Free at last

Free at last
by Jahanshah Javid

The first time I saw my sister Jamie (Jamileh) was I think in Los Angeles in 1975, when I was visiting the U.S. with my father. She was my mother's first child from her first marriage. Jamie and a few other mentally-disabled "children" were being taken care of by a family paid by the state of California.

Jamie was thrilled to see us. She was sitting on a chair, hands on her knees, laughing and smiling like a sweet little girl. She was in her early 20s.


In 1992, my mother had gone through her fourth (fifth?) divorce and was living alone in Florida. She took Jamie out of state care and brought her home. But after a couple of months it became obvious that living with Jamie was easier said than done. Even with all the numbing pills, she was a challenge. She may have had the mental capacity of an eight-year-old, but in many ways she was an adult whose needs and wishes were difficult to control. She needed professional supervision. Jamie had to go back into state care in California.

On her way to California, Jamie stayed with me for a few days in Albuquerque, where I was a student at the University of New Mexico. Every morning she would dress up, purse in hand, ready to go out. It was not easy saying no to her, and I didn't want to. She was going to be with me for a short time so I thought why not let her do what she likes? We would get into my Volkswagen beetle and drive to the mall. Oh I can still see the excitement in her face, craving a Big Mac with fries and a Coke! That twinkle in her eyes when she saw a shiny purse or dress or shoe behind a store window!


I used to equate mental illness with insanity. But Jamie was far from it. She understood. She comprehended. I could see it in her eyes and gestures; she was a smart girl. A trapped little girl.


Jamie passed away Friday after complications from a severe cold. She's free at last.


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Jahanshah Rashidian

Dear Mr. Javid

by Jahanshah Rashidian on

Even if dead in some cases is called “freedom” a bereaved's acceptance of loss remains emotionally hard to accept.

I am sorry for your loss and hope your loved ones can help you
in coping with the loss.



I am very sorry for your loss

by Amir Nasiri (not verified) on

Dear Mr. JJ

I am very sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences and sorrow for you and your family.

I'll pray for you and your family

God Bless her soul

Mona 19

روحشان شاد ...

Mona 19

یادشان گرامی‌ و روحشان قرین رحمت الهی

با احترام،مونا



by Midwesty on

My deepest condolences!

If you hadn't lived in SF for so long I would offer my shoulder but on second thought maybe not. Ok, here my shoulder, please don't tell anyone!

She is gone and as you said she is free. As you rememebr her memories and cherish them know that we are also with you. Take care man!


A prayer for you sister...

by alborz on

O Lord, O Thou Whose mercy hath encompassed all, Whose forgiveness is transcendent, Whose bounty is sublime, Whose pardon and generosity are all-embracing, and the lights of Whose forgiveness are diffused throughout the world!  O Lord of Glory!  I entreat Thee, fervently and tearfully, to cast upon Thy handmaiden who hath ascended unto Thee the glances of the eye of Thy mercy.  Robe her in the mantle of Thy grace, bright with the ornaments of the celestial Paradise, and, sheltering her beneath the tree of Thy oneness, illumine her face with the lights of Thy mercy and compassion.

Bestow upon Thy heavenly handmaiden, O God, the holy fragrances born of the spirit of Thy forgiveness.  Cause her to dwell in a blissful abode, heal her griefs with the balm of Thy reunion, and, in accordance with Thy will, grant her admission to Thy holy Paradise.  Let the angels of Thy loving-kindness descend successively upon her, and shelter her beneath Thy blessed Tree.  Thou art, verily, the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Generous, the All-Bountiful.



Mr Javid , so sorry for the loss of your sister.

by Tahirih on

May God speed the progress of her soul in the next life, to be able to attain presence of our creator.

Please be assured that for those who die prematurely, who are physically or mentally impaired,or who for other reasons might not be able to use adequately the physical stage of existence to develop their spiritual capacity, other means for development and enlightenment will be provided in the next stage of life.

According to Bahaullah, " every malady affecting the body of man is an impediment that preventeth the soul from manifesting its inherent might and power. When it leaveth the body , however, it will evince such ascendancy, and reveal such influence as no force on earth can equal."

So she is free and powerfull...




Please accept my most

by SALTY on

Please accept my most sincere condolences on the loss of you sister. I wish the light of heaven after this world for her, and knowing nothing but happiness from this day forward for you.


My condolences

by Venus M (not verified) on

I am sorry for your loss. Losing family,is always painful.Ruhash shad.

Ali A Parsa


by Ali A Parsa on

JJ. Please count me in for sharing your grief.

Manoucher Avaznia

My condolences

by Manoucher Avaznia on

Condolences to you.  "Harch'e Khaak'e Oost Omr'e Shomaa Baash'e".

Niki Tehranchi

Joining others here

by Niki Tehranchi on

who have expressed themselves better than I ever could to simply give you my most heartfelt condolences.

bajenaghe naghi

jahanshah jan

by bajenaghe naghi on

That was a beautiful story. it broke my heart and at the same time lifted my spirits. you showed your sister your true love for her and i am sure she never forgot your deeds. 

mental illness like physical illness come in many different types. but no matter what type it is, it is so difficult to deal with. as a healthy person we can all relate to pain and physical illness since we all have experienced it sometime in our lives. but to many unprepared or inexperienced dealing with someone with mental illness is like dealing with someone from a different planet.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss jahanshah. my deepest condolences to you and your family. 

Safa Ali

I'm Sorry

by Safa Ali on

Sorry for your loss


Jahanshah jan: sincere condolences, my friend

by Souri on

آن یار کز او خانهٔ ما جای پری بود

سر تا قدمش چون پری از عیب بری بود

دل گفت فروکش کنم این شهر به بویش

بیچاره ندانست که یارش سفری بود



اوقات خوش آن بود که با دوست به سر رفت

باقی‌ همه بی‌ حاصلی و بی‌ خبری بود

Azarin Sadegh

So sorry for your loss...

by Azarin Sadegh on

Dear Jahanshah,

I'm so sorry for your loss...every time I feel melancholic and sad, I listen to music. There's some element of eternity in this type of beauty that helps me to overcome my ephemeral sorrow:


My deepest condolences, Azarin

Bijan A M

Dear Mr. Javid

by Bijan A M on

Please accept my most sincere condolences. May she rest in peace. Ravaaneshaan shaad.

Once again, with your words you have shown the purity of your soul. God bless you, sir.



My deepest sympathies.

by Princess on

May your sister rest in peace!


JJ jaan, Tassliat meegam.  

by desi on

JJ jaan,

Tassliat meegam.     


اندوه دور باد


با ارزويه دلاسایی  و آسایش روان برايه شما و بازماندگان ان گم کرده. خداوند روانش را بيامرزد



by Sara D. (not verified) on

Dear JJ, my deepest condolences for your loss...and thank you for your touching's wonderful when people are able to see beyond the physical trappings of mental illness and appreciate that there is a beautiful soul inside.


My sincere condolences

by Monda on

to you JJ and your family. Thank you for sharing about sweet Jamie.

maziar 58


by maziar 58 on

just as you'd put it.

khoda bia morzadeshan.    sincerely Maziar

Azadeh Azad


by Azadeh Azad on

Dear Jahanshah,

Please accept my heartfelt condolences for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.




by bahram9821 on

My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family.


Nazy Kaviani

Dear Jahanshah

by Nazy Kaviani on

I'm sorry for your loss.

Most people don't understand mental illness unless and until they have had a beloved trapped in it. I had a beloved nephew who was retarded. To most he seemed a burden on the family, severely disabled and immobile, with the vocabulary of a two-year-old, unable to do even the most basic things for himself. But to his family he was a cherished and loved family member. I remember how as a little girl I used to do my part in taking turns to look after Reza. To me he was complete, because he had a big beautiful heart which felt and eyes that saw and enough words to convey his feelings and needs, even though to others it may have seemed like he was incapable of communicating. He even had his own brand of a sense of humor, pulling tricks on us and teasing us when he was in a better mood!

I remember when he passed away, the thing that hurt my sister the most was people's telling her that she could now have peace, "Raahat shodeen." I remember my sister crying and telling the insensitive well-wishers that she was at peace before, "raahat boodam," and that now forever she will miss her peace because she had lost a loved child.

"Free at last" is what I thought when Reza passed away in 1989, also following a cold. I know you might not believe in heaven, but I do. I believe those who spend their lives trapped in bodies which won't give them a chance to live fully and completely have a very special spot reserved for them in heaven where they can stretch out and run and go shopping and to McDonald's, anything their little hearts desire. Anything their little hearts desire.

Peace to you Jahanshah.



by Mersedeh on

Losing family, whether close or distant, is always painful.  Disabled or not, you clearly loved her and let her know it when you had the chance. That is more than many people.

I hope it gets easier over time.

I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek

Beautiful Eulogy

by I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek on

Your life stories are always fascinating. Thanks for sharing. I hope your sister is in a happy place.

Darius Kadivar

Tasliat ...

by Darius Kadivar on


So sorry to hear about your loss. At least she is with your beloved mother I am sure.




Dear JJ

by darius on

Beh shoma va khanevadeh taslyat migam .Rooheshoon shad bashe .



my condolences

by IRANdokht on

Jahanshah jan

I am sorry for your loss.