GOOD NEWS; this is my last blog

by Faramarz_Fateh

A few weeks ago, my wife gave me an ultimatum that if I continue my Islam bashing in any shape or form, privately or publicly, she would leave me.  We've been married 31+ years.

I did not take her seriously enough until last Sunday.  Early afternoon on Sunday I wrote a blog and shortly it was posted on this site.  Around 10pm after my wife had gotten back home from a Bahai function, a mutual friend called her and told her about my latest master piece.

After reading it, she came to me and asked me to contact JJ to remove the posting and that we needed to talk.  Since I didn't take action and our discussion got too heated without really getting anywhere she left the family room and went up to the bedroom to cool off; or so I thought.

At 1am, as I was watching TV I saw her placing 3 suitcases by the front door.  First I thought she was throwing my ass out but then I found out she was leaving to go to her sister's home in San Diego.

To make a long story short, after 2 hours of begging her to stay and promising not to write and contacting JJ via email at 3am for removal of the post, she agreed to stay.  THANK GOD. Without her I am useless as a human being.

So, for those of you who thought I was a bad writer or I was too negative or too much of an Islam and religion basher, good news:  This is my last piece.  Thank you for indulging me.  And many many thanks to Mr. Jahanshah Javid for being such a pioneer in this field for us Iranians.

God bless you JJ.  Keep up the good work.  I hope we have more and more open minded Iranians like you in many other arenas of this society.  You provide a great service.


Signing off from Los Angeles


more from Faramarz_Fateh

I Offer My Respect to You, FF

by scb (not verified) on

Dear FF:

I offer my respect to you for loving your wife and let me also offer my complete respect to your wife for defending Islam, which is full of beauty and compassion when it is not overwhelmed by misguided mullahs.

The real teaching of the Baha'i Faith is to revere both the Bab and Baha'u'llah; every Baha'i is well aware of the claim of the Bab, we recognize him as the Qaim and feel fortunate to have the knowledge.

Let's work together on tolerance, let's not bash . . .anyone, anymore. The son of Baha'u'llah, Abdul Baha, told us over and over that where religion divides, it should be thrown out!

It is very hard for western-educated Baha'is to understand Baha'i Teachings without learning about Islam. We see its beauty without having experienced the corruption of it. Maybe there is something valuable to be learned in this . . .

Maybe we should all study someone else's creed so we can learn how to respect one another in real time. On the other hand I understand the potential relief of venting into the blogosphere . . .

Best of Luck, Faramaz


bahai doctrine of intolerance?

by Anonymous 1 (not verified) on

I don't understand why your blog's content has anything to do with marital respect or harmony, unless your wife is an intolerant individual, or brianwashed to be so. It is not like you're saying those to her face, is it?

I can potentially forsee problems, where for instance, one spends time in sex sites, gambling sites or just too much time on-line, but this is absurd.

Bahais, like all other religions are cults, which makes seemingly normal individuals act in irrational, dictatorial manner.


مارجی جون قربون هرچی آدم چیز فهم

Anti-bullshit IE (not verified)

میدونستم تو حرف دل منو میفهمی...

اینها کیند اینجا انقدر قدقد میکنند؟


vallas con dios

by maziar 058 (not verified) on

bye Mr. Fateh good luck on every thing else...
But on the other hand you CAN still write your opinions to under (FISH)unregistered commentators you know. just a suggestion. you decide.

I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek

Faramarz' Blogs

by I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek on

You know he wrote this blog about organic food being such a bust. Since this topic is pretty much dead, just wanted to say Faramarz did you know that the salmonella peanut factory in georgia had a USDA organic certification? Organic doesn't equal safe food. I'm not sure if you mentioned this! But your blog was much more interesting now that this case has come up.

Koochi koochi! PS congrats on 31 years. It's funny that you are Iranian and this topic of islam bashing JUST came up. What were you and wife discussing in the 80s and 90s? the crusades? jesus!

I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek


by I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek on

This anti-bullshit person is absolutely too funny. Thank you for making this topic funny. I find all the "goodbye blogs" funny too. Way to have the guts, as much as possible in an anonymous fishy hahahahaha. koochi koochi nazi nazi 

anonymous fish


by anonymous fish on

unfortunately, those concerns that you mentioned are totally irrelevant, especially to ms. bullshit.  opps, sorry, was that supposed to be ANTI-bullshit?  anyhoo...

you're right of course... but the main issue that she is arguing is the submission/oppression issue.  it's always interesting when i hear such comments coming from a woman.  generally, they are NOT married nor likely to be anytime 

do you not see the absolute double standards?  by making such strong statements against oppression, she is guilty of just that!!!  oppressing a partners opinion or wishes by stating YOUR refusal to compromise! 

What would I do? I would tell her to stuff her religion in a pipe and smoke it.

well yeah, that's the ticket.  just completely suppress THEIR 

i'm religious... my husband is not.  if he were to post articles right and left about my faith, i would be upset too.  it's a very VERY narrow minded person who wants to perceive my request as an order or an ultimatum.  is this his source of income?  is he a leader of some opposition group?  is MY religion illegal?  NO.  he has an obligation to our marriage to consider my feelings.  just as i do his.  it's called "give and take".  NOT take take take. 

but most rationale people understand this and have successful marriages. 

peace out.



Re: Rosie

by AnonymousX (not verified) on

She may be Bahai, nevertheless it is still suppression of others' opinion, very similar to Islamic suppression.


Now your'e talking Souri!

by Anti-bullshit IW (not verified) on

I can dig the explanation you just gave. I'll buy it for now -- but, if that were the reason, the writer would have made some reference to it, wouldn't he?!

Anyways, I knew there was a reason I liked you. You're a real khanom -- even if you have more tolerance for naz nazi people than I do!


Off track again

by Souri on


There's something here, you are missing totally. One of the problem (maybe the most important) here is that, if Mr. Fateh's wife has still family members living in Iran, they could become in danger. The other fact is, Mr Fateh's wife would be in danger if she wants to go to Iran for a visit and also her families may not be able to leave Iran to see their loved ones. There are many other aspects in that subject. I'm sure if you think seriously about them, you would find this lady's request very much legitimate.

About smoking religion in a pipe......Well,

Live and let live.



by Choon Tank (not verified) on

So... when Mr. Fateh's wife says I want this and I am leaving she is a feminist? Likewise when Mr. Fateh ignores his wife's wishes he is a feminist too? or is he a chauvinist?


OK ladies, here goes...

by Anti-bullshit IW (not verified) on

Souri writes: "Mr Fateh's wife has a religion which is against bashing and mocking and ridiculing other religion/faith. They could criticize seriously, but they don't approve of insult and accusation (which Mr Fateh does regularly) so what would YOU do in this situation?"

What would I do? I would tell her to stuff her religion in a pipe and smoke it. But that's just me, you see. I don't mince words and I don't associate with goody-two-shoes of any ilk. I certainly don't marry them.

Now don't get me wrong, I get quite disgusted by both zionist-flavored Islam bashing and holier-than-thou and extremely unimaginative and uninteresting Bahai "I'm OK, you're OK, God is OK" -- or whatever it is that they so insist on preaching all the time. BUT... whatever is whoever's song and dance, it's nobody's place to tell them to sit and suck sumac.

Anyways this Farmarz dude is just being coy. Hey koochi koochi nazi nazi Faramarz khan, shoma naz beshi elahi ke enghadr zaneto doost dari. Zanet ham naz besheh elahyi ke enghadr ma mosalmoonaro doost dareh. Inshallah be paye ham pir beshid. I never more than glance at your blogs anyway -- this time you made a promise I couldn't refuse!


What a relief! one less extremist on this website

by relieved (not verified) on

I am glad you are leaving, unless it's another ploy for you to come back under a new name. The extremist Israeli stooges and their supporters will miss you but not the rest of us.

anonymous fish


by anonymous fish on

damn straight!  i applaud you for standing your ground.  i was afraid that i'd attract too much attention and be accused of being the "american wife" our dear friend has described if i said anything...LOL.

it's women like this who give feminists a bad name.  by making claims of "not being told what to do or who to talk to", she erodes the very platform of mutual respect.  partners in a successful marriage DO care how their spouse feels and they act accordingly. 

more assumptions.



On marriage

by Souri on

Madame, you said you are happily married. What is the base of a happy marriage (happy relationship in general) for you?

I believe, the basic rule is "mutual respect" and when I say respect, I
mean respecting all and everything which is dear to the significant
other, including their beliefs.

My husband is French. It is sure that if I see him bashing my culture, my country, all the time, without ceasing, I would have a serious talk with him. Even if I agree with what he thinks about those subjects, but I refuse to hear him bashing or ridiculing the aspects of my culture/country that I meslef are not agree with.

Mr Fateh's wife has a religion which is against bashing and mocking and ridiculing other religion/faith. They could criticize seriously, but they don't approve of insult and accusation (which Mr Fateh does regularly) so what would YOU do in this situation? 

When I talked about feminism, I talked about your views on "marriage" and relationship in general which is too much of : "Me, me, me......and again Me. I do believe, then I do whatever I want regardless of what my partner like or dislike" 

Then, if we don't have the minimum of respect for our partner's beliefs, what is keeping us in the relationship for so long?


Souri khanom

by Anti-bullshit IW (not verified) on

I suggest you read my comment. I said "what or to whom I write" (in the context of if my husband dared to dictate to me). "What" means whatsoever -- including Islam bashing, Islam worship, pro this, con that, etc.

And yes, I am very much a feminist but that comes second to my deep dislike of any kind of zoor-gooyi and oppression. Anyways, since when defending the autonomy of men is considered "feminist"? It's usually considered the opposite!


Anti-bullshit woman

by Souri on

Madame, you are completely off-track!! Mr Fateh never said that his wife is leaving him because he spend too much time on, or he is corresponding with other readers.

I suggest you take time to read a text/blog, very carefully before jumping on the conclusion and making your "feministic" statement based on a false impression. What Mr Fateh said clearly is this :

A few weeks ago, my wife gave me an ultimatum that if I continue my
Islam bashing in any shape or form, privately or publicly,
she would
leave me.  We've been married 31+ years.

The main problem is "Islam bashing" whether in a party, a gathering, or at a website it now?


Let me tell you my story...!

by Anti-bullshit Iranian woman (not verified) on

I have been writing on for a long time. A few years ago, on the other site where we all had email addresses with which readers corresponded with us, I did a couple of back-and-forth emails with an Iranian guy who also wrote on the site. I am totally used to communicating freely with whomever I please and, being happily married, have no desire to start anything illicit with anybody. And I am perfectly able of expressing myself in an open and friendly manner without getting too chummy. This poor guy was also communicating in the same manner.

One day I got an email from his wife informing me who she was. She had logged in to her husband's account and having read my emails and noting that there was nothing wrong with them, she appealed to me as a fellow woman to stop corresponding with her husband who was a lying, cheating SOB. She was American and wrote something like "women from your culture" this and that -- she didn't say anything bad but the "your culture" got on my nerves. I mean, she said they had been married for decades and still couldn't bring herself to at least name "my culture"? So, I said to her that whatever problem she was having with her husband has nothing to do with me and it was not up to anyone to tell me whom to correspond with, especially when she could very well see that there was nothing objectionable to our correspondence. I told her that I wrote to a number of people who wrote to me after reading my writing. She blew up and accused me of being a whore and that sort of thing. I never did write to the poor guy again, nor he to me, and I don't know what happened to them. Now we hear about Mr. Fateh -- if the story is true!

Hey guys, let me tell you something. If my husband DARED to tell me what or to whom to write I would kick his butt out of the house. And you ladies who have left comments here, all of you would be cheering me for doing that. Why the f... are you supporting an act of bullying when a woman is doing it? The guy spends too much time on Well, dear lovely wives without whom "I am nothing," maybe your company is boring. Maybe you have nothing to say. Maybe there are men and women on this site whose intellectual company is something your not-brain dead husband enjoys? Jealous? Frustrated? Go read Parinaz and get some ideas for Christ's sake.


Congratulations to you and your wife

by Lefty Lap Poodle (not verified) on

Congratulations to you and your wife for showing us your humanity. Sometimes it takes hurting a loved one to understand what our actions mean to others.

You are not apologizing for bashing Islam in your blogs but you are respecting your wife's wishes by not bashing it here any more which is what any sensitive and reasonable would do. They do not bash Islam out of respect for others.

Some people commiting present day crimes in the name of Islam is another story.

Darius Kadivar

Sorry to see you leave ...

by Darius Kadivar on

Sorry about that. Thank you for your contributions nevertheless. But like they said below you can always write about other issues and not necessarily try and bash anyone or any issue. Debating with arguments is the key in any conversation be it online or offline. But your marriage is more sacred than anything else. Good luck in your other endeavors nevertheless.




To: Faryarm

by Annonymous The Clarifier (not verified) on

Without "Bab" there would be no "Bahaullah" - Bab clearly indicated that someone superior would come after him. Also, Mirza Hussayn-Ali Nouri (later renaming himself as "Bahaullah") was a follower of Bab.

It is well known that the followers of the Bahai Faith would like to "downplay" the significance of Bab's claim to be the second coming of Imam Zaman (the twelfth Shia Imam). Nevertheless, history is very clear on this issue, and his claim is there for all to see.

P.S. In all due respect, it didn't take me half a page, and 20+ lines to say this either, trying to confuse people! - Please Stop Being Defensive :)

Have a nice day ......



by Delta Don (not verified) on

just about all religions (except Zapataism) are cults. Of course they are cults. Look at the interactions between religious opinions in this site among 40 permanent cast of characters.

Bashing however is not good, because you are hurting people within their cults and as long as they do not hurt you let them be in their cult.

Your wife's threat was a bit too far. She should have tried to talk you into changing your behavior and not packing up and leaving. Somewhat life in her sister's apartment seems more interesting and you need to find out why? Try to reason with her so next time you make a mistake she try not to revolt for the sake of the marraige. What happened to "ashes to ashes"....

I despise ultimatums....

good luck next time


An acute lack of knowledge ..

by faryarm on


Use of Buzzwords like “Cult” to describe a world wide community is simply wrong.

A Cult Typically has the following: 

1. The Leader

2. The Use of "Controlling" Techniques

3. Social and Physical Isolation

4.Extremist or Fanatical Behavior

5.Secrecy and Deception .

Bahais have none of the Above.

They have:

1. An administrative order that is democratically elected by local, national and International assembly. 

Bahais have no professional clergy or any ONE religious leader; just devoted servants to community.

2. Bahais are encouraged to independently search for the truth and not to accept anything without deep and open minded examination .

3. Bahais come from every race, religion and background and are productive members of their communities anywhere on the planet where there is human community.

4. Bahais believe in moderation , and oppose extremist or  pervasive fanatical behaviour. 

5. Bahai communities are open to everyone, The Bahai Houses of worship are open to all and anyone who enters.

The Bahai Faith gets its legitimacy from thousands of years of divine promises; promises that point to a golden age of human maturity.

The Bahai Faith gets its legitimacy from the modern and relevant teachings of Baha'u'llah; teachings  for an emerging global society that is desperate for unity and peaceful coexistence.

An age old fulfillment of prophecy common to all previous religions. 

Your “skeptical” view  of the Bahai Faith, can only come from an acute lack of knowledge about its history and teachings, or a decidedly intolerant stance.



Mola Nasredeen


by Mola Nasredeen on

You got a point there.


I feel with you

by rumi (not verified) on

Dear FF,

what a story :-) God bless you for working out your marital issues and hopefully we will see you write again.

Love the determination of your wife. I am sure it was not easy.

thanks for sharing a wonderfully human story.

Shazde Asdola Mirza

ببخشید، ولی‌ شما ها هم رفتین واسه خودتون دین پیدا کردین ها!

Shazde Asdola Mirza

عرق که نمیخورین، دروغ که نمیگین، دزدی که نمیکنین، دختر بازی که ممنوعه، حال دیگه حتی‌ فحش آخوند هم نمیتونین بدین؟

داداش بیا مسلمون شو و از این همه قل و زنجیر خودتو نجات بده!


Dear Faramarz

by An Observer (not verified) on

Although I am highly skeptical of the Bahai Faith in general, and in my eyes, it resembles more a 'Cult' than a regular religion, nevertheless, I believe that the stand that your wife took was admirable.

You have to understand one thing: the Bahai Faith gets its legitimacy through 'Bab', who claimed to be the re-appearance of the twelfth Shia Imam (The Mahdi). By you dissing and attacking Islam, you would be in effect 'indirectly' attacking 'Bab', hence The Bahai Faith.

Regardless, I would like to wish you the best .......


My good man!

by SamSamIIII on

Excluding your sometimes misdirected approach (singling out religion) ,Your heart is in the right place which is for true Iran & I dont consider you an Islamophobic but a passionate patriot venting out his frustrations for what ailes his heritage . I say misdirected, since you have the right vision with a bit flawed delivery system . In todays status que Pan-Arab whipped culture the main beast is the ugly head of Ommatism & fraternal freemesonry of Taazi glory . Kill the beast but leave God alone . religions can stay but we need to throw away the dirty laundry .

Your wife,s ultimatum might pretty well be the blessing in disguise to tilt your vent at the right target ..keep it simple pal, keep it simple..problem is not Allah , it,s the savage NasrAllah who commited genocide,rape & pillage against our old Iran & her heritage using Allah as a cover .  our problem is with their modern lineage ..

You are a true patriot & I wish you God speed






جای شوکرش باقی که...

بچه شیر (not verified)

دلیل این خدا حافظی نه تقصیر ایرانیان دات کام بود و نه تقصیر جهانشاه و گر نه این خداحافظی شیش ماه طول میکشید... تنکس فور گویینگ ییذی ان عاس!


Dude join the club. Just

by TheMrs on

Dude join the club. Just use an anonymous log in. How's she going to know? Not that I am promoting lying to your spouse. And not that I've ever lied to my lover. No body some me do it and no one can prove anything. Honey if you're reading this, it's my ghost, not me.