A Group Circumcision

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A Group Circumcision
by Faramarz
28-Aug-2010
 

ختنه دسته جمعی

I was born in the middle of the night. But I had to wait for a while so that my father could drive a few blocks to get the mid-wife out of her bed and bring her to our home. Like most parents, mine hesitated to trust my jewels to the sharp knife of a surgeon at a very young age. They waited and waited until I was about to go to the first grade when they broke the news to me.

Having anticipated my reaction, they included my two other cousins of around the same age who lived down the street in a package deal! All three of us would go to our neighborhood clinic and get circumcised at the same time. My 10-year old cousin weighed in on the conversation to convince us.

“You guys have to do this before they let you into the school. On the first day of school, the principal will check everyone’s hair, fingernails and you have to bring your own flat plastic cup to drink water out of the hose in the school yard. You can’t put your mouth on the hose!”

I was very familiar with our neighborhood clinic and the good doctor that worked there. He had seen me, my cousins and almost all of the boys on our street on a regular basis. You name a body part, and he had put a few stitches on it. On many occasions when a kid’s mom was not home or was out shopping, one of the relatives or neighbors would rush the bloody bodies to the clinic. On our street, it definitely took a village to raise a child!

There was the time that we were just sitting around watching the older boys play soccer when a brick fell off the wall and landed on some kids’ head. One of the moms rushed him to the clinic for a few stitches. Or the time that one of the guys was showing off his new Brno BB gun. He was letting us all handle the gun for just a few seconds when a stray cat showed up, walking gingerly on the wall. A struggle broke out on who could shoot the cat and somehow the BB gun went off hitting a kid on the shoulder; nothing too serious, but a mandatory trip to the clinic.

There was a Haji (Haji Tonbooni) who lived a few homes down the street. He took special pride in his old Mercedes 220. Whenever there was clean water running down the street waterway (Joob), he would come out of his house in his pajamas and block the water so that he could wash his car with a bucket and a Longe. On one occasion, as the water rose and flowed onto the sidewalk, making it very slippery, a couple of the kids chasing the ball slid and ended up at the clinic; a few stitches on the knee and the chin!

But the strangest of all the incidents happened when one not-so-bright kid was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for the freshly-baked Sangak bread to cool off. As you may know, Iranian bakeries bake Sangak in a hot oven on top of river rocks and small pebbles. Once in a while, a small pebble gets stuck in the back of the bread. And you are always warned by your parents to watch out for the little pebbles. As this kid was hitting the pebble with a fork to get it off the hot bread, it dislodged and shot up and got stuck in his nostrils! Hard to believe! Another trip to the clinic!

My aunt and my two cousins showed up at our door early in the afternoon and we started walking towards the neighborhood clinic. At the clinic, the nurse told us to take our shorts off and lay on our backs on the three small side-by-side beds, our things covered with white towels. My mom and aunt stayed outside the room. We laid there quietly for a while until the ceiling fan got our attention. We were trying to figure out how to get up there and pull the string so that the fan would go faster!

After a while, the doctor came in, gave a few instructions to the nurse and got started. It didn’t take too long for him to finish the job. When the medication wore off, he told us to sit up. By then we were all bandaged up. The doctor looked us over and then told the nurse to give us 3 white skirts to wear! He said that we should be wearing the white skirts for a few days until the wounds heal. We were not supposed to play or run around either. It was so embarrassing walking out of the clinic wearing the stupid white skirts. People were looking at us and smiling. They knew that the three of us had just been circumcised.

And it got worse when we got to our street. Some of the kids saw us and started pointing to our skirts and making comments. More and more kids rushed out of their homes to see us. They sure had a field day with the whole thing! We dropped our heads and quickly got back into our homes. It was truly a public circumcision!

For the next few days, I just sat by the window, in my white skirt and watched the other kids play.

ختنه سوری

On Friday, my mom and aunt threw a big Khatneh Soori party for the three of us. They put three chairs in front of the TV and told us to sit there in our white skirts that have turned slightly yellow by then and with plenty of food stains. As the relatives and family friends were coming through, we just sat there motionless, like royalty! The other boys came around, but as soon as they realized that we could not play, they left us and ran outside. The girls were more curious. They wanted to know what the deal with the skirts was. They kept staring at us and whispering to each other. One of them dragged her mom over to explain the skirts. We just sat there and tried to look dignified.

In another day or two the bandages and the skirts came off and we were back on the street again!

God bless you the good doctor of the old neighborhood!

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more from Faramarz
 
hamsade ghadimi

great story as usual

by hamsade ghadimi on Mon Aug 30, 2010 03:10 PM PDT

great story as usual faramarz.  i wonder how long it took for people to wise up and not trust their newborn's jewels with the khatneh soor.  ineresting to note that the mullahs used to do this job for free.  they did for the tips. :)


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Faramarz

Thanks Anonymouse, T-Bride and Maziar

by Faramarz on Mon Aug 30, 2010 01:51 PM PDT

Anonymouse,
A group circumcision with your cousins is the ultimate male-bonding experience!

T-Bride,
We come from a very unique culture and background, but you already know that.

Maziar Jaan,
Calling the Dalaak "Kharko.." at the age 7 is quite a statement on your intelligence and maturity! You were way ahead of me!


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maziar 58

circumcision

by maziar 58 on Mon Aug 30, 2010 12:51 PM PDT

thank faramarz  even I may have a story of mine at 7 and calling the dallak (KHARKO....) right after te cut......

But the big khatneh given to all (males & females) at older age in 1979 will never heal .    Maziar


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Temporary Bride

ssshhhh, ouch, snip and celebrate

by Temporary Bride on Mon Aug 30, 2010 06:30 AM PDT

F'marz,

I smiled and winced and enjoyed your latest story. I can't get that image of wearing a white skirt that grew stained and yellowed out of my head.

There is something so sweet and strange (and I think Iranian?) about keeping the whole thing secret, tricking you into going to the doctor and then having a big party to celebrate afterwards and propping you up on chairs for display.

If you were an American kid you'd probably need a shrink and blame your parents for childhood trauma. In Iran a few scoops of bastani and all is forgiven!

T-bride 

 


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Anonymouse

I have a vague memory of it and seems my cousins were involved2!

by Anonymouse on Mon Aug 30, 2010 04:49 AM PDT

Everything is sacred


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Faramarz

تارزان در میان دو طفل آویزان

Faramarz
Sun Aug 29, 2010 06:04 PM PDT

benross jaan,


Here is what I would do to make sure that there is not a long tem problem with the circumcision.


I would do a roll call with the boys and see if they respond!


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Shazde Asdola Mirza

Sorry Ben, but in your case, telescope is of no use

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on Sun Aug 29, 2010 05:16 PM PDT

They will need a microscope ;-)


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benross

Okay guys. Keep joking. It

by benross on Sun Aug 29, 2010 05:10 PM PDT

Okay guys. Keep joking. It only makes ladies more curious what it looks like now!


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Shazde Asdola Mirza

خانومه هم که اصفهانی‌ و حاضر جواب بود، میگه

Shazde Asdola Mirza
Sun Aug 29, 2010 04:55 PM PDT

بذار برم تلسکوپ‌ام رو بیارم!


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Faramarz

Another Joke for Benross

by Faramarz on Sun Aug 29, 2010 04:49 PM PDT

 

یک جاهلی داشت تو یک کوچه راه میرفت .

بالا رو نگاه میکنه و میبینه  یک زنی
توی بالکن هی پسر بچه لختشو بالا و پایین میندازه و میگه "قربون دولت برم،
دول تو هم بیست تومانه..دول تو هم سی تومانه...دول تو هم صد تومانه!"
جاهله شلوارشومیکشه پایین و به زنه میگه "آبجی جان ، شما که مزنه دستتونه، بیزحمت بگین این جریان ما چند میارزه!"   


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divaneh

Dear Benross

by divaneh on Sun Aug 29, 2010 04:32 PM PDT

آره به نظر میاد که یک اشتباه لپی شده بوده و من رو یاد این جک انداخت

یک روز یک عربی از درمانگاه دوید بیرون و خوشحال داد میزد: اخته کردم، اخته کردم. یکی ازش پرسید اخته کردی یا ختنه کردی؟ و عرب با نگرانی پاسخ داد: مگر فرقی هم می کنه؟


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Azarin Sadegh

We chose not to mutilate

by Azarin Sadegh on Sun Aug 29, 2010 03:38 PM PDT

We chose not to mutilate our sons, and we are proud of it...and I'm sure that the boys will thank us later, because we let them have the full sexual pleasure and (fully) enjoy their manhood..:-)


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benross

alaska

by benross on Sun Aug 29, 2010 03:41 PM PDT

Now I'm almost convinced that something went wrong in my case. It wasn't an ice-cream deal at all. That was just a down-payment. I was quite pampered. The ice cream was just an advance. I got a Bow and Arrows with suction cups, not as fancy as this one. It came really handy for long days I was in bed. I'd shoot the arrow to the sealing. It would stuck there for a while, then would fall back on my bed to shoot it again! I remember I had favorite arrow which would stick longer! ...think of it... something definitively went wrong with my operation. It wasn't a couple of days deal at all! I was in bed for a while.

I also got a pedal car. A more masculine model (I guess a Khaki or Blue Jeep) of those after I recovered.

Come to think of it, my parents were compensating for something that went seriously wrong! The smell, that smell, that should be it! Aaakhhhh... 

BTW, don't you think that mobile Khatné guy in the picture looks like ayatollah Montazeri? 


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default

I do not beeleev you shazdeh

by Doctor X on Sun Aug 29, 2010 03:03 PM PDT

I actually checked with a priest sare koochamoon and well, other than the fact that he got so angry at me mentioning what you just said, he vehemently denied it and said that ...i am gonna have to very closely guard my precious boys:))

Stay with me boys...Come here franky. I said, stay inside. Nope. No chasing darla tonight and showing off and no vaginal High fiving.


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Shazde Asdola Mirza

فرامرز جان: در ایران اون جور محاکمات همچنان وجود داره

Shazde Asdola Mirza
Sun Aug 29, 2010 02:45 PM PDT

و معروفه به قوه قضائیه بیضوی


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Faramarz

Roman Judge and the Gladiator Witness

by Faramarz on Sun Aug 29, 2010 02:32 PM PDT

That is one valuable piece of information Shazde! Thank you.

Roman Judge to the Gladiator Witness: “Please keep the left hand on your testicles and raise your right hand."

“Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,…?”


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Monda

ahhh the agony and pain @ انستیتو پاستور

Monda
Sun Aug 29, 2010 01:29 PM PDT

i used to get one stick of alaska postshots.  Remember the alaska forooshi across the street from the horrid institute?


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Shazde Asdola Mirza

Testament, testicles and the Truth :)

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on Sun Aug 29, 2010 01:29 PM PDT

Brother Faramarz: thanks for sharing that story. God has always had most trouble wrestling with us!

Another bit of fun fact: Testament and testimony both come from the Latin word testicle. In ancient Rome, when a man was bearing witness, he had to place his hands on his testicles ... as in swearing on them.

 


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default

Old test...

by Doctor X on Sun Aug 29, 2010 11:42 AM PDT

Sorryyyyy. I meant the other book. Not the torah. Koli ketab metab hast vallh, adam geej mishe:))


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default

Faramarz

by Doctor X on Sun Aug 29, 2010 11:41 AM PDT

Touching someone's hollow of one's thight qualifies for a red card doesn't it?:)

Naaaa. You must have read the Chinese version of the Torah. Wresteling was prohibited back then. It was against the law. Those damn bastard chinese:) 

 


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Faramarz

Today's Sunday School: Jacob Wrestling with God!

by Faramarz on Sun Aug 29, 2010 11:17 AM PDT

Thank you brothers Shazde and Divaneh!

Praise the Lord!  Hallelujah!

Jesus, Nejaatam Bedeh!

My favorite part of the Old Testament is Genesis 32, when God wrestles with Jacob (the bad guy) all night and ultimately grabs his testicles to defeat him!

In Genesis 32:24-32

"And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him, until the breaking of the day."

In Genesis 32:25
"And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob’s thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him."


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divaneh

Fully support JJ on this

by divaneh on Sun Aug 29, 2010 10:44 AM PDT

We should put an end to this male mutilation. I did not have to wear skirt because mine was done a few days after the birth as a welcome gesture to the unreasonable world. I personally think it has a severe adverse effect on the development of that organ, and that is why Iranian men's possessions stay small and don't grow longer than 6 centimetres. Goore Baabaay Saamis and their traditions.

Shazde,

I have also heard that in Torah there is a story that god was chasing Moses in a desert telling him that he had to circumcise, and Moses was running away saying "No, I don’t want to". I wish someone would verify that.

 


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Shazde Asdola Mirza

Faramarz dear, Fatollah is right, it was mostly done by DALLAK

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on Sun Aug 29, 2010 08:39 AM PDT

The original Jewish tradition is 8 days after birth, which most Muslims follow too. However, in some cases (kid being unwell or family busy) it could get postponed.

In Torah, the story goes that their God was one day very angry with one of their prophets (Abraham, but I can't recall for sure). The Jewish god (in the body of a man) comes down to kill off the prophet and his ilk, in raging anger. The prophet's wife in a moment of quick thinking, cuts the foreskin on his son's penis, and throws it at the god's foot, to successfully quench his blood vengence.

However, it is noted by the historians that the tradition originally started in ancient Egypt, and Herodetos reports that in his Histories too.

Jewish / knowledgeable friends can correct if I am recalling incorrectly.

To counter the over-sensitivity and the associated possible premature ejaculation, one can simply use a condom, until the self confidence level and the self control improves.


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Faramarz

درد واقعی در انستیتو پاستور

Faramarz
Sun Aug 29, 2010 07:53 AM PDT

Monda,
I don't recall a painful experience and maybe as bfarahmand says, the promise of an ice cream took the pains away.

The pains that I recall were from the childhood shots at Insitut Pasteur.


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iamfine

Ice cream did it

by iamfine on Sat Aug 28, 2010 08:12 PM PDT

To ease the pain, I was promised to have ice cream. Those days, ice cream was a luxury. But I have to admit, it was painful, not as bad as tonsil operation. Both were performed almost the same age.


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Monda

Sensitive topic, so well-written

by Monda on Sat Aug 28, 2010 07:58 PM PDT

Not to be a sadist Faramarz, but do you recall the pain, ever?  Most male relatives and friends don't.  I'm not sure if it's because they have shut out the trauma Or perhaps they were so sedated that they really didn't feel any pain at that moment.

I remember months before having my son, I was having nightmares about my decision to circumcise or not. 


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Fatollah

فرامرز خان

Fatollah
Sat Aug 28, 2010 04:39 PM PDT

I will check that with my mother! She was a Sepahi (literacy). But, even today in my home-town people take broken arms and legs to someone who's specialty is to put together broken knuckles and bones ... :-) I guess modern medicine is yet to be trusted!

p/s Shazdeh was far South and not far West. :)


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Faramarz

فتح الله خان ، سپاه بهداشت

Faramarz
Sat Aug 28, 2010 04:08 PM PDT

Fatoallah Khan,

I think that your circumcision was performed by Sepah Behdaasht!

Please consult with Shazdeh who was there at the time!


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Fatollah

I've no recollection of the event what so ever!

by Fatollah on Sat Aug 28, 2010 03:13 PM PDT

and thank God for that! I suspect, in my case, there must have been a dallaak in the picture!

 Thanks for the memories Faramarz khan! enjoyed reading ... :-)


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Faramarz

Brilliant, DK

by Faramarz on Sat Aug 28, 2010 02:49 PM PDT

This is one of my all time favorites!
And Woody Allen as the scared sperm; nobody else could have even come close!


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