Wife of an Iranian Gladiator

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alimostofi
by alimostofi
22-Mar-2012
 

I just heard my mum is in hospital. I feel helpless because I hate hospitals. The thought of nurses doctors and that whole medical world makes me shiver. I am ok with the spiritual and the intangeable, but the real and tangeable painful world of hospitals makes me faint. I don't mind the new born section in a hospital. I feel life there. Anywhere else I feel the decay and pain and I start of feel the same. Usually I faint. I break down.

But the feeling that your mother is perhaps going to the other side is not new. My dad was sick of his body and when he told me good-bye, I said I will be in touch. He did not know until he passed to the immaterial world.

As children we were brought up distantly. I always heard him and mum at the end of a phone line. Now I feel his spirit. In his final hours he was fed up of his body, almost as if it was an old car. He needed a new suit. This one had done its duty. He had built the oil industry of Iran with it, and my mum by his side.

They say that behind a great man there is an even greater woman. Assefeh Bader Mostofi was just that then. She, like many of the leaders of Iran's wives, took care of the cultural entourage. Our house was one of the first gateways to a modern Iranian household. Our ancient home had become the new King's Palace and was called Saadabad Palace.

Mum decided to design and built a new house at number 72 Saadabad Road next to the palace. It was the talk of the town; with lovely pillars that went into the swimming pool; beautiful engravings; stained glass windows reflecting the sunshine through a staircase, that mimicked the Shah Abbas Hotel in Isfahan.

Assefeh Bader Mostofi loved art. She painted and studied art at University of Geneva once the Second World War had ended. Dad met her in early fifties when she was in her late twenties, and soon after she had her first son Abdullah or Abdi as we call my older brother. In almost clockwork precision every three years and nine months I was born in January 1957 followed by my sister.

Being a wife of a Petroleum Geologist is not easy. He was an Aries with a Uranus conjunct Venus conjunct Ascendant born on a Full Moon is 1918. He was a raging bull charging head on at anything. He won all the awards and managed to find the world's largest oil well. She had Venus in Aquarius and loved him for it. Match made in the heavens.

She kept the world sane - somehow as he would leave his blazing trail behind - wherever he went, whatever he did. She was polished, descended from a Royal pedigree that was second to none in the world.  Her family tree is as old as ancient Iran and is in the British Museum. She was the innocent Princess watching over her Gladiator marching into war everyday.

For many years after 1979 she took care of this raging Bull and helped him settle down to the quiet life of retirement. It was tough on her. On my return from Princeton University she said that she was losing her will to live. He and the events in Iran were a serious drain. I said to her "mum what did you do when you were on your own?" she said, "I painted". We were in our flat in Mallocra and we rushed down to Palma and we bought her a fantastic oil painting set. She had found a new life - ironically it was her old life.

She would paint beautiful roses and waves. The waves (ah its hard writting this when you are crying, yes we men do have feelings, especially we Full Moon Capricorns), would show ancient battleships at war. The roses were her family all bunched up next to each other. We never were together but the roses showed the world as she wanted it to be. This is how she coped. Two worlds were in her all the time. She also painted the familiar fruits on the table scene.

And these three themes she repeated, over and over again. People loved them. Even my dad began to like them. He was not an artist, but had the most amazing handwritting and diction in English, French and Persian. He was a master calligrapher, and gave thousands of speeches to Kings, Prime Ministers and Boards of Directors, without any notes. But for some unknown reason, in exile he could not express himself, but she could. She was stronger than him.

She held the rudder, steered us through the troublesome waves, and cheered us with her paintings of roses. This calm simple Persian Princess, may not have been the typical all knowledeable swarve intellectual like the others in the family, but had her foot firmly in the ground then, where and when it counted most.

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alimostofi

Thank you all. I was

by alimostofi on

Thank you all. I was inspired to write this:

http://iranian.com/main/blog/alimostofi/astrol...

@alimostofi
FB: astrologer.alimostofi


مآمور

condolences

by مآمور on

mothers are the most important people of the world.

God bless

I wear an Omega watch


Soosan Khanoom

Please accept my heartfelt sympathy.

by Soosan Khanoom on

May the love of those around you help you through this difficult time. 


Mehrban

Mr. Mostofi

by Mehrban on

 My deepest condolences on your Mum's passing.  Your blog is a beautiful tribute to her. 

Please try not to stay alone, it is very important to be with friends or relatives at least for the first few days. 


Oon Yaroo

Mr. Mostofi

by Oon Yaroo on

So sorry to hear the sad news and may god rest her soul!


MM

Please accept my condolenscences.

by MM on

.


Darius Kadivar

My deepest Sympathies Ali Jan ...

by Darius Kadivar on

In tribute to your Mom and may you overcome your grief ...

 

RIP ... 


Mohammad Ala

تسلیت

Mohammad Ala


امیدوارم با خاطرهای خوب مادر روزگار را بسر ببری.   محمدعلاء

 


Red Wine

...

by Red Wine on

بازگشت  همه به سوی اوست.

جنابِ مستوفی تسلیتِ ما را بپذیرید و ما را در این غم شریک بدانید.


anglophile

I am so sorry Ali

by anglophile on

Our differences aside, I offer you my profound sympathies. Time is a healer.   Anglo 

Kaveh Nouraee

My deepest condolences

by Kaveh Nouraee on

.


alimostofi

She finally passed away just

by alimostofi on

She finally passed away just now.

@alimostofi
FB: astrologer.alimostofi


alimostofi

Y: thanks for your

by alimostofi on

Y: thanks for your blessings.

Ali Mostofi

http://twitter.com/alimostofi

 


Yana

Mr. Mostofi...

by Yana on

I never tell a person “I know how you feel”, because that would be an insult to their

feeling but I can tell you that you will survive!  When my mother was in the hospital and I stayed with her

for a whole week, my depression got worse because it was and still is very difficult to see her old, fragile, and in pain!  It broke my heart. I stayed with her day and night and only slept maybe an hour or so each night and when I couldn’t hold back the tears I would go to the bathroom and let the river of sorrow run down my eyes but it never washed away the pain inside!  I tried to make her laugh and humor things and when I would wash and clean her to make her feel at ease and not embaressed, I would make up gossip about cousins and stuff to distract her and it worked all the time, old people like to know about the world, it assures them that they are still part of it! I pray for you and your mom, God bless you both.

shad zee

 


alimostofi

B: thanks in prayer. Ali

by alimostofi on

B: thanks in prayer.

Ali Mostofi

http://twitter.com/alimostofi

 


Bavafa

With the best wishes for a quick recovery.

by Bavafa on

 

'Hambastegi' is the main key to victory 

Mehrdad


alimostofi

MA: all I can say is that

by alimostofi on

MA: all I can say is that sharing it lessens the tension. That does not need belief. Thanks for being there.

Ali Mostofi

http://twitter.com/alimostofi

 


Mohammad Ala

Best wishes.

by Mohammad Ala on

As a non-believer, all I can is: best wishes and patience.


alimostofi

M: sure we are all going

by alimostofi on

M: sure we are all going together.

Ali Mostofi

http://twitter.com/alimostofi

 


MM

make sure u do & spend as much time w/ her as u can

by MM on

I wish I could do the same w/ my mom.


alimostofi

M: I can visit her at

by alimostofi on

M: I can visit her at Kensington and Chelsea hospital tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Ali Mostofi

http://twitter.com/alimostofi

 


MM

I wish her well

by MM on

I know how you feel since I could not visit my dad in ICU to say goodby, or even now that my mom is in the hospital. 

Damn this world. Screw all governments.  Where is John Lennon singing "Imagine"?

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace

You, you may say
I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one


alimostofi

A: as of an hour ago she has

by alimostofi on

A: as of an hour ago she has 50% chance. Her whole body has packed up. Iran she will never see. She will be freer now. Thanks for your sentiments and support. A lot of women in Iran have had a rough life.

Ali Mostofi

http://twitter.com/alimostofi

 


amirparvizforsecularmonarchy

Thanks Ali, I wish your mother gets well soon.

by amirparvizforsecularmonarchy on

And that this is not a time for separation.  I wish she gets to see Iran again before she passes on and has the opportunity to enjoy her homeland with you by her side one more time.  The sooner the IRI is brought down by Iranians in Iran, the sooner the consciences of many people can return to peace.  Reading your blog it seems like your mother is the peaceful warrior having endured the unjust/dishonest humiliation of those she loved, in addition to herself.  I don't know what to say about that, except I'm not okay with it and I stand with her and all Iranians who have been the recipients of unimaginable crimes at the hands of the USA/UK/France.