Rendd

About Sohrab Sepehri

I must acknowledge that I have never heard of him. I was astonished by my ignorance.

All this time I had focused on the traditional Persian poetry. It had never dawned on me to search for the modern Persian poets.

Thank you Rendd for sharing this with me.

This is but one of his poems:

MORNING GLORY

Translated by Ismail Salami

Past the border of my dream
The shadow of a morning glory
Had darkened all these ruins
What intrepid wind
Transported the morning glory seed to the land of my Nod?

Beyond glass gates of dream
In the bottomless marsh of mirrors
Wherever I had taken a piece of myself
A morning glory had sprouted
Forever pouring into the void of my soul
And in the sound of its blossoming
I was forever dying in myself

The veranda roof caves in
And the morning glory twines about all columns
What intrepid wind
Transports this morning glory seed to the land of my Nod?

The morning glory germinates
Its stem rising out of my transparent sleep
I was in a dream
Flood of wakefulness overflowed.
To the view of my dream ruins I opened eyes:
The morning glory had twined all about my life.
I was flowing in its veins
It rooted in me
It was all of me
What intrepid wind
Transported this morning glory seed to the land of my Nod?

was he an American?

I am just curious how you got to know the Iranian community.

Not at all

First rest assured that I am not a therapist. I am but a humble Teacher. Nothing more and nothing less.

I actually considered being either a therapist or lawyer once but instead chose to be a Teacher.

When my divorce was final in 1998, I did not just move on. I don't wish to alarm you but I do not wish to lie to you. It took me years to fully recover.

I mourned in my own way....my own pace........

Yes, I know that it takes two to make or destroy a marriage. I also, understand well that if you are the only one trying then it will not happen. Even if you go to a therapist in hopes of saving the marriage.

I know it well because I lived through it.

I do not feel at all that you are being selfish. Your situation and your pain is very real. You have every right to feel as you do.

PS: haha Good one Rendd. I see that you have not lost your sense of humor. :o) Okay, then get a big roll of Brawnys.

By the way ...

I don't use Kleenex...I am a tough guy...I use Brawnys. ;O)

Natalia,

I hope you are not a therapist...are you? I have now two types of favorite people...Lawyers and therapists!

Well, I think there is a solution for every problem...first we've got to find the root cause. I am not the type to give up easily but I realized in a marriage there is not such a thing.

They've said Life is the best teacher unfortunately it tests you first then it teaches you a lesson.

I realized it takes two people to ruin a marriage and it'll take two people to build it. No matter how hard I tried I failed because the other side was not willing to meet in the middle. That was the lesson I learned. But did I know this before would I get still married?

This is said, but I am fine with the whole thing now...It just burns like hell if you find no answer to the question that you ask yourself everyday...

Do I forget about it? If yes then chances are I repeat it again and now that's the real scary part...

So when people tell me move on it gives me  the chill that I am doomed to repeat the same mistakes again...

Not that people don't know the pain. They do...Life is larger than a person. I try to avoid being the whiny one. I hate to be the self centered one. I hope I didn't make you feel that I am selfish.

I can assure you

that I know the meaning of pain and suffering very well. If I tell you my story you would need several boxes of Kleenex.

I have shared a lot on this web site through my blogs but there is sooooooo much more that I have kept well guarded.

I can also assure you that I had no therapist to help me with it. I did it all on my own. One step at at time.

As Abarmard said "this too shall pass".

Perhaps a good friend of mine can translate it for me. kheyli sepaas!

Yes, Rendd, it is your journey and only you know best how to deal with it.

Many of us on this web site will be here, if you ever need to talk about it. :o)

Best

PS: This is but a small sample of what I have endured. My Journey

Don't forget the box of Kleenex.

Natalia,

Thank you Natalia for your good heart. With all due respect Natalia I have a hard time to believe the cliche these therapists are trying to feed us with. I enjoy my pain. I sip it one by one and inhale it deep.

Maybe it's because I don't believe in pain killers. Maybe I believe that people need to experience some pain in order to get some compassion.

Gaah sangi keh be pa dashteham ...zeero bamhaye zameen ra be man amookhteh ast...Sohrab Sepehri

I hope somone with a good poetic vocabulary would translate this for you. If not then I will.

It will get better

A divorce is not the end of a person's life. It is the beginning of a new one.

Of course, we will always have ups and downs in life but it is how you face the challenges that makes the difference.

I was glad to read at the end of your blog that you saw hope...........

Happy Thanksgiving!

Nazy Thanks, that was one of my favorite songs from Nazeri...

now listen to this:

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=gliNv1eFF3w

Lyrics:

"What It's Like"

We've all seen the man at the liquor store beggin' for your change
The hair on his face is dirty, dreadlocked and full of mange
He ask the man for what he could spare with shame in his eyes
Get a job you fuckin' slob's all he replied

[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what it's like [x4]

Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom who said he was in love
He said don't worry about a thing baby doll I'm the man you've been dreamin' of
But three months later he said he won't date her or return her call
And she sweared god damn if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls
And then she heads for the clinic and she gets some static walkin' through the doors
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner, and they call her a whore

[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose
Then you really might know what it's like [x4]

I've seen a rich man beg
I've seen a good man sin
I've seen a tough man cry
I've seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie
I've seen the good side of bad
And the down side of up
And everything between
I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
Smoked the finest green
I stroked the fattest dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their heart
You know where it ends
Yo, it usually depends on where you start

I knew this kid named Max
He used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs
He liked to hang out late at night
Liked to get shit faced
And keep pace with thugs
Until late one night there was a big gun fight
Max lost his head
He pulled out his chrome .45
Talked some shit
And wound up dead
Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of his pain
You know it crumbles that way
At least that's what they say when you play the game

[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose
Then you really might know what it's like [x3]

To have to lose...

Thanks Nazy,

From all these ordeal what I could say was the most benficial that I realized I am not perfect and that's extremely liberating to me.
I now know how volenrable and fragile we are all. I apologize when I am wrong and most imortantly I now can see when I am wrong. This aside I can see also my strengths in contrast to my weaknesses that's why I am not afraid any more to say sorry while I mean it. I can't explain it but I feel that I am blessed while I feel that am also very hurt. Very hurt!
Thanks Nazy!
I still think love is beautiful! No, it's the most beautiful!

اندک ، اندک

اندک اندک جمع مستان می رسنـــد
اندک اندک می پرستان می رسنـــد

دلنوازان ناز نازان در ره اند
گلعذاران از گلستان می رسنـــد

اندک اندک زين جهان هست و نيست
نيستان رفتند و هستان می رسنـــد

جمله دامنهای پر زر همچو کان
از برای تنگ دستان می رسنـــد

لاغران خسته از مرعای عشــق
فربهان و تندرستان می رسنـــد

جان پاکان چون شعاع آفتــاب
از چنان بالا بپستان می رسنـــد

خرم آن باغی که بهر مريــمان
ميوه های نو ز مستانمی رسنـــد

اصلشان لطفست و هم واگشت لطف
هم ز بستان سوی بستان می رسنـــد

Dear Rendd

When we go through divorces and breakups after long relationships, it is only natural to think that our partner didn't just take his or her share of the household and assets, but all of what was once a thriving and bustling life within that household.

The truth, however, is that our partner only took him/herself away from our lives, not our entire lives. Our lives are intact, our characters, if a bit bruised, are still there, able to give joy and to experience peace and happiness again. The problem with in-laws and mutual friends in the immediate aftermath of a separation is something I, too, have experienced. The only thing this should be telling you is: Time for finding new friends!

There is a whole world out there, Rendd Jan, if only you would let yourself see and discover it. Some day soon, your eyes and your mind will see the new possibilities and you will know that there is life after a painful breakup.

I think your writing this blog is an important step forward toward that day. I thank you for writing it and for the chance to write something on it, conveying my own pains and tears which turned into solid experiences worth sharing with friends like you. I am saying a special thanks for knowing you, my friend.

Kareem Chakereem!

you know what they say, to get over someone you've got to get on top of someone...hey I even tried a strip club...for first time. My freinds even bought me a lap dance. Sitting in the dark room behind her was a TV showing porn video... I wasn't there mentally...she asked me if I was watching tv while she was performing her art, and I said yes...she said are you for real? I said, are you? she got pissed! then kicked me out...;O)

دنیا دو روزه نوکرتم

Why stay in an unhappy marriage?

You are meant to be happy, with someone who truely loves you, and you love her back.

Get up, dust off, and give it another shot.

SHE...is out there.

Bitter Jan,

I hear you...I don't know if it's going to happen or not and frankly I am even less concerned if it happens or not but I know one thing for sure that this has changed me forever, for a bad or good? don't know...

It's seems you've been through the same thing...I think I need more time to heal... but I am at peace now...

Omid,

Love your energy man...I am with you...I have discovered a pill that I take every morning...it works fantstically...it's called 'fuckitall'!

Thank god I am not in the bankrupcy situation YET...you know that Iranians who have been living mostly in Iran has learned unconciousely a thing or two about conservation and resource management ...I am in monetary hibernation stage for now. ;O) Don't know when I can wake up but still kicking once in a while....

Can't wait to buy a Harley Fatboy for a change...

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp8XjgARENs

Cheers!

Anahid,

Love your name, it's a pure persian name. I love your writing as well, it is amazingly simple which reflects your beautiful inner being. I am not hitting on you but wanted to tell you if no one has told you this before. Keep me showered with your words.

Thanks Abarmard...

I am thankful for the fire that forged my steel to get to this unique shape...Thanks bro!

Maryam,

khod kardeh ra tadbeer nist!...alami deegar bebayad sakht vaz noo adami... ba tashakor...

Don't worry about a thing

I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but believe me you will feel better about everything soon.  I know you're hurting now, but you will recover and you will be stronger than ever before.  Don't be shy to cry, it's part of the grieving process.  Your pain may seem like it will never end, but it will, as long as you "do" the right thing, take the right action, you will one day overcome all the obstacles in your life.  You will recover financially and well as emotionally, and you will be a better perosn for all the hardship you're going through now.

Most of the people on this website have been divorced at one time or another, so you're among some people who understand your pain.  If you want, you can contact me by my email link and we can exchange emails.  Don't be afraid to wash the pain out of your system.

Take care, you're not alone

Randd

Randd, 

I really hear the struggle in your post. You know what? Fuck Thanksgiving. It's a holiday with quite a bit of falsity; it's as shallow as the TV program actors that fabricated their joy. Real happiness can be enjoyed on any evening, and Thanksgiving is only a real holiday if that happiness ALREADY exists.

I encourage you to break free from the shadows and the past. Sell everything! File for bankruptcy! If you have a job, thank God! Keep it! Or look for another job. Be a bum. Whatever can make you happy. Move into a smaller place, where you can create new, positive memories for yourself and your freedom. You're a living person!

Shave your head, take a walk, do something risky, get to know yourself, call friends, write notes to people you know and love, young or old. Restart your engine! 

Yours,

Omid

Thanks that I saw Iranians fight for freedom

This year, I actually have thanks to give.  People in Iran showed "stebdad" that their days are numbered.  I connected with some old friends and I made some new ones.  I am still divorced but I give thanks for that too since being divorced is better than being in a bad marriage. 

I also give thanks because I had a somewhat long relationship this year and even though I am not in it any more, we are still friends.  I give thanks most of all because I am hopeful.  Both for my motherland and for myself and my family.  No one in family has fallen ill to some weird disease that I have had to familiarize myself on Internet about.  After all, for few years, it seemed that every year I was learning about a new sickness since family and friends were geting ill. Any way, no new diseases learned, that is good news.  

 I give thanks since whole world now knows that Iranians are a proud people who will not tolerate "estebdad".  Hopefully by next thanksgiving, I will be able to give thanks for "bahare azadi" in Iran.

No matter what

Everyone has something to be thankful for.

This too shall pass:)

Things get Better!

Things not stay the same always.  You are not alone, there are a lot of people like you who spend this holiday by themselves. 

Have a wonderful holiday to ALL!

Payandeh IRAN & Iranians