keep your miseries to yourself

bajenaghe naghi
by bajenaghe naghi
28-Jul-2008
 

Robert Reich is a stanford man and a CPA who operates from his one-man office above my store. he is in his early seventies and has been a accountant for who knows how long.  some years ago robert told me something that has stayed with me and has helped me very much. he told me to always have a smile on my face and any time any one asks me how I am, no matter how miserable i may be i should smile and say to the person that everything is going just great. he said that people ask how you are not to find out how you are but just to be polite. everyone has his or her own problems and no one has neither the time or the desire to sit and listen to you complaining. of course close friends and family are exceptional. since then i have been walking around looking happy and content telling everyone how great life is and how happy i am even in my darkest times. i have noticed that i have made more friends since smiling and funny enough all these friends also have smiles of their own on their faces.

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bajenaghe naghi

monda jan

by bajenaghe naghi on

that was a great story. you must have the patience of a monk. i must tell you that i don't. in my business i give 110% of myself to my customers and that is why i have return customers all day long. they know me by my first name and i know then by theirs. no matter what is going on in my life (not a easy or sweet life i must admit) i am smiling at every customer and make them feel they are the center of my world. by the time i go home in the evenings i am drained of all the energy. that is the way i treat my customers and when i go to a store or a restaurant i want them to treat me like a human being. not like a king or someone important, just a human being. if they don't i will not go back there again. some people shut themselves in and hide behind a protective facade as this woman has been  doing for such a long time till you penetrated it in your gentle way and got to her. most people neither have the time or patience nor the inclination of getting involved. this woman is stressed out and needs help before she has a break down.  


Monda

bajenaghe jan

by Monda on

Thank you for your response. You sound like such a sensitive and understanding person.

Just to give you a heads up though about the female customers who'd like to chew you out with their uncivilized attitude: That is not necessarily PMS; they could be suffering from some type of personality disorder! Seriously, being a woman I have been the punching bag to some random females myself. It's totally unfair, I hear you, it can be even hurtful depending on where I am on that day, that particular moment. My experience has been that if I gently confront them with what they throw at me, they lighten up. For example, there's this female Iranian deli owner who couldn't stand me, or any customer who don't shop for zereshk or bastani akbar mashti, without wearing heavy make up or fancy bags. She never gave a hoot that I exist in that store desperately searching for items. And at moment she let me know that she didn't give a hoot!  Finally last year one day around Norooz she really got to me (my PMS? my agenda for the day having to accomplish 30 things before saal tahveel? who knows?) I went to her counter and said: midooni khanom, I've been your customer for the past 6 years since you opened here, my name is .... as you may have noticed on my pre-orders for maahi doodi, maahi sefeed and fresh sabzis..., but it's beginning to get to me (naaraahatam mikoneh) that I have never been acknowledged aside from saying merci at the end of my transaction! I would appreciate it so much though if I get a taheh ghalb help from you when I spend my money and my lunch break at your store desperately looking for items. You know what she said (porroo porroo)? "Well you can drive all the way to Berkeley to buy your iranian food necessities!" I thought nahh, that didn't do it for me either! So I improvised: aide shoma mobarak and next time I will drive to that supermarket in Berkeley only not to get unfriendly treatment from the shop-owner. (I said it politely and gently) Suddenly her eyes filled up with tears: khanom nemidooneed cheghadre kaaram ziadeh..., people just come in here and expect a woman store owner to give them service on her hands and knees...I'm so sick of customers mistreating me, etc she opened up, we chatted (I was late for a client), she brought me tea and we had a heart 2 heart for 10 minutes...she finally gave that smile! I let her know how different my experience would be now that I know her,... Since then every time I walk in there, we salaam khasteh nabaashi at each other and chit chat a few minutes while she rings me up.

My musband walked in there to pick up a few things for me and he was caught in the owner's attitude, he fumingly announced that he'd never step in that bitch's store again! I genlty empathised with him BUT I let him figure it out for himself! (my PMS? too many things on my mind before guests arrived? who knows?!)

 

 


bajenaghe naghi

monda jan

by bajenaghe naghi on

i agree with you 100%. it is very stupid to hide the truth from your family and friends. you need to be honest and yek rang with these people and tell them what is going on in your life but too much bitching and complaining even to your loved ones is no good either. as you say moderation is the ticket.


bajenaghe naghi

anonypishi jan

by bajenaghe naghi on

i definately enjoyed this video and i must show it to maryam too.

i know woman are sick of getting pms every month but don't forget we men are the recipients of all the violence and bad language. you women get it once a month but we men become victims of your affliction every day. there is no day that a woman with pms does not come to my shop and get angry with me and tell me to shut up or she will break my neck. but that is another story. 

 

 


default

Robert Reich does not have to deal with PMS

by Anonypishi (not verified) on

Ms. Dolly Parton explains it:


Monda

Don't you think it gets boring though?

by Monda on

I agree with your strategy only if you see a person once in awhile.

It would really get under my skin however if I see someone lets say once a week/heck even once a month and I'm fed: hameh chee aali, kheili khoobam, merci...khodet chetori? When they ask me that question, even if I feel wonderful, I catch myself answering "not bad" or I start talking about why I feel the way I feel, good or not. Because I want to hear the real report in return, heartfelt and authentic, not some generic BS...If I don't care to know how they really feel at that moment I wouldn't bother to ask. For the same reason if I look unhealthy to someone I know, I want to hear the truth so I know they care about me. And if they don't care then I hope they remain aali, fantastic and kheilikhoob, forever and ever.

 


bajenaghe naghi

ebi jan

by bajenaghe naghi on

i have decided that i should not print a lot of blogs since people will get fed up and tired of me and my big mouth. so once a week will be enough. 

but regarding your office accountant i must say the man is in a mess. he should do a consolidated profit and loss of his life followed by a huge blance sheet of all his health assets and illness liabilities. sorry that was a boring accountant joke.

i heard that some of the monty python guys were accountants and they were funny too. i have known some accountants and i can say that on good days they have sense of humor but it is dry (some may call it wet). give them a drink or two and they chah chah like bolbol and tell you stories that kill you from laughing. 

ebi jan i always read your blogs and enjoy them to no end. 

 

 

 

 

 


ebi amirhosseini

Happy Holidays BN aziz !!

by ebi amirhosseini on

Long time no see bro!!

Our office accountant is a nice Philipino-American guy,about 67 years old,always smiling,chatting to everyone in office any chance he gets.I always tell him,to me you donot look like an accountant;since all the accountants I have dealt with,due to the nature of their work,are always serious( no disrespect to your accountant friend !!!).You have to know that he has a variety of diseases like : high blood pressure,high blood sugar,arthritis & has had a heart surgary some years ago!!.Despite all these,he always smiles . He is an inspiration to me. 


bajenaghe naghi

tin cans jan

by bajenaghe naghi on

you must be a very nice person with a big heart. but i think roberts lesson to me was more general that you show your happy side to people and don't burden them with your complaints constantly and smile and show them your happy side. this way people will not run away from you when they see you coming.


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Perhaps I am an exception,

by tin cans (not verified) on

Perhaps I am an exception, but I like to hear people's stories. It provides a better understaning of them for me, and it sometimes gives valubale lessons. Everything in moderation. If they open up, I'll be listening.


Darius Kadivar

Tashakor ;0)

by Darius Kadivar on

Avoid Cafeine though not very good for your sleep.

Ciao,

D


bajenaghe naghi

darius jan

by bajenaghe naghi on

I only have black tea like lipton. i have six cups of tea a day to keep my blood and veins clean and healthy. i also have four or five cups of coffee to keep my brain clean and healthy and my eyes open. i will drink my next cup of tea to your health and long life. 


Darius Kadivar

Thanks ;0)

by Darius Kadivar on

Wishing the Same to you. What Tea do you drink by the way ?

Noosheh Jan !


bajenaghe naghi

darius jan

by bajenaghe naghi on

this is very true and every picture of you i have seen you are smiling. you are a good grandson and enshala you will live longer than your dear gradpa. 


Darius Kadivar

Good Observation bajenaghe

by Darius Kadivar on

My Grandpa used to say that by keeping a smile you increase your life span and health. He lived to the age of 98 and always in good spirits.

Optimism is contagious ;0)

Cheers,

D