Dude Ranch and Resort

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by Faramarz

In the pouring rain outside the Great American Music Hall after Abjeez concert, a group of bloggers were gathered around JJ and were thanking him for the free tickets. They were very pleased with the performance. But JJ looked tired and non-engaging. He wasn’t even taking pictures for the blog.

Monda: “What’s the matter JJ? Are you ok? You haven’t said a word all night. Is it my zucchini soup?”

JJ: “Oh no. We got serious money problems. The advertisers are cutting back. Only the Tea Party, AIPAC, US Army and the I.R. Regime are willing to pay the big bucks. Karzai just pulled out un-announced. You know the situation Anonymouse. You have seen the books.”

Anonymouse: “Things are not looking good! We can’t go public with the company yet and they are raising the rent and the fees are going up all over.”

Ari, who has recently resigned from AIG Hedge Fund and is now making home-brew in his garage shook his head. “I can go commercial with my pale ale, but the competition is stiff.”

Sargord: “I am sure that I can get a job with Press TV, convert to Islam and learn how to read Ghoran like Tony Blair’s sister-in-law. I think it is going to work. I am finally going to get paid for supporting the Regime! I can live without the pork and bacon, but the beer is the problem. Ari, can you make some non-alcoholic beer for me?”

Faramarz: “How about a dude and dudette ranch and Shia rehab facility for the rich and famous. They can check in confidentially and address their issues through religion, Persian culture and poetry. I know Doctor Mohandes has a parcel of land by Lake Tahoe. We can attract celebrities like Lindsey Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Madonna and Mel Gibson.”

Divaneh: “It will be a spiritual resort where they can convert to Shia Islam and cleanse their souls. Men can have up to 4 Sigheh while they are staying there! But who is going to circumcise Mel Gibson? The man has a rage problem!”

Anahid: “How about the women? Just to be fair, they should get 4 toy-boys or man-babes too!”

MPD: “I like it. No, I really like it!”

Rea: “I don’t have the energy for 4. Can we cut it in half?

Maziar: “Sign me up! I can be a toy-boy for Paris Hilton and I know how to fix a mean martini!”

Cousin Bavafa: “We have a couple of horses in our farm just outside of Atlanta. I can fly them to Tahoe. One of the horses is old, blind in the left eye and limps a bit, but he gives a good ride!”

Shazde: “What if Charlie Sheen or Madonna want their 72 virgins immediately? Where are we going to get the virgins? Any virgins in the pro-Regime crowd?”

Hamsade: “Not a chance! They do everything under the table; booze, sex, you name it! How about the Reformers?”

MM: “Are you kidding me? They change their minds so many times, you don’t know if they are coming or going! How about the Lefties?”

Targol: “That horse left the barn many years ago! We can give them a long-winded argument until they forget about the virgins!”

Virgin Goth: “my bf saz im gd in bd!”

Dirty Angel: “Pffft, Yuck, Yum, Yum!”

JJ: “I think it’s going to work. We don’t need US Army ads. I’ll let General Petraeus know. Let’s go to a Mel’s Diner and have some eggs!”

Note: Inspired by the fine writings and great comments of many bloggers.


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Dirty Angel


by Dirty Angel on

"Virgins? 72 virgins? What orifice was determined and with what will and what was behind it*? "




Ferferezi, why would I need a saddle? Hmmm?



"Stuff happens and some, one way or another, get stuffed"

*reference of inspiration - Parthianshot91's signature line:

"They are not afraid of the ideology alone, but of the detemination and will of the men behind it" 


Prof. Ferry: back home around Dallaho

by Hooshang Tarreh-Gol on

we actually might still have a few horses left. How to get them to the ranch? Tis, the question.

I,  out of goodness of my heart and lungs also volunteer for the Cannabis duty, I could help with Quality Control. btw, we shouldn't accept Mel Gibson, he's a closet Nazi, or Nazi Lite , whatever you want to call it.


On the "serious"side, there should be some kind of Grant money, somewhere for internet based multi-cultural non-profits. All you need is a group of people with experinece in Grant writing for non-profit work. 


Dear Oktaby

by divaneh on

شما درست می فرمایید ولی انتظار داشتی با انگشت کمکش کنه؟



by oktaby on

of the horse is helping the rider properly and without any unnecessary contact or TSA style groping, while the other seems to be on the guard for any mishaps. It seems even the cameraman is careful with the viewing angle. Do ranch employees (including Marcom personnel) go through various sensitivity & customer service trainings?




Rea, Therapeutic Cannibals at the Ranch!

by Faramarz on

هدف ما جالب رضایت شماست!

There are naked cannibals running around with sharp spears to heal the wounds


Will there be a cannabis plantation on that ranch ?

by Rea on

Therapeutic use strictly. ;o)

If yes, I volunteer to take care of it.


Anonymous jaan

by Bavafa on

چی‌ میگی‌ بابا، این سرگرد به اسب‌های من جفتک نزنه شانس آوردیم

نمیشناسیش مگه؟



باوفا جان این اسب‌های شما جفتک هم میندازن؟


اگه جفتک خوب میزنن شاید دوباره به این سرمایه‌دار فلک زده پیشنهاد بدیم سرگرد رو سوار اسب شما کنیم و همینطور اتفاقی یک جفتک بزنه پرتش کنه پایین بعدش هم که افتاد ۲ سه تا جفتک دیگه همچین بزنه که فک و دندون هاش پاک خورد و خاک شیر شن!

جهانشاه جان رو هم باید خودت راضی‌ کنی‌ و الاه دوباره آبرو ریزی می‌کنه و این دفعه دیگه میرن از دستش شکایت میکنند! 

Everything is sacred


No matter what you say Anahid

by divaneh on

I am still against your investment in IC because I want to see naked women getting on donkeys and horses and god willing on Bavafa and me hopefully. I also would like to read blogs about all types of breasts including the Banana shape ones. And no, I do not wish to see more videos of dancing men in IC, in fact there should be reduction in such awful and offensive videos.

Anahid Hojjati

Divaneh, why are you against my investment in IC?

by Anahid Hojjati on

That is not nice to say that IC should not accept my investment. Is something wrong with my money besides that it will be borrowed?

Anahid Hojjati

Anonymouse Jaan, thanks for your informative response

by Anahid Hojjati on

Dear Anonymouse, as always, I could depend on you. You showed your open ways by providing  good information. It will be exciting to see the new IC. I agree with you about the Canada part but maybe this has operational reasons, like software would have to be too complex in order to delete individual comments. Maybe IC can address this issue at a later date. 


Dear cousin Farmarz: I ditched the horses

by Bavafa on

تو به من نگفتی مشتریها مون اینها خواهند بود!!!  با این جور مشتریها خودم، چشمم کور دندم نرم، پاهام شل، خودم سواری میدم

Love your stories, keep them coming 



Too Early in the Day to Laugh so Hard!

by Faramarz on

I am sorry that I left you on the bench. Start warming up man. You'll be starting the next match my friend!

Thank you. I hope you feel better. Have someone else cook for you! That's the medicine!

Anonymouse Jaan,
Pushing Sargord off the plane in the middle of Pacific is a great idea. But Sargord has already addressed that!

Here is what he said, "When I applied to become a US Marine in 1980, they took me to Camp Pendleton, miles from the shore and after water boarding me 10 times, left me by myself! However, I swam back to safety by grabbing the fins of a white Australian shark!"

Great funny ideas!

JJ is looking for silent partners and you are everything but that. But changes are on the way!
Thanks for supporting my cheesy stuff! The only pictures of naked men on horses that I have are those of Geronimo fighting the cowboys!

Divaneh Jaan,
Your US Army Interview Blog triggered this business idea in my head. I am glad that you enjoyed it.


I'll be the first customer myself

by divaneh on

If that picture is an example of the quality of wives in this resort then I will be the first customer myself. What a fantastic idea you genius entrepreneurial star. Would you mind if you post a pic of my other two wives as I would like to know them better before marriage.

With circumcision there is no need to worry. They have now found a missing page of the Quran in Syria that says circumcision is not necessary if the owner of the prick can pay the dieh to the Akhonds. That means we need an Akhond but I think we have a Khamenei in the site. We also have a Samad Agha that can help the ladies in the same way as that lucky bastard.

Thanks for the good laughs genius and Happy New Year.

p.s. Please do not accept Anahid's investment.


Anahid jaan is a labor o love & investments r funny money!

by Anonymouse on

If were to be offered publicly I'd estimate it to be about $1/share and I'd invest too but that "option" is not yet available!  I'd buy about 500 shares and I think on average each person would buy about 100 shares.

The "options" that will be available are given in a cloak of secrecy in this interview! I think the major changes will be to allow us to post our own photo essays or at least allow us to post the photos and link them to our own blogs which will be really good.  The other major change may be to allow us to control comments in our own blogs, but I think for starters JJJ will allow only "yes" or "no" to allow comments in our blogs.  So we can either have or not have comments but not the ability to control individual comments which is really SUCKS to Canada!

As for cheezy poems and pictures and erotica-ish blogs and articles, well they are here to stay.  Where else can you get such ideas?!  All of these ideas are in our heads and the only place we can post them is here!  So we should be happy about them otherwise this would be a dull place.

Everything is sacred

Anahid Hojjati

Anonymouse jan, maybe you can tell us

by Anahid Hojjati on

JJ is not telling us much but being the azadeh and open person that you are, maybe you can tell us the story. I read in one comment that IC management is changing and then I read about new investors. Can you tell us more? And also when you talk about investors in, what is the level of investment. If it is not much, maybe I can use some money from home equity and invest in if the level is low enough. Obviously, my investment will come with many conditions such as need for regular videos of dancing men and no more yuck, pff blogs, no more naked women getting on donkeys and no more stupid poems from losers like Louie Louie and no more stupid comment about banana shaped breast and no more featuring people' s poems and stories and then complaining about their command of language and..OMG, the list is getting too long. How much investment do I have to make for all the above issues to be resolved?


Faramarz jaan the Dude Ranch can't advertise on!

by Anonymouse on

Just like military (has there been any other Military other than US wanting to advertise on :-) can't advertise but can blog for free, the massage parlors and spas can't advertise either!  Maybe the solution would be to have a separate tab for "Military" ads and blogs and another tab for "Experimental" ads and blogs!  The main page will continue to have only generic ads!

The problems are not due to lack of "investments", they are due to JJJ dismissing them left and right!  I've not only seen the books I've also seen the investors!

Just this week JJJ dismissed an investor who was willing to not only invest a lot of money in but also pay a lot of bonus and benefits to JJJ if he'd agree to allow Bavafa to take Sargord for a ride in his plane and accidentally dislodge him mid-air into the ocean about a mile off the coast so he can swim back to the beach!

Unfortunately JJJ is still living in his head the dot com boom of the 90s and thinking website will make him rich one day no matter what he does!  I for one am grateful and just hope the website remains and improves over time for all of us to enjoy and communicate, with or without the ads!  

Everything is sacred


Very Funny Faramarz!

by Monda on

Namiri elaahi : )

(my daughter doesn't know why i'm visiting funny blogs today when hysterically laughing causes my nonstop coughs!)




Great, but you left me out

by Parthianshot91 on

  Lots of accounts on IC are fake and obviously made for trolling, like dirty angel and virgin goth.



"They are not afraid of the ideology alone, but of the detemination and will of the men behind it"


On the First Day of Christmas

by Faramarz on

On the First Day of Christmas My Dear Friends Said to Me!

Thanks dear friends for reading the blog and support the concept of a Ranch and a Resort to make IC financially independent from the advertisers!

In my next blog, I will go back to writing about the usual lustful encounter with another independently-minded beauty with all the details!

ebi amirhosseini

با اجازه فرامرز خان عزیز

ebi amirhosseini

قابل توجه اعضای محترم حزب خران:

مصاحبه شماره 2:

 : من شوهر با اين شرايط ميخوام


یه روز یه پیرزن بیوه‌ی 70 ساله تصمیم میگیره که دوباره ازدواج کنه، واسه
همین یه آگهی ازدواج می‌زنه توی روزنامه و توش مینویسه که: “به یک شوهر با
ویژگیهای زیر نیازمندیم: هم سن و سال خودم باشه، کتکم نزنه، زیاد دور و برِ
من چرخ نزنه، و این که بتونه توی.... من رو ارضا کنه

روزبعد صدای زنگ در خونه‌ی پیرزنه بلند میشه، پیرزن میره و در رو باز میکنه و
پشت در، یه مرد با موهای خاکستری رو میبینه که رو ویلچر نشسته و دست و پا
نداره! پیرزن می‌پرسه: “واسه آگهی من تشریف آوردید؟ واقعآ از من انتظار
ندارید که قبولتون کنم، دارید؟” پیرمرد میگه: “آره واسه آگهی اومدم” پیرزن
یا پوزخند جواب میده: “خودت رو نگاه کن، تو پا نداری!” پیرمرد جواب میده:
“بنابراین نمی‌تونم دور و برت چرخ بزنم!” پیرزن میگه: “تو
دست هم نداری!” پیرمرد دوباره لبخند میزنه و میگه: “بنابراین هیچ وقت نمی
تونم کتکت بزنم!” پیرزن
بالا میندازه و میگه: “ببینم می‌تونی من رو ارضا کنی؟” پیرمرد پشت میزنه
به ویلچر و یه لبخند بزرگ میاد روی لباش و میگه: “من زنگ در خونه‌ات رو
زدم، نزدم؟

تاریخ عروسی: شنبه‌ی هفته‌ی آینده…!


Ebi aka Haaji

maziar 58


by maziar 58 on

faramarz khan thanks for the blond joke !! 

But I'll still can make y'all a good martini.        

you're real good at making a good satire.   Maziar

Shazde Asdola Mirza

This is much better now!

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

I was worried that you may have missed us "friends" from the list of Khars! I am happy happy now ... merry merry.

Now a serious question. Which one of the plays did you like better? Which one of the parts would you have liked to play? I know that you used to write semi-professionally and even performed. So your opinion is valued here.


Lol, Shazdeh

by Souri on

I like it when you play the polite one! Actually now that you are into writing plays, it is becoming one of your most cherished hobby, to play the acts!

But in the spirit of Christams !!!! I like it and congrats you.

I don't know if you tried to be vicious by deleting the last part before the paranthesis ((va doustan shoma) or it was really my mistake in writing in that way.

The "agar mesl shoma khar bashand" was referred to the "friends" which came right before the paranthesis. You as a so called writer, must know the rules better than this.

Plus, when someone introduces himself as donkey, I don't see what is offensive to him if we call his family, donkey too?

Although this was not my intention at all and I was only talking about his friends, but honestly, find me one logic in what you just picked up here? If someone says he is a donkey then it means his family is,,,,,,

I mean, at least this is what they want us to understand, isn't it?

The good behavior of the people, warms our heart and make us thankful.....  And the bad ones, just make us to recognize and appreciate the good ones!

Shazde Asdola Mirza

قابل نداره عزیز

Shazde Asdola Mirza

آب انار هم چشم، جور می‌کنم. ولی‌ شما درست نبود به خانواده این آقا توهین کنید:

"خر، تبریک میگم! شما بدون هیچ شکی بهترین پرسنل این ارتش محسوب میشین ... و همه افراد فامیلتان همچنین (اگر به همین اندازه شما خر باشند) ..."


I loved that one!

by Souri on

Very funny clip. I liked it a lot. What a bright character is that lady.

I don't know if this is just the Ghajar women character or all the Iranian women? But nevertheless I like it so much!

BTW, did you take that aab anaar which Redwine recommended you take? This will stop your diarrhea about the Ghajars.

Meanwhile, wish you a happy new year (without the diarrhea) 

The good behavior of the people, warms our heart and make us thankful.....  And the bad ones, just make us to recognize and appreciate the good ones!

Shazde Asdola Mirza

ماشالله به زن ترک قاجار!

Shazde Asdola Mirza

As per the request ;-)


پرایس لس جان چرا میری زیر دامن مادرت قایم میشی‌؟


خوب پس حالا که اون زیر هستی‌ یکی‌ دو تا از اون فیلم‌های قمر
خانمی رو ازش قرض کن که برای صد و بیست هزارمین بار بذارین، بلکه خندتون
بگیره، یک کم ترست بریزه.

آخه مامان جونت میگه کریستمسه! باید  با حماقت خودتون  کنار بیاین.

The good behavior of the people, warms our heart and make us thankful.....  And the bad ones, just make us to recognize and appreciate the good ones!

Anahid Hojjati

Faramarz jan, just few points

by Anahid Hojjati on

1. You must not have been in Abjeez concert, since you write as if JJ was there.

2. To be fair to women, you should have chosen a picture for your blog in which men would have been naked too.

3. Baba, if JJJ has told you that needs more revenue, then you or your cousin Bavaf should start a fundraiser and in the spirit of holiday season; as exhibited by today's blogs, readers will be generous.


my comments were off record!

by MM on

PS, But, I am glad you censored the colorful metaphors that I said.