What if I am a Jew?


What if I am a Jew?
by Shazde Asdola Mirza

One of the IRI troopers on this site enjoys coming to my blogs, to curse me as a Jew (Yahoodi). I always found those posts offensive and cursed him back, but after his last attack, I had these thoughts:  

1- Why do I get so offended by his accusation?  

2- What if I actually were a Jew?  

To answer the number 1 question, I had to be really honest with myself and dig deep into my inner thoughts and biases. As any other kid brought up in the streets of Tehran, I always associated the Jews with filth and fear. The suffix after calling someone a Jew was either Kasif or Tarso. So naturally, as a proud boy, I never wanted to be associated with kids carrying either of those nasty adjectives.  

The second what-if question is a bit easier to answer. I have a large nose as well as a large circumcised … oops. So without any identification papers, I could have been picked up by the Nazi SS as one of the Jewish rats, destined for extermination. Then I did some more thinking to see what would have happened if I was really a Jew, and came up with the following answers.  

1- I would still have loved the ham and cheese sandwich, the bacon cheeseburger and the pepperoni pizza.  

2- I’d be still chasing the Shiksa blonde girls, although their IQ is half the minimum level for mating, as recommended by the Rabbi.  

3- If some Arab terrorist threw mortar and missiles at my town, I would go and bomb the crap out of their neighborhood guerrilla base.  

4- If the nut job president of an Islamist country threatened to destroy my nation, and then went on to build some nuclear stuff, I’d have gone and destroyed all his atomic toys.

What the fuck? I haven’t had a bowl of Matzo balls and already my Jewish vein is throbbing like a time bomb!


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by timothyfloyd on



Excellent job. The

by vildemose on

Excellent job. The anti-semitism on this site sometimes is so blatantly pathetic that it boggles the mind. And as Farshod aptly pointed out, at least they don't kill their own on rooftops in broad day light. Thank you for highlighting the patheticness of IRI or should I say IRGC groupies on this site.

Just read No Fear's gem of a commentary here to see why I call them IRGC groupies:

Military dictatorship or a necessity?

by No Fear on


Right on, Shazde

by farshadjon on

Khanom Parsi:

Let’s remember the other side of story as well,

Being a true Muslim and a supporter/defender of fascist and murderous (cancerous) so called Islamic regime are not the same thing.Peace  P.S. Let’s remember the fact that

Zionists DON’T kill Zionists/Jews/Israelis, but Islamic (fascist) regime in Iran actually kill Muslims/Iranians.


Talk about cancer

by Rea on

Cancerogenous cells are known to be prolific.  So, when you look up Israel, do not miss Cuba, North Korea and IRI.

Was it not the late Iranian Shah who'd spoken about the unholy alliance of the "black and red" ?


its not about being a jew ,

by shahanshahesmail on

its not about being a jew , its about being part of a zionist cancer known as israel.


true np

by humanbeing on

that's why i didn't get into the point shazde raised about the missiles and guerillas etc. that's another issue.

we're confronting the jewish taboo (with a bit of therapy for anti-semitism by humour) thing here, or so i thought. bringing down some walls of hatred, triggered possibly by a hate comment by jolly on another thread.

i personally do the israel thing not on ic, but in the flesh, fighting the separation wall and apartheid in situ. i certainly won't do it in a thread of shazde, whose request to keep israel and pals out of it featured on other blogs.

unless of course he wants to, but i really prefer not to.


Niloufar Parsi

slight confusion

by Niloufar Parsi on

in your 'logic':

being a jew and an israeli are not the same thing.



Chilling picture

by Rea on

But it goes well with V Day.

Mirza, wise old saying from my country: "Long nose, long private member." ;o)



by humanbeing on

enjoy the long nose and long circumcised oops. the shiksas have discovered these merits, so they obviously have some smarts. in those dark times some of my relatives managed to escape because they didn't look jewish. i suppose we have some shiksas in a previous generation to thank for that.

i'm afraid i have a long nose (which i refuse to 'repair', much to my mother in law's chagrin), but i am the cowardly, don't fight back with nukes or bombs. rather talk  the nut job to death, if i had a chance.

i do make a mean chicken soup -- you are always welcome to helpings of it. as for the iq, you'll have to decide (or consult your rabbi).

it is refreshing to divest the political correctness which is so tedious. 


I love the picture. Very

by benross on

I love the picture. Very telling.



by yolanda on

LOL! Thank you for being so facetious and honest! It cracked me up big time!