بلوزِ طغیانگرِ زردِ من

بلوزِ طغیانگرِ زردِ من
by Anahid Hojjati
23-Feb-2012
 


بلوزِ طغیانگرِ زردِ من
دوست دارمت
اما بی آستینی ات
آن نگاههای غریبگان
می کند ناخوشم
زیرِ کتِ سیاه
 ولی دختر
زیبا و زنده ای
, زرد زردي ام
نورِ چشمم , عزیزِ دلم

گاه در مهمانی می پوشمت
گاه می کنم
 ترا خانگی مانند پلو پتو
فرصتی پیش آیدم
تو و طغیان تو می کنم
می کنم
می کنم
نمایشی
 مثل دونده ای سریع ,

آن روزِ آخرم ,
شاید ترا دعا دهم
سپس سپارمت
همراهِ زردِ شورشت
به یک خانه دگر
 بلوزِ طغیانگرِ م
همسرم ,
 مادرم ,
 خواهرم,
دختر خوبِ و نازِ من .

 

آناهید حجتی
 


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Souri

dear JD

by Souri on

(Sorry dear Anahid, this is not related to your poem which was very nice indeed)

dear JD: I think that part of your comment was about my last objection to a femal poet. Indeed, I might have been too harsh in that comment.

The fact is, that objection, has been built since some older poems posted hereby the same poet. There were many things which I wanted to (should) say , since a while about that line of poetry. I didn't.

I regret that my comment in her last poem, came too late and too short and it didn't contain the main objection which I was feeling to her poems, posted here.

My apologies to you and the other readers. Next time, I will take my time to write a better comment.

Or, I will withdraw , at all.


Anahid Hojjati

Dear JD,

by Anahid Hojjati on

Thanks for your comment. Bringing up Kabuki theatre was interesting for me, since I am starting to become interested in interplay of poetry and other art forms. lI would like to exolore that more.

As far as second part of your comment, I believe criticism of a poet or writer's work belongs to IC and one reason a person would publish their work here would be to get the feedback. However, if someone comments who has never made a poetry related presence on IC, it is more useful for the poet and other readers of the thread, if the commentator could establish in their comment why the poet should listen to them.

 I don't mean that by actual words which say the exact sentence but by making an informed comment such as ideas for improvement, where did it go wrong or basically something which would make the poet and/or readers realize that the commentator does not have a personal agenda and also if he/she is actually knowledgeable about poetry. Even if a commentator is not into poetry, he could make an informed comment by stating how the poem did or did not match their personal life experiences.

 


Jeesh Daram

Kabuki Theatre

by Jeesh Daram on

 

An attractive poem. This style and the voice within reminds me of the Japanese ancient theatre called Kabuki, where in the most modern version of it, men dress as women and narrate the lines, but the audience feels the presence of women, because of the make-up and the attire. You are creative Anahid.

---------------------------------------------Aside from that, I think it's extremely rude to put down someone's work, be it here, in a symphony hall or at school or wherever. The only reason Jesus cautioned us, that we should not judge, is for this very reason. If one has a personal vendetta on another person, perhaps he, should just send an email and get it over with, rather than sit alert for an opportunity to insult, or even a single word that can hurt the author. Disagreement with the thoughts is fine, but to be condescending is just not fair. The person had an emotional motivation and writes something, read it, and leave quietly, no reason to become an officiated critic. We all do it unfortunately. That is why Iranian.com should install a Like/Dislike button to reduce the pain.

The above was not meant or intended to address anyone in particular, because I have seen this brutality four times in the past 24 hours in other blogs.  

Thanks

 


Anahid Hojjati

To Amirkabear,

by Anahid Hojjati on

it is better not to be sexist or at least not be proud of that. 


amirkabear4u

Dear Anahid

by amirkabear4u on

Don't get upset.

I only understand poems about wine and women. That is all. I am not ashamed of myself because I am a sexist male. Why shouldn't I be.

Have a good weekend!!!!!!!!!!!


Anahid Hojjati

Dear Vildemose,

by Anahid Hojjati on

Thanks for your comment. As far as some male readers not understanding this poem, I believe it is confusing for many readers including some women too. In this poem, I am writing from perspective of men (albeit how I see it) so this can be confusing. Even I am mostly used to reading poems and assuming the voice of poem belongs to the poet but in some cases; including this one, this is not the case. Yesterday, there were some related comments about this fact on comment thread of poem by Niloofar Shidmehr.


vildemose

Beautifully crafted title!

by vildemose on

Avantgarde and sensual as well

The irony is because this poem is too close to men's perspectiv I am certain many miopic male readers will not understand it.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.--Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.


Anahid Hojjati

To AmirKabear

by Anahid Hojjati on

Since you stated such strong opinion about my poem, I am interested to know why i should value your opinion. I don't seem to remember you have blogged about poetry on this site or have even commented much regarding poetry. Why when you have shown no interest in poetry all this time, you would think that I should value your comment. My point is not your criticism but the fact that what makes you such an authority in poetry? If you explain it, then I can see where you come from, otherwise, your comment is close to worthless.


Anahid Hojjati

Shirin jan

by Anahid Hojjati on

thanks for commenting. but you being a piano player, somehow you must have a few blouses like that which you wear when you play songs which are more edgy.


ahang1001

آناهید عزیز

ahang1001


خیلی زیبا بود...خیلی

نمیدونم چرا یاد بلوز های خودم افتادم...همشون طغیانگر نیستند

خیلی از شعرت خوشم اومد

شیرین

 


Anahid Hojjati

.

by Anahid Hojjati on

dear amirkabeer, thanks for finding time in your busy life of being a prime minister to read poetry of your sujects.


amirkabear4u

Dear Anahid

by amirkabear4u on

good effort BUT do not give up your day job for writing poems.

 


Anahid Hojjati

man-woman relations

by Anahid Hojjati on

this poem is about man-woman relations in Iran. It did not start that way. At first it was really about a yellow favorite comfortable blouse that I have. As I made changes in it, I realized that this yellow blouse can be a methaphor for women of Iran. The poem is really written from the perspective of Iranian men.

 At the end, which is close to present time hopefully, Iranian men  have to realize that they need to let go and accept that women

همسرم ,
 مادرم ,
 خواهرم,
دختر خوبِ و نازِ من .

will be in a different house, a better house. No positive change in Iran will be possible until men realize that the new society will not give them as much preference but that is OK.