Prince enters the room and politely bows to everyone with a gracious smile.
Prince: salaam and welcome.
Zebel Man: Death to the Mullahs … Death to America – they all conspired to ruin the monarchy.
Prince: with all due respect … our talk here and today is going to be apolitical.
Zebel Woman: I loved the monarchy … I took to the streets on 12 Bahman to support the Shah.
P: thanks for your nice considerations – but please let’s stick to our agenda today.
ZM: If your Excellency approves, I and a group of 300 dedicated Persians are ready to parachute into Tehran … your family will be in power in less than 72 hours!
P: your kind offer is duly noted and appreciated, but please don’t let our task slip.
ZW: Let me kiss your hands, my liege … it is such an honor just to be at your presence!
P: please lady, please – my hands aren’t clean – oh please don’t lick it like that.
ZM: Your majesty; how come she is allowed to lick and I couldn’t even kiss your shoes, the last time?
P: my good friends, you have simply honored me by being here … so let's move on to our topic of action – i.e. fundraising for the Bam Earthquake victims.
An awkward silence falls over the room and everyone starts turning in the chairs and looking at their shoes. You can see a dark shadow dropping over the Prince’s brow.
Prince: great lovers of Persia; please note that I will match each and every one of your donations … dollar for dollar.
Zebel Man: My Prince – if you had only replied to my many requests for a small investment, I would’ve now donated $100,000 on the spot! I wrote and wrote, but your Excellency never agreed to invest that million dollar into my Farvahar University of Technology.
Zebel Woman: Our Prince almighty – I had written to you 3 years before this Agha! My plea was out of honor, not desperation! All that my Cyrus the Great Theater needed was a meager $250 k, for setting up the Royal Monologue off Broadway.
Prince senses that no aid is forthcoming from the present group – so he thanks them again for coming to the visit and sets to leave the room.
P: goodbye and good day.
Zebel Man quickly runs to the departing prince and starts to kiss his hands while whispering.
ZM: Mr. Prince, I’ve just received half a pound of the best Senatory Teryak from Iran. It is your majesty’s for nothing … nothing … $50k … nothing!
Prince is startled by this unsolicited approach, and gets his elbow out of the ZM’s hand and tries to escape through the other door. But Zebel Woman is right there to accost him with another proposition.
ZW: Your Majesty - why don’t you pay any attention to my burning love? I will cut my wrists if you don’t answer my phone calls! Please; I want you - I need you – I love you. Just let me have your baby!
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See you all next month!
by Shazde Asdola Mirza on Fri Jan 14, 2011 10:07 PM PSTBad Stories for Bad Kids