7 Reasons Why the IRI should Invade Azerbaijan


by ayatoilet1

1)      Israel has leased airfields in Azerbaijan and has fighter planes on standby ready to attack Iran. If Israel attacks Iran, it will likely be from an Azeri location (because direct flights from Israel would a) need permission to fly across hostile air space [which would not be given] and b) be simply too far (because of the heavy bunker buster bomb payloads) and require airborne refueling which is difficult, complicated and delay the return flight which would enable Iranian Jets to interfere with the bombers/fighters. Quite simply the Azeri’s are not just witnesses but active co-conspirators in the bombing of Iran. They are playing with Fire – literally (no pun intended) – at a time when Israel has an idiot with a big mouth in power, associating with Israel is the wrong move.  Maybe they can tell Bibi that the nuclear program in Iran does not belong exclusively to the Theocracy, but was built up over 50 years by the people of Iran and successive regimes, and will continue under any new regime – this is the people’s program. And that it will NOT be just the Iranian Army marching into Azerbaijan if Iran is attacked from Azerbaijan,  it will be the whole nation of Iran.


2)      Israel’s economy depends on cheap oil sold to it from Azerbaijan. Yes, Israel is a major customer of oil shipped to the Mediterranean Sea from the Caspian. Invading Azerbaijan would cut of a source of energy for Israel.


3)      Azerbaijanis are actively promoting the idea that Iranian Azerbaijan is a distinct region with a distinct ethnicity that seeks (and/or has seeked) separation from Iran for a very long-time. Members of U.S. congress are getting funny ideas in their heads about this, and even going as far as to say if/when Iran is attacked, these sections of Iran should be ‘connected’ to Azerbaijan. Never-mind that these idiots know nothing of Iran’s history, or even about Azerbaijan’s history, but there is a suggestion that Azerbaijan might even attack Iran to ‘claim Southern Azerbaijan’.  An Iranian invasion would clear up all this confusion, I think.


4)      Azerbaijan, with Western assistance has basically taken over major tracts of Iran’s portion of the Caspian Sea, and is now drilling for oil and gas with Western Oil companies – and exporting basically Iranian resources to the tune of over 3 million barrels a day. This, over time is literally trillions of dollars of Iranian resources. The fact that Iran has had a series of treaties delianating its ownership of the Caspian Sea, ratified by a sequential governments in Iran and Russia for over 200 years – starting with the Turkmenchay Agreement – clearly making 50% of the Caspian Sea Iranian territory has been conveniently set aside. An invasion would clear this matter up, not just for Azerbaijan, but also some other neighbors that have similar ideas.


5)      Azerbaijan has now replaced North Sea oil as a major source of income for Britain and BP. Having installed a stupid dictator in power (Aliev), the Brits are basically raping the small country, throwing them a bone, while they have run off with billions upon billions of oil and gas. BP controls the pipeline to the Mediteranean and charges all the oil companies a premium for transporting oil through it, BP also controls the largest fields in the Caspian Sea. The Brits were so desperate to bring Azeri’s into their fold, they even wrote a Eurovision song for them, found an British Azeri boy to sing it, then rigged the voting so Azerbaijan would win! Now of course that they won the Eurovision song contest that makes Azeri’s European, and Iranian Azeris “Asian”.  Azeri’s are being fooled. Iranians can clear this matter up for them, and stop Azeris from getting ripped off by the Brits and their buddies.


6)      Azerbaijan is governed by a dictator, Mr. Aliev and his family and cronies. He is a son of a former KGB regional boss, who was of course Azerbaijan’s first President. Aliev was honored by George W. Bush as an honorary Texan, and has the full blessing and support of the West – in essentially enabling oil companies to rape his country. He is as corrupt as they come. It was only last week that his 11 year old son took title to two major water front properties in Dubai for $44 Million cash!! Forget about human rights there, or even a representative elective body! It’s Aliev all the way - baby!! You should read the stories about the wild sex parties BP executives threw for his dad!! An Iranian invasion, would liberate Azeris and allow them to free themselves of his tyranny.


7)      Hopefully, with Israel and Britain being so badly affected by the invasion, there will be a major counter attack (like after Iraq invasion of Kuwait), and eventually end up with the IRI will being attacked back! This in turn would destabilize the theocracy – and enable Iranians too, to become liberated! And Iranians too could once again enjoy the blessings of freedom and a true republic – for the people, by the people. Not just a bunch of shipeshoo Mullahs.  And join up with their brothers and sisters in Azerbaijan to create a united central Asian union – with their other neighbors in the region. An “EU” for Central Asia.  Let them have all the oil and gas they want, and they can export it with whichever partners they want, but allow other Central Asian countries such as Iran engage fully in their economy with them. We can trade, we can preserve the Caspian Sea (from environmental abuse), we can create a regional assembly, common currency, etc. etc. after we are both liberated!! Oh, and by the way, it will be better for the West too, because this will result in a new 'huge' market for them as China declines.


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خدایا! یک پولی به ما بده. یک عقلی به اینها!



Henry Kissinger - no more Israel in 10 years

by Peacock_Feather on


Ayatoilet, yours is one of the most rational and level headed voices on this site. I enjoy every one of your blogs and look forward to each and every one.


Lets also invade Israel!

by Fesenjoon2 on

Lets free Qods, and restore the Islamic caliphate, as the great Imam Khomeini had asked for.

Allahu Akbar! 


Another Reason to Invade Baku!

by Faramarz on



Here is Aliev and the Mrs. (not bad!) attending a concert by Placido Domingo singing Azeri song, Sene de Qalmaz.


p.s. This analysis was done on a full stomach after a late dinner!

Anonymous Observer

Brilliant idea!!

by Anonymous Observer on

Yes, let's do it ASAP, so as soon as we cross the border into Azarbaijan, we can have the entire world mobilize against us, kick our museum piece T-72's, Scuds and F-4's out of there in 24 hours and then take Iran's Azarbaijan away and annex it to the Republic of Azarbaijan for good measure and as punishment so that we don't ever engage in "gondeh goozi" again.  

I'm beginning to have serious doubts about your sanity Toilet jaan. I think the IR is much more rational than you.


Good luck

by radius-of-the-persian-cat on

Yes my fried, I'm seeing forward to watch you marching in the first row. When you propose that "... An Iranian invasion would clear up all this confusion, I think.
" I was a bit misled and thought your are talking about your own confusion. If there is any threat to the people of Iran, than it comes from the hypocrites and criminals of the IRI regime. When the mullahs are overcome, the people of Iran will live in peace with all their neighbors.

But carry on with your sandbox strategies. In particular the case of the Baku Eurovison song-contest (point 5 of your elaborate) would clearly justify an invasion. With advisers like you, which nation needs enemies.