Satire of the day


Satire of the day
by Multiple Personality Disorder

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei claims the promotion and teaching of the artform is not compatible with country's sacred regime.  He said today: "Although music is halal, promoting and teaching it is not compatible with the highest values of the sacred regime of the Islamic Republic."He continued to say, although lamb meat is halal, sheep farming, and eating the meat for pleasure, is not compatible with values of the most sacred religion in the universe.  At the same time he emphasized that although  having Islamic sex is halal, one should not engage in non-halal sex, or teach it to the others, or you know, promote it, because that would be like pornography.  Also, while having halal sex no one should make sex talks out loud, because the next door neighbors might hear it and enjoy it.

He said:"It's better that our dear youth spend their valuable time in learning science and essential and useful skills and fill their time with sport and healthy recreations instead of music."  He then went on to say, but course you must be careful while playing any kind of sports, your hairy legs must not show, because that would be incompatible with Islam.  Also, while you engage in healthy recreational activities make sure you don’t play any music, just do it in total silence.  For example, if you are doing break dancing, just get down on it and twist and turn.  Up, down, up, down, now twist, yek, doo, seh.  Do it in your head, while your head is on the floor.  Afarin!  You don’t need music you see!  Music was invented by the West to corrupt the Basijis.  Yek, doo, seh.

Do it in total silence.

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by yolanda on

Hi! MPD,

     I went to a Persian restaurant 2 days ago in Beijing.....I ate there and took pictures is as hot as Arizona plus Texas....I will be back coming Thursday......I will catch up with your blogs for sure.....

p.s.     The Persian restaurant owner can speak Mandarin according to the waitress.....your people are too smart!

take care!

Multiple Personality Disorder

Wow Yolanda!

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

Beijing!  Wow!  We were wondering where you were.  Have a great time in China, and don't fall off the edge.



by yolanda on

Hi! MPD,

    I am in Beijing now.......Halal restaurants are all over here.....I took a lot of photos.....

Thank you for posting Rumi's poem. It is beautiful!


take care!


if not promot/teach music, it is a death sentence nonetheless!

by MM on


Multiple Personality Disorder

Rahbar told me:

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

In regards to endorphins, "Although endorphins are halal, producing them during exercise, excitement, pain, consumption of spicy food, and orgasm is not compatible with the highest values of the sacred regime of the Islamic Republic."

In regards to touch phones, "Although touch phones are halal, drawing pleasure from them while raping, torturing, or executing Evin prisoners is not compatible with the highest values of the sacred regime of the Islamic Republic. Just do your earthly raping, torturing, and executions without pleasure and thou shall receive your heavenly rewards after your departure from this world."



by Esther on

MPD, it is a great misfortune of my life that I don't know Farsi. As far as I know, that translation is from "The Soul of Rumi" by Coleman Barks (who doesn't actually know Farsi, either). He cites to poem #782 among the odes and quatrains in Furuzanfar's 8-volume edition of "Kulliyat-e-Shams" (Tehran: Amir Kabir Press, 1957-66). Perhaps someone else can trace it further!


Look! The dead come stumbling by in shrouds

by gunjeshk on

Look! The dead really came stumbling by in shrouds!

Whoops no, its just the Supreme Leader and his henchmen


are endorphins halaal?

by Monda on

just wondering... Good one MPD :o))

Ari Siletz

Dear Rahbar

by Ari Siletz on

Are touch tone phones halal? They make musical beeps when you dial. There's a debate here at Evin prison between our rape specialists and our executioners as to which type of phone is morally allowed. Please respond ASAP because if we're using the wrong phones we would have it on our conscience forever. 

Multiple Personality Disorder

Dear Divaneh'e aziz,

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

As I understand it now, halal things are now under closer scrotiny by rahber. Beside music, lamb, and sex, I wonder what would be next.

Thank you for your comment.

Multiple Personality Disorder

Thank you Esther,

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

I found the rest of the poem that you posted online.  It is the translation of Molana's poem in English, but I didn't find the original version of it in Farsi.  If you know of it please post it here.  Thank you for your comment.

The Music We Are

Did you hear that winter's over?
The basil and carnations
Cannot control their laughter.
The nightingale,
Back from his wandering,
Has been made singing master over the birds.
The trees reach out their congratulations.
The soul goes dancing
Through the king's doorway.
Anemones blush
Becasue they have seen the rose naked.
The only fair judge,
Walks in the courtroom,
And several December thieves steal away.
Last year's miracles
Will soon be forgotten.
New creatures whirl in from non-existence,
Galaxies scattered arounf their feet.
Have you met them?
Do you hear
The bud of Jesus crooning the cradle?
A single narcissus flower
Has been appointed Inspector of Kingdoms
A feast is set.
Listen: the wind is pouring wine!
Love used to hide inside images: No more!
The orchard hangs out its lanterns.
The dead come stumbling by in shrouds.
Nothing can stay bound
Or be imprisioned.
You say, "End this poem here, and wait for what's next."
I will.
Poems are rough notations
For the music we are



You said it MPD

by divaneh on

While sex is halal, promoting it is not halal which means mums, aunties and sisters who keep match finding are criminals.


Dear Khamenei, as Rumi said ...

by Esther on

... Nothing can stay bound or be
imprisoned. You say, "End this poem here,

and wait for what's next." I will. Poems
are rough notations for the music we are.


Multiple Personality Disorder

Helloooooooooooo Adminnnnnnnnnnnn IT guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

The text formating whatchamacallit is messed up.  I took me ten thousand times to post it, and I don't dare to edit it anymore.