Sure ways to keep them away...
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Sure ways to keep them away...
09-May-2008
How to treat your grandparents so they never come back to visit you in America...
1- Do not bother to get up when they enter the room.
2- Whatever they say, be against it.
3- Sink in the coach and keep your legs open.
4- Pretend you don’t understand Farsi.
5- Act repulsed when they want to kiss you.
6- Bring an uninvited rude redneck friend to the ‘mehmooni’.
7- Make fun of their first name.
8- Refuse to speak Persian.
9- Put your feet up on the table.
10- Yell at your parents in front of them.
11- Keep calling them when you know they are at their prayer.
12- Blow your nose as loud as you can.
13- Tell them they deserve the form of government they live under.
14- Scratch your crotch in front of them.
15- Remind them it is 2008 , and we are in America, every time they want to give you a piece of advice based on their experience.
16- Act frustrated when they want you to translate something.
17- Teach them the phrase “you are a doushbag”, and tell them it means “you are so kind”.
18- Buy them a cool computer software for their birthday.
19- Complain of the smell every time they leave the bathroom.
20- When you are really needed, disappear, and tell them you have things to do, it’s not Iran where people are “alaaf”.
21- Stare at their bald spots or scars on their head.
22- Ignore the ‘mehmoonee’ and the guests; turn the TV on for the football game and cheer for your team loudly.
23- Give the presents they brought you, back : You don’t use these junks in America.
24- Ask them about their sex life.
25- Take them for a drive on an empty gas, and when they offer to pay for the gas, let them.
26- Make out with your girlfriend/boyfriend, in front of them.
27- Refuse to eat the weird stuff they cook. Just come home with a McDonald’s burger.
28- Hide the ‘aaftaabeh’ before they go in.
29- Defend the Iranian government.
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People!
by Honest Hassan on Sat May 10, 2008 10:47 AM PDTAs 90% of you guessed, this is satire.
Most of us love our grandparents who come for a visit.
This is supposed to teach you what not to do, kind of like "adab az keh aamookhtee, az beeadabaan".
Faribors khaan:As to your question," what about question from weeks or monthes ago? When is someone no Iranian?"
I don't know. Maybe someone here can answer it :-)
#22 18 16 28 and #29 are
by n.zanincanadai1 (not verified) on Sat May 10, 2008 06:32 AM PDT#22 18 16 28 and #29 are sure bets. Tried tested and true. It never occured to me to strategize with them. I just did it to annoy a certain guest that I can do without.
Sure ways to keep them away...and you are no Iranian if.........
by Faribors Maleknasri M.D. (not verified) on Sat May 10, 2008 12:47 AM PDTHonest jan bad-aamoozi mikoni haa , ama man estesnaan manzur e shoma ra fahmidam;you mean if you want them to come again, so never hide the aftabe and so on.
But what about my question from weeks or monthes ago? When is someone no Iranian? Greeting.
How about in-laws?
by aroos-por-roo (not verified) on Fri May 09, 2008 07:06 PM PDTYou're the best!..lol
Thanks a lot for offering the strategy on how to deal with a "lovely" mother-in-law! Mine never leaves...she would stay for months in our house and calls it "a short visit"!
Very rude and not funny at
by Anonymous? (not verified) on Fri May 09, 2008 04:42 PM PDTVery rude and not funny at all! This is not in Iranian culture. You must have lived in this country for a long time and have probably raised your kids like that. I feel sorry for you!
Awwwww :(
by Niki Tehranchi on Fri May 09, 2008 03:27 PM PDTI would do anything for my grandparents to visit me, unfortunately my grampa is too ill for such a trip. I am going to be their mehmoon-e-mozahem at their home for about a month this summer. Perhaps they will find a list of things to do so I don't impose on them this way again! :)
LOL...
by Saeed K. (not verified) on Fri May 09, 2008 01:49 PM PDTHave your dog lick their faces when they are sleep...specially if they are religious...and then take the dog's side if they get mad...
soooooooo annoying!
by Anonymously (not verified) on Fri May 09, 2008 01:09 PM PDTAll of that rudeness would annoy me too!
I hope teenagers don't read this blog, they already do most of it anyway.
Honest jan bad-aamoozi mikoni haa ;-)
That would be sooo rude
by Abarmard on Fri May 09, 2008 12:09 PM PDTI would never do these to even my enemies :)