Chop Chop!


Chop Chop!
by Nazy Kaviani

The scissors moved quickly and expertly, chop chop, I could hear the work in progress, but I didn’t wish to see.  Past that early jolt when my ponytail was cut off in one move, I didn’t want to see.  I kept my eyes closed and instead, I heard the sound of the comb running through my wet hair and the chop chop of the scissors.

I travelled through my thoughts and my reflections, memories and wishes, longings and sadnesses, hoping to organize my head as it was being relieved of all the extra weight.  I didn’t want to think about turning ugly or undesirable, because I didn’t want to think “for whom?”  Chop chop the scissors went. 

I remembered my friend Soussan in the last days of her life, bald, missing her beautiful eyelashes and eyebrows from round after round of chemotherapy, drugged up and unreachable. 

I thought of Hadi’s sister in Montreal who is also going through chemotherapy to deal with Leukemia. 

Chop chop, I listened, and thought about life as it is and as it goes on, about how much fault we find with here and now, how we worry more about what is missing than what there is.  I thought the sad thoughts of loss and longing. 

I thought about the tears that had been building up in a pond just behind my eyes, unpermitted to move, unforgiven if disobedient.  I thought about the young love happening in my home, and the twinkle which keeps surprising me in my son’s eyes.  I thought about opening that audio file and my unexpected delight at hearing my son sing a complete song in it.  I thought about the delightful taste of pomegranates and yogurt on my tongue, when he encouraged me to “just try it.”  I thought about all the last gazes and kisses, embraces and unuttered words of goodbye, repeated a million times in my life.  I could feel the disobedient pond moving forward and sliding on my cheeks, catching the snippets of hair on their way down.  I couldn’t hear the chop chop anymore, but I didn’t want to open my eyes to see.

I looked in the mirror.  It was still me, with short hair.  Life was intact.  Hope was still around.  My face needed a good washing.


I donated my hair to Wigs For Kids today.


Recently by Nazy KavianiCommentsDate
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more from Nazy Kaviani
Multiple Personality Disorder

It’s a smile

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

Your blog gave me bereavement and fright, about fragility of life, your friends, and goodbyes in our lives, whether said or unuttered, yet it was also life-affirming, hence the smile.  A frontal shot would’ve been a delight.

Nazy Kaviani

Thank you all!

by Nazy Kaviani on

Heeh! I'm slowly getting used to my new hairdo! Next I think I will color it a different shade to increase the shock value on everyone's face! Should I try blue?!

A healthy person's hair grows back in no time at all. Life itself must be cherished and celebrated.

Anonymous Fish: I will be honored.

Multiple: Is that a smirk?! Heeh! We should hear about what they are planning to do with us in lieu of furloughs this week. I would prefer a furlough to layoffs, which is what we are hearing. Count your blessings!

Multiple Personality Disorder

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by Multiple Personality Disorder on

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Thanks Nazy!

by Rendd on

As beautiful as always!



by javaneh29 on

How completely brave and generous of you. I appreciate just how agonizing it must have felt at the time as I went through a period of time loosing my hair. I really admire you for what you have done and I am imagining the pleasure and relief it will bring some unlucky child.

Beauty shines in many ways.


anonymous fish

Thank you Nazy

by anonymous fish on

I read your story several times before thinking that I would like to send it to my sister.  We didn't lose her but she lost her hair after an extremely long and arduous bout of chemotherapy.  An annual Christmas party was her first appearance without the dreadful wig and I will never think she was any more beautiful than she was that day with her 1" spike "do".  It had been her crowning glory and she felt less a woman without it, no matter what we said.  It was her scariest moment and our proudest.

I'd like your permission to do so.  Thank you so much for this reminder.


Nazy jan,

by Princess on

You are a beautiful person inside-out and it comes through your every single piece of writing. I am sure you look as beautiful as ever with short hair. Thank you for being a continuous source of inspiration!

By the way, apologies for a profane question, but the "sheksmoo" in me cannot resist, do you eat the pomegranates and yogurt together? I love each separately, but it had never occurred to me to try them together. I shall do so next time.   

bajenaghe naghi

Nazy jan

by bajenaghe naghi on

you did some thing very noble and kind today. it is so sad to see cancer patients feeling so detached from every one just because they have lost their hair. i see a lot of cancer patients with either no hair or with their head covered with a wig. i do not see a bald person but a very beautiful person fighting a dreadful disease. once i saw the whole family, five in all, with shaved heads. they had done this in support of the one with the disease. no one knew which one had the cancer since they all looked alike. 

giving to those who need help is the most beautiful and human thing to do. to me nazy jan you are a very beautiful human being for what you did today.

Darius Kadivar

Beautiful gesture Nazy Jaan

by Darius Kadivar on

And touching testimony.

I am sure you look fine with short hair too ;0)

Warm regards from Paris,



My best friend is dying from cancer

by Tahirih on

and my heart is broken.  I try to talk to her a few times a week, she lives far from me. She may have a few weeks or a few days, and she is in pain and so young to go.

I don't want to let go, but she has already accepted the defeat to this horrible disease. She is the only person that I could call on a dark day and she would cheer me up. Now I am trying to do the same for her. every time I am ending our conversation by saying, I love you...,since it could be the last time. I was going to write a blog about it, but at this point it is too painful.

Thanks for donating your hair, I am sure that your soul is very beautiful with the new hair cut.

With a broken heart,




ebi amirhosseini

Nazy Jaan

by ebi amirhosseini on

me,khashayar,no like shorti shorti  hair!!

me,khashayar,macho macho irooni !!


Ebi aka Haaji


New Hairdo mobarak basheh

by IRANdokht on

How beautifully you expressed all these emotions and teared me up as you often do with your deep emotional writing.

I am sure your hair looks great but I want to see a clearer picture of it :0)

Merci Nazy jan


I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek

Life IS beautiful but also short, like your hair.

by I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek on

Because of people like you, who show others how to appreciate that beauty. Nazy your sense of values is incredible to me. I lost a friend a year go, not to cancer but when you know about loss, you appreciate things - not everything - but the good things. The music, the emotion of life. We are so fortunate to feel that and even more fortunate that others like you are willing to see that - even if it means chopping off your beautiful hair. 

Thank you. Sorry for gushing. Couldn't help it.