Doctor Marzieh Vahid-Dastjerdi has been approved as the first woman minister in the Islamic Republic of Iran. This is a clear victory for the Islamic fundamentalism, however more prudent approach should’ve been taken place, for example as it is clearly seen in the photo, her hand can be seen at the bottom of the picture, also it can be seen that she has two eyes, two eyebrows, one nose, and smiling lips!
First and outmost questions yet remain unanswered: why she hasn’t covered her entire face, except for one eye? Why she is not wearing gloves to cover her hands? And, why is she smiling in public? Doesn’t she know that with her ghoncheh lips she is arousing men? I can certainly testify to that myself, as I’m typing these words I have become excited, I can feel tingling under my belt. la’nat! She should have covered herself more. Look at those lips!
Ahmadenijad, with her selection, has clearly broken another barrier in gender equality in Iran under Islamic governance, and this great achievement only took 30 years to achieve. At this rate the glorious Islamic Order will surely launch the first Islamic Iranian woman astronaut (not the other one that did not maintain her veil correctly at all times) in orbit in year 1,500’s, according to the Islamic calendar. God willing.
One of the best aspects in her selection as the Health Minster is that she is a gynecologist, well trained in the detection of tears in the fabric of hymen, tashkhizeh paaregi pardeh. So, from here on all hymen reconstruction surgeries will be deemed illegal. The next item in her ministerial agenda (not to be confused with menstrual agenda) is mandatory virginity examination of all virgin Iranian women between the ages of 9 to 99, when they are getting ready to get married for the first time. All Iranian women over 99-years old will be exempt from this mandatory virginity examination out of respect for their elderly status in the Islamic society. Staffs from Ministry of Health, and perhaps Doctor Dastjerdi herself, will examine and issue virginity certificates to the future brides, to insure that the purity of the Islamic values is preserved. All other religious minorities, except Christians and Jews, will be exempt from virginity examination; they can do whatever they want with their virginity as long as they don’t tell. But, Christian and Jew females still have to be virgins when they get married, it’s in the Books.
Also, in her agenda will be the renewal of her previously defeated attempt to sexually segregate hospitals and medical establishments in accordance with Sharia laws. As soon as possible all wee-wee examinations by decadent female Iranian urologists will be stopped and will be replaced by wee-wee examination by puritan Muslim male urologists. And, no more female dentists looking at rotten male teeth, and no more male dentists looking at female luscious lips, and no more optometrists gazing in blind-like-bat eyes of the opposite genders. And, no more pervert male gynecologists looking at female chee-chees. All hospitals, all clinics, all examination rooms, all streets and sidewalks leading to such segregated facilities will be segregated, and all ambulances driving on such segregated streets will also be segregated. If you are a woman and get injured in a segregated park, your injured body will be put in a segregated ambulance and will be driven in a segregated street to the nearest segregated hospital, even if it is 200 kilometer away. Sooner or later you will get there, but your rights as a human being will not be violated by taking you to a mixed gender hospital. There will be female ambulance drivers taking you there, there will be female nurses and doctors tending to your female bodies, and there will be female janitors cleaning up the bloody floors in such said facilities.
If you’re a man and you’re dying, do not dare to get anywhere near any female medical facilities, and vise versa. Also, if you participate in any street demonstrations and by fault of your own get yourself arrested and raped, be aware that in these segregated facilities your bodies will be burnt beyond recognition, because in the glorious and progressive Islamic Order there are no people who get raped under custody.
Congratulation Doctor Dastjerdi. Thank God, you gave me the best genital examination of my life while you were in medical school, but since then the Islamic Order has progressed immensely, so I wish you all the success in segregating the society even more.
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