Farewell eHarmony

Balatarin
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Farewell eHarmony
by Multiple Personality Disorder
01-Sep-2009
 

Valerie talked about gender equality
She was unemployed in reality
Melanie was from Colorado
stopped communicating long time ago
Sophie was from China
She was fine, I swear
But she didn’t know nothing about Tiananmen Square
There was a lady from L.A.
Her sister emailed me:
"Suzy died in a horrible accident in the highway."
But I think she didn't wanna see me again
There was a Mexican woman from Houston
We didn’t even make it to a luncheon
But it was all my fault
I admit
I didn’t wanna learn a new language

And then there was Patty
She was sixty-one
And I was…
Well, never mind, let's move on
Deana was an Armenian architect
She was stable, turned me down, I was wrecked
Another Sophie was into skydiving from the air
And I was looking forward to my first La-Z-Boy Chair
Gloria was from Reno
Gambled her money away in Keno
Ashraf lived in Merced
Wanted me to dye my hair
Try to look younger, she said
Sonia was from Argentina
She had the looks
She worked hard
All she needed was a Green Card
Monica (not to be confused with Lewinski)
Lived near by, but didn’t like my Kia Sephia
Kate was into horseback riding
Not so good with my back aching
Becky was a fine mountain biker
She told me I can have her, if I caught her
They had to rescue me with a helicopter
In her pictures, Olga looked like sticks
When she was thirty-six
But now in person she looks like Sphinx
Deb was so intelligent
4 BSs, 3 Masters, 2 PhDs
4 Corvettes, 2 houses, 1 teenage boy
Missing in her life was a man to be her toy
Forough was from the Bay
She had 3 children
She neglected to say

There was another one
I can’t remember her name
She had nine cats in her photo frame
There were several from Canada
I wish I kept an accurate data
Merry-go-round
I mean she really sleeps around
Around and around
eHarmony was her hunting ground
Patty was from Bradford
Don’t know what happened
I guess didn’t know how to use the keyboard
Ronda was from Main
She was…, how can I say it
Never mind again
Sandra was a fine nurse
Never married, never had a boyfriend, never had a child
Never knew how to be wild
Karen was her nickname
She was a doctor
A neurosurgeon
And I, a Persian
But, she wanted me to become Christian
Carol, also a nurse
But too shy, too terse
Kate is from Sedona, Arizona
She might as well be from Russia, China,
Cuba, Florida, Ghana,...
I rather watch the show trial with the man in his pajama

Farewell elusive love
Farewell Lucy, Jackie, Anny,…
Farewell eHarmony
Thank God my subscription expired
I've seen nothing to be inspired
Don't send me no more profiles
you're just making stockpiles
Don't send me discounts
I don't give a shit, not even one once
Don't give it to me for free
Don't talk to me about grantee
Don't send me dating instructions
I still have a dozen Trojans

Farewell!
Farewell eHarmony.com
Hellooo muslimsingles.com

Balatarin
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more from Multiple Personality Disorder
 
Multiple Personality Disorder

Sharareh Golshani, I just learned how to track my blogs

by Multiple Personality Disorder on Sat Oct 10, 2009 01:52 PM PDT

I see that there are a whole bunch of comments on my previous blogs that I never replied to.  Thanks for reading. 


  •  
Sharareh Golshani

وااااای ام پی دی جون

Sharareh Golshani
Tue Oct 06, 2009 06:40 PM PDT

مردم از خنده...عالی بود 

شراره

 

 


  •  
yolanda

Hi! MPD,

by yolanda on Sun Sep 06, 2009 02:46 PM PDT

This poem is a masterpiece. I hope you do the double-dipping or even the multiple-dipping to publish this poem in more sites. This way your poem can get more exposures and have bigger audiences! If there is an Iranian.com on the Moon, please don't hesistate to sumbit this poem! Good luck!

sincerely,

yolanda


  •  
Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez

I almost forgot

by Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez on Sun Sep 06, 2009 12:46 PM PDT

I know of two women that met their husbands through  online dating. So it could be a good thing for some

ناتاليا


  •  
Anonymouse

Since there are so

by Anonymouse on Thu Sep 03, 2009 03:07 PM PDT

Since there are so many experiences, I think Online dating can be another writing assignment like the recent ones Nazy Kaviani started.

Nazy Kaviani are you listening?!

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwHWbsvgQUE&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eiranian%2Ecom%2Fmain%2Fblog%2Fjahanshah%2Djavid%2Fanonymous%2Dno%2Dmore&feature=player_embedded

Everything is sacred.


  •  
bambi

Fuuny stuff.  So true what

by bambi on Thu Sep 03, 2009 12:23 PM PDT

Fuuny stuff.  So true what you wrote.  I have a few nighmares of my own with online dating. 


  •  
Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez

Hilarious! I almost fell of my chair laughing.....

by Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez on Wed Sep 02, 2009 07:32 PM PDT

hahahaha

Mouse,

That article was priceless. My sons actually did go into a bit of shock when it was my turn to get a romantic life. They are doing much better now with the idea of me having a boyfriend.

****************************

MPD,

That video Mambo5 is perfect for ya! Hilarious poem....

Maybe you should try iranianpersonals.com

Best of luck!


  •  
Red Wine

...

by Red Wine on Wed Sep 02, 2009 07:18 PM PDT

بهترین لذت در اینجور مسائل این است که به صورت زنده شخص را ببینی‌ و چشم در چشم با ایشان لاس بزنی‌ و معاشقه کنی‌ ! این شیوه جدید دختر بازی آن‌ لاین دیگر چه خر بچه صیغه است !؟!؟

 به ما ایرانیان اینجور دلقک بازی‌ها خوش نیاید که ما از ما بهترانیم و دیگران از عالم دیگر که مونث را دل‌ خوشی‌ نشاید !

از مطلب شما درس گرفتیم . سپاس گذاریم .

 


  •  
bajenaghe naghi

multiple personality disorder jan

by bajenaghe naghi on Wed Sep 02, 2009 02:49 PM PDT

that was such a good poem that i read it twice. :-)

 


  •  
Anonymouse

You say goodbye, they

by Anonymouse on Wed Sep 02, 2009 11:34 AM PDT

You say goodbye, they say hello!  hello, hello, you say goodbye, they say hello ;-)

//www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/09/02/lw.parents.edating/index.html

Everything is sacred.


  •  
Fouzul Bashi

This is what you reminded me of

by Fouzul Bashi on Wed Sep 02, 2009 11:14 AM PDT


  •  
yolanda

Thanks,

by yolanda on Wed Sep 02, 2009 08:13 AM PDT

Very funny indeed! You must have tons of knowledge, talent,  humor, and free time! This is my favorite segment, which cracked me up big time:

And I, a Persian
But, she wanted me to become a Christian
Carol, also a nurse
But too shy, too terse
Kate is from Sedona, Arizona
She might as well be from Russia, China,
Cuba, Florida, Ghana,...
I rather watch the show trial with the man in his pajama

My favorite line is

I rather watch the show trial with the man in his pajama

Thank you soooooo much for writing such a comical poem! I think you can be a freelance joke writer! 

yolanda


  •  
Anonymouse

I think there are

by Anonymouse on Wed Sep 02, 2009 06:15 AM PDT

I think there are few songs that name the women the singer has dated.  I can't think of the name of those songs, the only one I can remeber now is Willie Nelson's to all the girls I loved that he duet once with Johny Carson!  Good blog. 

Everything is sacred.


  •  
Anahid Hojjati

E-harmony sends e-mails to me but do I have to harmonize?

by Anahid Hojjati on Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:19 AM PDT

dear MPD, one late night, I took e-harmony test out of boredom.  I told them that I like travelling around the world and they sent me the profile for a merchant marine who is 20 years older than me.  That did not give me good impression of their service and they still keep sending me their e-mails which so far I have not used. However, sometimes, they present good articles about relationships.


  •  
Azarin Sadegh

My little rap song for your new adventure!

by Azarin Sadegh on Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:47 PM PDT

Khadija cooks well but only CousCous with chicken, 

Zeinab washes the clothes, but doesn't touch my kitten,

Zahra read koran but is a terrible hummer

Somaya is cute, but a suicide bummer!

Even if Kate , Jane and Mary were a bit phony 

Still all I can think of…is their shiny hair on Eharmony!

Azarin

PS: It is just a joke, everyone!

 


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