Stop it…

Surely, nothing is easier than sitting in the basement of your parents’ house in North America and telling Gazans and Israelis “Lengesh Kon.”


Stop it…
by Siamack Baniameri

I was reading the other day that to protest the massacres of Palestinians in Gaza, a popular political blog community has asked its members to stop blogging and go on a symbolic strike for one day. The idea was to call attention to atrocities committed by Israel by denying readers access to blogs for 24 hours. 

Shit, I’m all for that. As a matter of fact, I’ll pay all the bloggers around the world to take a week off and let the fucking internet breath.  Do you bloggers ever take vacations? For god’s sake, stop polluting the internet with your self-serving, virtual hallucinations? Don’t you guys have jobs? How come your laptops don’t get infected with virus?

There used to be a time when you fought your enemies in trenches with a hole in your belly and a gun in your hand. That’s what Hamas and IDF were doing. But the most entertaining part of this conflict is the blogger community, on the sideline, who actually believes that it has a part in this debacle. Surely, nothing is easier than sitting in the basement of your parents’ house in North America and telling Gazans and Israelis “Lengesh Kon.”

I was reading this blogger dude in Texas who was inviting the Palestinians in the West Bank to rise and pick up arms. He then posted pictures of his vacation to Caribbean. Fuck you. Why don’t you putdown your keyboard, travel to Gaza, put on a diaper and shoot the enemy. I was watching an online debate between an Israeli female and an Arab male blogger about the recent conflict. The debate quickly turned into a shouting match; I could feel the sexual tension and I was thinking: forget blogging, marry each other and start a family.

I know it makes you feel better about yourself when you think you’re somehow a part of a struggle. You think you’re educating the ignorant … informing the uninformed … changing minds. You are not. Nobody reads your blogs except for your mother and the neighborhood pedophile who is watching you from across the street.

The problem is that both sides (Hamas and IDF) are assholes and innocent bystanders on both sides always get the shaft. It’s hard to take sides.  But it’s always easier to ask other people to do the dirty work for you. Heck, I’ve been asking Iranians to overthrow the Islamic Republic for years from a Starbucks on 3rd Avenue, while sipping organic Colombian Narino Supremo and surfing the net.

Leave internet alone. Internet was invented for us to meet crazy people online. Internet was not intended to be a battleground for those who experience frequent emotional leakage. Your stupid blogs are slowing down access to my favorite porn sites. Stop it.


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I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek

Save your money, Sia, big spending mantard

by I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek on

"I'll pay all the bloggers around the world to take a week off and let the fucking internet breathe"

These bloggers are fueling new commerce. Clicks and links = money. What do you think talk radio was all this time? REAL? NO. The angrier and more over the top, the better. JUST ASK JJ.

Save your money and give it to Israel. Maybe if they kill all those dumb Arab thorns in their side, these wars will be over ONCE AND FOR ALL!




by Lluís (not verified) on

What Hamas, IDF and the blogger community (including myself) need is sex! No, really! This would be the best solution for the crisis. Let's take a look at some friend of mine:
He is the classical beer belly, political-conscious, stinking-feet internet addict. He's been posting angry entries about the conflict (and so I am), but the amount of sperm he is accumulating inside his prostate does not allow him to think the narrow way.
Sincerely I agree with you, Mack. It's time to switch off the router and begin to evacuate. Porn sites might be helpful to achieve this.



Selective cyberwarriors

by No wonder (not verified) on

The problem with all these cyber crusaders is that they are quite selective when it comes to focusing on victims and victimized people.

They completely ignore and go silent over hundreds of thousands of muslim human beings being killed in Darfur or Chechniya, let alone hundreds of thousands of their own fellow muslim countrymen and women being hanged, mutilated, executed and shot to deat, day in day out, for the last 30 years in their country of origin, Iran, since bringing attention to those victims would not serve their agendas,


"its hard to take sides"

by Damon Jaan (not verified) on

Yes lets demonize, bs, and create another reason not to read your long and usually funny insite on the matter. Daadaash I dont know how to explain it, I quit trying to, it f'kd up. Peace nemikhaan. I'm happy you can still find humor in this because were so far away that we should be able to point out the kosseh sheyr in all of this, Im sure it would be more difficult if we were there, but Im actually thankful dude that your able to laugh at our nonesense God bless free speech (ahem). You got a right to say what you like, if you dont advocate to kill me, ill stand up for it day and nite. Peace


More Cynical than Comical

by capt_ayhab on

Sure everyone needs to take a break from carnage and the bloodshed. Sure we all want to write, do or say things that make people smile rather than cry. Sure people  gather around the guy who tells the best jokes, rather than a person who talks about pain and the suffering in the word[party poppers they call them]. 

But for how long one SHOULD pacify self by [comedy channel] and [Girls Next Door], and not to CARE about all the ill that is committed by our species, and pretending everything is hunky dori?

How long one shall let callus of ignorance and indifference to be built around self's heart and soul?

What are WE, as human race, WHY are WE here for?

To build a cocoon of ignorance and indifference around ourselves? Go about our 8-5 for measly handout from our EMPLOYERS so we can reproduce likes of ourselves? House, wife/husband, 30 year mortgage, a dog, couple of Japanese cars[financed], one or two [tooleh's] with the good probability of one of them getting pregnant by the age of 14, and in debt up to-the-wazoo to chase's Merrielle-Lynche??? Not to mention Visa joon and MasterCard khan.

Or we are placed in this earth for a purpose? Better yet,,,, WHAT PURPOSE do we have in life???????

Sure this round of KILLINGS has quieted down[so they say] but what about the next one, and the next one, and the next one....................??

capt_ayhab [-YT]

p/s Enjoyed your piece nonetheless, although I find it more cynical than comical.


Need attention?!

by Ajam (not verified) on

Well, I'm not sure if this goes through anyway. But this by far is the lamest attention-seeking attempt I have seen here in a long while. Believe me, I have seen a lot of lame crap lately.

I don't find this funny, because it's a collection of stale stand up routine, unfunny jokes such as "sitting in your parents basements" and "sexual tension" or "don't you have a job?" that has already been beaten to death by comedy club stand uppers.

I believe there are many witty participants here who deserve something funny and with substance rather than flat, pointless build up to an even flatter punch-line!


isn't it the truth

by Anonymous tuesday (not verified) on

ok people, let's get back to work. playtime is over.

but i gotta ask. how is this article published on the front page with the word FUCK, not once but several times.

jj and moderators. we'd would love to hear your explanation.

Free Spirit


by Free Spirit on



Luv ya!

by defender of starbucks and coke (not verified) on

The best blog written in the last three-four weeks...
Luv ya Siamak!
A defender of Starbucks and Coke
PS:You can touch my Dad, my Mom, my sista...BUT NEVER MY TALL COFFEE! NEVER MY DIET COKE!


Starbucks is on the boycott list, I just wanted you to know

by Mohseni (not verified) on

Do not compare Zionists' defenders with the supporters of Palestinians. If you don't know the difference I suggest you put your coffee down and pick up a book, for example the study done by two respected researchers from University of Chicago called: Israel Lobby and U.S. Foreign Policy. It could help you to understand the depth of the sh.. we are in as U.S. tax payers: //

2. And if you feel guilty for doing nothing in this regard you can stop drinking Starbucks coffee and Coke among other things. //


very well said..

by Parthian on

Especially to those delusional Iranians who think they are here on this planet to claim they are the most honorable humanitarians by using the words "care, poor, oppressed...". Meanwhile their own countrymen are being executed on a daily basis.

Most of them don't even take their own trash out....


funny piece!

by dancing bee (not verified) on

I loved it!


Dude what happened with

by jakarta (not verified) on

Dude what happened with seema the hooker?


freak'n brillian! bloggers,

by Anonymously on

freak'n brillian! bloggers, god save their soul, have indeed become a clique of self-righteous blobiness, all from the protective safety of their dens.


from Qom

by :-) (not verified) on

sneaky mullahs now using internet from Qom mosque trenches snapping out naive and hypnotized Iranian in diaspora to also spew out their long lasting embedded anti Jews and anti Israel hateful garbage!!!!!!!



by IRANdokht on

Thanks Siamack that was great and much needed too. IRANdokht


Who the hell died and made you the owner of Interenet?

by Beh_Tow_Che? (not verified) on

Don't read what you don't like. Dah.