Read and Weep

Balatarin
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Read and Weep
by Multiple Personality Disorder
04-Sep-2009
 

Doctor Marzieh Vahid-Dastjerdi has been approved as the first woman minister in the Islamic Republic of Iran.  This is a clear victory for the Islamic fundamentalism, however more prudent approach should’ve been taken place, for example as it is clearly seen in the photo, her hand can be seen at the bottom of the picture, also it can be seen that she has two eyes, two eyebrows, one nose, and smiling lips!

First and outmost questions yet remain unanswered: why she hasn’t covered her entire face, except for one eye?  Why she is not wearing gloves to cover her hands?  And, why is she smiling in public?  Doesn’t she know that with her ghoncheh lips she is arousing men?  I can certainly testify to that myself, as I’m typing these words I have become excited, I can feel tingling under my belt.  la’nat!  She should have covered herself more.  Look at those lips!  

Ahmadenijad, with her selection, has clearly broken another barrier in gender equality in Iran under Islamic governance, and this great achievement only took 30 years to achieve.  At this rate the glorious Islamic Order will surely launch the first Islamic Iranian woman astronaut (not the other one that did not maintain her veil correctly at all times) in orbit in year 1,500’s, according to the Islamic calendar.  God willing.

One of the best aspects in her selection as the Health Minster is that she is a gynecologist, well trained in the detection of tears in the fabric of hymen, tashkhizeh paaregi pardeh.  So, from here on all hymen reconstruction surgeries will be deemed illegal.  The next item in her ministerial agenda (not to be confused with menstrual agenda) is mandatory virginity examination of all virgin Iranian women between the ages of 9 to 99, when they are getting ready to get married for the first time.  All Iranian women over 99-years old will be exempt from this mandatory virginity examination out of respect for their elderly status in the Islamic society.  Staffs from Ministry of Health, and perhaps Doctor Dastjerdi herself, will examine and issue virginity certificates to the future brides, to insure that the purity of the Islamic values is preserved.  All other religious minorities, except Christians and Jews, will be exempt from virginity examination; they can do whatever they want with their virginity as long as they don’t tell.  But, Christian and Jew females still have to be virgins when they get married, it’s in the Books.  

Also, in her agenda will be the renewal of her previously defeated attempt to sexually segregate hospitals and medical establishments in accordance with Sharia laws.  As soon as possible all wee-wee examinations by decadent female Iranian urologists will be stopped and will be replaced by wee-wee examination by puritan Muslim male urologists.  And, no more female dentists looking at rotten male teeth, and no more male dentists looking at female luscious lips, and no more optometrists gazing in blind-like-bat eyes of the opposite genders.  And, no more pervert male gynecologists looking at female chee-chees.  All hospitals, all clinics, all examination rooms, all streets and sidewalks leading to such segregated facilities will be segregated, and all ambulances driving on such segregated streets will also be segregated.  If you are a woman and get injured in a segregated park, your injured body will be put in a segregated ambulance and will be driven in a segregated street to the nearest segregated hospital, even if it is 200 kilometer away.  Sooner or later you will get there, but your rights as a human being will not be violated by taking you to a mixed gender hospital.  There will be female ambulance drivers taking you there, there will be female nurses and doctors tending to your female bodies, and there will be female janitors cleaning up the bloody floors in such said facilities.

If you’re a man and you’re dying, do not dare to get anywhere near any female medical facilities, and vise versa.  Also, if you participate in any street demonstrations and by fault of your own get yourself arrested and raped, be aware that in these segregated facilities your bodies will be burnt beyond recognition, because in the glorious and progressive Islamic Order there are no people who get raped under custody.  

Congratulation Doctor Dastjerdi.  Thank God, you gave me the best genital examination of my life while you were in medical school, but since then the Islamic Order has progressed immensely, so I wish you all the success in segregating the society even more.

Balatarin
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more from Multiple Personality Disorder
 
Louie Louie

Like some of you

by Louie Louie on Fri Sep 04, 2009 12:39 PM PDT

I was clueless about meaning of double dipping so I went to Urban Dictionary and I saw def that make you blush.

 

:)))))))))))))

With Regards

Louie Cheshmo Goosh Baz Shodeh

 


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yolanda

Hi! MPD,

by yolanda on Fri Sep 04, 2009 12:50 PM PDT

Hi! I have only one user name. It is a misunderstanding that I have more than one user name. It is impossible for me to be active under other user names 'cause I don't have any other names. It is possible that I left comments from different locations with the same username. I did access Iranian.com when I was on vacation in a different state ... The reason I am active is I am on my 2 and half months' summer break. I don't remember I double-dipped, maybe I don't even understand what double-dipping means. I do edit my posts a lot 'cause I always find grammatical errors. I hope you are happy!!!!!!!!! I don't think there is any feud between us here.

thanks,

yolanda

 


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Multiple Personality Disorder

Hi che khabar e,

by Multiple Personality Disorder on Fri Sep 04, 2009 01:10 PM PDT

You've always been kind to me, so the benign comment was not about your comment.  So, that leaves one of the other two that their comment might be perceived as benign, or vicious, depending on what they meant by it.  I can't read minds, actually there was no words to read, except in the Subject, which I can't make a judgment based on that.

Actually I think double dipping has several meanings, in case you don't know one of the meanings is that when a man...well, I can't say it.  My comment might get deleted if someone doesn't like it.  JUst use your imagination. 

But anyway, now I have 5 different registered user names, taa del'e hasoda besozeh (may jealous hearts get roasted)!   


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ThePope

You did GOOD

by ThePope on Fri Sep 04, 2009 11:47 AM PDT

MPD jaan,

I've always read & enjoyed your blogs, but I think this is the first time I'm leaving you a comment,,, and the reason is not only because I like this piece of satire you wrote, but mostly for what you just did. Damet garm!

"...someone flagged my comment, and not the other one, because they didn't like MY kind of language. People often blame others for their own imagination."

It's a good thing that you stood up to these kind of ppl. This 'flagging/deleting' business has gotten too loos... digeh sh'oor-e sho dar ovordan.


p.s.   oh yeah, since when lab chotori is considered goncheyi?!  ;-) 


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che khabar e

like... i'm confused

by che khabar e on Fri Sep 04, 2009 11:42 AM PDT

Does "double dipping" have two different meanings?  Double (or secondary) posting of the same article... AND dual registered names?

BTW, there is nothing benign about my support.  I think you're one cool dude!  And mushie is kind cute too. :-)


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Azarin Sadegh

Oh No!

by Azarin Sadegh on Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:55 AM PDT

Dear MPD,

Even if I love your work, and I love human rights and I am a feminist and I would always support the Human Rights...but I just can't stand the sight of this chadori woman...like any other chadori! I'm totally allergic to their shape and their smell and their hidious voice whatever it is...and their language, the way they move, and talk and hide their smile, as if they're ashamed of feeling happiness. The way they like to touch other women and stare blankly at them, like staring at nothingness... 

Please, please, please double dip one of your funny blogs, or at least add your old comments to the body of this blog!

Your fan, Azarin


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Multiple Personality Disorder

Yes, I double dipped and I'm proud of it

by Multiple Personality Disorder on Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:52 AM PDT

The reason I double dipped is because my own comment in my own blog was deleted.  There wasn't a single profane word in my comment.  The comment was a combination of two commonly used sentences in the popular culture.  I Googled them and there are 24-35 million entries for them, in quotation marks.  At the same time there was another sexually explicit comment that started this, but that comment was not deleted.  So, someone flagged my comment, and not the other one, because they didn't like MY kind of language.  People often blame others for their own imagination.

Also, I found out that "yolanda", "che khabar e", and "Fousul Bashi" have been double dipping under different registered names; all three of them very active under their other registered names, and all three of them have been supportive of me, well at least two and one benign one that could go either way.  As I predicted when mandatory registration started, multiple registered names is going to be the new trend.

People are double dipping, so I double dipped.  My blog is still featured even though I did not ask for it to be featured again, and I got rid of all the comments that I didn't like for any reason I have, whether I'm correct or not, even though the Editor or other people might not have had a problem with them.  Everything is fine, all according to the rules.


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Anonymouse

Is is Dastgerdi or

by Anonymouse on Fri Sep 04, 2009 05:13 AM PDT

Is is Dastgerdi or Dastjerdi?  BTW did you just deleted this blog and resubmitted?  Did you just double-dipped?!   

Everything is sacred.


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