The Knock of Love

A gathering of Cardinal elements ruling my being and actions


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The Knock of Love
by Cameron A. Batmanghlich
21-Apr-2008
 

In a late afternoon, at a spacious hotel room with a large balcony facing the high rising waves of ‘Coogee Beach’, making surfers looking like driftwood, in Sydney, I heard a knock on my door.  Immediately, a smile broke upon my face as I was getting to the door, just to confirm that no one was out there.

You see…for a few moments prior to that knock, my ‘Heart’ and my ‘Mind’, accompanied by my ‘Intuition’ had gotten together on an intimate chat (that soon would become almost a public chat forum among all the elements of my Being), discussing the arrival of my beloved ---- they were chatting on the corner of my being and I was watching them discussing her…the look in her eyes, the intentions of her thoughts, the warmth of her touch and the love in her smile.

Concerned and curious, my ‘Heart’ was asking and consulting my ‘Mind’ the possibility of someone existing to match the fine carvings of his perfectly.  My ‘Mind’ was ambivalent and undecided; although a bit positively biased in his tone of voice – perhaps it was a sort of wishful thinking on his behalf.  Still he could not give a straight answer to my ‘Heart’.  After all, both him and my ‘Heart’ had been fooled before … even been used as a tool by my ‘Personalized Antichrist’ to bring me down.

And me…I was just quite…watching, observing, listening and trying to read between the lines in that conversation…trying to figure out an answer myself.   

My ‘Hope’ was standing right by my side, refusing to leave, despite me constantly pushing him away, almost in a self-destructive way (a self-defense mechanism of course that had kicked in automatically after the last total failure).   

I simply wasn’t willingly going to go through the same thing that I had gone through with Beatrice …at least I had to put up a fuss…an objection ... maybe to be able to say to my ‘Hope’, ‘I told you so’ later, if things went wrong again!   

Is it being a coward?  Sure it is.  Does it become me?  No!  Because a ‘Predator’ doesn’t act this way … but then again … who knows the real strategy of a ‘Predator’ surrounded by powerful foes, such as the ‘Personalized Antichrist’ who has defeated him before?

Not the ‘Predator’ for sure.  He wouldn’t and shouldn’t know.  Available knowledge in such battles is extremely dangerous as they can easily be retrieved by one’s adversary in a state of mediation which so often a ‘Predator’ indulges himself in.

.

That’s why any battle plan, strategy and tactic, needs to remain hidden and retrieved only on a need-to-know basis.  That is also the reason that the path of many ‘Predators’ are unclear and is, more often than not, perceived by others as a state of disorientation.

While the discussion was going on, my Hope stopped drippling with me and quietly left my side to join in the conversation, sitting next to my ‘Intuition’ at the table facing my ‘Heart’ and my ‘Mind’.

My ‘Spirit’ lying in the corner dozing off, was trying to suck in and muster up as much energy as possible’ to recover his lost strength after my last mission here on earth…FUSION.

He didn’t want to be bothered. At the end of the day, speculations were not any of his concern…and for now the discussion - despite my ‘Intuition’s’ and ‘Hope’s’ strong conviction - was nothing but a speculation.  Not until a real and concrete coincidence, event, happening or at least a sign occurred, would my ‘Spirit’ bother to react.
 
 

Around the table in the corner of my being
 

My Heart to my Mind:

“You think it’s possible?”

My Mind answering:

“What?”

My Heart to my Mind:

“You know… I mean all the vibrations that’s been around us for the past few weeks … the very fact that we all have embarked on this journey without even having a destination to look for her…I mean…do you think she exists at all?  Or is this quest another hunt for the holy Graal?”… another one of his tricks?”

My Mind to my Heart:

“Whom him?”

My Heart to my Mind:

“Prince Vlad of Sagai!   Who the hell do you think I’m talking about?…our ‘Personalized Antichrist’ of course!!!”

My Mind to my Heart:

“Look here man…what the hell do I know…how many times haven’t we all thought that yea, this is it just to find out that we’ve been royally stuffed???  But the fact remains that the vibrations were so strong that we had to leave…you know what I mean?  I mean the whole freaking Universe was giving us signs…hell, it was pushing us!!!  And now we are here, still no wiser than four months ago!”

My Heart agreeing:

“Exactly my point!”

My Mind to my Heart:

“Yea, but who knows…I don’t get a map of where to go, nor am I given a time table as to when to be on high alert…do you?”

My Heart to my Mind:

“Kidding me?...When the hell did I ever got such info.   You think if I had access to such knowledge, I would have been jumping up and down like a freaking Yo-Yo as I did in the past?”

My Mind to my Heart:

“Yea I know…But you don’t do that anymore”

My Heart to my Mind:

“THANK GOD!!!”

My Mind to my Heart:

“Still…gotta tell you…it’s not for nothing that we are living like Gypsies and behaving like a scavenger … come on…you gotta have some faith”

My Heart to my Mind:

“What you mean?”

My Mind to my Heart:

“Well…I just told you…there’s got to be a reason why we are here…I mean why would the Universe remove us from all that magical atmosphere and love at FUSION just to send us on a wild goose chase???”

My Heart to my Mind:

“Why not? its happened before!”

My Mind to my Heart:

“Don’t be a moron!  It hasn’t!  Whatever blows you have received in the past was all part of the plan.  And by the way, you were not the only one suffering…just think of what our poor Spirit went through only last time…he almost vanished!  So stop that feeling of self-pity…it doesn’t become you…not after that night in the desert being initiated in to the kin of Falcons!”      

My Heart to my Mind:

“I am NOT feeling self-pity!!!  And for your information, I am very well aware of what everyone else has gone through…thank you very much.  Maybe you have forgotten…but it was me who had to bring your sorry ass out of that abyss 3 years ago, slapping the living daylights out of you and out of your numbness back into life!  Remember?  You were gone for six months!

All I am trying to say is that there are no guarantees.  I am just a bit nervous…you know…afraid…may I feel that way for a moment or two please … your highness?”
 

Suddenly my Intuition interjects

My Intuition to my Heart:

“NO…YOU MAY NOT!!!”

(Both my Heart and my Mind looked at my Intuition with amazement.  My Intuition, as an advisor, had never been so assertive and taken such a tone of voice.)

“Your hesitation discredits my ability, my whole essence, and the very reason of my being … all my past achievements!”

My Mind to my Intuition:

“Hey relax!”

My Intuition to my Mind:

“NO…and no…I will not relax … gotta tell this guy (referring to my ‘Heart’) how many times he has doubted me and then in the end had to come and admit that I was right.  Granted, I have made some mistakes, but then again…who the hell hasn’t made any??? Ha? … you tell me!  At the end of the day, I have always put my money where my mouth is and have delivered what I promised!”

My Mind to my Intuition:

“Come on…he is just a bit jumpy…”

My Mind to my Intuition:

“Stop siding with him! ...You always do that.  If anyone, it’s always been you who was cheated and mind-fucked, getting us into trouble with your persuasive power …which by the way, should have been taken away from you ages ago!  He (pointing at my ‘Heart’) has no right to hesitate…we are all in this mainly because of him!”  
 

Now my Spirit spoke up
 

My Spirit:

“Hey…keep it down…will you?  And by the way, for your enlightenment Mr. ‘Intuition’, it is not only for him (referring to my ‘Heart’)…it is for all of us…if you would kindly remind yourself!”

My Mind to my Spirit:

“You think I don’t know that?  But if he fails, we all are gonna see the bird flipped right on our faces”
 

My Spirit clicks his tongue in annoyance
 
 

My Hope:

“Excuse me gentlemen…I think we all need to calm down.  Who do you think is benefiting from all this arguing?”

My Heart to my Hope:

“Hey…you are the last one to speak of the rational and logic!!!”

My Mind:

“That’s my job”!!!

My Hope to my Heart:

“Don’t be a smart Alec”.

Everyone laughs

My Heart:

“Look…I am not trying to discredit anyone’s worth or their contribution…all I am saying is that based upon past experiences, we…or at least me…am not sure where this venture of actually locating her is going.  

My Intuition to my Heart:

“That’s because you don’t see the signs!”

My Heart to my Intuition:

“What signs?”

My Intuition to my Heart:

“THAT SIGN!!!”

A Startling knock on the door

everyone jumped in their seats…including me!

My Hope jumped up and clapped his hands in pure delight
 

My Mind:

“WOW…I am blown away!!!”

My Heart:

“Wait a second…maybe it’s the room service bringing more ice for Mr. Spirit’s Jack Daniel’s”

My Hope to my Heart:

“What’s wrong with you???  Since when have you become such a skeptic?  As far as I remember you have always been the one inspiring us all.

My Spirit:

“He is becoming an old fart…that’s what’s wrong with him…he he!”

My Mind:

“Oh cut the crap…will you?”

My Spirit laughs out loud.
 

My Hope:

“Well…let’s see!”

My Spirit:

“Yes…let’s”

They all shouted at my body

 
”Hey…you gonna move or what?”

My Body:

“Give me a sec.”

 
They all shouted at my body again

 
”TODAY!!!”

My Body:

“Hey…it’s not my fault…tell Mr. Spirit to stop pouring all that JD into me!”

My Spirit to my Body:

“Yea right, as if alcohol ever had any effect on you.”

My Body to my Spirit:

“If anyone…you should be grateful for my intake ability of alcohol…and you too (nodding at my ‘Mind’) cause that’s the only time we can shut you up for a moment or two.”

Although they all had great appreciation for my Mind since he was the only link to the physical world, my Mind was still a FEATHERWEIGHT among these giants

My Mind to everyone:

“Can we open the F…g door before I loose it???”

My body mumbling:

“As impatient as always…ok…ok”

The blood ran out of everyone’s face when my Body opened the door…everyone’s except my Intuition’s face.  Although a bit afraid that his assertion might not come through, he kept his posture with such certainty, that he almost looked arrogant!  With a silent smirk on his face he turned and looked at my Heart as if saying…now…pipe Up!

Not that anyone had ever doubted my Intuition’s ability, we were still all impressed.  We gathered that he actually had asked for a favor to get that sign on command and we had no idea he had such connections in other realms.

At that point I couldn’t retain myself anymore and roared with laughter.
 

My Intuition to my Heart:

“Will this do?   Or you need more convincing???”

My Heart to my Intuition:

“Will you stop breaking my balls?  You think I don’t want it to be true as much as you do?  that she exists and that there might be a chance that we find and unite with her?  Who do you think has suffered most every time we had to find her in each life, since we all got together millenniums ago for the first time?

Where the hell do you think I get my desire to beat if not for our soul mate?  What and whom do you think makes me still wanna go on and keep this guy (pointing at my ‘Hope’) alive?

My Hope was sitting on the corner of the table, still amazed by the performance that my Intuition had put up...looking like a little boy with his mouth wide open!

And my Spirit got a preoccupied facial expression as if contemplating to start getting ready for work.  My Body was paralyzed still gazing beyond the wide open door into an empty hallway.

My Mind addressing everyone:

“Gentlemen…we all need to cool down.  It was a great thing that Mr. ‘Intuition’ shared with us, although – I think I can speak for all of us – no one here ever doubted him.”

He now was speaking as the true diplomat he always was…although a sort of lip service for my Intuition, he (my Intuition) let it pass without any remark.

My mind continued

“We all need to consider the fact that after the defeat imposed upon us by our ‘Personalized Antichrist’ we are all on our toes.  Can’t we just be happy and rejoice for this great sign that we just received?  Come on…what’s up with all the long faces?   We just got ourselves a great sign!  A sign delivered directly by the angels – I have no idea how you did it (turning to My Intuition) and I don’t wanna know either…you know…instructed directly by the forces of the universe…especially and only for us… brothers…that is a great honor!”  

No one doubted what the sign - that knock on the door - meant…that it was a message from my beloved’s messenger (her Intuition) to my intuition delivered by an angel and granted by the universal forces; a confirmation of her existence and her desire to unite with me.
 
 

It was my turn to speak
 

Me adressing every one:

“See…we all have to do what we are doing right now.  We have to go here and there and even to hell and back if necessary.  We simply cannot leave this earth without first finding and uniting with her first.

I know…I know that we have other assignments, but this is the noblest one.  Finding and uniting with her is what will provide us with all the necessary inspiration and comfort to go on.

So, do not despair…deep inside, you all know why we are here in Sydney and why we have been to all those places and will most probably visit others, tracking her tracks, smelling her scent left behind in an alley, feeling her warmth on every beach and road, on every flower and room, on seeing and separating each light beam coming from the moon carrying an image of her silhouette and hearing her voice in every melody.   

The fact is that we need to make ourselves available…we need to help her…she maybe is stuck somewhere.  Yes…we have to make ourselves available and visible…in all ways and fashions…including geographically.

It is not only for the Mr. ‘Heart’s’ sanity that we won’t give up the pursuit of her…it is for the sanity of us all!

Which one of you guys would feel like keep on going with the same ferocity on this earth if we never had her to focus on?  What kind of a ‘Predator’ would we be if Mr. ‘Hope’ would just be silenced?  

What would the Falcons say?  How would the angels look upon us?...Or worse, our demons?

Do not feel weary of the hardship of our quest and search for her.  Do not despair … that’s what we have Mr. ‘Hope’ and Mr. ‘Intuition’ for.  Use them…consult them and take comfort in their strength.

We need to stay put and be strong!   

And you need to chill a bit (I was talking to my ‘Intuition’), not everyone here has your foresight.

And you … (turning to my ‘Spirit’) … pull yourself up … stop all that with the JD…can’t you see you are hurting Mr. ‘Body’?

My Body:

“I am alright…let him be sedated for a while if he needs that…he has been under lots of pressure”.

Me:

“I am just saying what good we all would be if you would collapse”.

My Body:

“I am fine!!!”

Me turning towards My Spirit again:

“Get over yourself man...the defeat inflicted upon us by our ‘Personalized Antichrist’ was not your responsibility alone…we all failed.  But that is in the past now.  No one wins all the time!  The most important thing is that we survived and are still here…stronger than ever…so stop sulking!

You all have to understand that her Heart is also yearning for us and her Mind wishing, her Hope active and her Intuition is working feverishly to do tracking as our Mr. Intuition here is doing.  Her body is trying her best to keep itself fit and healthy.  I am absolutely sure her spirit is getting ready to fend off all evil trying to block our way to meet – that’s more than I can say about some here who are sedating themselves constantly…

My Spirit:

“Oh…knock it off…you know that I will be there when the shit hits the fan”.

ME:

“Yes…but I want you to be there before that happens!!!  No more trouble shooting please!

Anyway, as I was saying … the whole of her is on high alert…that much I am certain of…even her kin!

By the way, I am still wondering … who are her kin?” (I just throw the question out there for anyone to answer…also to lighten up the mood a bit).

 

My Intuition:

“Hhmm…not really sure, but I think she is a ‘Rooted one’ ”.

ME:

“You mean she is not a flyer?”

My Intuition:

“Naa…that wouldn’t make sense…or…yea…maybe…I am sorry, I don’t have a clue…not yet…no one ever asked me this before…give me some time and I will find out.”  

ME:

“It’s not important”

My Heart:

“Actually…it is sort of important.  I mean how can we live with a ‘Rooted one? … we are flyers, fast and agile and always in the skies?”

By ‘Rooted’ he meant the earth…the kinship of trees, flowers vegetation and of course the earth itself.

My Mind responding to my Heart:

“Well…Actually very well…that’s where we need to land.”

My Spirit:

“Oh Lord…here these two go again…guessing and speculating…some one shoot me please!!!”

My Body:

“I must say that the ‘Rooted’ ones are very demanding and slow…for me at least”

My Hope:

“A flyer…that’s what I wish for us…a fast one…maybe another Falcon…that would be perfect…or an eagle…hey…an eagle…yea…an eagle…(looking as if dreaming) … yea…her huge strong wings, her altitude, her cry…

Here, my soul Interrupted my Hope, and spoke for the first time…every one had almost forgotten about his presence

My Soul:

“FOOLS!!!  All of you!  Fools!...what’s the matter with you all?  One moment you doubt her very existence and in the next you are ‘ORDERING’ her???  What you guys think you are doing?  shopping for a Barbie Doll?

Everyone laughed

ME:

“I LOOOOVE THIS!

Some of you guys don’t remember…especially you (looking at my ‘Soul’) as you were separated from us and held captive, until we won the battle and killed our ‘Personalized Devil’ and liberated you…but this is fantastic…I mean look at us…we are all together…finally…discussing, laughing, joking…it seems as if it was a life time ago”.

My Spirit:

“It WAS a life time ago.”

My Mind:

“When was it by the way…I mean the last time we were all together?”.

My Spirit:

“Around a century ago…remember in Paris…that time at the theatre.  It was Stravinsky’s premiere of the ‘Fire Bird’.  We were invited by him as moral support…but then we had to dodge tomatoes thrown from the back rows, aiming at Igor.   

There have many times…like the time during the Babylonian war”.

 

My Intuition:

“I wasn’t there!”

My mind:

“No…?”

My Intuition:

“Nope…I had not joined you guys yet.  Had I been there, I would have probably prevented you…or rather this guy (nodding at my Body) from getting so involved with her.”

My Body:

“What did I do now?

My Spirit:

“Nothing special…just be your usual horny little beast…nailing anything that breathes and moves!”

My Body:

“I am sorry…but I am all lost!  Will some one please explain what these guys are talking about?”

My Soul to my body:

“They are talking about that little Jewish girl in that mud house which was almost set ablaze by the Assyrians.  Then we knocked on the wooden door in and found her sitting by her slain husband.  I still remember her long white dress…black hair…you went nuts.  Ordered all your soldiers out and took her to our tent.  Then not long after she ran away with a shepherd!!!”  You were so furious that you couldn’t get down any food for weeks!”

My Body:

“Oooh … that one.”  Was that bad?

My Spirit:

“What…as supposed to good?”  Of course it was bad…so many lives have gone past since that incident and still we cannot trust her.  Only because you couldn’t get over her long silky black hair…despite all the warnings coming from Mr. ‘Mind’”

My Body was looking a bit ashamed

My Hope:

“Hey…what about that time in Germany?  You know…in Koblenz…during the WWII by the river Rhein.  Remember?  We were under attack by the allies trying to cross the river from the south…”

My Mind:

“Rule me out.  I was numb during that whole time.”

My Heart:

“Me too…all I got was grief, pain and despair.”   

My Hope:

“Guys…what are we talking about?  The last time WE all were together or the last time we were with HER?”

My Spirit:

“Just reminiscing on all the times we were all together.”

My Hope:

“Yea, but I wanna know when we were with her.”

My Spirit:

“In almost every life we have had.”

My Mind:

“Not during the war!”

My Spirit:

“I thought you said you were numb during all that time.”

My Mind:

“Yea, but I would have remembered HER.”.

My Soul:

“Well…I can tell you one of the most memorable times.  It was during the 12th century...in Shiraz.  You guys remember…we were all putting our heads together to finish the book ordered by the Grand Caliph.  She was lying next to us on the carpet, with her long hair covering her breasts, dressed in that turquoise silk dress we had bought for her a week before from a merchant just arriving on the ‘silk road’…man…she was a sight!”

A long and loud sigh came from my heart

Everyone laughed

My mind turning to my Heart:

“You romantic fool!!!”

My Heart:

“Yea…and I am proud of it”.

My Body:

“You think she is gonna look the same???”

My Spirit:

“Do YOU look the same as then?”

My Body:

“Well all I need is a beard and a turban!”

My Spirit:

“You wish!!!!

My Body:

“Hey, not all of us can keep the same shape and form across ages and different lives as you guys…you know.”

My Soul:

“Actually we were planning to go to Greece…you know…getting one of those ladies with a mustache for you!!!”

Everyone laughed again

ME:

“Well, the main thing is that she is here and will find her”

My Hope:

“Excuse me…why are we all avoiding the real issue in everyone’s thoughts”?

My Mind:

“Is he talking about Negar again?...man…she must be married with kids and probably even grandkids!

Her titties hanging down to her knees…no down to her FEET!  And for all I care, there is nothing special with her.  She could have taken a step to find us…it goes both ways you know”.

My Spirit:

“Oh…here he goes again…Mr. Charming”

My Hope to my mind:

“You don’t KNOW that…you are just being logical and practical!”

My Spirit to my Heart:

“What’s got to you?...What’s up with the long face?

My Heart:

“Gotta admit…I think of her often.”  Hey (turning to my Intuition)…why can’t you pull some strings and find out a bit about her.”

My Intuition:

“Can’t…I have tried…it’s a dead end everywhere…no signs…no voices, no melodies…not even our friends the birds know anything…it is as if she has vanished…poof!”

My Hope:

“She can’t be dead!!!”

My Intuition:

“No…I don’t think so…no…no, in that case I would have known.  No news is good news…so to speak”.  Maybe it is because she is not for us in this life”.

My Heart:

“How the hell can you say something like that?  Don’t you remember?  Her familiar way of pronouncing our name, and you (looking at the Mr. Body) how natural was it not to just reach and kiss her…and you had not even reached puberty!  Purer love cannot exist!”

My Intuition:

“All I am saying is that if it is so difficult, then maybe it is not meant to be.”

My Spirit:

“I beg to differ”.  Sometimes you gotta fight…real hard”.

My Mind:

“I know I am speaking against what I said earlier…but can’t we just really try to find her…I mean really try.  I mean we are going everywhere else anyway, why not go back there and track her down.”

My Soul:

“And then what?  We find her, she is married or even worse…she won’t remember us…come on…it has gone 30 years!!!”  So…we waste lots of time, energy, resources and efforts just to be back to square one!”

My Hope (in a sarcastic tone):

“Oh please … you´re killing me!  Don’t be so optimistic … you are beginning to look like me now!”  

Everyone laughs

My Hope:

“We will at least know!”

My Spirit:

“Fine…whatever turns you on…”

My Heart:

“I’m in”

My Intuition:

“Me too…just for the sake of indulging my curiosity…gotta know why I am not picking up any vibes at all.”

My Body:

“I guess I have no choice…alright…but don’t you guys want to just get married and focus on other assignments…look we have Angela, Rebecca…

Oh zip it!!!

comes from everyone simultaneously!!!

My Hope to my Soul:

“What do you think?”

My Soul answering:

“No comments…but if you all are in…then it’s fine by me…I’m game.”

My Hope:

“Then it’s settled…let’s shoot for Christmas”.

My Intuition:

“That’s a good time”.

My Body:

“Ok.”

My Heart:

“Ok.”

My Spirit:

“Ok.”

My Mind:

“Ok.”

My Soul:

“Ok.”

ME:

“Ok.”

First Draft

Sept. 28, 2006 – Speyer, Germany

Edited by Mr. Anthony Carl Barton


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Very attention-grabbing plot..

by Anonymous (not verified) on

Very attention-grabbing plot: Intuition, Heart, Spirit, Mind, Body, Hope, Soul have a meeting and discuss a situation...

I usually don’t like to read long story on internet. This one was very fascinating I couldn’t stop...


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