Chat: The Inaugural Ball!


Nazy Kaviani
by Nazy Kaviani

I can’t remember when in recent times I have laughed as much as I did over the past couple of days!  Quite by accident, along with a group of other users, I managed to have myself one non-stop party, hanging out with good friends and completely neglecting my life for a couple of days!

It all started when admin announced that the long-awaited chat feature of the site had been installed on a trial basis.  I have deliberately given up instant messaging for a couple of years now, because I know from experience that once you get sucked into this chatting business, it’s really hard to give it up.  Anyhow, I went to see the new, as-yet-test-version of the chat feature, and I stuck around to help “test” it by attempting to break it!  First with Jahanshah and later on with admin, I managed to find out some interesting things about the software, reporting my findings to admin.  As I stayed intermittently online, other curious users dropped in and I tried to help them learn their way around the software.  When I returned from a meeting at around 6:00 p.m. on Monday, I rejoined the chat session and continued to bang away at it; only this time there were a few other ba hal users present and we started an impromptu inaugural party for the chat section!  We were passing drinks, doing chaagh salaamati, and telling jokes.  Pretty soon we started putting money in our imaginary jukebox and playing music, too, with participants joining in to sing along and dance.  Don’t ask me how we were doing this, you just had to see it for yourselves to believe me!  Suffice it to say that when you get a bunch of writers with imagination in a room, albeit virtual, they can get pretty creative imagining props, scenarios, and behaviors!

The party was in full swing by about 8:00 p.m. with TheMrs, Flying Solo, Ali P., Khar, admin, Souri, Mourche, and myself, among others, having tequila shots, singing and dancing in the chatroom, and several other users were dropping in and out to visit, some staying on and some leaving after their curiosity fix.  Everybody greeted the newcomers and showed enthusiasm for the party in progress.  At this time we got an unexpected visitor—Q!  Now all those who follow the political features and blogs know Q to be a pretty serious and steadfast blogger, who is always cordial and polite in his tenacious and articulate arguments.  I must admit I have also, on one or two occasions, seen glimpses of Q’s sense of humor, but what usually makes him stand out for me is the nonstop attacks he has received from some users in the past and his uncanny dedication to staying in dialogues and speaking his mind. 

When he arrived the chat session on Monday night, people greeted him with delight and he said a few words to greet people back and remained quiet.  We could all see his name on the participant list, so we knew he was still around, just not saying much.  I tried to welcome him by attempting a joke (but with a qualifier first) about “fancy meeting our 'resident IRI apologist, etc. etc.' here!“ (terms he has most unfortunately been called by his least graceful opponents), to which he gave a ho-hum response.  I did briefly consider opening my mouth and putting my foot in it, but shrugged the feeling off and continued to offer everyone shots of this and that and passing the mast-o-khiar and nachos plates around instead!  Watching the rest of us having such a juvenile and jovial time, in a few more minutes Q made a remark (and unfortunately I can’t remember the exact words he used now), to the effect that the atmosphere in the chatroom appeared somewhat overly jovial, while the atmosphere in the comments section appears too reflective and serious, his remark aimed to highlight the contrast.  Shortly after making this observation, he bid us farewell and left.  I did regret his veiled disapproval of our conduct, but I didn’t fret over it too much, as we were too busy continuing to party!

The crowd had a really good time and pretty soon they East Coasters started leaving one by one.  I was testing the “private chat” feature with Flying Solo.  During our chat something bizarre happened!  We were talking about writing (honestly!) and I typed the word “sexual” on the message bar and the minute I pushed SEND, the three letters s e x were replaced by asterisks upon transmission!  Apparently, the chat software has a filter that detects and masks the word “sex!” 

I returned to the main chatroom to find the sleepless East Coasters  Ebi Amirhosseini and Ali P. online, chatting with admin.  As I had done all day, I relayed my new finding to admin.  He was really surprised and we chatted a moment about what other words may be considered no-no’s by the software!  So, in reaction to these unfolding findings, our “spontaneous test group” was typing “bad words” to see which ones were filtered.  Someone typed “shit,” another typed “boobs,” as yet another typed “tits” and a fourth person proceeded to type “pussy” and “dick,” while a couple of overzealous ones (not me!) started typing Farsi bad words when at this very moment, who should enter the chatroom, but Q!  Oh My God!  Can you imagine?!  He had thought we were frivolous and superficial earlier, and now he had walked right into a scene which must have looked like some “up until yesterday respectable” members of the site were acting seriously badly!  For a few seconds we all froze!  We didn’t know what to say!  Finally I said “Q, I know how this might seem to you, but we were actually testing the software!” to which he simply said:  “It’s O.K. Nazy, you don’t have to explain anything!”  When I kept trying to explain again, Q said: “I’m not your father!”  Oh My God!  Things looked really bleak, especially because admin had taken a break and was nowhere to be seen!  When admin finally showed up and started saying some geeky, softwary things which backed up our seemingly preposterous claim, things started to look up for us!

Q stayed a bit longer this time and chatted with us, and it was fun talking and joking with him about many things.  When he left we didn’t feel as awful as we had earlier!  Pheeewwww!  That was something else!

Our inaugural celebration continued yesterday, while new users joined us and the “by now locals” came back for another Happy Hour of socializing and laughing.  I think admin is getting ready to move the chat test to a more permanent place after this.  It was a pleasure to help test the software and to get to know so many of you a little better.  I hope you enjoy the experience of chatting with fellow users.  As for me, the Inaugural Ball experience will be a lasting and memorable one for a long time to come!  Let’s just say some things around here will never be the same again!


P.S.  In case you want to try this at home, here's the chat page: //


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by Monda on

I just emailed you Ayatollah Hassani on chat rooms. I wanted to share it with everyone here but I didn't know how. It's on MP3.


Nazy jan

by Monda on

Not to play precious but I had a long day and just had my dinner. If  you do chelo kabob or tahcheen baa ghormeh sabzi then maybe I'll join you during lunch time? (didi khodamo nonor kardam baraat!?) I don't have a clue what you mean by having drinks or nachos in there. No needs to explain, I will find out soon enough.

Khosh Baasheen!  Doostaan be jaaye maa


برادر دوستداشتنی مجید اقا


باز الحمدالله که شما چت روم هم رفتین و میدونین چه خبرهاست. منکه نرفتم چی بگم؟ مگه هنوزم برقها میره؟! اون مردم نازنین ماشالله شون باشه هر چی بسرشون بیاد از شوخی غافل نمیشن. ممنون از دلداریت

Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez

I would not worry too much about Q

by Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez on

He has posted some stuff on the web that has shocked the h*ll out of me.

So, he actually joined you all on the chat room.

I also joined you all in the chat room and had to leave because Margaritas on the rocks were not allowed. :o)

I was having a pretty good time up to that moment. hahaha

Ebi, Mrs, Nazy was that the day Q joined you all.

Any how I am sure he will join you all again from time to time.

 Catch ya laters......


Nazy great blog.....

Nazy Kaviani

Majid and Monda

by Nazy Kaviani on

Baba, chera aziat mikonin akheh?!! You should just come and try it!

I was only trying to explain what happened during that one night when things were going really surreal on us! If you come and take a look, you will see how you will become "shokoofa" in the company of fun people! For example, one of the most creative users with props and imaginative scene changes is Khar. Bahram9821 provides music, and we have poetry from Redwine, and malek_shoara.

Come and try it you guys! There will be a barbequeue party tonight starting at 6:00 p.m. Pacific. You will see what your imagination does once you enter the scene! See you there!


ماندا خانوم.........




 غصه نخور همشیره خدای ما هم بزرگه، ما «نویسندهء خلاق» نیستیم ولی «خوانندهء مشتاق» ها هم خدایی دارن.......
امّیدوارم بحق پنش تن آل عبا دفهء دیگه که دور هم جمع شدن و کیفشون کوکه و دارن خیلی حال میکنن واسه نیم ساعت  برقشون بره تا دیگه نیان اینجا و دل ماهایی رو که اونموقع دنبال یه لقمه نون و بوقلمون و خاویار و کِراکِر و شامپاین بودیم بسوزونن!

حیف که دیگه حال و حوصلهء چت روم رفتن رو ندارم وگرنه......

راستی گفتم برقشون بره یاد این افتادم ....
میگن تو ایران برق که میره بلافاصله مردم یاد چهار نفر میافتن...........پدر و مادر ادیسون و خوار مادر احمدی نژاد!


You got me really curious now!

by Monda on

Nazy jan I loved your report! Here's my thing though, even if I'm curious to try your parties, you wrote that "when a group of creative writers are in a room there's always fun & laughs". Now the shy quiet child in me is feeling insecure about joining you khosh mashrab guys but then again the more grounded adult in me is going to smack that child's hiney telling her to join in for the the fun of it. 

Red Wine


by Red Wine on

مهماني براي هموطنان قاره اتازوني بوده...از پيرنشينان اسمي نميبينم.

ebi amirhosseini

I lost my "chat room virginity" on that night!!

by ebi amirhosseini on

What a great night it was!.

Ebi aka Haaji


For the record, if I drank

by TheMrs on

For the record, if I drank anything it’s because I was confused about the italics and people just kept shoving the alcohol down my throat!!! It was all against my will I tell you, against my will....

anonymous fish


by anonymous fish on

i love it!  y'all truly are the best of the best.  solo explained it soooooo completely right-on.

and i always BYOB... :-0

dang.  what are we going to do at home... we only have one

Flying Solo


by Flying Solo on



dear AF, How I feel?

by Souri on


This is great! As I told them, I am not a chat type. Maybe being too old, or somewhat too serious, I've never been attracted to chatting. Now, it's different, because it is with a group that you already know since a year or two (even more!!) then it is really interesting.

I invite all of you to come there tonight :-))

By for now, goint to work right awa, rush rush

anonymous fish


by anonymous fish on

that was great...:-))  it will be interesting to see how a "chat room" with interface with this "community blog" personality.  it will be hard to go from insulting someone to chatting with them.  :-)  but perhaps that might be exactly the kind of positive outcome one could hope for!

but this was absolutely the funniest thing i've read... so... HUMAN!

souri.  you're right.  you always feel kinda like "what's going on that i don't know about" in a chat room.  especially when you come and go often.  but i think it's fun... how do you feel about it in general?

Flying Solo


by Flying Solo on



Not guilty !

by Souri on

I laughed my head out, Nazy jan. This was hilarious!!

Actually, I didn't know that story. My story is, I was there, when Q entered in and then I left before he leaves for the first time.

When I came back he was already left for the second time, I couldn't get why you were all laughing, didn't know what you were talking about, then I asked and you said you will blog about it.

Now, that I learned what happened there, I discovered what a bunch of

"frivolous and superficial" you are, I will be very careful not to walk in there :-)