A Spokeman Introduces the New Official Salute of the Islamic Republic


by FG

(From an interview with F.G.)

QUESTION: Can you please tell people how the salute works?

You hold your right arm upward directly in front of you at a 45-degree angle.  It should be aimed in the direction of the person or object being saluted.  Your palm must face upward.  The middle finger should be extended.   All other fingers must remain closed.

QUESTION: Is the salute really mandatory?

Absolutely when in the presence of the Supreme Moral Exemplar,  his appointed president and all Major Worthies (Jannatti, Taeb, Ahmad Khatami and Mohammed and Mesbah Yadzi, etc).  It is also required should one meet a Dispenser of Impartial Justice (the Larinjanis for example).  

If you encounter a Blessed One as he is about to speak publicly, please withhold your salute until the first word is spoken.  An alternative means of expression is equally acceptable at that time: Place index fingers in both ears simultaneously.  Your tribute will assist the speaker’s concentration.

What should you do if you are walking down the street and notice a car transporting one of the Virtuous? In this case, the correct procedure is to turn and offer a two-handed salute which must be retained until the vehicle is no longer in sight.

Finally, the official salute is also mandatory whenever you stroll past any mosque closely associated with the Worthies, or whenever you encounter a photo or mural of such popular figures.   During your workday--assuming you even have one--it’s possible you may encounter clerical “rogues”  upon occasion.  Don’t forget to salute.   

Cauition: Those with nerves of steel may wish to do the same should you encounter known basilj.    The latter can be a bit touchy however.

QUESTION: Why did the regime invent this salute?  What purpose does it serve?

We wanted a way for people to show their gratitude and respect to their public servants.

Secondly, we felt that in the absence of a free press, defense attorneys and legitimate and open elections we needed a psychological outlet for self-expression.  When you look at existing conditions and the likely future under this regime, what could be more satisfying than this official salute? 

Finally, to work hard for the people’s good can wear anyone down.  The chance to receive the people’s reassurance a dozen times a day can be psychologically invigorating even for the lowest mullah--a form of compensation for having been forced to share the street with commoners.  Picture the smile on clerical faces at day’s end as they rejoin their families at home. 

Holy Men and basilj are human like everyone else.   You need to let them know constantly that they are doing the right thing.  It would be tragic were they begin to suffer doubts or lose faith.  

QUESTION: Students and workers have been especially restive.   Do you have any advice for them?

Yes, talk it over.  Then practice, practice, practice until you get the salute down pat.   Circulating a copy of this interview around every regime in Iran would be a nice place to start.


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Multiple Personality Disorder


by Multiple Personality Disorder on

very funny


Poles knew how to use satire against tyranny

by FG on

I visited Krakow shortly before the crackdown on Solidarity.  Everywhere the Poles mocked the regime openly and constantly and using jokes, posters and even sneering at party members when they appeared in public.  The regime was helpless to do anything about it because it became so widespread.  That's clever. 

In a country where sitting down among strangers is commonplace in restaurants, party members were left to eat by themselves.  If they sat down at someone else's table, the people would get up and leave.  

"Shunning" or bestowning pariah status on supporters of a hated regime can be personally demoralizing.  In Iran's case it would also undermine all claims by regime supporters here that the regime remains popular and most folks scorn the opposition.   You can't miss what is "in your face" every day.

My post above was intended as satire BUT I'd recommend the salute to the opposition--to be introduced all at once on a given day rather than piecemeal.  Mass involvement would make it harder to stop.  Don't allow the regime to pick off a few indiviudals who start prematurely.

If everyone does it and continues to do it, who can the regime arrest? Political graffitti is also an effective protest weapon, since the Bad Guys can't be everywhere.  Cleaning up is costly but the regime has no choice.   Let every building, rock, pavement and road become a tool of protest, hard to stop with club wielders on motorcycles. Drive 'em crazy.  

As the Poles did, shunning neighbors, coworkers or even family members who support or or even defend this regime is a very effective demoralizer. 

Another effective techbnique is the boycott.  Find out which store owner or shop owner supports the regime and avoid him like the plague.

This is what the regime deserves so this is what it should get.