind daughter and a super understanding mom! Thank you for the beautiful article, it is from the heart! It is sad that someone is trying to make a very personal story "political"!





Thank you all for the kind words and support.

by Tahirih on

It was really hard to write about my mother, but she is the only one in my life who unconditionally cared for me, therefore naturally she was my choice for subject of love.

Ali P. , thank you for reading my blog and caring to leave a comment.

Dear Anvar: as you said I am content, content but sad, and you are right her love reaches me no matter if there is an ocean between us.

Dear Anonym: thank you , and I hope so.

dear sadchicagodad: thanks for your kind words, I told you before and will repeat it , I have learned a lot from your strength.

Souri aziz: thanks for reading and responding to my blog.

Dear MPD, thanks for dropping by and I know that you love your mother a lot too.

Faryar jan : thanks for the points.

Mona jan, hope we go to Iran together:)

Dear Alborz: thanks for dropping by, and yes,love and take good care of your parents while they are with you.

Rosie dear, don't worry every body on this site know who he is !!!

My dear Laleh: I understand what your saying,  my son is the reason to go on.I will be better.

Dear Nazy:Thank you , and I have to say that I do not have the gift of writing but this one came from depths of my heart and soul.I hope that she keeps her dignity to the last moment of her life.

As for the zulfaghar or nur or whoever he or she is, I do not have a reason to justify or legitimize my life story for you.just in case for future ,so you do not embarrass yourself again, you can read my other blog dated October 2008 " price of love " to know that I have already told the story of my mother and I !!



Nazy Kaviani

Dear Tahirih:

by Nazy Kaviani on

Welcome back! I am so touched by your sweet piece. Yes, I believe you are absolutely right. The ultimate gesture of love is selflessness and regard for the ones we love. A mother's love is unconditional and forever flowing, and whether she can travel or talk, your mother's love continues to flow toward you and your family. God bless her and save her in dignity and joy. Thank you.


My Sweet Tahirih:

by LalehGillani on

The tender, unwavering love between you and your mother is reborn every spring as Mother Nature fulfills the promise of life and brings forth the gift of our newborns.

Celebrate and safeguard the sacred life that grew in your mother’s womb…

rosie is roxy is roshan

Ignore Zulfiqar /Please focus on Tahirih's story

by rosie is roxy is roshan on

Zulfiqar is Nur and Nur is Zulfiqar and this is Nur and this is Zulfiqar.


This post was in response to one I had written on the fake Bahai Mona Tahirih's blog (about her, see just below) saying she was probably Nur, with good reasons for saying so. Then this Zulfiqar pops up out of nowhere with the post I just linked, defending himself by explaining no, he is Nur, and he has only been using the one false identity, Zulfiqar. Go figure. But the REAL point is the offensive language he used.

That is what you are 'debating' and that is as far as it will go.

Ignore Nur, ignore Zulfiqar, ignore the fake Bahai Mona Tahiri (not Tahirih, not Mona19, the name was chosen to confuse people) going around pretending to be really stupid and advocating with missionary zeal immediate conversion to Bahaism.

Ignore all Bahai-bashers on this site and the fake Bahai Mona Tahiri. It is the only way to deal with the problem. All else will fail.



by Anonym on

I am not saying all Bahai's are good, no, they are like all other human beings, good and bad. My impression from what I had seen from Tahirih's previous posts indicate that I can take her emotions and words as genouvine. If I'm wrong, then it's still not a big deal either.

I have already indicated that people, including Iranians, should be educated on all people and religions. You presented the facts about 'Ali Sina' and that educated many people and I'm grateful for that.


Thank you for sharing ...

by alborz on

... this wiht us.  Perhaps for those of us whoes parents are with us, it can be a reminder of how to value them while they are a "guest" amongst us.



Mona 19

That day will come Tahirih Khanum...

by Mona 19 on

when we'll be able to go back and visit our homeland,our fairest land Iran e hamisheh Javdan. My husband and I are longing for that day, but we're trying to be hopeful.

Thanks for sharing your beautiful tender story, which brought tears to my eyes,and forget about this heartless and hateful commenter.

Most regards, Mona ;)

P.S.Nice to hear from you, and I hope we hear from you more often.