Who came in the glass Ferrari, and who pays the bill?

Share/Save/Bookmark

Who came in the glass Ferrari, and who pays the bill?
by Ari Siletz
17-Jan-2011
 

Had this weird dream last night where I and four other IC residents got together for dinner and drinks at an atomospheric Persian restaurant where every food was on the menu. There was JJ, Monda, Nazy, Majid and I. Each arrived in a different way. Someone came in a glass Ferrari, another one surfed through the door on a silver tea tray skateboard, one of us stepped out of a surplus Pahlavi kaaleskeh, and another jumped screaming out of the bus from the movie Speed. The person who materialized out of a Star Trek transporter beam right into the restaurant won the cheshm ham cheshmi. Funny though, I can’t remember from the dream which of us came in what form of transportation; I just remember what they were. That’s dreams for you!

Same with the foods; we each ordered something different: abgoosht, donbalan, mirza ghasemi, koofteh tabrizi, kaleh pacheh. The drinks we each ordered: margarita, martini, screwdriver, whiskey, and a strange new concoction called vodka sandis. The maitre d’ who looked like Firouzabadi in a mattress sized tux seated us in a row on a takht carpeted with a Baluchi design.

Then we got into a hot discussion about the bloggers we each obsessively track and read. Here’s the list: MPD, divaneh, Fred, Faramarz and Sargord. I only remember two people’s blog idol; the rest is a blank.

So now I need help figuring out who sat where on the takht, who ordered what food, what drink each ordered, what form of transportation we each used, and who was a devotee of which blogger. Before I woke up, Firouzabadi said that I would remember enough facts from the dream to sort it all out. I’m not sure whether to trust him, but here’s what I remember:

  1. I ordered a martini.
  2. The person sitting exactly in the middle came on the tea tray skateboard
  3. JJ ordered mirza ghasemi for dinner.
  4. Nazy kept checking her smart phone for the next MPD comment. She was sitting to the left of Monda.
  5. To the right of the person who sang praises for divaneh sat the person who ordered the screwdriver.
  6. Monda ordered abgoosht and liked Fred so much she said if only we were allowed five blogs a day Fred blogs could substitute for namaaz.
  7. The Sargord fan who knew by heart all the names people call Sargord sat next to the person who came in the fancy kaaleskeh.
  8. The person who ordered the margarita ordered kaleh pacheh for dinner.
  9. Majid ordered koofteh tabrizi and was sitting to the right of the person who ordered the screwdriver.
  10. The person who materialized in the Star Trek beam ordered a double scotch whiskey right away.
  11. Majid sat next to the person who jumped out of the Speed bus.
  12. Someone sitting at one end of the takht couldn’t stop talking about Farmarz blogs.
  13. The person who came on the skateboard ordered donbalan.
  14. The Faramarz groupie sat next to the Sargord fan.
  15. Whoever ordered the abgoosht was too drunk with whiskey to tileet bread.

In the dream, Firouzabadi said whoever ordered the vodka sandis had to pay the bill. That’s why we really need to figure this out.

Share/Save/Bookmark

Recently by Ari SiletzCommentsDate
چرا مصدق آسوده نمی خوابد.
8
Aug 17, 2012
This blog makes me a plagarist
2
Aug 16, 2012
Double standards outside the boxing ring
6
Aug 12, 2012
more from Ari Siletz
 
Monda

This was Brilliant Ari!

by Monda on

Not only because of all the thoughtful compliments I collected! Except... I have never drank whiskey in my life. Now that I know it's dubbed "water of life", I should try it before I'm too old to digest the aabgoosht. 

I must say, when I first saw your blog I assumed it to be one of those which you write so that some people wouldn't go near it. Those of us who are bad in math this is. I even imagined there to be talk of matrix, probability and such... 

From now on Ari, I will read and re-read any blog of yours until I'm positively sure that I don't comprehend it. 

 


Ari Siletz

Monda

by Ari Siletz on

 Here you are with your dream symbols:

1. Had abgoosht (earthiness)

2. Arrived in the Star Trek beam (reaches goals through intuition) 

3. dream associates you with Fred blogs (Freud--without the 'U')

4. Drank whiskey ( whiskey means 'water of life' in old Irish)

5. Sat second from the end of the table  (Perhaps anyone too drunk in the dream to tileet her abgoosht couldn't be seated at the end of the table where she could fall off and ruin the puzzle.)


Monda

Ari et al! Please... So Which Am I?

by Monda on

I finally really got into this! Late in everything, story of my life... really.

Am I misconstrued in this scenario? Anyone out there please advise!

A few mess ups in your lovely presentations or logics (Hah!) 

Divaneh jan, There's 3 of me? Ft or real? oh you mean like Me, Myself and My super ego/Irene (was it?)  Loved that! LOL

Thanks Ari jaan, you are an amazing entertainer my friend :o)

 

 


Dirty Angel

dangerous

by Dirty Angel on

Dirty Angel with a screwdriver. Very dangerous.

 

"Stuff happens and some, one way or another, get stuffed"


Ari Siletz

Some dream symbols

by Ari Siletz on

Here's my take after discussing it with the moobadaan: 1. Glass Ferrari: Class and purity of soul in the same person.

2. Vodka Sandis: A desire to expose hypocrisy. 

3. Fred fan: The dream presence of Freud--without the 'u.'    

4. Sargrod fan: super human patience.

5. Speed bus: Starting an enterprize never suspecting what a ride you're in for.

6. Abgoosht: down to earth.

7. Kaleh pache: no fear of facing the ugly side of the world.

8. Donbalan: feeling vulnerable.

9. Star Trek beam: Reaches goals through intuition.

10. Screwdriver: We'll let Dirty Angel handle this one.

11.Tunisia: oops, barging into Nazy's my dream!

 


Anahid Hojjati

Dear Nazy, It is too late

by Anahid Hojjati on

I have heard from a trusted source; yolanda who was there to cheer AO up, that all the time that you guys were drinking and eating, Anonymous observer was sitting with yolanda on a table across from you guys in disguise and taking notes on all you ate and drank. Please read AO's next several blogs on a detailed report of what you guys did that night which was not "mored taeedeshan".


humanbeing

persian lady cocktail

by humanbeing on

thanks for that recipe nazy! a cocktail a day keeps the doctor away. it even complies with the codes of a proper symposium, i.e. that the wine must be drunk diluted in water, not neat. here the ice makes it 'kosher' for the setting. another necessity of a symposium is that a leitmotiv of the discourse or the action at the symposium must be eros or something erotic. and ARIstophanes is present. yes. nice connection.

of course i'm waiting for the analogy to fall apart at some point. or i'll have to deconstruct it. need to get my jollies too. i suppose the bill-paying. (although in other aspects, sophistry is a form of intellectual ta'arof).

 


Dirty Angel

Nazy Kaviani

by Dirty Angel on

 

 

Pfffttt!

 

So you are the person to tell us who had a legover and should have paid the bill according to proper ethics! 

 

If anyone else had, of course, there'll have to be a qualitative scientific experimental justification.

 

 

;)

 

"Stuff happens and some, one way or another, get stuffed"


Nazy Kaviani

Majid is no "Sandis Khor!"

by Nazy Kaviani on

...and I'm no Ferrari girl! I did have several "Persian Ladies," (pomegranate juice + good vodka + ice, shaken to perfect smoothness), but because I didn't want to look like Firouzabadi in a tux, I refused dinner and nibbled on some olives...so O.K. maybe I did test the donbalan on Sargord's friend's plate, but just one piece (please don't tell Anonymous Observer). Throughout the night, I kept switching seats and asking people their opinions about the Tunisian movement, or that's how I remember it, but I can't remember anything about what everyone had to say about it. The last thing I remember is begging the person who had been beamed into the karevansara to take me with him or her (can't remember which)...


Dirty Angel

Duh!

by Dirty Angel on

The obvious "truths" were all in the tale (mentioned several times, and you've got to be at room temperature IQ levels not to have noticed, but then I don't have a themometer at hand),

but the tell-tell is in the Ferrari tail of a tale. Whoever was in need of the Ferrari, according to Sire(s) Ari and Sigmund, was the one with the enlargement replacement and cough cough, glass-shattering  voluntary intermittant, "permancy" or viagra and some vicious savages might call for.

But not to worry. Throwing cash around, preferably in framed, colourful notes and figures,  is supposed to be as sexy as any peacock feather. But for how long? 

As for the bill. Duh. The one who got his billokolang in place, you know, the one who got laid. It's the best ethical solution, because that person won't even remember the bill until things turn sour , most probably the next day. Duh!

 

"Stuff happens and some, one way or another, get stuffed"


Ari Siletz

MPD, you have the truth!

by Ari Siletz on

Well done solving this puzzle! Especially since now there are three people who agree Majid has to pay. Hope you had fun.

Multiple Personality Disorder

I haven't seen the comments about the answers,,,

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

Nazy came with the Farrari.

Majid orderd the Vodka Sandis so he paid the bill.


Red Wine

...

by Red Wine on

آری جان ما همین چند روز قبل در ایالات متحده عمری کار بودیم،البته شما در کالیفرنیا تشریف دارید که به کار ما فعلا نمی‌خورد اما در زمان خودش سری بدانجا خواهیم زد.

آری خان تعارف می‌کنید،این امر را خوب میشناسید اما گفته شما را مزاح تصور کرده و لبخندی می‌زنیم که جنابعالی بزرگ منش هستید.

ما از معدود اعضای این سایت وزین هستیم که از کشورهای مختلف بدینجا وارد میشویم،اوایل به خاطر عشق بود و حال دوستی‌ و فردا دیگر چه باشد تنها خدا داند و بس.

آنانیکه از چهل بیشتر دارند ،جزو آخرین نسلی هستند که ایران را به درستی‌ به یاد دارند اما خلق و خوی ایرانی بودن را زود از دست میدهند و کم بینی‌ کسی‌ را که به عنوان مثال مثل ما به پارسی نویسی اهمیت دهد و خود را تمام و کامل از فرهنگ ناب ایرانی بدانند.هستند افرادی که به نثر و شعر اهمیت دهند اما قضیه در همانجا توقف می‌کند و امان از گلایه‌ها و کم لطفی‌‌های مرد و زن ! تکرار مکررات و ضرر و زیان به این و به آن !

خلایق مطالب ساده میخواهند و بیشتر آن چیزی که به سطح آید و از روح برنینگیزد،این به وضوح مشخص است که بسیار از استفاده کنندگان این سایت به دنبال چه هستند.در بسیاری از مواقع شاهد این هستیم که مطالب و ویدیو‌های فرهنگی‌ و ادبی‌ چطور در آخر مانده اند و دریغ از یک توجه !

از رفتار و برخورد خلایق هم که دیگر چه بگویم که خود شاهدی بر این ماجرا و افسوس که دل‌ شکستن باب روزانه اشخاص و قوت افراد شده است.بسیار به مانند گانگستر‌ها عمل میکنند و دسته کشی‌ میکنند و گاهی‌ به ما ‌ای میل هم میزنند و پرسند:فلانی در بلاگ آن فلانی هیچ منویس !!

خداوند را هزار کرور شکر که هنوز چند نفری مانده اند که میشود به روی آنها حساب کرد...

سخت است این روزها هر کسی‌ را از خود دانی‌ و هر دلی‌ را هم راز !

موفق باشید.

 


Ari Siletz

G. R

by Ari Siletz on

Composing puzzles is a good way to work out frustrations. You may see an Israel puzzle soon. And expect them to get stuck with the bill.

Ari Siletz

Hearty LOL Princess!

by Ari Siletz on

Bemiram barat ke taarof khoob balad nisti.

 


G. Rahmanian

Ari Jaan:

by G. Rahmanian on

Your $300 offer reminds me of the vouchers you received on your fictional trip to Israel!


Princess

The Art of Taarof

by Princess on

Ari, I still have to master the art of taarof. I am hopeless at it. A couple of years ago I was speaking to an older lady from Iran on the speaker phone. During our conversation (as they sometimes do) she said, "Elaahi ghorbounet beram, azizam." So I said, thank you. My sister, who was sitting next to me, hit me over the head and whispered, "You idiot! Aadam migeh khodaa nakone!" :) I alway panic a little bit when I have to speak with people in Iran, as I can't quite keep up with their taarof.

Divaneh jaan, That's the price you pay when you show up in Ari's dream and order  "a strange new concoction called vodka sandis."

MPD jaan, you might want to try a pen and a piece of paper. I can assure you it will be much faster.


Ari Siletz

MPD

by Ari Siletz on

Since you will likely solve this puzzle in much less than two years, here's the largest commercially available jigsaw puzzle, to fill in the rest of the puzzle time you have scheduled. It is has 24000 pieces, taking several hundred hours to piece together if you're fast.  $300, bichooneh!

Ari Siletz

MM

by Ari Siletz on

The dream interpretation puzzle you posed--psychological vs. mystical--took some time to solve. I opt for the psychological interpretation as ironically it seems more mystical. When you say,"Consider whether there is an imbalance in your life that needs redressing," it makes me realize that every motivation is a result of an imbalance in need of redressing. No imbalance, nothing to do, nothing to want. So the advice" set limits upon your desires," is incompletely stated. It should say, set limits on your desires if satisfying them interferes with greater desires. Otherwise go for it.

On the other hand, maybe I like the psychological interpretation just because it talks about ravenous sexual appetites. 


Monda

What is going on here, dears?!!

by Monda on

Just noticed my name on Princess's comment, eating aabgossht!

I'm sorry I need to wait to read Ari's intriguing blog and all the witty comments in the morning (our time) 


Multiple Personality Disorder

In college I took Marix

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

I can't remember; I got an A or a B, but because of it I believe this is matrix problem with 5 rows and 5 columns, so it has 25 elements, some of them known, of course.  All I have to do is to buy a matrix book from Amazon.com, or maybe look up the lessons online, and then once I know what the heck it was that I studied decades ago, I'll set up the matrix and try to solve it for the unknowns, but meanwhile I have not read any of the comments that talk about solving the problem,  i.e. I have not read Princess's comment.

Or, maybe I'll use an Excel spreadsheet to see if I can solve it that may.  But either way, please check your blog for the next couple of years if you are interested to you whether I solved your puzzle or not.


Ari Siletz

Bavafa (also Rea)

by Ari Siletz on

The image is of the karvansara in Zanjan. Built during Shah Abbas dovvom. About 10 years ago it started serving breakfast, lunch and dinner again.

G. Rahmanian

Faramarz:

by G. Rahmanian on

I'm thrilled! Let's push for it to be IC anthem. The Italian cowboy boots were designed by Carlo Pignatelli the designer for an Italian soccer team. He designs men's clothes, as well. The asking price for the boots was crazy, but I eventually got a real good deal on them when the store which had them went bankrupt. I tell you, they are beautiful. The leather is carved like crocodile skin. And when people ask me if they are crocodile, I say, yes! I don't want to disappoint them.


Faramarz

Uncle G., Iranian.com's Anthem

by Faramarz on

This song is a gem and definitely qualifies for Iranian.com anthem!

You fooled me with your Italian boots, you are a real cowboy!

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Fulz4ytZ54&ob=av3e...


G. Rahmanian

Faramarz:

by G. Rahmanian on

Watch Toby Keith's video of the song "I love this bar," if you haven't, yet. You may like it.


Bavafa

I love the resturant you guys ate at

by Bavafa on

Once you remember the name of it (pix above) please let us know, I will make a point in going there.

Mehrdad


Ari Siletz

Divaneh what I do remember

by Ari Siletz on

The long ears and the triple Monda I can't vouch for, but JJ did eat Majid's koofteh Tabrizi after he finished his own Mirza Ghasemi. Poor Majid, did I tell you his Kaaleskeh backed into Nazy's glass Ferrari on the way out in the parking lot? The car broke into little pieces and Majids' insurance doesn't cover glass vehicles. When it rains, it pours.

divaneh

Ari the Riddler

by divaneh on

Ari jaan I have been working hard on this and I know that Princess have beaten me to it but still want to share my current findings with you to check and see if I am on the right path. So far:

- The person who ordered Koofteh Tabrizi ate Mirza Ghasemi.

- There were three Mondas who sat next to each other.

- The person who came with the Star Trek beam had long ears.

Just let me know.

Dear Princess:

That's what I call a logical mind. Your brain power however seems to have costed Majid a few bobs. More power to you.


Ari Siletz

Princess, taarof tradition

by Ari Siletz on

Excellent deduction!! The answers are all correct.

We all taarofed hard over the bill, but Firouzabadi was adamant that the vodka sandis customer had to pay.


Ari Siletz

شراب سرخ گرامی‌

Ari Siletz


حالا که با کمک پرینسس کمی‌ بیشتر خواب را بیاد می‌آورم، اتفاقا کلی‌ سر شام ذکر خیرت بود و همگی‌ میپرسیدند این گنجینه عرفان و ادب جامعه اینترنتی ما کی‌ به آمریکا سفر می‌کند و شاید بر بال سیمرغی خودرا برساند.