msabaye

I found this quote: "Silence

I found this quote:

"Silence is an attribute of the dead; he who is alive speaks"

@alimostofi
FB: astrologer.alimostofi

Mostofi joon now I know why you are who you are:

Un-wanted talk. How to deal with it?

What we see when the person is obssessed with one subject? The person is in vicious cycle of repeating again and again the same subject with no regard to the interest of the listener. What is the problem?

We just see a tip of iceburg. We don't see the deep "unfinished business". The issue is much deeper than what we see on the surface. It is dramatic, outrages event in the person's mind which may have no value for the listener. In short term, This is how to deal with it.

A. Paraphrasing = This technique is just repeating whatever the talker is saying. For example,the talker says: "My parents are really getting on my nerve". you repeat exact the phrase "Your parents are really getting on your nerve".  

B. Reflection of feeling = This technique may be a little harder. just reflect whatever vibs you are receiving. In the above example, the listener might says : Seems your parents are really make you "mad" or "Seems your parent are really make you happy" or whatever feeling you're at that time. It is just a "Vibs". Detect the feeling and reflect that feeling back to the talker. This is a brief remedy for them to ease off their symptoms.

At the end, you should refer the friend or co-worker to the therapist for furthur consideration.

Unfortunately, therpay is not valued in Iranian culture. They view the person who seek actively therapy as a person who is not in touch with reality or they may look down at the them. Therapy is usually associated with the stigma of being "basket case". The person afraid to carry that stigma. That individual may say ....come on I am not crazy.

   In Iranian culture, if the person facing dramatic event in life, he/she prefer to share those feelings with next door neighbore or close friend. Those neighbors or friends are not professional and most of the time they can NOT help. They just get bored like truthseeker9. They may think the talkers intese speech as a sign of  "selfishness" or they may lable them "ego-centeric" which is compeletly wrong interpretation.  As truthseeker9 said; they usually avoid to provide any help because that is NOT their job.

My advise is you just refer them to the therapist, but make sure the therapist is licensed.  

Siavash

...

Here are some sayings:

Here are some sayings:

Myrtle Reed: "Silence and reserve will give anyone a reputation for wisdom"

Kahlil Gibran: "I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strangely, I am ungrateful to these teachers"

Anne Austin: "How can a heart suffer your deepest thoughts and yet only speak the unmoving, inconsequential utterances of abject silence?"

@alimostofi
FB: astrologer.alimostofi

People who sap others energy

I used to feel sorry for people who just want to talk about themselves or just about topics they are interested in, thinking they  are lonely etc. Like an elderly neighbour who wants you to accompany them to a venue but never ask if they can return the favour, you are only called on if they need you for something of interest to them. Or a co-worker who just talks about themselves  but shows little interest in you or others. There is one person at work that is driving me crazy and at the end of the day this person's domination of the air space is selfish, whether it is out of insecurity, loneliness etc. These people draw energy from those around them which fatigues you, and in return the listener gets nothing. Perhaps on the first occasion one cannot do anything but endure the boring nonsense, but if they call you on the phone or if you meet them again, just nip things in the bud. I make an excuse that I am on my way out, in a hurry, ... to leave. Believe me, to tell these people they are selfish or boring will only make them defensive.        :)

Mr. Anglo.., I can't stop laughing the joke

It was very funny. I checked alimostofi blog and just can't stop laughing. omg, "msabaye" should check that blog LOL.....

Pest control!

Anglo, stop flattering yourself! Pest infestation does not compare to hostage situation!!!

P.S. My apologies to msabaye for unrelated comment!

It's funny YOU should say that Arj!

"spending extensive time at someone's place who might be on a totally different wavelength than ones' self is another! It's like deliberately putting oneself in a hostage situation!" - Arj

You of all people spend most if not all of your time on this site in the company of people who are on a totally different wavelength than yours!!!

Have you, by any chance, a hostage complex old boy?

LOL 

Hostage situation!

My personal remedy would be to avoid being put in such positions. For sitting through boring lunch time conversations is one thing, and spending extensive time at someone's place who might be on a totally different wavelength than ones' self is another! It's like deliberately putting oneself in a hostage situation!

Two voices.

Yeah you are right. I think some people do just what I did. Some people think out loud. Usually they are talking to themselves aloud.

Sorry. I was rude. But a dialogue can be of two voices in your own head. After all Zoroaster was the first to say of this. Man has thr free will to choose between the two voices.

@alimostofi
FB: astrologer.alimostofi

Interesting

Solitude

What is your definition of lonely. Because most people are lonely because they are not in touch with anyone. If you don't talk or write or communicate in some way you are in solitude. You mean solitude.

@alimostofi
FB: astrologer.alimostofi

Quietness

does not necessarily signify loneliness, just as being talkative and extrovert does not necessarily mean one is not lonely,

Some people are lonely but

Some people are lonely but the lonely ones are usually the quiet ones. It is unlikely that an extrovert sits at home all day. Now you do get people who chat quietly a lot and are introverts. Just look at the quiet women in Iran whispering under their chadors.
Just watch a scorpio and a pisces. Then compare them to an aries sagittarius or worse still two loud mouths like a gemini and an aquarian.

@alimostofi
FB: astrologer.alimostofi

I'm thinking maybe

There are issues somewhat deeper than some people simply being motor mouths who talk non-stop about things.

Maybe some people have that most fundamental human need to communicate with other people, even about the most mundane subjects, because no one in their own families really listens to them or because of some other emotional/psychological reason.  Doesn't necessarily follow they are megalomaniacs.

I know someone at my work who talks about every subject under the sun. I also know that person to be very lonely in his personal life.....

 As for this moto: "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything."  

Ah, the pressure of always having to say "nice" things. Don't know about you, but I'd find it an intolerably monotonous and mind numbing life if everyone went round saying only "nice" things to each other all the time.

Yeah...the Professor is right

who talks about loving, and caring for, cats and dgos, and even fish, so much on IC...such a waste of time:

//iranian.com/main/albums/lucky-dogs

//iranian.com/main/blog/mohammad-ala/kindness-mahi-ghermez-changing-tradition

//iranian.com/main/blog/mohammad-ala/cat-sanctuary-iran

Oops, almost forgot the cheetah:

//iranian.com/main/albums/rescue-mission

And also, who would take the time to complain about something personal that happened to him back in 1998, and something personal that happened to him on Wikipedia, in the comments section on IC over and over, and over and over....

//iranian.com/main/blog/iloveiran/ross-mirkarimi-forbidden-secrets

Take a look at...

.... some of the blogs to know who likes to talk about their dog, for example.

There is not enough time to do everything in a day, therefore no time to talk or spend an hour for lunch.

........

As a reticent person, I've been mistaken for a good listener in many painful situations.................If Darwin is right, mankind will develop the biological and anatomical ability to flag others......and yet better to delete them......or  block them..............sort of a facebookish button to defriend........

I like your writings, and I can definitely relate to this one..........thanks. 

And Mr A is my

And Mr A is my witness.

@alimostofi
FB: astrologer.alimostofi

Here is the answer to you question

I am guilty of being exactly

I am guilty of being exactly what you say. I get criticized for being a non-stop motor mouth.

But I have a very astrological explanation for why I am the way I am. Astrology also explains people like you.

Humans work in pairs. The energy needs to go from my types to your types. Or you draw out the energy.

@alimostofi
FB: astrologer.alimostofi