Iranian.com – NIAC Unholy Alliance!

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Iranian.com – NIAC Unholy Alliance!
by Faramarz
06-May-2011
 

A Fictional Story about the Secret Alliance between NIAC and Iranian.com to Promote IR Regime’s Agenda in the US!

JJ met with the NIAC executive member Mahshid at the corner of Main and Broadway as was earlier planned. JJ had his trench coat on. Mahshid had a Wall Street Journal tucked under her elbow. “The big bear sleeps all winter!” JJ whispered quietly. “The hummingbird is never thirsty!” Mahshid quietly replied.  They smiled and shook hands. It was like a spy thriller at the height of the Cold War in East Berlin!

The secret meeting has been in the works for quite a while. NIAC wanted to know how to post blogs on Iranian.com. JJ explained it over an email. But changing ID/Password became a sticky point. Admin insisted that the information needed to be communicated in person and discretely. After all, that’s what Microsoft had recommended, he argued!

As they sat at a nearby coffee shop and JJ was carefully explaining how to post a news item on the site, little they knew that they were being watched by CIA and NSC. Ali Daei, a Persepolis sympathizer who had fallen out of favor with the IR Regime has been making a case to the American officials about NIAC. He provided valuable information supporting the fact that NIAC was in cahoots with IR and had secretly built a cyber attack network to go after its adversaries. He also disclosed that he unknowingly had stumbled upon a nugget of information that NIAC was getting “preferential treatment” at Iranian.com!

CIA Director authorized an extensive surveillance program to track JJ’s activities. Some time later, he requested an urgent meeting with the President. “We have had him under surveillance in Europe for a while until he disappeared. But because of the great work of our field assets who blog on IC we were alerted to his presence in Mexico. Using our spy satellites we located him in Chihuahua. Our agents noticed a house with a large air conditioning unit which looked different from the other houses in that neighborhood. It raised suspicion that someone important must be living in that house. We believe that it is him. It is decision time Mr. President!” Obama quickly authorized the secret mission.

In a secret conference room at the White House, President Obama and his top national security team were watching the satellite feed from Chihuahua, Mexico where the Navy seals broke into La Conchita Hair Salon and snatched JJ without any resistance. JJ begged them to let Maria finish the dye job, but they quickly rushed him out to the Blackhawk helicopter and took off.

President Obama addressed the nation on Sunday night from the Left Wing of the White House. All stations cut away from regular programming and switched to the breaking news. “My fellow Americans we got him! Last night in a daring operation, our Special Forces lead by the Navy seals snatched and captured a high valued target in a beauty salon in Chihuahua, Mexico. The target, J.J. is known in the Iranian.com community as, the Chief Editor has been a key figure in the unholy alliance with NIAC and other forces that sympathize with the current Regime in Iran and posed a great threat to our national security.” Obama paused and looked at the teleprompter.

“We have had the target under surveillance for a while and his communications on IC were closely monitored by NSC and CIA. Late last week, we were tipped by one of our assets on the ground that he was making a move to leave Chihuahua and come to Washington DC. We believed that it signaled the beginning of a campaign by the Regime to attack our capital. But now, with JJ in custody the threat has been averted. But we will stay vigilant.”

JJ was transferred to a new facility on Easter Island for further interrogation. After a few hours of questioning he was released.

And that’s how JJ ended up on Easter Island where he spends most of his time painting, fishing and dying his hair light brown!

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more from Faramarz
 
Faramarz

Everybody in the Pool Please!

by Faramarz on

Mirza,

Thanks for reading brother!

Please don’t hold it in! Let it all out!

Shemrooni,

Thank you my friend.

One of these days, I am going to sit down and write a coloring book with lots of pictures!

Get your Crayons ready!

JJ,

Does Mahshid read WSJ and wear a trench coat on warm spring days?

Those CIA boys are all over DC!


Jahanshah Javid

Plot thickens

by Jahanshah Javid on

By the way I have a friend in Washington DC who's name is Mahshid. She works for the U.S. government and is my daughter's roommate.

Now it's getting a little spooky...


Shemirani

Nice satire :D

by Shemirani on

Very Funny bood ....Iranian best gift  is their great humour no matter the situation !

 you are very talented writer ! looking forward for the book :)

 

 

 


mirza

Is this what's at issue?

by mirza on

Is this what everybody's talking about?


ارتش سایبری نایاک و سایت ایرانیان دات کام 
اسناد دادگاه فدرال واشنگتن

http://www.iranianlobby.com/page1Weblog.php?id=122    If, so ... And since nothing is sacred around here ... What's the big deal about publishing Hassan Da'ie here on Iranian.com. I've seen numerous Trita Parsi's pieces here, so why not let Hassan Da'ie defend himself? What happened to democracy and tolerating each other no matter how much we disagree?  


Bavafa

Cousin Framarz: Nice clip, good choice

by Bavafa on

I can always count on you for a great story and a nicely selected clip to go with it.

Keep 'em coming

Many thanks

Mehrdad


Faramarz

A Thank You Message in a Bottle!

by Faramarz on

Rea,

Those Aussies have a different sense of humor! I am glad you liked it.

I also agree with your assessment of the off-shore do-gooders!

JJ,

You have the right attitude! How is your painting coming along?

If you are looking for inspiration, start with painting the kitchen!

Aynak,

That was quite a “meatball” of a story!

Mash Ghasem,

These stories generally take about an hour or so to write. However, the ideas bounce up and down in my head all the time!

The goofy comments are all spontaneous!


Mash Ghasem

...

by Mash Ghasem on

Prof. Faramarz, keep'em coming, good stuff. Just out of curiosity, if I may, on the average how many hours a day do you write?

aynak jan, your scenario is a little too bloody: execution, crucification. How about a simple bloodless, in-house coup? In JJ absence, and residence on Easter Island, we'll install Khar as the Supreme Leader of IC, and officialy initiate Hezb Kharan, and purge all the non-belivers, cheers


aynak

JJ should be put on trial

by aynak on

JJ should be put on trial and executed. :)

JJ was dragged to India, and facing court martials trial:

DA: JJ you are acused of encouraging people to consume meet.

JJ:  Who me?  I just turned Vegeterian !

DA: Who are you fooling?   We saw with our own eyes, you refused an article just because it did not have enough meet!

JJ: I am ready to be crucified.

May we all have good dreams.


Jahanshah Javid

A note from Easter Island

by Jahanshah Javid on

Faramarz! I tried really hard to ignore your piece. I just don't want to get sucked into the world of lunatics and haters -- the latest being those who accuse me of the weirdest non-sense. But then I couldn't resist any longer. I started reading it and tried very hard not to laugh. I tried to be neutral and serious and indifferent. Vali nashod! It was too goddamn funny.


Soosan Khanoom

Faramarz ..... you already

by Soosan Khanoom on

Faramarz .....

you already put a UZi in my hands and gave me a role up in the air ...

NO thanks ...... No more roles please ....... give this honor to others on this site

 i willl just read your master pieces !

 


Rea

On a more serious note, another diaspora

by Rea on

We'd had our own NIAC, for better or for worse.

In the end, it had cost us a war and thousands of lives lost to sort ourselves out.

Lesson. Trust only those IN the country. Those OUT of the country can do more harm than good, no matter their intentions. 


Rea

Me, been following the story for quite a while

by Rea on

Me, understand little.

Me, asked my Australian-Iranian niece, she said, oufff, that's Americans. 

Me, like Faramarz and IC. ;o) 


Faramarz

More Thank You Notes!

by Faramarz on

ام ام جان،

قرص خورشید در سیاهی شد

ج ج اندر دهان ماهی شد


ماندا،

زنان قهرمان!

اسم جدیدی برای دختران سر به هوا!


Faramarz

Thank You Notes!

by Faramarz on

As always, thanks for your kind words and as the saying goes, “We will make this fun … or die trying!”

Cousin Mehrdad,

Here is the music that I had in mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVC2j_Kdw8c

Soosan Khanoom,

I like your taste of music. Very nice! I think that I am going to feature you in one of my future blogs! Do you like the villains or good women roles? But your cat stays home! How about a Michele Pfeiffer “Cat Woman” role?

Anahid,

You are blessed with a sense of humor! Thanks for reading and commenting.


Anahid Hojjati

SK, I agree

by Anahid Hojjati on

you wrote:"sometimes it is just weird and strange words arrangement ." I agree. One of these days, I will pick some words randomly from articles/poems/books. For instance, I may decide to choose the fifth word of the fifth sentence of each article. I think the poem that will be outcome of this selection will be called innovative by some.


Anahid Hojjati

SK, if she wrote the song also

by Anahid Hojjati on

it may be that the reason she sang the song naked was that she wrote it naked. Therefore, that was the only way she could be faithful to the song. I have heard from couple female poets that they have either experimented or thought about writing poetry naked. That is my guess. I did not even know that she sang the song naked, it was news to me until you just wrote it.


Soosan Khanoom

By the Way

by Soosan Khanoom on

Just if anyone is curious in why she sang the song naked I was thinking it may be that she wanted to emphasis on nothingness and emptiness as well as  the divinity inside.. but I do not think so she wanted to make a sexy video cause this video by no means suggests that .. it is actually unsexy or as a friend told me once, her willingness to create that video naked in a completely "unsexy" way  is acceptance and comfort in her vulnerablity to other people, her environment... to Life as it is, not as we "dress it up". 

 

 


Soosan Khanoom

No I have not heard of her

by Soosan Khanoom on

No I have not heard of her ... Unfortunately  I do not know many recent Iranian poets .... I purchased a book of poetry from Iranian contemporary female poets and out of like 50 poems in this book I could only like one or two ...... it is not even metaphor to me.....  sometimes it is just weird and strange words arrangement ... may be I am not able to get it .... but certainly they do not satisfy my poetry taste ......  

 


Anahid Hojjati

Thanks Soosan Khanoom, sorry for asking

by Anahid Hojjati on

but as I noted, I like to know what poems and songs mean. As a matter of fact, short time ago, I was reading poetry of some Iranians. I started with women poets and did not like some of them. Too many metaphors. as great as it is to have metaphors in poetry, too much of it sounds phony to me. Then I strated reading poetry written by some Iranian men and I liked them better.  Then, I went back and read poetry of "Grenaz Moussavi" and liked it and read about her. Interesting biograpgy. Have you heard of her?


Soosan Khanoom

Anahid and to whom it may concerns

by Soosan Khanoom on

 Alanis wrote this after a year of soul searching traveling to India ...... She faced many things in her life and she also witnessed many things both pleasant and non pleasant in India.  

This song is a satire on growing terror and arms in the world especially that it was released on when India had just concluded its Nuclear Tests ....Terror caused her to take notice of the things that were important and being thankful for everything in life that gives perspective, for the ability to look at things in a different way......

I think it may speaks of JJ and all these things that is going around in his life including the latest accusation  ...

It's a humbling song about growth and gratification, and how easily you can suddenly become aware of yourself and the people around you.

 

somehow i found it relevant ...

Of course the song's words can be interpreted in different ways - that is the wonder of poetry and song. 

 


Anahid Hojjati

Soosan Khanoom, I am interested to know

by Anahid Hojjati on

your take on this song that you posted. With songs, almost always I am interested to know what songwriter meant. I would like to know what do you think Alanis meant in this song? Otherwise posting random songs is just random :)).


Monda

بدون قهرمان زن هم، خیلی‌ با مزه نوشتی‌ فرامرز!

Monda


ولی‌ اگه یه کم راک اند رول هم قاطیش بود از این بهتر هم میشد. خدا رو شکر که سوسن خانم به دادت رسید.

 

 


MM

Faramarz - not bad at all!

by MM on

I heard JJ almost went for his pen while being arrested.  And, Divaneh was totally disappointed that JJ did not.  Divaneh already had a name picked out when the Seals gave him a burial at the sea - JJ Bin Gulf


Anahid Hojjati

Faramarz, this is funny

by Anahid Hojjati on

You are branching out nicely from romance to Soccer and now this. The funniest part was the part about changing id/password and all these administrative issues. It reminded me of couple times I had to e-mail JJ, with these kind of questions. Funny and also sad that some people like Dai are so beekar that actually get hold of NIAC's e-mails regarding registration issues and then think that they are doing something important by publishing them. Any way, thanks for the satire.


Soosan Khanoom

Liked this write... good job Faramraz

by Soosan Khanoom on

And here the music for this blog .... somehow it matches :)


How bout getting off of these antibiotics 
How bout stopping eating when I'm full up 
How bout them transparent dangling carrots 
How bout that ever elusive kudo 

Thank you India 
Thank you terror 
Thank you disillusionment 
Thank you frailty 
Thank you consequence 
Thank you thank you silence 

How bout me not blaming you for everything 
How bout me enjoying the moment for once 
How bout how good it feels to finally forgive you 
How bout grieving it all one at a time 

Thank you India 
Thank you terror 
Thank you disillusionment 
Thank you frailty 
Thank you consequence 
Thank you thank you silence 

The moment I let go of it was 
The moment I got more than I could handle 
The moment I jumped off of it was 
The moment I touched down 

How bout no longer being masochistic 
How bout remembering your divinity 
How bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out 
How bout not equating death with stopping 

Thank you India 
Thank you providence 
Thank you disillusionment 
Thank you nothingness 
Thank you clarity 

Thank you thank you silence 

 

http://youtu.be/OOgpT5rEKIU

Thank U - Alanis Morissette  


Bavafa

Oh so fantastic… LMAO

by Bavafa on

This is just so terrific - I LOVE it

But where is the accompanied music video

Thanks cousin Faramarz

Mehrdad