The Green Card Bride

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The Green Card Bride
by Faramarz
09-Apr-2011
 

All Moji Wanted Was a Good Iranian Wife!

Moji was one of us! He was a few years older than the rest of the guys but he fit right in. He was not the tallest or the most handsome guy in the group, but he was very generous and had a great sense of humor; the kind of man that women describe as their ideal mate! He would listen intently as the rest of us talk about our dates and our encounters with women, “Did she actually say that? Did she really do that?” He was always amazed at what the real world was like.

So when he finally decided to get married, he asked his parents in Tehran to find him a nice girl from the old neighborhood. He figured that being a nice guy living in the US with a good job and a place in the suburbs would be sufficient to attract the right woman!

His parents sent him the pictures and the descriptions of a few girls and he corresponded with some of them and at the end he settled on one, Mahtab. They exchanged letters and phone calls for several months and when Mahtab’s father told Moji over the phone, in a stern language that he could not keep calling her, he got the message and got his Iranian passport and went to Tehran to finalize the deal!

Moji came back from Iran all excited! He came to my place with some pictures and a few tapes. He honestly wanted my opinion about Mahtab. She looked great in the pictures and she danced seductively in the tapes! Moji asked me, “Can you believe this? A hot woman like this can be my wife?” I shook my head too! She looked great and wholesome, but I was looking at the other single women in the tape trying to find one for myself! It was like when you go to a Norooz party and they offer you sweets! You don’t know which one to choose!

They finally got married and after several months she arrived in the US. Moji was happy beyond himself. He had promised everyone a great party and he delivered on that. Friends and family were all there as Moji and Mahtab greeted us. She was hot! She danced all night and Moji tried to keep up. They danced to Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean and she even had the glove! That was when I first became worried!

I didn’t see Moji for a while and then out of nowhere, I ran into him at Googoosh concert and then at Moin concert. It looked like as if whenever there was an Iranian event in town, Moji and Mahtab were there. And I knew that Moji was not that kind of a person. It became clear to me that she was trying to “live the life” and he was just trying to keep up with his wife! He had not shown up at the practices and the guys were all asking about him. Everyone was laughing about how he was having an extended honeymoon, but I was worried about him.

Finally, one day, I ran into him at an Iranian restaurant. I was surprised to see that he had aged so much in a year or so, and his sideburns were all turned white. I asked him if everything was ok. He thought for a second and then looked deep into my eyes and started talking.

“What I wanted was a wife, a friend and a companion, but what I got is a woman who is trying to catch up and live the life that she has missed living in Iran! She wants to live like a teenager, going to every concert, every club and every event and I am trying to live like a family man! I don’t know for how long I can do this! Thank god she is pregnant. Maybe having a baby will change her, I hope.”

They had the baby and I did not see him for quite a while. He completely dropped out of the scene. Then I heard the sad news that they had divorced and he was heart broken.

Months later, I ran into her at a club. She was standing at the bar and a guy was buying her a drink. She waved at me. The guy got nervous. Maybe he thought that his investment in a couple of drinks is getting wasted. I said hi and asked about the kid. She said that her mom is babysitting for her. I turned around and left.

I have to say that I have always had mixed feelings about the “Iranian Green Card Brides” but I assumed that at the end it was for good and it was a way for some honest people to get into this country and do something with their lives, but I am not sure now.

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Anahid Hojjati

Esfand jan, you might have done

by Anahid Hojjati on

khastegari from a married woman. Take a look at picture essay from Azam Nemati. She says that she made the trip with his nephew's wife. The girl in the picture, she might be nephew's wife. May be I am wrong, but check it out. If that is the case, you will get a red card which will go to your parvande about your performance on IC khastegari team.


Anahid Hojjati

Khastegary in a comment ?

by Anahid Hojjati on

 I have to say this is the first khastegari by a comment that I have seen but Faramarz, Esfand actually did an OK job. Now, the suspense is what Ms. Nemati will write.


Esfand Aashena

فرامرز جان رفتم برات خواستگاری! ببینیم چی‌ می‌شه!

Esfand Aashena


Everything is sacred


Shazde Asdola Mirza

When in doubt ... don't make a kid

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

I don't know of any troubled marriage that's been "saved" by having a kid. Best case scenario: a poor kid is raised in a loveless home, where the parents hate each other.


ComraidsConcubine

hala boro sanar bedeh ash, be hamin khial bash

by ComraidsConcubine on

 http://fitsofpersianmisfits.posterous.com/nahid

 



Mash Ghasem

...

by Mash Ghasem on

Ferry jan, as almost all comments here indicate, traditional marriage is really difficult to keep ( tis whole nuclear family for most part is disfunctional). The American folk singer Pete Seeger always mentiones how 'group marriage' is always a better alternative ( with ground rules of course).


Anahid Hojjati

Esfand jan, I forgot

by Anahid Hojjati on

that you are married. Sorry, I guess you being so persistent for Faramarz to get married, it looks like you would make a good member of Khastegari team. You just have a small problem that it looks like Faramarz is not even ready, and "falgeeresh javabesh kard baraye emsal". So you may have to find other people to go khastegari for.


Esfand Aashena

فرامرز جان انقدر ادا و اصول در نیار!

Esfand Aashena


اگه از امروز شروع کنیم شاید سال بعد وصلت بشه!  حالا تو بیا رضایت بده شاید خوشت اومد!  برم؟ پشیمون میشی‌ ها!

Everything is sacred


Esfand Aashena

Time is running out!

by Esfand Aashena on

Anahid jaan I have no interest for anyone for myself since I am among the hens already!  I'm just doing this out of the goodness of my heart for Faramarz and others if they want to know how to go to a Khategari!

So Faramaraz jaan last chance, yes or no? 

Everything is sacred


Faramarz

دختر مردم پکرم کرده!

Faramarz


 

اسفند جان، الان پهلوی مادام بودم که برام یک فاله قهوه گرفت و گفت امسال سال خوش یمنی نیست و باید صبر کرد و دید سال آینده چی میشه!

این پسر پرنس چارلز روهم که این دختره قاپید! من هم  یک کمی دستم بنده و سرم هم درد نمیکنه!

بینیم شاید کسی دیگه اینجا آمادگی داشته باشه!


yolanda

........

by yolanda on

Wow! It sounds like a reality TV show!


Anahid Hojjati

Faramarz, Esfand says that he will go Khastegari for you

by Anahid Hojjati on

but he is sheytoon. How do you know that he will not end up with doosheeze himself? If I were you, I would rather have Doctor Mohandess on my khastegari team than Esfand. Remember we started these discussions with DM some months ago.  Now Esfand, is Johnny come lately to this khastegari effort.


Esfand Aashena

فرامرز جان بالاخره برم این دوشیزه رو برات خواستگاری کنم یا نه؟

Esfand Aashena


Everything is sacred


Esfand Aashena

فرامرز جان از خر شیطون بیا پایین!

Esfand Aashena


ببین حضرت عباسی از این دوشیزه‌ای که کاندید شد خوشت اومد یا نه؟!  اگر بعله که من برم تو مقاله خانم نعمتی یه comment بذارم رسما این دوشیزه تو برات خواستگاری کنم!

البته باید قول بعدی و بعد از comment من بیای‌ سلام کنی‌ و عرض ادب و خودت رو معرفی‌ کنی‌.  خدا رو چه دیدی شاید وصلت شد تو هم سر و سامون بگیری از این بازیگوشیها دست بر داری! 

Everything is sacred


Anahid Hojjati

Faramarz, getting married in Lorestan?

by Anahid Hojjati on

I am afraid the guests will break into that weird dance that we recently saw the video of it. I am fine with wedding in Tehran. Most my friends and family are in Tehran, any way. Imagine their surprise that after more than 25 years not visiting, not only I visit but get married. But seriously, I am the kind of person that does not warm up to people as a mate material quickly so I don't see myself finding a mate in this manner.  However, I think you make a good candidate for finding a mate in this method, since you are so into looks and how slim women are, so this method is perfect for you, and I am not being mean, just making a prediction based on your blogs. 


Anahid Hojjati

Faramarz, do we just go khastegari for men?

by Anahid Hojjati on

or can we be very forward looking and do khastegari for women of IC too? you know what I mean?


Faramarz

خواستگاری قبیله ای!

Faramarz


 

Anahid,

I am totally on-board with your team approach to this matter. I’ll clear my calendar for next spring and get a group of IC’ers on a “Khastegari Tour 2012” to Iran. It will be something like a cruise with everything included. You will get a minimum of 5 candidates presented to you. The supporting cast will be there like family members and will add credibility to the process.

For those who manage to tie the knot, there will be a brief honeymoon in Shomal; in your case Lorestan or Khuzestan!

Dress code business casual and one dress / suit or tuxedo.


hamsade ghadimi

desparate people

by hamsade ghadimi on

nice story faramarz.  i can't feel sorry for "poor moji."  i do pity him though for lacking social grace and resorting to marrying a woman in a way that someone buys a rug.  his story would have had the same ending if he put on a show for someone in this country: basically pretending to be younger even though he never even did the discos and the parties when he was actually young.  i knew of someone who got married and found out that his young wife was still writing and receiving love letters from his boyfriend in iran.  it was a very sad story.

i've also heard old men complaining about how iranian women become 'por-roo' when they come to the west, hire a lawyer, divorce their husband and take them to the cleners.  which makes me wonder if the divorce rate in iran would skyrocket if the playing field was more level and iran was not an instiutionalized misogynist state.  no faramarz jan, moji deserved it.  his wife played him.  he played her.  and now the game is over.


Anahid Hojjati

Faramarz, A while back we had formed a khastegari team for IC

by Anahid Hojjati on

I am afraid that if I have to go for khastegari for Faramarz to Iran, I have to charge more for "badee aab va hava", also Faramarz has to pay for my trips inside Iran to Lorestan, Khozestan and Shomal. Otherwise, everything is fine. I can go to Iran, be part of a khastegari team, make sure Esfande sheiytoon is not in the team, and see what happens. But also no blogging or picture essay about the khastegarees. Nemeekhaheem doshman tarashee beshe.


Esfand Aashena

فرمرا جان باید بازی گوشی رو بذاری کنار!

Esfand Aashena


You can get the real deal and you want to take pictures?!  You have to at least pretend you're serious! No more phones and online emails, you have to go back and forth to Iran a few times!

How about this one?  Altrhough I don't know if she's married or engaged or anything but if you get serious we can ask our i.com compatriot!  We can roll up our sleves and see if we can wrap this thing up!

Also, you can't bring in Croatian women!  It's complicated, they have to convert to Islam and the bloody war and ... so let's stick with the low hanging fruit before it's too late! 

Everything is sacred


Faramarz

Esfand Jaan, Brilliant Idea!

by Faramarz on

This is a great idea!

You and I can go to Iran as a team and visit several eligible girls pretending that I am looking for my ideal mate. Then we can do one of these photo essays with us and the girls and post them here. You take the pictures and I do the captions.

On the captions I reveal what I have learned about the girl on our date the night before and you can critique her mother’s cooking or her father’s Mehrieh demands! 

On the way back, we stop in Croatia and have Rea help us do the same thing over there!


Esfand Aashena

فرامرز جان بیا یک زن خوب برات از ایران پیدا کنیم، از همه بهتر!

Esfand Aashena


شما بگو چه مدلیشو دوست داری؟  زن خونه، اهل کنسرت و پارتی، بلاند باشه یا هایلایت؟ همه رقمش هست!  از تجربه moji هم استفاده می‌کنیم کلاه سرت نره!  سنّ و سالش رو هم تعیین کن که وقت تلف نکنیم. 

مهریه و جهاز و این حرفها رو هم بی‌خیال!  خودم میشم شاهدت، آقا هم نمیخواد که مذهبی‌ نشه!  تو همون ایرون میریم دفتر اسناد رسمی‌ مهر و موم می‌زنیم تو شناسنامه، اینجا هم با خودته.  اگه خواستی‌ مثل Moji مهمونی بده، نخواستی سفره ابوالفضل بنداز، یا ملت رو دعوت کن BOYB تو Las Vegas!  خود دانی!  هدف فقط اینه که زنت بدیم قال قضیه رو بکنیم بره!  دیر بجنبی باید بفکر پرستار باشیم تا زن!

Everything is sacred


Soosan Khanoom

Santa MG

by Soosan Khanoom on

Thank you for putting me on the bad list ... I agree Oh definitely the bad list - I am a very naughty girl when I put my mind to it  ...  

 And Sour jan .... I am following you on the MKO blog and you are right on points there ....  Finally one is saying what I was saying all this time .... so thank you 

 now back to the regular programming here 

: )

 


Souri

another LOL

by Souri on

همونطور که گفتی‌: اون دیگه آخر کاره که مجبور میشن همه چیزو نصف نصف تقسیم کنن،،،،،،،،،،یعنی‌ بعداز اینکه دوران عشقو عاشقی و لاس و لوس زدن تموم شد،  و نوبت به یک زندگی‌ جدی رسید، اونوقته که کار‌ها خراب میشه.

مرحله تقسیم نصف به نصف کردن، مرحله آخره .....

اون چیزی که من گفتم (مرد زندگی‌ نبودن) دقیقا مرحله وسطی (بین1- عشق و عاشقی و 3- تقسیم کردن مال و مناله)

حالا بگذریم از اینکه  که آقایون ایرانی عزیز به هزار و یک حیله هم متوسل میشن تا همه حق و حقوق خانمشون رو نپردازن.

اما، از حق نگذریم، تازگی‌ها خانوم‌ها هم زرنگ شدن. این اواخر  داستان‌های جالبی‌ هم در مورد خانم‌های ایرانی در حین طلاق شنیدیم، که حیرت برانگیز بوده.

 


Mash Ghasem

چند پرسش معرفت جویانه !

Mash Ghasem


آیا این "فلرتشین" با آن  "فیلیشیو"  مرتبط است یا خیر ؟ صرفا  از منظر زبان شناسی البته.
آیا آن مردان ایرانی که تمام اقساط خانه و ماشین و ... را  پرداخت میکنند، و
آخر کار مجبور به تقسیم نصف نصف همه چیز میشن، مرد زندگی اند یا کدو
قلقلی؟ چرا این اواخر اینجا همه"لول" ند؟


Faramarz

وای خدا بدور!

Faramarz


 


فلرتشین دیگه چیه؟ یعنی باید چی بشیم؟ درد داره یا که اثرش زود میره؟


Souri

نظر منهم دقیقا همینه

Souri


فکر می‌کنم که مرد‌های ایرانی فقط به درد عشق و عاشقی و فلرتشین میخورن و بس!

اما مرد زندگی‌ نیستند. ببخشید ها...............لول


Anahid Hojjati

bad joke about baba Tahir :)

by Anahid Hojjati on

hala vaghti Baba tahir oryan shod, did it help his love ?


Soosan Khanoom

And Baba Tahir

by Soosan Khanoom on

I am a rose that grows on hills of love

I am a soul that learns the drills of love.

I am a heart in agony and joy.

From fire, chills, woes, and thrills of love. 


Faramarz

اشکال ما مردهای ایرانی اینه..

Faramarz


 


آناهید، حرفت درسته و ریسک این برنامه زیاده.

سوسن خانوم، ما مردهای ایرانی زیادی عاشق پیشه هستیم و تا سر کوچه بریم عاشق میشیم چه برسه به ایران!

من که هر روز صبح یک نخ به انگشتم میبندم که بخودم یاداوری کنم که عاشق اینو اون نشم!

همش تقصیر حافظ و مولوی و این بر و بچه هاست!