What a Trip Israel is (3)


What a Trip Israel is (3)
by Faramarz

Ari woke up in the middle of the night in his Bedouin tent from the moaning and the groaning of a woman in the adjacent tent. It sounded like some serious action was going on! He tried to fall asleep again by recounting his trip to the Holy Land; the “free” trip arranged by the Israeli Consulate that cost him lots of money, the Mossad agents who tried to hire him, the offer of a large home in the occupied territories and the Moldovan bride, the sexy vixen Agent Magda and finally the escape to Egypt with the help of the Bedouins.

After a while the noise from the adjacent tent subsided. Ari waited until it was almost morning to go out and check. As he was peeking through the hole in the early morning light, he felt the cold barrel of a pistol on the back of his neck. “Don’t make a move!” Ari was frozen on the spot. “Now, slowly turn around.” The man with the gun ordered.

As Ari turned around, he could not believe his eyes. It was Jason Bourne, the CIA special agent and his Farsi-speaking student at Monterey Institute!

“What are you doing here Ari?” Jason Bourne asked. Ari smiled and gave him the full account of his trip. “How about you Jason, the last time that I saw you, you were brushing up on your Farsi and getting ready to do a job in Tehran?”

“The project in Tehran got cancelled because the Regime got to the scientists before I could. Then I retired from the Agency and have been working with an NGO here in the desert. I like the Bedouin women! They are wild in bed and don’t expect much! A few days ago, my good friend Omar Sharif sent me a message. He wants me to go to Cairo and take care of Mubarak.”

“Can I go with you? I love to see some belly dancing in the cabarets near Tahrir Square before I leave for California. I may even run into Red Wine there.”

They then got on a double-hump camel, Jason Bourne in the front and Ari in the back and headed towards Cairo. A day later, as they approached Tahrir Square, they saw thousands of protesters on the streets. Then out of nowhere, a group of Mubarak thugs on camels and horses attacked the crowds. Jason Bourne quickly disarmed one of the thugs, got his club and weapon and chased the rest of them. The crowd was speechless. They had never seen such bravery. Ari was hanging on to the back hump as Jason Bourne was going after the thugs. A while later, the thugs were defeated and Jason Bourne without saying goodbye had disappeared into the dust.

The crowds approached Ari on the double-hump camel. They were jubilant. They lifted Ari and carried him on their shoulders. They chanted “al Ari, al Ari, Mubarak al Faraari! al Ari, al Ari, Mubarak al Faraari!”

Kids screamed, women fainted and the older folks talked about how Nostradamus had predicted this day when a man from a foreign land, ridding a double-hump camel will descend upon Egypt and will bring peace and prosperity.

A voice from the crowd shouted, “My name is Rafighdoost! Let me take you out of here in my SUV!” But Ari ignored him. He wanted to be with the people. The crowd begged Ari to be their leader and teach them about democracy and independent judiciary!

Meanwhile, CNN announced the Breaking News.

Anderson Cooper: “Our sources have just confirmed that moments ago Hosni Mubarak left the Presidential Palace with his helicopter. Netanyahu has offered him asylum in Israel. He will be living in a large 4-bedroom house on the hills overlooking Ramallah in the occupied territories. It is unclear if he has to marry a settler bride from Moldova and have 8 kids!” Anderson Cooper then showed a copy of al Ahram, hot off the press with the title “Mubarak, al Faraar!”

As Ari was being carried on the shoulders of the crowd to the Presidential Palace, he told them “OK guys, I am staying for a week, but then I really have to get back to California! Seriously guys!”


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This was niiiiiiiiiiice,

by MM on

This was niiiiiiiiiiice, especially his participation with Jason and the Egyptians.  I was expecting Ari to go out with a big bang of a different kind, though!


Ari Mobarak

by divaneh on

My Egyptian brothers don’t trust Ari when he says he stays only for a week. Thirty years from now you will be going to the Riddle square (previously Tahrir Square) to get rid of Ari Mobarak and his Maldovan wife.

Thanks Faramarz for the good laugh.

Anahid Hojjati

Actually, Faramarz, one correction is needed

by Anahid Hojjati on

One is the case of Iranian girl in Europe with Iranian guy in Iran. The other one is Iranian girl in United States with Iranian guy in Europe. I guess, the conclusion is that romance is going more than ever global and social sites and dating sites help in this. 

Disclaimer: This writer is a regular writer on Iranian.com and IC was recently invested in by IranianPersonals which is a dating site.

wow, the disclaimer felt good. Like news people on NBC that before Comcast acquired NBC, whenever NBC people talked about GE, you would hear them say that GE was parent company of NBC.


If That's the Trend Anahid

by Faramarz on

Maybe we should think out of the box and send one of the ladies to Tehran!

Do I hear a volunteer?



Rea, no punishments, just the praise for the noisy one!

She was a Bedouin, so she stayed behind with the tribe until the next encounter!


I'm getting worried

by Rea on

What happened to the noisy one?  Punished for making too much noise. Or she wasn't included in the package ? 

When will we find out, trip 4 ?

PS. geeez, did I miss something here ?

Anahid Hojjati

once DM sees the young and beautiful thing...

by Anahid Hojjati on

Faramarz, the new trend seems to be women in Diaspora marrying the guys in Iran. Past few days, I have heard of two cases like that in my family and friends.

But regarding DM,  I am hoping that once DM sees the young and beautiful thing, he can figure out from the plumbing "hareefesh chieh".


Ari, Anahid

by Faramarz on

I am glad that you liked it Ari. I hope that you get to go on your trip sometime soon and report back. As I am sure you know, some of your recent blogs were the inspiration for this final episode.

I like your suggestion, but we need a new Marco Polo to travel to Iran and be a part of the uprising. Doctor Mohandes seems to be the perfect candidate!

How about DM being lured to Iran to marry a young and beautiful thing, but unbeknownst to him, she is a …

Anahid Hojjati

Good one Faramarz, may be Ari should go to Tehran next

by Anahid Hojjati on

Faramarz jan, i enjoyed raeding your blog. Now, maybe next blog can see Ari in Tehran leading the masses and if he can't do it alone, he can send for help and all the IC bloggers will go to help him. That is if they don't arrest us in Tehran's airport. Thanks for a great blog.

Ari Siletz

What a treat!

by Ari Siletz on

Smoothly written, funny and a solid sense of location. "Rafighdoost" was a brilliant touch. First military act as President of Egypt : export the revolution.  Al Aqaba from the rear, as Lawrence would have it.  


Thank You!

by Faramarz on

Who would have thought that our own Ari would make history!
But I think that it's time for him to come home.

Esfand Jaan,
I don't think El Barbarella will be of much help here.

Sexy ya Seski? Jalab be Jalab!


Dirty Angel

Ferferzi, khoob mano ROFLMIDI!

by Dirty Angel on

 I can't wait for the Yemen meeting with Melanie Phillips!

"If they chew you up, they still have to spit you out "



by statira on

Waay ke to cheghade jalabi? You should be called the sexiest man in I.Com:)

Esfand Aashena

آری برای فرار فریاد زد، لبیک با ال برادعی!

Esfand Aashena

Everything is sacred