The day was bright today. Had to get out for a walk to shake off the thoughts! An 80 degrees beach day in November is something you just can’t pass on. Grabbed the leash and hooked it on Figment’s, that is my dog, collar and head out.
It has been really hot lately and it was a perfect day in Huntington Beach. The sand was as gold as they come and you could literally see the fish under the water. The manicured rows of beach houses were looking at the water with envy, as if all they wanted to do was to just jump in, once!
Figment was pulling me towards the beach. He was having the time of his life. I was deep in thoughts. I had just checked the post office site on the internet, and my un-employment claim form had not been delivered to the EDD office in Sacramento. I was not going to receive my check by this week. That meant yet another week of abject poverty. How am I going to pay this and that, her and him? My life sucks!
A class of dolphins passed by lazily on their way to a picnic perhaps.
How come I cannot find a job? Are they gonna call me for the second interview? I must be loser (whatever that means?). I have zero accomplishments. I have let everyone down. What is going to become of me?!
There was a wave, one of those big ones. The foam was as white as snow, as it rolled towards the sand. The perfect blue of the ocean, the perfect white of the wave and the perfect gold of the sand had made an amazing collage. They say as the big wave rolled in, you could see a big dolphin in it, just swimming.
I couldn’t say, as I had bent down to pick up Figment’s poop at the exact same moment. I neatly wrapped it in a plastic bag and held it like a precious cargo until I find somewhere that I could dump it. Figment beckoned me and ran off. He was enjoying the day to the fullest. I nodded and followed. Sometimes I wonder, between the dog and the man, which one is the master nowadays?
I was thinking about my life, replaying its ups and downs for the infinite times. Seems like a waste, my life that is! I am getting closer and closer to half a century and have no one to share my life with. Am I going to be alone and die alone? What if I go blind? I am half way there already.
Figment put his big paws on my lap and licked my face, waking me up from the thoughts momentarily. I looked at his lazy eyes and his face. He looked so much at peace. I wondered. What was he thinking at that moment? Then I realized that he was not! Guess that’s why he looked so peaceful. One of the privileges of being a dog is being outside the roam of constant chattering of thoughts. All dogs are in heaven. Bliss! If I could only, just for a moment…..
Gotta rush back! I’ve got interviews to go to and resumes to send out. Running back to my temporary place of residence, worrying about the future, regurgitating the pain of the past, I had managed to waste yet another gift, another Present.
When I die, I’d like to come back as Figment.
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