War and Peace … or Love

War and Peace … or Love
by Shazde Asdola Mirza

Chimpanzees are the closest animal to us. In the typical chimp groups, there are 2 females for each male, because the males are constantly busy fighting one another and/or the neighboring chimps.  

Most boys love the “war games”. Give a boy kid a stick and he is going to use it as sword or spear. Give the same to a little girl, and she may try to raise a tent, using her mother’s Chador … to serve tea and cookies inside.  

We love to fight and they like to love. Women love their mothers, sisters, children … they even love us!  

Make no mistake; we don’t like to make “love” … although most men enjoy a good fuck. Fucking is like fighting … several key strategic points need to be conquered … domination over the critical areas should be established … finally there is a lot of wrestling and spearing.  

For the past 10,000 years; women (yes forget about Abraham and Moses … pay attention to the wives behind them) have been trying hard to “civilize” us and turn the clock back to the time when we were “Adam”.

 I only have one thing to say to them: Good Luck!


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Shazde Asdola Mirza

dear TruthSeeker

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

It is all relative ... like the ratio of male psychos to women psychos is about 10:1. Same goes for the CEO's.


Why has my comment been

by Truthseeker9 on

Why has my comment been flagged, are we now not allowed to give an honest opinion? Some should go and work in a self employed or contractors environment where it is competitive and then say I am wrong to state this from experience! men and women can be aggressive, but in different ways.


"Covert Tactics
Generally, though, women aren't openly abusive: In fact, there's evidence that their style of bullying is subtler than men's. "Women are better at reading emotions," says Robert Sutton, a professor of management science at Stanford University. "So they're good at little digs that most men wouldn't even register— the quick glare, or turning away and talking to someone else." ......... It's these pointed digs that make some female bullies more toxic than the classic rageaholic. "A man might give you an unreasonable work load and then yell at you for not completing it. Mean women take advantage of vulnerabilities," Namie says. "They'll backstab, undermine, and exclude to hurt other women."



Not true

by Truthseeker9 on

" I believe that the aggressive drive and desire to dominate, which is required for getting to the top of the pyramid, is lacking among the women ... thanks god! Otherwise, they would have been just another bunch of ruthless SOB's, like the rest of us ... and life would have been a living hell. "

Shazdeh, you are wrong to think that, actually the women in management (not all) can be even more aggressive and bitchy than the men. Many over compensate and are not the type to trust. I am just saying don't generalise!


Bonobo Monkeys

by Mamane-Omid on

Shazdeh jon,

As always you started a great topic. you may've heard of Bonobo monkeys which as Wikipedia says " [Sex] This is a factor in the lower levels of aggression seen in the bonobo when compared to the common chimpanzee and other apes". 



Shazde Asdola Mirza

good one, Divaneh jan ... lol

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Yes, women are finding their way into the middle management for sure. The same is true for other "minorities" in the workplace.

In my view, that progress is due to the "de-masculination" of most jobs, especially in the service industry, which has come to dominate the job market in the West.

However, the top management positions in the West (political and economical both) solidly remain in the hands of the White Guy ... for many reasons.

I believe that the aggressive drive and desire to dominate, which is required for getting to the top of the pyramid, is lacking among the women ... thanks god! Otherwise, they would have been just another bunch of ruthless SOB's, like the rest of us ... and life would have been a living hell.


Thanks Azadeh, no, I mean Shazadeh

by divaneh on

Thanks Shazde Jaan for letting the boys down. I do agree that women can bring values into any process that men don't, and their increasing presence in higher management and government has to be celebrated.

A well known fact in management is that women are more suited to the new style of maanagement which is more of an enabler than someone who just gives orders. In high authority positions, they may even be able to bring peace to the world. That is of course if men don't destroy it before that happens. 


Shazdeh! You are RIGHT again!

by P_J on

You are RIGHT ON THE MONEY.   Woman’s approach is NON-MACHO, NON-CONFROTATIONAL, peaceful, practical and does not involve false pride.   Whereas Man’s approach involves ALL of the above!  

Strangely enough, Islam IGNORES all that KNOWLEDGE and wisdom.

My father used to say that Islamic countries would never be able to catch up with the West so long as they take pride in a practice of disabling half of their BRAIN POWER, the WOMEN!

Your example indicated one of those occasions!   My experience is quite similar to yours!

Great Study Shazdeh!   Thank you!

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Dear P_J

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Women's impact on civilizing us, became clear to me through realizing how even having a single woman in the business meetings can change the overall behavior and performance.

30 years ago, all-men meetings were the norm, and take my word for it ... they were aweful. Bunch of testostrone fueled, ego driven, aggressive males around a table; often made for low-quality discussions and subpar outcomes.

For me, the most revealing case was during a team-dynamic workshop, where 10 teams of technically qualified personnel (each with 5 members) were given a hypothetical problem to solve. After the discussions and the decisions were made; it was revealed that the problem was designed based on a real-world disaster.

Fully 9 out of the 10 groups opted for a course of action, which in the real-world case had led to disaster. In my own group, although I could clearly see the wrongful choice that my teammates were making; I was unable to convince any of them. Even against the rules of the "team-dynamic exercise", which required concensus for any decision; they simply overuled my vote and dismissed it.

The only team that made the right decision, was the team with a woman in it. I found it quite significant, and later tried to figure out why that team was able to choose the right path. Interestingly, that one woman was the team member who had indentified the correct path, but she had presented it in a much weaker argument than my own. Nonetheless, somehow, she was able to convince those 4 men (quite easily) to avoid the "disasterous" decision; yet, I had failed despite my much deeper knowledge of the issue and better arguments.

I am personally convinced of the civilizing role of women, but have not studied it enough to present a robust argument. I believe that it has to do with the higher value that women place on civilized attributes, such as safety, health, welfare and charity.

Shazde Asdola Mirza

فرامرز جان

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Well said: nothing like a Super Bowl party, with pizza and beer, to bring out the baboon in the manly men!

BTW they will get your freedom too and put you under the ball-and-chain. It's just a matter of time. You can run but you can't hide ... resistance is futile.


Boys will be Boys!

by Faramarz on

Shazde Jaan,

Women have been trying hard to saddle us for the past thousands of years, but we will never succumb to their wishes.

We will fight for our god-given right to sit in front of TV, watch a soccer match, drink beer, eat pizza and jump up and down like baboons!

And they will never take that away from us!


So TRUE! So True!

by P_J on

Your article was a GREAT journey in soul searching and justice in human Psyche!

I whole heartedly agree with you that women have had a far reaching impact/influence on building of human civilization, than we would like to think, or give them credit for!

In fact they still are the foundation builders. Unfortunately, as you mentioned, some of their efforts have been ignored and/or fallen on deaf ears.

Solution, in my humble opinion is; to make sure that their RIGHTS are fully observed and not violated; also that they are encouraged to seek high political positions and make sure that the glass ceiling, constructed and protected by men is BROKEN!

Again THANK YOU Shazde for your inspiring essay!

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Thanks A.O. for the good link

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Here is some light psychological reading on the internet, looking for answers to the war question:

"Why have we been unable to escape war despite our material advancement and the collective wisdom of our history and cultures? This is a troubling question for those who expect progress to lead to peace."


Anonymous Observer

Fascinating studies done on this

by Anonymous Observer on

Particularly by Dr. David Watts of my alma mater.  All indications are that we have the same tendency to wagre war to eliminate rivals and gain territory as our close genetic cousins.  Here's a NY Times article on the issue:


PS- On a personal note, I tried so hard to get in on this research, but it was starting as I was graduating from grad. school.  So, no such luck. 



Shazde Asdola Mirza

مریم خانم

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Thanks for your kind vote of confidence.

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Oon Yaroo dear

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

My limited experience with the Zaynab Sisters made it clear to me that they were no different than the Other Sisters ... loving and caring.

Oon Yaroo

Shazdeh Jaan, the Hezbollahi women (Zaynab Sisters)

by Oon Yaroo on

love to fight all the time?

This is a paradox, isn't it?

Or is it that Zaynab Sisters are actually male with no penis!?

Maryam Hojjat

Shazdeh, Great truth in your blog

by Maryam Hojjat on

The fact you wrote it make this blog more valid.  thanks.