Super Mario Scandal


Super Mario Scandal
by Niki Tehranchi

Another three women have come forward claiming they have done more than just “8 levels” with Legendary Sports Star and International Celebrity Super Mario, of Super Mario Bros. fame.   This is the latest news in a scandal that erupted during Thanksgiving week-end, when a seemingly inebriated Super Mario was spied by neighbors rushing out of his Red and White Mushroom home in the exclusive gated community in Tampa, Florida at 2:45 in the morning, pursued by his irate wife Princess Peach, of the Mushroom Kingdom.  Although Super Mario’s PR Team initially tried to hush the rumors and blocked efforts by the Tampa Sheriff Department to interview the couple, rumors soon swirled in the Internet that the domestic dispute was triggered by Mario’s alleged cheating of his wife of twenty years with the buxom Amy Kong, of the famous Donkey Kong Dynasty.

Super Mario first came to fame in 1985 for his mushroom hopping skills and successfully running through 8 world dimensions to save his future wife Princess Peach from the claws of his evil antagonist Bowser.  Since then, countless video games, mass manufactured products, lucrative endorsement deals with the likes of Papa John’s Pizzeria and Chef Boyardee’s Mushroom Ravioli, as well as a children’s park have made Super Mario a household names.  Though the mustachioed hero is the face behind the franchise, many touted Luigi, Mario’s little brother and shrewd manager as the puppeteer behind this glitzy empire.  Many speculate that the untimely death of Luigi in 2006, when he accidentally fell through a pit while testing out the latest version of the Super Mario Brother obstacle course, triggered Super Mario’s deep depression and downward spiral into an uncharacteristic life of partying, Vegas trips, and now the surfacing allegations of affairs with several women.

An anonymous source purporting to be a close friend of the Mario family even stated to the National Enquirer that he had text messages from the Sports Star admitting to the affair with Amy Kong and concluding that if his wife were ever to get a wind of it, he would have to give her the “Pokemon” treatment.  This would be a reference to the 1995 sex scandal involving Pokemon super couple Red and Leaf, in while Red Pokemon was forced to gift his wife with a One Million Dollars diamond ring to buy her forgiveness for similar marital transgressions.

The tabloid headlines come in the wake of an embarrassingly timed Game Magazine cover featuring Super Mario and President Obama, entitled, “Ten Tips that Mario gave to Obama.”


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more from Niki Tehranchi

Estupid blogs are much better than video games since they last!

by Anonymouse on

Estupid blogs are here to stay unless's zevaar goes off again! Just kidding!  I actually like blogs (web logs), much better than personal journals and not all girly either!  They are more (can be :-) manly!

I've tried this new Wii games when they say you can exercise to it or play tennis or golf or basketball or other physical activities.  That may not be bad, although the few times I tried it at stores, they didn't give me the latest version.

They kept my drivers license while I played with the game.  I guess kids are abusing it so much.  If I can ever get to play it normally and the latest version, they seem ok. 

Everything is sacred.

Niki Tehranchi

Video Game Addict

by Niki Tehranchi on

I was a big time video game addict in the 80s, from Pacman to Super Mario to my all time favorite Tetris.  Something so hypnotic about them!  Although I haven't touched any since I graduated from high school (many many moons ago).  Now instead, I have a new addiction of constantly going on the Internet and posting stupid blogs :o)


Niki jaan I only remember the Mario Brothers1, barely!

by Anonymouse on

I was never into video games and no matter how much kids loved it or played it, I didn't care for them! I always said what is the best you can do if you become the best video game player in the world? Nothing! Kids spend soooo much time on these video games.

Anyway, I remember the original version, probably like the pac man version! So I don't know all the details of the later versions.  One time I played one of the newer versions and I was dropped into the canyon below and died a painful death!

Anyway, I've heard since the Thanksgiving fiasco, 6 women have come forward and 2 are scheduled to appear next.  Each one floozier than the other! and all WASP!  

Everything is sacred.

Niki Tehranchi

8 years later

by Niki Tehranchi on

Super Mario's name is back in the news after almost a decade of silence in which the infamous sports star and adulterer began life as a recluse in his solidly armed mushroom compound in the exclusive beach resort of Malibu, California.  This about-face from the once visible star was the result of negative publicity surrounding the discovery of numerous affairs he had with several women.  Since then, Mario had kept a low profile, even converting to Portobellology, the official religion of the Mushroom Kingdom, in an effort to salvage his marriage to Princess Peach and his public image.

This low profile however was shattered this past Saturday.  That is when, according to TMZ reporters, Mario was pulled over by the California Highway Patrol at 4:45 am for driving erratically on the Pacific Coast Highway.  An unnamed source from the CHP reveals that the mustachioed personality was drunk and belligerent and berated the arresting officers, telling them that he "owned" the Kingdom of Malibu and repeatedly calling them derogatory names such as "Porcini butts" and "little Shiits", a crude reference to the fact that the officers are followers of the Mushroom Kingdom's minority religion, Shiitakeism. 

Princess Peach, Super Mario's long-suffering wife, issued a statement through her attorney Gloria Allred, confirming long-rumored reports that the couple was officially separated for several months and that they would be filing for divorce.  Super Mario, despite his protestations that he had mended his ways as a womanizer and a substance abuser, had been recently seen several times around town with a mysterious woman, now revealed to be Sofia Semyonovna Marmeladova, the heiress to the TETRIS Kingdom.

Stay tuned... 


Scandal footage right here! :)

by admin on

I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek

i can't wait for princess peach's statement

by I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek on

Who knew she had all that offensive power in her! she was totally palm to cheek in front of bowser!



by IRANdokht on

Niki jan you remember so many details of the Mario Brothers' game! I am impressed! Great parallels too, good job!

Fantastic investigative report.