The Perfect Mistress!


The Perfect Mistress!
by Faramarz

I had always wondered about the European men who have mistresses. My curiosity had more to do with the protocol and the logistics than the actual act itself. Well, I got my answers when I met Camille.

Camille was the perfect mistress, well not technically speaking since I was not married or anything like that when we were together. It is just that we met regularly every Sunday evening at her place and I financially supported her.

I met Camille by chance at a coffee place. She was just ahead of me in the line. There was nothing “head-turning” about her but if you took the time and looked her over, she was very attractive with short black hair, gentle face, well-proportioned body, stylish glasses and a nice smile. She was the typical single women that you meet in big cities who work at high rise buildings, take public transportation to work, always well-dressed, get together with their women and gay friends after work for drinks and gossip and always complain about the lack of eligible single men!

I got my latte and sat at the table near her. I borrowed the Sports section and chit-chatted with her a little bit and finally asked her out on the Sunday night. I don’t know why I chose Sunday instead of Saturday. Maybe because it seemed safer, or maybe I didn’t want her to think that I didn’t have any other plans on the weekend!

She lived in a rent-control apartment building in the nice and busy part of town; the type of neighborhood that you have to drive for a while to find a parking spot. We hooked up at a local hang out and sat at the oyster bar. She was quite intelligent and was a great conversationalist. She would listen carefully to what I had to say and from her questions you would know that she understood exactly what I said.

After dinner we ended up at her place. It was a cozy one-bedroom place that was nicely decorated and had a nice view. She said that she had lived there for many years and if it was not for the rent control, the rent would have been more than twice by now and she would not have been able to afford it. The place also had old style bathroom sink with separate hot and cold faucets. I had seen those at fancy Bed and Breakfast places and always wondered what if you wanted warm water! Do you run your hands quickly back and forth between the hot and cold faucets?

She had a little white poodle that barked a lot for the first few minutes, but then came and sat on my lap. We ended up in her bedroom after a while. It was the perfect date all around! As I was getting dressed to leave and before I could ask her out again, she invited me to come there the following Sunday for dinner. I actually liked that. I had other plans the following weekend but Sunday nights were always open.

The following Sunday I arrived at 5 PM with a nice bottle of wine and some desert. The little poodle barked for a while, we talked, laughed had some wine, had dinner at around six and on to the bedroom after that. This became our routine from then on. Every week I coordinated with her about what she wanted me to bring for Sunday dinner. Then I would get there early enough to find a parking spot. Her barking poodle would greet me at the door and we would then go about the usual things. I guess growing up in a Catholic family, Sunday dinner at home was very important to her!

She never asked me what I did on Friday or Saturday nights. Only one time she asked me with a smile if I had a Persian girlfriend or wife because she had heard at the office about Iranians who import wives from Iran. I just laughed and said no.

She was very good in bed and also curious about my Iranian background so one time she asked me to teach her something sexy in Farsi while we made love. I taught her how to say, “Mano Bokon, Beeshtar, Beeshtar…(make love to me more and more!) It always makes me laugh when people talk during sex. But I have learned to bite my lip and laugh inside since most women don’t appreciate the humor!

The topic of money came up after a month or so when I asked her about her car. She had a Honda Civic that she never drove and was parked in the building garage. She said that she needed to get the car fixed but couldn’t afford to do so. I offered to take her car to my mechanic and see what he could do.

We left the car at my mechanic on the next Sunday night. I called him in the morning and told him to fix the car but keep the invoice for me. The next Sunday when we met, she was very appreciative and not only cooked some nice rack of lamb, but also was all over me in the bedroom! Finally, a light bulb went off in my head! She was extremely nice to me, never asked me very personal questions, was never jealous and was always happy and upbeat. So the least that I could do was to help her out financially here and there so that she could buy fancy clothes or whatever else that she wished to do. And it was not too much of a burden for me either.

However, I wasn’t sure how to approach the topic with her. The next time that we met, while she was in the kitchen, I slipped some money in one of the drawers in her dining room. I figured that it would be easier for me to explain it over the phone later than face-to-face. Later on that week, I called her and told her that I had left a little present for her and I hoped that she didn’t mind. She went quiet for a second and then told me that I really didn’t need to do that and then she thanked me.

From then on it became a part of our routine. Once or twice a month, while she was in the kitchen or the bathroom, I would slip some money into the same drawer and during the week when we confirm our schedule for the coming Sunday, she would thank me for the “gift.”

The relationship lasted almost a year and I always looked forward to my Sunday nights at Camille’s place. But finally when I met somebody that I really liked I decided that the right thing to do was to end the relationship. I came up with some excuses for a while to cancel the Sunday dinners and then stopped calling her. I just wasn’t sure how to end something like this. A month later she left me a message and said hi. I thought very long and hard about staying friends with her. But I knew that one way or another we would end up in her bedroom again!

Months later, on a Sunday afternoon when I was sitting home in front of TV and completely bored, I thought about her and all the fun times that we had together. I almost picked up the phone and called her, but then I remembered the barking poodle, the street parking and the hot and cold faucets in her bathroom and changed my mind. Oh well!

Here is Yalla Oomad Mehmoon by Toofan



Recently by FaramarzCommentsDate
The Women of Camp Ashraf
Dec 01, 2012
Negotiating with the IR Regime
Nov 22, 2012
Ahmadi Goes to Majlis - Gangnam Style!
Nov 19, 2012
more from Faramarz

Nazanin Karvar

by Faramarz on



It's a jungle out there and a decent guy with a clean shirt and matching socks doesn't stand a chance!

Thank you for reading and your comment.


Nazanin karvar


by Nazanin karvar on

وبلاگ آموزنده‌ای بود... عجیب که تا به حال ندیدمش! 

این فوت کوزه گری را من هیچ وقت یاد نخواهم گرفت که در عین حال که خانمی شیک (ارزان نمیتواند شیک باشد) هست و بسیار آراسته میتونه از مشکلات اقتصادی صحبت کنه و کمک بگیره!!!  




D.M question

by Siavash300 on

"you are always obsessing with "educating" others. Why not let things take their own natural course? Why pushing something to happen when it just does not want to?! " D.M

All life we try either learn from others or to teach others. I think that is the basic reason we are on this site. To learn from our country men/women in order to detect the reality of life. Sometimes things appears real on the eye of some people, but at the same time it appears UNreal in the eyes of others. We share to see events from other people's views.

    If you read my previous comment,I mentioned the similar situation hit me in life that cost me a lot of therapy sessions. That was my experience,so I am thinking it is my duty to share it with my country man. He may get benefit from what I experienced. No force. Just try to be helpful. I think you have had an opportunity to help Dr. Azadeh to see how wonderful and great Iranian men are and you missed that opportunity by being quite or may be getting offended. She might have had bad experience in life with Iranian man. you could have shown her with your gentle behavior that some Iranian men are as good as you are. There is nothing wrong to be with them, so she shouldn't generalize her bad past experience to other Iranian men. Don't you feel good to help your country woman? I am sure you do. That is human condition.

   I never wanted to push my way to someone else, but I have been assertive to share my experiences with others.


The picture and the content of this literature doesn't communicate with it's readers as a "beauty of diversity or cultural differences", it communicates with it's readers for "sexuality" rather than "cultural" issue.

Ba Mehr,


Dr. Mohandes

DR. FReel? (PHIL)?

by Dr. Mohandes on


you are overly obsessed with the therapy option, Or in other posts you are always obsessing with "educating" others. Why not let things take their own natural course? Why pushing something to happen when it just does not want to?! Of course that is after you have tried sufficient number of times and know for sure, it just aint gonna happen.

Seeking therapy should only be recommended when you are willingly pursuing something and feel as if you need help doing it in a better way, or help solving problems that come up, not deliberately putting yourself through a process to change things around when they really don't need do. don't fix something that is not broken!

Faramarz...oh Faramarz...the one and only misunderstood faramarz. If only these people knew what they were missing and would treasure your teachings and between-the-lines trainings and messages...this world would be a better one, i mean it!

I know what you are doing and i am with you there all the way pal.

Now...would you move over a bit so we can both look behid/under that skirt... sorry i mean curtain before she decides to pull it down... i mean before the curtain falls:) I seriously need to learn lots of new things today!

Love you man.




Doctor Mohandes

by Faramarz on



This psychobabble is contagious! Imagine, even I am giving out advice!

I don’t know if some of these gentlemen and ladies realize how much they are pre-occupied with repressed sexual thoughts and forbidden sex.

My stories have a larger message about curiosity and the discovery process in a different culture and looking behind the curtains to learn new things.

But all some of these folks focus on is a paragraph or two about bedroom scenes.

OK, we are out of time for today’s sessions, but let’s continue in the next session.


Seems therapy helps

by Siavash300 on

"Sometime it is really not a matter of a personal choice and some men really get unlucky trying to form that loving and caring relationship no matter how hard they try." D.M

That is the reason I recommand therapy. Unfortunately therapy has not been recognized in Iranian culture. People usually talk to their friends rather than seeking professional help. The ultimate goal is to have healthy life style. To enjoy every single moment of life. That is the state of mental health.  

Yes dear, I am sorry for misunderstanding your comment. I was under impression that you were endorsing being single and having multiple relationships with many women. My apology.



Stay Thirsty My Friends!

by Faramarz on




Don't give up on life and fun so easily by barricading yourself inside the 4 walls of fears and uncertainties!

Stay thirsty my friend and happiness will find you.


Dr. Mohandes


by Dr. Mohandes on

Are you cruising on over to the Sahraye Karbala again?:)

Granted that what you said is true, Sometime it is really not a matter of a personal choice and some men really get unlucky trying to form that loving and caring relationship no matter how hard they try. Because you can not force someone to love you, it either happens or it does not. furthermore, you can't expect to be looked after until the day you die or on your dying bed, For you might lose a spouse before your own number comes up. At times, even second marriages have to led unfortunate and undesirable outcomes: divorces, another untimely death.  One would be absolutely fortunate to have his or her family around them at the time of death.

I guess you are taking my comments the wrong way, thinking that i am endorsing being single and having multiple relationships with many women. No that was not what i intended on getting across, rather simply saying it is not a sin or a crime to do so every once in a while if the MUTUAL need and feelings are there, and live (rather survive) to tell about it.

The best thing anyone can do, be it man or woman is to learn how to love themselves and learn to accept themselves. especially in this day and age, people's views of marriage has totally changed and it is not like the good ol' days. Most everyone likes to sing their own tunes and to compromise is considered a shameful and self-disrespecting act! These are the realities that the youth, or anyone getting ready for a relationship or marriage is having to grapple with.



To die alone with no love

by Siavash300 on

"What is wrong with being attracted to such a blog and why is "being around the block" and knowing all kinds of moves (specially the one George castanza tried all the time) deemed as a problem for which one needs to be evaluated?" D.M

Just imagine about an old man who is pushing 60's sitting alone in his apartment, his hair is turning gray if not bold. His sexual appetite has been drained for some years. Even Viagra doesn't help and he may face heart attack for using it.  Any woman he approaches at this age is trying to get into his pocket. His "fatal attraction" from his age in 20's turns out to be "financial attraction"  in his 60's. He looks back and quickly he realizes all those precise years he has not been able to established any kind of loving, caring relationship with any woman. No family or any one who loves him for who he is. He is prone to fall in state of depression. I think Faramarz knows what I am talking about.

 What is wrong with this picture? 

Farzin was an Iranian singer who died in his apratment alone. No one knew he is dead for almost 1 week because he didn't have anyone to look after him. The dead body was laid in the bed for some days. That was very sad.  Here is one of his song, .....enjoy.


Dr. Mohandes

The Iranian-American Psychological Association!

by Dr. Mohandes on

was scheduled to hold their annual meeting and i did not get nothing in the mail?

Faramarz jan. May god bless you big man. i think you have brought out a certain side in many of those commented here, that they never knew they had. Look at the plethora of analyzing and medico-psycalazing (a new term coined by myself).

See, i really am not getting the joke here. What is wrong with being attracted to such a blog and why is "being around the block" and knowing all kinds of moves (specially the one George castanza tried all the time) deemed as a problem for which one needs to be evaluated?

baba beekhyal. loosen up and enjoy the party. Yeeeeeeehaaaaaaa. kick off the shoes and loosen your hair marry, let it all around your shoulders and take that shirt off...daddy is hungry!

Daddy as in the boyfriend for those hojatoleslam-oriented haj aghas in here baba jan. relax.

Do Not Shoot Me

Soosan Khanoom

by Do Not Shoot Me on

Not everyone is like Faramarz and Doctor, Some like me are hopeless romantic. 




very funny.... I can't stop laughing. That is good one

by Siavash300 on

As usual, Faramarz joke is really cheers me up. I can't stop laughing. omg. that was great faramaz jan.

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Faramarz crucified ... again

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

But it must be the most amusing crucifixion to watch!

Jesus is a happy-go-lucky handsome chap, who every man wants to be and every woman wants to be with. Cross is the timeless first-sin, which is at the core of human psyche. Executioners are well meaning agents of law-and-order, fearing social collapse ... lest we listen to Jesus and start "living", rather than serving the gods of civil society.

Well, it may not be fun for Faramarz, but Jesus deserved it.


آخه ننه جون این چه کاریه!



دارین لگد به بخت خودتون میزنین!

اگر من این داستان هارو نگم و ننویسم، اینجا همش باید بشینیم و بد و بیراه به نیاکی ها و رژیمی ها و بقیه  از فلان جا پرت ها بگیم. که زودی حوصله همه مون سر میره.

آناهید، تو یک چیزی بگو!

حالا بگین من رفتم پیش روانشناس و اونهم گفت بیا برو یک زن معمولی و شلخته بگیر که سر و صدای ملت بخوابه که فکر نکن داری زیادی حال میکنی!

اونوقت راضی  میشین؟

آخه ننه جون این چه کاریه!


A couple of hundred times around the block

by Siavash300 on

 "faramarz has been around that block a couple of hundred times." D.M

That also is a red flag for therapy. To find out what is the underline issue to be around the block couple of hundred times. What is the obsession ? What mandate those kind of action over and over.? Human behavior is quite psychodynamic and no action just come out of the blue with no bases.

     Like I said before, there are much more into it. By looking at the tip of the iceberg, we can't detect exactly what was going on. Needs more probing, more revealing stories. Hope these stories Faramarz is saying has a reality bases. Furthermore, I hope these stories was not designed fictitously for the purpose of entertainment.

    It is human nature to get attracted to the unknowns. Everybody has a "dark side". it is the deepest and most myterious part of human being. I think that is the reason "Sepash" and "D.M" love this site (or rather this blog).


من فکر می کنم


من فکر می کنم این فرامرز و این دکتر مهندس هر دو ازدواج نکنند و ترشیده باقی بمانند .   

Dr. Mohandes


by Dr. Mohandes on

Hey shekspear jan

You got something to say to me you can say it right to my face honey bunch. I really don't like people talking behind my back, using antiquated, old-fashioned "khale zanaki" tactics.




by Shepesh on

maybe he ran out of money, the bank would not give him a loan. But by the way it looks this Miss Dr Mohandes sounds in love with Faramarz. Maybe the solution is found.

I love this site too, it finds solutions to romantic problems.  

Dr. Mohandes


by Dr. Mohandes on how badly i miss those tips.

Trust me faramarz has been around that block a couple of hundred times. no need for no therapy. whatever the problem, he can manhandle her...i mean know ...the problem:)

God i love this site.


Not "hit and run" D.M

by Siavash300 on

Dear D.M:  

I don't think it was "hit and run". Just take a look at his statement: 

"The relationship lasted almost a year and I always looked forward to my Sunday nights at Camille’s place" Faramarz

What we see is the tip of iceburg. What we don't see the giant part of the iceburg which is under the water. Sounds like there is much more into it. I think therapy will help to detect, have access to the hidden part.

Dr. Mohandes

Escape Clause

by Dr. Mohandes on

Sk jan Faramarz belongs to the group of fellows, who tend to follow the modern style of falling in love with an "escape clause"...I think it came from the original "golden parachute" which referred to the evil-genius CEO's who during the corruption de jeur fiasco  of the 2008-9 era would find a reason to avoid accountability. Of course in his case, it simply means that he is exercising his right to not share his body, his love and his feeling with his partner.

Basically When the love thing ain't doing it for me no more, I am so outta here. hit and run baby:)  see ya. don't wanna be ya:)

yeah...yeah...that is what i am talking about babe:)

You know.

Soosan Khanoom

Faramrz check out Cat Stevens version

by Soosan Khanoom on

it has some alternation in lyrics and it is amazing ... 


Thanks Soosan Khanoom

by Faramarz on

I didn't realize that he also performed this song. It is very nice and peaceful compared to Eric Burdon and the Animals' original masterpiece.




i love cat stevens.

by mousa67 on

it's a shame that one day he overindulged in herbal hallucinants so much to cause  permanent damage to his brain and become a moozlim.

still like his voice and disagree with not allowing him entry into USA. as a true  moozlim he knows that he'd have a much better life style in Jersey city living next door to a jewish family than living in mecca or allah forbid tehran next door to a shia or suni fundamentalist.

sorry mr faramarz for rude interuption. now back to whatever was going on in this blog.

Soosan Khanoom

Faramarz do you know that Cat Stevens sang it ..

by Soosan Khanoom on

aka Yusuf Islam ...  : )

By the way ... I am tormented by curiosity now !!  Are you telling me that you have never ever fallen in love?   

Soosan Khanoom

DM ... I completely understand what you mean

by Soosan Khanoom on

By still being in that state of mind even after living there for over a year. I am not sure if we can ever get over the years that we have lost or even be able to adjust.  For me it was like waking up after a long coma. Things were not where I left them and I was so lost. Even lost for words to say... 

Dr. Mohandes

Siavash300 Jaan

by Dr. Mohandes on

You are absolutely right and please accept my appologies.

I did misread your comment...My bad. my bad...

Take care bro.


D.M seems you misread my comment

by Siavash300 on

"Do you really think saying something like that about men and bashing them is a sign of social class and prestige? maybe social akaaber class!" D.M

This is what you wrote:

 "there are not many of us who can so lucidly and succinctly describe such "escapades" and adventures we have come across with, without making any judgments or moral conclusions. The fact that one can describe to you what went on during a relationship, is a skill not many of us possess. " D.M

This is what I wrote in respond to above paragraph:

Unlike what D. M is thinking, being Graphic in writing is not sign of talent or education. It is the sign of social class and social prestige.

(it has nothing to do with Dr.Azadeh)




Dr. Mohandes


by Dr. Mohandes on

Please pay attention to what you are writing. You seem to have a knack for misrepresenting points.

I never prasied her for having a doctorate degree, i just said that she was using that as a cover to launch baseless and sensless and biased attacks round the clock against men, iranian men to be specific. Now what part of this suggests to you that i interpretted what she had said as  a sign of her talent and education.

And it is a sign of what????? run that by me again??? Do you really think saying something like that about men and bashing them is a sign of social class and prestige? maybe social akaaber class!

faramarz jan

I just love your logic. Love with no strings attached at least not until both parties are absolutely comfortable with one another. Or at least make those strings so thin that they can be cut easily and at anytime:)

 You know since i have been back here, i have seen so many young fellows whether in university or running a buisness, following the same old iranian mentality of "i need to be married by a certain age or else i am doomed" and what i tell them is that first you guys need to be happy with your own selves and love yourselves and then, if that fails,  start looking so "bahoot and afsordeh" for not being able to nail or excuse me, obtain the priviledge of courting a young lady. they don't seem to be able to break the ice in a very casual and informal way so they can gain some experience before taking the plunge. i guess it is not in accord with "farhangeh jame eh"! people throw that phrase around a lot.

Young men and women ought to have a well defined and articulated philosophy in their lives before they can start a longterm relationship.


Mr.Spoke and weekend lady

by Siavash300 on

"The only price that I am not willing to pay is the emotional price" Faramarz

That portrait character of Mr.Spoke on a date.

I never paid for sex before age 30, but I did after age 30.


We have to honor Dr. Azadeh. She is a talented , well mannered and great lady who spent most of her life for education. Something that looked down by ruling mullahs these days. Unlike what D. M is thinking, being Graphic in writing is not sign of talent or education. It is the sign of social class and social prestige.