می بخور، منبر بسوزان - مردم آزاری نکن

On another blog, one of the IRI shitheads proclaimed that Iran became free 31 years ago, and has ever since been the freest nation on this earth! I couldn’t believe my eyes, but tried to close them for a second and imagine what is exactly “free” in the Islamic Republic of Iran.  

1. You are free to drink a sip of water or a piece of bread? Mostly, except for one month a year, when you can get in jail and be lashed 74 times for that.  

2. You are free to sleep as long as you wish? Technically, not if you are a Muslim! All Muslims should wake up bright and early for the Morning Prayer. If you publicly deny that duty, your punishment will again start with those 74 lashes, and can actually go to beheading!  

3. You can say what you want to say? Wrong! You can actually say precious little, before getting into some real trouble. For example, you can’t say that you don’t like fasting in Ramadan. You can’t say that you don’t approve of the Clergy Rule. Use your imagination, and you can easily write ten books about all the things that you can’t say in Islamic Iran.  

4. You can wear what you want? LOL, that’s a good one! Especially women are completely free with their clothing! Men are theoretically free, but try wearing short sleeves or tie to any public building.  

5. You can invite friends to your home for a party? Well, as long as they are all men or all women, you can. Otherwise, they have to be segregated, or you run the risk of a “morality police” attack.  

6. You can drink a spot of alcohol, have a bit of ham, enjoy your choice of music, read the books you like, write blogs, chat freely with friends, have candid phone calls to overseas, hold a girl’s hand in the park, go swimming where you like, speak your mind in the university …? Well, of course the answer is one giant NO FUCKING WAY!  

So what is it that you and I can do in the Mecca of Liberty, the epicenter of freedom, the most democratic country in the world, the point of aspiration for all the Muslims and the dispossessed, which other people elsewhere cannot even dream of doing?  

A- You can sign up to participate in suicide bombing missions (Amaliyaat Esteshhadi).  

B- You can receive guerrilla war training to get ready for global Jihad against the infidels.  

C- You can marry four wives and have as many poor and desperate girls and women you can afford, as temporary (Sigheh).  

D- You can beat a girl in the street, if she is not fully covering her hair, and get paid for that too!  

E- You can form vigilante gangs and receive training and arms from the government, to kill, maim and torture, whoever you deem un-Islamic.  

F- You can rally in the streets, howl like rabid dogs, beat yourself with chains and dagger, and then expect the government to feed you at a kingly feast.

Hey, I guess IRI is the "land of the free" after all, because there you can do such exotic things that we can’t even imagine here.