The Air Marshal on My Flight

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The Air Marshal on My Flight
by Faramarz
26-Sep-2010
 

I picked up a new hobby after 9/11 and I have been doing it ever since. These days, whenever I travel internationally, while I wait at the terminal to board the plane, I look at the faces of the passengers and try to guess who the Air Marshal on my flight is!

It all started back in October 2002 when my good friend, Jean Pierre (JP) and I travelled to France to check out the culinary scene in Lyon. Let me tell you a little bit about him. JP is a few years older than I am. He is a French guy who was born in Algeria when France ran the place. His father had a official position there. When he was a kid, he and his family had to pack up and leave in a hurry because the Algerian Resistance was defeating the French. He later on moved to the US, got married and settled here.

As we were waiting to board our connecting flight from New York to Paris, I sensed that somebody was watching me.  You know that feeling when you are busy doing something and all of a sudden, from the corner of your eye you catch someone checking you out. I calmly looked at him. The guy was wearing shades. His head was not moving, but you could see that his eyes were moving and observing everyone’s movements. He wore a pair of jeans, a short sleeve shirt and a pair of Nikes. He seemed to be in very good shape and ready to chase anyone down the aisle! And, he did not have any carry on luggage either. He was the first guy that boarded the plane, even before the First Class and the frequent flyers.

“Hey JP, can you guess who the Air Marshal on our flight is?” I quietly asked JP who was busy reading a book. He looked around but couldn’t come up with anything. I quietly whispered to him, “Don’t look now, but near the boarding ramp, there is a tall, skinny guy in jeans. I think that he is the one!” JP was not convinced!

We got on board and settled in our seats; two isle seats across from each other. And there he was, three rows back, on an isle seat with the full view of us and the left side of the cabin.

“Whatever you do, don’t make a sudden move or go towards the lavatories in the front! I don’t want to get this guy excited! Just use the lavatories in the back or wait till we get to Paris!” I told JP jokingly.

A few minutes later, we saw an attractive Middle-Eastern looking woman walking down the isle and coming towards us.

“Check her out! I wonder where she is from! She might be from your neck of the woods!” JP said. She looked exotic with long black hair and big brown eyes. She definitely had Middle-Eastern genes, but she seemed friendly and at ease, as if she was raised in a more relaxed environment!

She was carrying a musical instrument box, the size of a violin. Her window seat was three rows back and right across from the Air Marshal. As she was struggling to put her stuff in the overhead bin, I quickly got up and helped her put the musical instrument away.

“What type of instrument do you play?” I asked.

The instrument was like a violin with a short bow.  She said that she was Brazilian of Syrian decent and was heading to Barcelona to perform in a musical festival. I was surprised how forthcoming she was with her personal information. Maybe she felt a connection, who knows.

The Air Marshal quietly sat there and took in our interaction. I had read about a lawless, tri-border region in South America in between Brazil, Paraguay and Argentina where Hezbollah was getting its funding from Lebanese and Syrian immigrants. The Buenos Aires terrorists came from that area also.

I went back to my seat. “Did you find out where she is from?” JP asked.

“She is from the Hezbollah region of Brazil! Now it all makes sense! Your American passport says that you were born in Algeria. Mine says that I was born in Iran. With her on the flight, we have the “Axis of Evil” at 35,000 feet! No wonder they put an Air Marshal on this flight!”

After the take off, the attendants served some good French wine. I asked one of them if I could buy a drink for the gentleman who sat on the isle seat, three rows back! She went back there and talked to him. He gave me a serious look and said, “No thanks!” I think that by now he had figured out that there were no terrorists on this flight. But I was not going to take the chance and walk towards the cockpit!

JP and I decided to have a little fun with the Air Marshal. JP knows a few phrases in Farsi that he uses all the time. Every time, we went to the lavatory in the back, as we passed by the Marshal, we said, “I am going to the bathroom sir!” and then we put our right hands across our chests, bow our heads slightly and without making an eye contact, say, “Chaakeram! Mokhlesam! Safaa to!”

چاکرم

ما مخلصیم

نوکرتم

صفا تو

He just ignored us completely!

When the flight landed in Paris and everyone got into the Immigration line, I saw him being escorted by a French policeman through a “Do Not Exit” door. He was definitely an Air Marshal!

On the flight back from France, I kept looking for the Air Marshal, but couldn’t spot any. I guess that the guy must have written a good report on us!

As new immigrants to this land, we have seen a lot and been through a lot, but by relying on our wisdom and character, as well as our family and our friends, we have been able to overcome many obstacles and grow stronger every day. The future is bright!

Here is a small cognac maker in the Cognac region of France and one of my favorites.

http://www.aedor.com/us/index.htm

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Monda

Faramarz, this week in Nat'l Insecurity

by Monda on


http://motherjones.com/mojo/2010/09/week-national-insecurity-frequent-fliers-edition

 (avaz in ke be DA teffl e massoom negh bezani) 

Welcome, insecure reader, to the friendly skies of national defense! In this weekly link dump: Air marshals are freeloaders; WikiLeaks Wiki-locks down on its public image; dirty subs, built dirt-cheap; Iranian arms dealers stop for cheesesteaks; your granddaddy's Medal of Honor means bubkis at the White House; and a tea party Republican exaggerates just a teensy bit about his military experience.

The sitrep:

The United States government's national threat level is Elevated, or Yellow. You're welcome.

  • Sky marshals, who fly with you (for free) to prevent a hijacking, sit in first class a lot.Which airline executives don't like. Not because "a free ride in a fluffy seat" costs the airlines money, mind you, but because it's less secure. Silly air executives: Protecting profits is a national security issue. Every good free-marketeer knows that.
  • What's long, hard, and wrapped in a "Wal-Mart tarp"? The Navy's new $2 billion submarines, whose super-stealth coating falls apart in the water. It turns out that cutting costs on the construction of nuclear vessels is not totally a good thing.
  • What's the best investigative national security story you haven't heard about? It's this


Anonymouse

این سرگرد هم که هم در این دنیا هم در آخرت لیبراله!

Anonymouse


 

مجید جان خوب فینگلیش رو میذاره تو بهنویس و بعد بهنویس رو میذاره تو گوگل! اگه می‌خواین نفهمه زرگری بنویسید، فرامرز که قبلا گفت!

فرامرز جان من تا مدتها سوار هواپیما نشدم، یعنی‌ ۲ یا ۳ سال.  یکی‌ دوبار ۶ یا ۷ ساعت رانندگی‌ کردن رو ترجیح دادم و سوار هواپیما نشدم! 

Everything is sacred


Mardom Mazloom

Faramarz jan, kodoom democracy ghorboonet?

by Mardom Mazloom on

I'm not siding with what Sargord says usually. When I don't agree with what he says, I tell him in the corresponding thread which usually talks about Iranian internal affairs!

Massoud and Majid, to not call names, were both advocating for the boycott of the rigged elections, now that

- True Iranians found a crack on the whole system and massively went and voted against what Khamenei and his band expected

- and that they paid for their lives to say NO to the regime, as they could, since one year.

These guys jumped into the boat and now are advocating for people rights and democracry, bla-bla-blah, and punch at Sargord who has more a problem with his royalist aunts than with people on IC talking about Iran!

Zaeef koshi. Ya be ebarat digeh:

Vaghti kessi harfayeh sisassito yek pashiz ham nemikhareh // aghalan zaeef koshi kon, halesho bebar!!

Massoud jan, toro khoda hamoon blog-hayeh khandeh dareto bezan, agar kari az dastet bar nemiad bara Iran bokoni aghalan del IC-omers ha ro khosh kon, merci!


maziar 58

profiling ?

by maziar 58 on

Or ignorance.....

As we say in persian : aan ra ke hessab paak ast az mohasebe che baak ?

how ever couple years ago I landed at Benito Juarez airport in Mexico city with my american passport in hand to be stamped for entery .....

The Immigration officer said BEN VENIDOS then seeing Iran and unfamiliar name asked me WHY I came to Mexico ?

I responded : BUSCANDO EL TRABAJO !

we both laughed and I enterd .             Maziar


Faramarz

یکشنبه شب شلوغ در کافه ایرانیان داتکام!

Faramarz


Dear Friends,

Thank you for your comments and words of encouragement. 

Unfortunately, there is a down side to democracy and the freedom of speech. The same people, who are filling the air with their hateful talks here, under the guise of the freedom of speech, will be the first ones to deny others the same rights back in Iran.

 


Anahid Hojjati

Nice story Faramarz and the rest of thread is fun too

by Anahid Hojjati on

Faramarz jan, I enjoyed your story. Comments from past couple hours havaye deegaree darand ama zeeba hastand. The pro IRI people on IC are very porroo so it is good for them to get their dues every once in a while.


Majid

با عذر خواهی از فرامرز عزیز

Majid


 

 


ماندا جان چیز بخصوصی اتفّاق نیفتاده، داشتیم از بلاگ فرامرز لذّت میبردیم که یه دفه «مثل همیشه» یکی دو نفر که میخوان  پو پوی احمدی رو با قاشق سبز بخورن پریدن وسط و بلاگ رو ذبح اسلامی کردن! شما و فرامرز عزیز ببخشین!


Monda

what's happening here baba?!

by Monda on

I had to scroll up and down to make sure this was the right thread!

Simply wanted to let you know Faramarz, that I enjoyed reading this very much.

 


Fair

Dear Majid and Masoud,

by Fair on

Doroud bar shoma hamvatanane aziz.  Majid Jan that was brilliant!


Masoud Kazemzadeh

Dear Majid

by Masoud Kazemzadeh on

Majid jaan,

Well said my friend.

Masoud


Majid

MK (John) :-)

by Majid on

 

 

Cho hagh talkh ast baa shirin zabaani

hekaayat sar konam aansaan ke daani  (Marhoom Abbas Towfigh)

 


Masoud Kazemzadeh

مجید جان

Masoud Kazemzadeh


You have great sense of humor.

Best,

Masoud


Masoud Kazemzadeh

Dear Fair

by Masoud Kazemzadeh on

Dear friend Fair,

I fully agree with you.

Highest regards,

Masoud


Majid

اوه مای گودنِس روز به جان!

Majid


 

 


از وی سپیک آی ام هوینگ اِ کُلد وان! اَکچو الی لِت می گِت انادِر وان...........

آ.....ه........ چیرز هموطن! کولد بیر فیلز سو.....گووو.........د!

مسعود جان هم داره حال میکنه دیگه!

میگن دو تا پاسبان داشتن قدم میزدن یه نقل علی خودشو انداخت وسط و گفت  منو واسه چی دستگیر کردین! حالا حکایت این قند علی یه!


Fair

Dear Masoud

by Fair on

Completely agreed, I am terribly sorry for him.

The good news is this person is going to get on his motorcycle to get his joojeh kabab in America.  Had he actually attempted this in Tehran and people knew who he was, this might have happened to him:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hamed/3633855064/

Good for him he is living safe and sound in exile:) Exile from the Iranian people that is...


Roozbeh_Gilani

Majid, this is funny!

by Roozbeh_Gilani on

Now, I fell for it, let alone bandeh khoda sar goroohban!

Vali mageh in masood khan dast bar midareh as sare in badbakht!

Nothing beats a few cans of ice cold beer and the iranian.com whilst the kids are in bed on a sunday night!

cheers!


Masoud Kazemzadeh

Dear Fair

by Masoud Kazemzadeh on

Dear friend Fair,

This character "Sargord Pirouz" is a disgusting anti-Iranian supporter of the fundamentalist terrorist regime. There is a consensus among the pro-democracy posters that "Sargord Pirouz" is a tarsoo and is doing what he does for sandis.

With all the best wishes,

Masoud


Sargord Pirouz

خندان!

Sargord Pirouz


I'm off to my joojeh kebab, you guys, aboard the motorcycle.

Later.

 


Fair

Majid Jan

by Fair on

Chakeram.  Kheili sepasgozar, bekhosoos jomleye akharat besyar zeeba bood:)


Fair

Loser maaloome keeyeh badbakhte beechare

by Fair on

to aslan vatan nadaree, yeh amrikayee hastee keh amrikayee haye deegar ra dar foroodgah meetarsoonee, baad khodet ra meechaspoonee beh yeh melliatee keh aslan ba mardomesh nemetoonee harf bezanee.

Vaghaan badbakte loser mesle to jaye taasofe faravan darad.  Botehye beereesheh, har ja keh baad meevazad, charehee nadarad keh beh anja beravad.

Sargode badbakht dar jostejoye hoviyattash nakam mandeh ast.  Hata darejash ham taghalobi ast:)


Majid

روزبه

Majid


 

 

«فِیر» فارسی مینویسه و خوب هم مینویسه! اینجوری «پینگلیش» نوشتن در گوگل قابل ترجمه نیست! اینم یه جور کلک مرغابیه و مثل پیف پاف عمل میکنه!

ایتز لایک رایتینگ لایک دیس، ویچ کَن نات بی ترانس لِی تِد بای گوگِل! پرتی شارپ (-: 


Sargord Pirouz

All comers tonight!

by Sargord Pirouz on

My, my.

The poor losers of the last three decades come togather on this Sunday night.

Well, we've strayed far from the Air Marshall topic- haven't we. So typical.


Sargord Pirouz

poor lost Massoud

by Sargord Pirouz on

More like: With Iranian seditionists like you, the Iranian government is both sound and safe.

For guys like you, its just another year spent in frustrating exile. Then the next, and then the next... all the while, kicking and streaming about how things are in the lost wonderland of a Meehan that never was. And, that Meehan has moved on, away from your typical exile mindset. 

Me? Well adjusted with the reality of it all. And, making myself count, by voting in both systems. 


Masoud Kazemzadeh

Dear Fair

by Masoud Kazemzadeh on

Fair jaan,

Gol gofti. 

Fekr nakonam, bevatan Farsi saresh besheh.  Goya sandis khor khareji-eh.

Masoud 


Roozbeh_Gilani

Dear Fair, you might want to give this this link a try:

by Roozbeh_Gilani on


AMIR1973

Groupie of a "Death to America" regime living in America

by AMIR1973 on

Let's just say I'm more confident of my First Ammendment rights, given the fact that I'm not naturalized, unlike you guys. 

Besides being a groupie of an anti-Iranian, anti-American terrorist regime who resides in the U.S., the Phony Sargord suffers from illiteracy and cannot spell the word "amendment". Good job, Phony Sargord. Cheers  .-)


Fair

Bevatan

by Fair on

Vaghti mamlekate to nist, aram boodan rahat ast.  To keh delat nasookhteh bevatan, to heech bakit neest agar hokoomate hakem bar Iran motahajjer tarin dolat -e rooye zameen ast. 

An kasee aram nadarad keh az anja meeyad (ya beghol khodat "tab'idi") va meebeenad cheh balaee sare mardomash darad meeayad, na adame beevatanee khodforooshee mesleh to.

Boro khosh bash. Masoud rast meegeh, joojeha ra akhare paeez meeshmorand.  Albateh joojej janevaranee mesleh to keeloye panj zaran va ba bad zereshan ra avaz khahand kard. Motmaenan dar anja to ham chaploosi az har khari keh sare kar khahad bood khahi kard.

Cheezi keh ayan ast, cheh hajat beh bayan ast.  Beekhod neest ma beh een badbakhtee oftadeem, mordehye motaharreke bevatane sandis khor mesle to zeeyadi dareem.


Majid

Sargord

by Majid on

You were not my target, he'll get it!


Sargord Pirouz

Massoud

by Sargord Pirouz on

Tonight I'll be having joojeh kebab for dinner, in your "honor." 

(it's my favorite) 


Sargord Pirouz

You're funny, Majid. And

by Sargord Pirouz on

You're funny, Majid. And yeah, that old saying was pertinent. 

Man, the level of hate and frustration exhibited by some of you exiles is a spectacle to behold.

Me? Calm as can be....