by Ari Siletz

Last year, narcissistic personality disorder, characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance and the obsessive need for attention, was eliminated from the manual of mental disorders. But a new chapter has been added to the manual on the subject of “Tritaphobia, ” or irrational fear of Trita Parsi.

I spoke briefly with Dr. Sadegh Bimanzoor, PsyD the discoverer of the new mental disorder.

Ari: Psychological disorders sometimes have roots in our childhood. Have Tritaphobics been neglected as children?

Dr. B: On the contrary, they have been pampered as children but ignored as adults. Most well adjusted adults find substitutes for parental love once they are out in the world. This is often in the form of encouragements we receive for kindly behavior, concern for the collective good, personal accomplishments, specific talents, or even pleasing appearance. Tritaphobes have difficulty weaning themselves of the unconditional love of their parents. As a result they fail to develop qualities that society finds worthy of notice. The Tritaphobe’s primary emotion is that of feeing ignored by those around him.

Ari: What is the reason Tritaphobics hang around play parks?

Dr. B: They frequent playgrounds to upgrade their childish ways and learn the latest in squabbling, bullying and name calling forms from the youngest generation.

Ari: That must make parents uneasy. How would they know that a Tritaphobic is just there for a refresher on infantile behavior?

Dr. B: Tritaphobics invariably exhibit pack behavior. If you see members of a gang patting each other on the back near the merry-go-round and referring to each other in endearing terms, there’s nothing to worry about, they're just Tritaphobics.

Ari: Is there a cure for Tritaphobia?

Dr. B: No. Previous attempts at a cure have made the disorder progress even faster in the patient.

Ari: What are the risks of Tritaphobia?

Dr. B: There are degrees of severity. A third-degree Tritaphobic would refuse to drink water if he finds out that Trita Parsi also drinks water. He would end up in the hospital. A second-degree Tritaphobic may sell his car and walk for the rest of his life if he/she saw Trita Parsi driving a car. Some second degree Tritaphobics walk around barefoot or naked. Others avoid haircuts or baths. Occasionally we see cases where the patient has to be put on dialysis. Fortunately the disorder does not often develop beyond its first-degree symptoms.

Ari: What are the first-degree symptoms?

Dr. B: Patients spend their waking hours indulging in self-aggrandizing fantasies. They give “great-leader” speeches in front of imaginary crowds. Occasionally they go on websites and write long manifestos. Also, for unknown reasons, first degree Tritaphobics are inclined to paleophilia.

Ari: Paleophilia?

Dr B: A Pathological attrachment to fossils.

Ari: Are there many Tritaphobics in the population?

Dr. B: No, it’s a rare disorder, but due to the self-aggrandizing displays and pack behavior the numbers appear larger.

What is an early warning sign of Tritaphobia onset.

Dr. B: Early detection is important. During the “Foam At The Mouth” test, the therapist mentions the word “NIAC,” while a device measures the amount of froth around the patient’s mouth. The FATM test is 99% accurate.

Ari: What about the remaining 1%?

Dr. B: Some people—Tritaphobic or not—foam at the mouth for no apparent reason. This accounts for the 1% failure rate of the test.

Ari: Is anyone who disagrees with Trita Parsi at risk for this disorder.

Dr. B: Not at all. We have found no correlation between disagreement with Trita Parsi and Tritaphobia. The strongest correlation, as I mentioned, is with overwhelming feelings of societal neglect or a deep sense of worthlessness. A person who simply disagrees with Trita Parsi is no more at risk of Tritaphobia than the rest of the population.

Ari: Thank you for your time, Dr. Bimanzoor.

Dr. B: Later, dude!

Note: “Tritaphobia” is a fictitious disorder, but Politicophobia, fear or abnormal dislike of politicians, is a recognized psychological disorder. This website offers help.


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Jahanshah Javid

Thanks Ari

by Jahanshah Javid on

As a member of the Parsi/IRI "cyber army" I thank you for your good humor. Here's a little note I posted on the topic:


Thanks VPK

by divaneh on

I think it is a good idea to agree to disagree as I call all of them politicians.

Veiled Prophet of Khorasan

Dear Divaneh

by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on


We must agree to disagree. I did get the point just do not agree. My whole point is they are not all politicians. The only one who is a politician is AN. Politician has a definition. Not anyone who runs a group is a politician. I repeat:

  • Parsi is a lobbyist who have never run for office.  
  • Rajavi is a terrorist. he tried politics long ago but was banned from running. Since then he has never ran for anything.

By the definition you are using then anyone who runs any organization is a politician. This is not a matter of good or bad. You may not dislike all of them and that is fine. But I want to be using the right term to describe people.


Dear VPK

by divaneh on

With respect you did not get the point. I was not comparing these politicians, I merely commented that you can extend that argument to any politician. Of course the politician has to be able of causing the FATM syndrome, and hence the choice of the other two.

Veiled Prophet of Khorasan

Not True Divaneh

by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on


There are vast differences between AN; Rajavi and Parsi.

  • AN: is an IRI approved politician. Like him or not the guy is a real politician. He is in a position of power albeit limited. Therefore directly responsible for actions of IRI. He is therefore very guilty of those actions and should be held to it.
  • Parsi: is a lobbyist not a politician. He is not elected even in a rigged way. He runs a lobby group he started. You may join or leave on your free will. No obligation. He has no executive power. He is not responsible for actions of IRI or anything beyond NIAC. Which by its nature has limited power next to none. Parsi has very little power hence very little influence.
  • Rajavi: is a leader of a traitor cult and also terrorist. By Iranian people definition. Not by American or EU definition. Delisting makes no difference since the crime is against Iranians. Members of MEK cult are not free to go. They are prisoners in Camp Ashraf. He is not a politician but a dictator over a tiny miserable rabble.


Good Caricature

by divaneh on

Thanks Ari for this excellent satire and the caricature that you have drawn of some who do not approve of Trita. The good thing is that you can change the name of Trita with any other politician such as Ahmadinejad or Rajavi without the blog losing its quality.

Your distinction at the end between those who have the phobia and those who oppose the policies of a politician is worthy of a good discussion. Whilst obsession with a certain politician is pointless, do we expect something good coming from Bolton or Larijanis?

With respect to Trita and NIAC, they need to show which of their policies will weaken the regime in order to gain respect and trust from a wider spectrum of the Iranians.

p.s. I add my vote for Faramarz presidency and short relationship policy for the good of mankind.



You were there for NIAC gathering? Or, part of peepel tanked!

by MM on

Good.  You were there for NIAC 2011 Leadership conference, and I am glad that you liked it.  For a minute, I thought you were going to say that you were in DC as part of the peepel that Maryam jan tanked so deerly.

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Thanks to NIAC; some of us had an early Thanksgiving in D.C.

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Dear Oon Yaroo: you missed it.

For $75 one could have three days of all-you-can-eat buffets (breakfast, lunch and dinner).

Plus you could learn how to lobby your representatives in the House ... for free.

Plus you could be personally blessed by Trita et al, with kisses and embraces!

Plus you could learn Leadership ... that is: how to Lead a Ship into the IRI harbour ... LOL.

Oon Yaroo

Shazdeh, 2011 American Thanksgiving in Washington DC will

by Oon Yaroo on

serve a modified dish this year, Skunks + Turkey = Strunkey!

It's Turkey in the center with a bunch of Skunks surrounding it!
Do you get the drift?


Much Obliged Oon Yaroo

by Faramarz on

I am ready for the post and the challenges that come with it. But first I need to find a realtor in Toronto and get my Canadian paper work in order!


The topic of the future cabinet of Iran was covered in great length last year by Masoud Kazemzadeh. Check it out and don't miss the comments.




SAM - where is the beef?

by MM on

Please tell Trita to send my desperately needed money.

I also suggest that you make your own gravy from scratch and not rely on others' mishmash to put on your Thanksgiving turkey, among other things.  Bon appetit.

Oon Yaroo

Faramarz for president, I second that!

by Oon Yaroo on

Now, that you have been nominated for President by majority vote, what cabinets would you have in your administration? And whom among the IC members would your nominate/assign to you cabinets leads? e.g., Health: Shazdeh, etc.







Intelligence (new SAVAK):



Foreign Affairs:

Oghaff (aka Masjed & Imamzadeh):



PS - Would TP play any role in your administration?




iraj khan

Telling it as it is..

by iraj khan on

Ari: "As a result they fail to develop qualities that society finds worthy of notice. The Tritaphobe’s primary emotion is that of feeing ignored by those around him."

Indeed they are ignored by the Iranian people inside and outside of Iran.

What nation on earth would want to listen to those who advocate 'Sanctions', 'bombardment' or 'Invasion' of their land?

Shazde Asdola Mirza

PS: Ari jan, I hope that you are not short changing yourself ;-)

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Hey the Gravy Train is flowing ... be careful not to be the left over ... Canadian Thanksgiving is this Monday ... Turkey meat is really dry without some good old gravy ... lol.


Shazde Asdola Mirza

Trita pays me half of Mohamad Mansouri ... and I'll love him too

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Is it true that Trita paid a certain MM (Mohammad Mansouri) of NIAC, tens of thousands of dollars out of some Congress funding?


If yes, then pay half that much to me, and I'll start to love him too ... lol.


maziar 58


by maziar 58 on

Faramarz for president

that's my vote



Farmarz Jaan: I have always enjoyed ...

by Bavafa on

our respectful exchange in this regards or otherwise and found you "jabs" has a good pinch of logic in them, so will look forward to any discussion as long as it stays the same form.

'Hambastegi' is the main key to victory 



Fanoos - do your boys reside in one body or two?

by MM on



Dear Fanoos

by Faramarz on

You are my kind of a Fanoos in a dark night!


Faramarz Khan - I once sought out two boys, one to have fun and

by fanoos on

one to marry. I succeed in both.




G. Rahmanian

Faramarz: Chasing The Same Girl Story!

by G. Rahmanian on

I needed the laugh.Thank you!


Trita is all yours Ari!

by Faramarz on



I did not realize how strongly you felt about Trita and NIAC.

To me, it all seemed like a good exercise in pointing out the problems and the inconsistencies in what he is doing and saying. But I guess that I was wrong. You and my other good friends here, Mehrdad and MM (let’s put Soosan Khanoom in there too, since she has a good sense of humor at times!) seem to be very passionate about Trita and NIAC.

This reminds me of the time that both me and a good friend of mine were chasing the same girl for completely different reasons. I was looking for quick fun; he was looking for a serious relationship. And once we realized what was going on, I just backed off and let him have it. She meant more to him than she could’ve ever meant to me.

So Trita is all yours. I will treat him with all the respect and the dignity that you and my good friends deserve.

But I do reserve the right for the occasional jabs, if you don’t mind! You would expect that from me, I am sure!


well done.....

by Roozbeh_Gilani on

 For having your blog featured without making a single explicit reference to human genitalia in Parsi language...

"Personal business must yield to collective interest."


Yes, criticise constructively, but also support

by Mammad on

when what NIAC and Trita do are supportable. I personally do not have brotherhood pact with anyone.

I could not agree more with Anahid khaanoum and VPK - our difference on some other issues aside. In my view, Bahmani has also made several excellent points.

That is the way it should be. My own personal motto has always been [and I have said this in the past here at IC several times]:

Support what can be supported;

Reject what must be rejected, and

Criticise constructively what needs criticism.



Anahid Hojjati

dear VPK, just like you, I agree with some of NIAC

by Anahid Hojjati on

positions and work they have done, but I think they should be harder on IRI.

Veiled Prophet of Khorasan

Dear Anahid

by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on


If NIAC is wrong let people discuss it with reason not with hate. You mentioned before it is possible to ageee with some things and diagree with others. For example I do not approve of:

  • Their fixation on Israel.
  • A number of their board and other high level members.
  • Some other policies like going too easy on IRR

I do agree with:

  • Preservation of our national heritage.
  • Student visa reforming.
  • Opposition to MEK. 

There are parts I do not understad:

  •  How could NIAC influence IRR if it does not have any contact. The critics want both which is impossible.
  • How is NIAC able to stop IRR terrorism? They have no agents; no army; no enforcement power. How should they do this?
  • Why don't those opposing NIAC form another group. Many of them live in Tehrangeles; are  rich what is stopping them.

Mohammad Ala

Where did you get Trita's childhood picture?

by Mohammad Ala on

Ari jan; where did you get Trita's childhood picture?

Thanks for your creative blog.


Veiled Prophet of Khorasan

I like it!

by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on


I have said before all you got to do is say NIAC for some people to go into shock. Now I did foam at the mouth once in college after being fed 1/2 bottle of Scotch at my frat. I was young and did not know better. That is the 1% Ari talks about.

But of course Trita was not around then and it was before the revolution. So I guess I am excused now. But seriously there were people who regarded me very highly. Then I wrote a blog asking we work with NIAC to help unite Iranians. The "gang" becamse my permanent enemies. They call me "Chadori"; "IRI agent" and anything else they may think up. They flag posts for no reason; make really rude "jokes". Then get their "buddies" to laugh at it.

These are typical actions of school yard kids which are no longer acceptable in USA. No doube Ari has a right to put this up. In fact it is those NIAC haters in glass houses who asked for it. The funny thing is it does not matter where you stand. People from practicing Muslims like Mammad to very secolar like are attacked. Why: because we dared say NIAC without following with some "fohsh". Or God forbid something good.


Anahid Hojjati

Humor in this article is good but when Trita is wrong

by Anahid Hojjati on

People should be critical of it. Another point that will help is not to relate any argument to NIAC and/or MEK. Neither is important enough in Iran's politics to relate each and every argument to them. When someone argues a case, if they have not brought NIAC or MEK up, there is no reason to side with them or not side with them based on what NIAC or MEK says. That argument or article should be discussed independently. Also everytime Trita writes an article, going back to previous questions will not help. That article should be discussed based on its merits.

Multiple Personality Disorder

Politics aside, this blog is a good piece of writing

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

I like the humor in it, but I can clearly see how some people are going to be offended by it.