Rebound girlfriend

Niki Tehranchi
by Niki Tehranchi
11-May-2011
 

My mom left after an extended stay with us and I feel like the poorest of substitutes.  She and Sweetpea bonded so much over this particular trip, more than grandma and grandson, more than best friends, really like a couple in love.  They were joined at the hip from the first moment of the morning when he would awake her with a kiss while she was pretending to still be asleep in her bed, to the inevitable Romeo and Juliet like forced separation of bedtime.

Now that she left, I happily resumed my role or so I thought.  I tried to emulate the activities which they had fun having together like jumping on the trampoline or "fishing" his toy things from the pool.  When he turned to me dejectedly and told me in the saddest voice: "I don't want to jump on the trampoline anymore",  I suddenly felt like the rebound girlfriend who has failed to live up to the guy's ideal of his ex.  Remember the scene in Annie Hall where Woody Allen artificially recreates a funny, spontaneous moment he had had with Diane and a couple of fugitive lobsters in the kitchen of their country home and the new girlfriend is just standing there smoking, with a dead look in her eyes, like she JUST doesn't get it?  That's me.  I guess I should count my blessings.  At least he is not trying to get me to the hairdresser to change my do or find just the right model gray suit to remind him of his true love!

I finally realized the best thing to do is try not to compete.  Find our own stuff to do, so I can't be measured up.  So yesterday, I took him on a wild safari adventure (at Petco), an exhilirating triathlon meet (the playground), and finished off with an exotic exploration of the culinary world (McDonald's).  I think I am back in his good graces :-) 

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more from Niki Tehranchi
 
Hafez for Beginners

Big Mac

by Hafez for Beginners on Fri May 13, 2011 08:45 AM PDT

Indulge your flaws and soft spots - life's a bore without them. Releaved to hear about "Ladybug." I wouldn't be embarrassed about sharing your motherhood experiences. I clicked on the title thinking it would be about some relationship stuff... adult relationship stuff, and was surprised. I'm sure there're enough mothers on this site who'd enjoy posts. The key to personal tales is to make them appeal to others, too. ie. even if it's your own personal story, it also resonates something in others. Not all writers can achieve that. Next time I have a Big Mac, I'll think of you! 

Afsaneh


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Niki Tehranchi

FatDonalds :o)

by Niki Tehranchi on Wed May 11, 2011 10:00 PM PDT

First of all thank you everyone for your thoughtful comments! I want to give you some relief, in that Sweetpea's favorite food is "Zereshk Polo with Kishmish" (how he calls it himself) and not a Happy Meal. 

Having said that, I need to share that when I was a kid, my parents were uberstrict and forbid me to even go near a McDonalds as long as I lived under their roof. And then, sent me at the age of 11 to vacation with my aunt in North America and the first meal she took me to was...you guessed it! Do you think I bothered to tell her that this was taboo? (tee-hee).  Suffice it to say that eating that BigMac that day became akin to a re-born religious kind of experience and so for all of you MacDonalds poopooers out there, I will admit I have a soft spot for this place, grease warts and all.

As for the girlfriend metaphor, I do acknowledge it is kind of awkward but I was really doing it for comical effect and also to get people to click on my blog and not to avoid it like the plague as another "Tehranchi is obsessed about her kids again" blog.  If it makes you feel any better, I am equally obsessed about my daughter Ladybug? LoL

Wish you all a belated Happy Mother's Day!!! :o)


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Hafez for Beginners

wish you the best

by Hafez for Beginners on Wed May 11, 2011 08:38 PM PDT

Niki: Don't want to do the therapist thing... but mom + "girlfriend" analogy while talking about a mother-son relationship....did make me a little.... less comfortable shall we say? Be sooooooo careful, Iranian moms have a thing of being sexually possessive of their kids.

Your story was a pleasure to read. I bet you if you take the  "girlfriend" analogy out of your mind, whether rebound or new girlfriend, then your son will feel it in a second, too. Children feel e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. 

He might have enjoyed Grandma for not feeling obligated in ways he's not comfortable with you. Less needy love from the Grandma, for example - etc. etc. -- I wish you the best raising your son.

 

Afsaneh


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Faramarz

One Can Never Compete with Grandma!

by Faramarz on Wed May 11, 2011 01:51 PM PDT

Dear Niki,

Don't even go there!

Grandmas especially the ones from the mother's side are awesome and you will never be able to compete with them. So just accept the fact that you have to share the little guy with your mom and move on!

p.s. I agree with Red Wine, no Fat Donald's for the kids! Try sushi instead!


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ramintork

Very sweet, Kids bounce back quickly

by ramintork on Wed May 11, 2011 12:53 PM PDT

You'll be the favourite in no time.


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Red Wine

...

by Red Wine on Wed May 11, 2011 09:32 AM PDT

نیکی‌ خانم جان،جای مادر عزیزتان خالی‌ نباشد،جایشان همیشه سبز باشد... پس بنابراین طبق آداب و رسوم میبایستی آش پشت پای ایشان را همین شنبه عصر بخوریم،لطفا ما را خبر کنید.اگر میشود کتلت و زرشک پلو با مرغ (ما گوشت و مرغ نمیخوریم،نظر حکما این است،اما کباب ماهی‌ میخوریم) هم در کنار آن باشد،بزن و بکوب راه می‌‌اندازیم که اینطور خوش باشد و دل‌ همگان شاد.

در ضمن تو رو حضرت عباس،شما را به روح آقای بزرگ قسم میدهیم که به جاهای مثل مکه دونالد تشریف نبرید ! معلوم نیست اینها چه به خورد ملت میدهند،تمام اغذیه ایشان مسموم هستند.

طول عمر و سلامتی بر شما و عزیزانتان نهایت آرزوی ماست.

 


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Anahid Hojjati

Nikki jan, your mom must be a great grandmother

by Anahid Hojjati on Wed May 11, 2011 09:23 AM PDT

It took you a wild safari adventure (at Petco), an exhilirating triathlon meet (the playground), and an exotic exploration of the culinary world (McDonald's) to get back in your son's good graces :).


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